A/N This Banna one-shot is a thank you gift for my friend Kelly, who got me hooked on the "Cormoran Strike" novels by Robert Galbraith. Cormoran and Robin are my new ship. They remind me of my dear Banna. If you haven't read them you really should.
I don't own...
Anna wasn't sure what to do. She had finally admitted to Mr. Bates that she was in love with him but his response had been...well...typical. He had called her the finest lady he had ever known but then said he wasn't 'a free man', whatever that meant. He had admitted that she had a right to ask about his situation but then told her nothing about it. He had left a space beside himself at the flower show but then made no move to encourage her to take it, leaving her standing just behind him. How could she be so hopelessly in love with someone so frustrating?
And now they were walking home. Should she let her steps fall in line with his slower ones as she normally would? It would leave them far behind the others, which meant they would be alone. That could be very awkward just now. Should she keep pace with the others and leave Mr. Bates to make his way back by himself? That didn't seem right either. After all, he had done nothing wrong and she didn't want him to feel he was being punished.
She decided to be brave once again and face the awkwardness head on. They could hash this out on the way back to the Abbey and then never have to speak of it again. She slowed her steps to match his and if he minded he didn't let it show. Of course that was most of the problem, he never let anything show. No, that wasn't right, he did let things show from time to time, they were just contradictory.
Anna inhaled deeply and screwed up her courage one more time. The others were far enough ahead now so she said, "Mr Bates, I hope you don't take what I said earlier too seriously. I hope we can still be friends." She looked at him and her countenance was filled with concern.
"I will always be your friend, Anna. Always." He spoke with great kindness. His own features gave her to think that he felt no awkwardness between them but possibly frustration with himself. He always took too much of the blame for things onto his own shoulders.
"So my lack of discretion won't cause a rift between us then?"
"No, I would never let that happen. You've been my truest friend here at Downton. You were my only friend in the beginning."
"The others just needed to get to know you," she assured him, "To see your character. I knew they would."
"But not you," he smiled his half smile and continued, "You saw me from the very first. I don't think I could have done it without you."
"Oh, stuff and nonsense Mr. Bates," she said, dismissing his comment, "If you could handle the Boers I'm sure you can handle Thomas and O'Brien."
"Well," he said, smiling again and beating his cane lightly into his injured leg, "I didn't quite 'handle the Boers' did I? And besides, comparing the Boers to Thomas and O'Brien, I'm not sure which is more dangerous."
They both chuckled and continued on in silence. Anna was relieved that the quiet was more contemplative than uncomfortable.
Just before they got to the house, while they were still far enough away not to be interrupted, Mr. Bates stopped and waited for Anna to look at him.
"I do take it seriously you know, what you said before. I take it very seriously indeed. It's the greatest honor I've achieved in my lifetime. The greatest I will ever achieve, most likely. I just don't want to be a disappointment to you." This time his smile was broad and genuine, if a little sad.
"You've been very kind, Mr. Bates. Any disappointment I might feel is of my own making, not yours. But you haven't come out and told me to give up on you," her grin became just a bit mischievous, "so I won't. Not until you insist, and maybe not even then." And with that she left him at the door and returned to the servant's hall.