Anyways, I love Nora Darhk because female villains are my personal heroin and Courtney Ford is possibly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen

Let the record show that Nora Darhk hated living with John Constantine. Ok, well, no that wasn't completely true. When the Time Bureau had recruited Constantine to track her down by her magic and bring her back in, the demonologist had instead offered her a job and a place to live. She isn't quite sure whether he did it because he thought she might be a useful addition to his practice or because he feels guilty for not being able to exorcize her fourteen year old self (probably both). Either way, she's an out-of-time thirty-five year old with no job, credit, or rental history to speak of and her own, non-demonic magic will only take her so far. So she doesn't hate John (actually considers him a friend, maybe her best friend), but in the moment she definitely feels more hate than affection for the man.

It has been a particularly long week filled with eight seances, four weirdos looking to curse their boss, and a minor exorcism. Exorcisms, even minor ones, take a lot out of all parties involved, so she wants nothing more than hot chocolate with whipped cream and caramel drizzle from Jitters and to curl up in her room while watching High Society.

She absolutely does not want or expect to walk into her apartment and find six nerds including John and a fucking Time Bureau agent sitting on the living room floor playing Dungeons and Dragons. The agent, upon seeing her, begins scrambling for his gun or whatever and she doesn't hesitate to reach out with her magic and halt his movements.

"Nora, luv! You're just in time for us to start our new campaign." John casts a look at the agent and raises his eyebrows back at her. "You will have to let Gary go; the rest of us are shite Dungeon Masters."

"You brought a Time Bureau agent into our apartment, or have you forgotten I'm a fugitive?"

"Oh, Gary won't say anything, will you, Gary?"

Nora cautiously releases him, and Gary haltingly tells her, "While this is extremely unethical, I trust John," she rolls her eyes at the agent's infatuation, "but I will not hesitate to bring you in if you try anything!"

"Great," she comments drily, "I'll be sure to take that under advisement. Now, if you don't mind, I have things I'd rather be doing."

"Ah, was the good Doctor Palmer able to sneak away for a night?" John asks her with an infuriating drawl and a wink.

Nora clenches her jaw in an effort to contain her anger, something she's been working on, and calmly tells him to fuck off.

"Oh, come on, luv! I know you're just going to hideout in your room and watch that bloody musical again. Join us and maybe Gary here'll warm up to you a bit; won't be as suspicious."

"He wouldn't be suspicious at all if you didn't invite him into our apartment."

"Well, pardon me for thinking you could do with a bit o' company."

One of the other members who has mostly avoided looking at Nora exclaims, "You could be a sorceress!"

John shakes a clear container of sparkly, red die at her. "Got your favorite color."

Witch and warlock stare each other down in a battle of the wills, until finally: "fine, but if anyone finds out about this—"

"Yes, yes, threats and whatnot. Take a seat, luv, and have fun for once in your life."

Nora's still pissed at John for bringing a time agent into their living room, but as he scoots over to make room for her in the nerd circle she's almost tempted to forgive him.

Thanks for reading! You can find my original post about this headcanon at han-bimyself on tumblr. Have a nice day!