Because this plot's been bugging me for a while now.
Summary: Maybe…just maybe, two wrongs do make a right.
Wintry Winters
Winter had always been her favorite season. The soft flakes of snow, gently caressing the windows. The dim city lights buzzing softly in the atmosphere. The people wrapped in their heavy coats, rushing to and fro. She loved it.
The one thing she could not figure out though is why it had always been so cruel to her. The winter of her seventh year her parents died in a tragic shooting, orphaning her. The winter of her twelfth year a group of foolish drunkards burned down the orphanage she'd lived in for five years, forcing her to go from foster home to foster home. The winter of her seventeenth year she was expelled from High School.
And now, the winter of her twenty third year in this god forsaken world, she had to bear with the fact that the love of her life was lying to her face, and leaving the apartment they had shared for three long, and what she thought, happy years to be with someone else.
Silently watching the girl at the doorway, a raven haired female leaned against the cheap stucco wall and smiled wearily, "…where you goin'?"
The girl with rich chocolate hair continued slipping her shoes on before answering just as softly, "Out." There was a guilty tone to her voice, although she neither turned to look at her 'lover' nor even really acknowledged her presence.
The girl standing against the wall leaned her head against it and sighed, "Oh. Where?"
The girl stood slowly and readjusted the dull white head band on her hair. She turned, her lips turned downwards as she answered, a pitiful look on her face, "Just a night on the town." She tried to offer a small smile.
The tall girl slowly approached her shorter counter part and gently reached out to further adjust the head band that seemed like it was floating above the other girl's head, "I see…" the short girl closed her eyes and took deep breaths. The next few words made her eyes close even tighter, "…with who?"
The taller girl stepped back and stared down at the girl, not an unkind look on her face. In fact, she was still smiling that sad; pathetic smile. After what seemed like an endless silence, the short girl with amber eyes mustered up yet another smile, "Just some of my girlfriends. I won't be out long."
Her heart wrenched. She wouldn't be surprised if when she died, they found her heart not torn in two, but shredded into millions of pieces. Never losing the smile, she nodded and took yet another step back, "…All right. Have fun." She used all of the strength left within her to keep her voice from shaking.
The girl nodded and turned towards the door once more. Once she was halfway out the door, she turned quickly at the voice that called out to her.
"Wait…" the smile was gone now, and all that was left was a hopeless and desperate expression, "I love you, Aoi."
Senou Aoi thought she could feel no worse, but at that moment, she felt like the dirtiest piece of trash found on the streets of Fuuka City. She gulped, her throat dry, "I…I love you too, Natsuki." She honestly didn't know why she just couldn't come out with the truth.
Natsuki nodded, somber emeralds fiercely holding back the cascade of tears. With that, the girl was out the door and into the city. Natsuki approached the door and locked it before turning back into the now, as it has been most of the time recently, empty apartment and headed for their shared bedroom.
She walked towards the end table on her side of the bed and gingerly picked up a photo they'd taken over three years ago, before they were officially together. With her free hand, she traced the image of her beloved and clenched her fist. She couldn't stand it.
What had she done to deserve this? What had she done to be given the gift and miracle of love, only to have it violently taken from her right before her eyes? How could God be this cruel? Three long years. She'd given up so much for the girl. Every cent went to the happiness of the girl who she believed loved her.
Setting the frame down in its place, Natsuki sat on the edge of the bed, the springs groaning under her weight. She buried her face in her hands. What could she do with her life now? What did she have left? Her friends, sure, but they all had their lives too. What happened to that guiding light? The tunnel had become so dark. She was afraid.
At the last thought, her eyes flew open. She stared blankly at the wall ahead of her. Afraid? What had she become? Kuga Natsuki was not afraid of anything. Her eyes hardened for a second, before softening once more. Anything but losing her.
With a frustrated growl the girl stood up and headed to the closet. Sifting through the hung garments, she roughly donned a thick white hoodie before throwing on her favorite insulated vest.
She walked into the living room and picked up her beanie. Fixing the peak slightly to the side, Natsuki tugged on her sneakers and was out the door in a short breath.
The hallway was quiet, as usual. Locking the door behind her, Natsuki shoved her hands in the pocket of her vest and quickly padded down the stairs. Without making any human contact, she left the front door of the building and instantly shivered. Winter Fuuka nights were numbing. The bright metropolis was so loud compared to the quietness she experienced in her apartment.
With a breath, she advanced down the street, avoiding trash piles and people alike. The night was still young and the crowd still lively. Although she had no particular destination in mind, she just walked.
Along the way, she passed by a familiar church. It was situated in the middle of her neighborhood, looming almost. The once bright panes of the awesome building were now dull, their sills covered in layers and layers of snow. The cross at the top seemed like it was mocking her. God was mocking her. With a fierce growl she turned away from the building and kept on her way.
Blindly walking through the city for what seemed like minutes, but was probably hours; she was startled when the forgotten device in her pant pocket vibrated. Pulling the phone from her pocket, the familiar name made her smile, just a little. With a sigh, she pressed the little green button and greeted her friend, "Hey Mai."
"Natsuki! How are you?"
Natsuki stared off, "I've been better…"
"Aww, you poor thing! You should come to the Diner. I'll make you a nice hot dinner, and we can talk." Natsuki could feel, more than hear her friend's concern.
After thinking for a few seconds, she answered, "I actually want to be alone tonight Mai…you know? I'll stop by tomorrow though."
Practically bubbling with energy, Mai answered, maybe a little too loudly, "What?! What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?"
Wincing at the volume of her friend's voice, Natsuki pulled the phone away from her ear, "Nothing. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Without waiting for an answer, she pressed the red button and stuffed the phone back into her pocket.
After that short distraction, Natsuki actually looked up to see where she had practically sleep walked herself to. Apartments lined the street, and it was a bit quieter in this part of town, though not by much. Looking ahead, Natsuki squint her eyes to read what street she was on.
Her eyes occupied, she was caught by surprise when a red head basically stormed out of a nearby door and straight in front of her path, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Natsuki stopped abruptly and watched the scene unfold before her while others murmured and walked away. A handsome woman with short and ruffled black hair came bursting through the door, one hand holding up her pants while the other was reaching for the read head walking away from her, "Nao, h-hold on! Let's talk!"
"There's nothing to talk about Chie, obviously." She continued walking away.
"Come on Nao. Let's just talk for a little bit! I'm sorry!"
The girl whirled around in anger, "You know what, take your sorry, and shove it up your ass Chie. No, better yet, shove it up your little whore's ass instead!"
Natsuki continued watching in mild shock, "Nao. Don't be like this. Come on, just come back inside, and we can all talk about this calmly."
"I don't have a damn thing to say to you, Chie. Not a damn thing." A few begs and a middle finger later, the girl was off down the street, and the former retreated back into the apartment building. After watching the read head known as Nao run off, Natsuki slowly shook herself from her stupor and continued walking.
Sighing to herself, Natsuki mumbled, "Looks like I'm not the only one having a crappy night…"
She had no idea how long she'd walked for. It could've been seconds, minutes, or hours, but she finally found herself being attracted to a plain and homey looking Diner somewhere along the street. The bell rang softly as she stepped inside, and warmth quickly seeped into her body. Shivering from the abrupt temperature change, Natsuki took a seat at the counter, the swiveling chair swinging lightly for a second.
A waitress with an open smile approached her, "Hey, what can I get you tonight?"
Taking a quick glance at the menu, Natsuki absently replied, "Coffee and a BLT'd be nice."
"Coming right up sugar." She winked and walked away.
Sighing for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night, Natsuki kept her thoughts away from her seemingly lost lover, and instead thought about the red head and, who she assumed was, her own lover. Relationship problems seemed popular tonight. She scoffed and lazily leaned against the counter.
Too caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice the front bell ring or a familiar red head entering, until that same red head took a seat right next to her. Natsuki glanced at the girl through her peripherals and saw the same waitress come up and take her order as well.
Nao, a tight frown still on her face, sighed and set her cell phone on the counter, the chains jingling lightly against the surface. Feeling the other girl's eyes on her, she grew annoyed and turned to face the stranger, "What?" Her frown immediately disappeared, and instead, she stared in awe at the sight before her.
Sitting next to her was a girl with long cobalt hair sheltered by a beanie. Her eyes were a sharp green, almost exactly like her own. They were dull…whereas hers were sparking with a roaring fire. Soft lips were upturned slightly, and soft looking pale skin nearly glowed in the light, "Sorry." A sheepish smile appeared on Natsuki's cheeks as a flush overtook her features. She was caught.
Nao felt her own cheeks burn, the sight was so adorable. She watched as the stranger pulled down the peak of her beanie over her face. The sight became even cuter. Shaking out of her stupor, Nao once again donned her frown and said, "Why were you staring at me like that?"
She was only looking from her peripherals. Was she that obvious? Taking a moment, Natsuki finally answered, "Sorry I uhh…" she trailed off, "Just never mind, sorry about that." she stared at the clock hanging on the wall in front of her.
Even more annoyed at how the girl avoided answering, Nao growled, "What is it?"
Surprised at the tone of the other girl's voice, Natsuki herself began to get annoyed. Who did the girl think she was? Natsuki was trying to be nice despite her mood, "It's nothing. Really. Sorry." She managed to keep her tone down.
"Look, I know you want to say something, so just say it and we can both go on with our lives."
Sparing an annoyed glance at the girl, Natsuki herself growled a little. Before she lost herself, she managed a deep breath and answered, "It's just…it's oddly comforting seeing someone in the same boat as I am." She stopped and thought before chuckling bitterly, "Although that's not exactly a good thing…"
Nao furrowed her eyebrows, "The same boat?"
Her flush returning, Natsuki coughed, "Oh well, uh, I saw you earlier…running out of the building and I…yeah…sorry." She coughed out of embarrassment once more.
Nao blinked once. Twice, before her shoulders slumped and she turned towards the counter once more, "Oh…"
"Yeah, sorry to bring it up. That was sorta rude wasn't it?" She smiled sheepishly and awkwardly rubbed the back of her head.
Nao looked at the girl from her peripherals and sighed, "Don't worry about it." A bitter frown overtook her features.
Natsuki immediately lost her smile, and her own frown was created. She turned back towards the clock and watched it tick tock slowly. Too slowly. Her mind had too much time to bring up thoughts she really didn't want to think about at the moment.
"What the hell's wrong with people these days?" Surprised, Natsuki turned towards the other girl, who had yet to turn and face her.
"What?"
With an annoyed groan, the other girl turned towards Natsuki and asked again, "What's wrong with people these days?"
Taking a moment to think, Natsuki glanced around the mostly empty diner, "I…I couldn't tell you." She turned back to the counter.
"I mean, you give them everything you've got, cater to their every need, and sacrifice so much for them only for them to act like the ungrateful and deceitful little worms they are."
Natsuki listened on silently.
"You give them the best of what you've got and it's apparently never good enough. They always want something more." She scoffed and rested her head on the palm of her hand, "Pigs."
Silently agreeing, but never showing it, Natsuki merely stared at the clock again, letting the girl's words seep in. It made sense.
Nao's voice became quieter, weaker, "How can they spend two entire years making you feel like you were the most cherished person in the world, and suddenly take that all back for some stranger you've never even seen before…?"
Natsuki's eyes softened and she could've sworn her heart slowed a few beats. The waitress came back with her mug of coffee and Nao's similar mug of coffee before disappearing behind the swinging metal doors once more. Someone new entered the diner as the bell jingled softly throughout the room. Staring into her coffee as if it would give her all the answers, Natsuki lowered her eyes and said softly, "Maybe…maybe we're just too oblivious. Maybe we just couldn't see what was right in front of us." She turned towards Nao and smiled sadly, "Maybe it was just meant to be this way."
Nao slumped even more and buried her face in her arms, "Now that's just bull. Nothing's ever meant to be any way. You build your own future, and you choose the path you go. If something in your life goes wrong, it was your own damn fault."
Natsuki frowned, "After everything that's happened to me, I guess I should think like that. But at the same time, there were times where I just couldn't control what happened. It wasn't my fault that my parents were shot and it wasn't my fault that some jerks decided to get drunk and play with fire at my orphanage. It was my fault that I was expelled from High School, and I guess…it's my fault that Aoi's become so…distant. But, my point is, not every negative thing in life is necessarily due to your actions."
Nao glanced up at the girl from the counter and sighed, her now half lidded eyes tinged with sadness, "I guess…you kind of have a point. When my mom fell into a coma…I blamed myself. I wasn't a good enough daughter. I didn't look out for her enough. I didn't tell her to watch her health." She sighed, "It's easier to blame yourself. That way, people feel sorry for you, and your friends start visiting you more often." She rolled her eyes at the last comment and smiled.
Natsuki found herself laughing softly as well, "You know what? You're right." The two shared small smiles before the waitress returned with their respective orders.
"Here you go sugars. One BLT and one chicken sandwich. You enjoy now, and keep warm; it's cold out." She winked and disappeared yet again.
After that short interlude, Natsuki found herself actually wondering where she was. She took a look around at the plain diner. A blank white washed wall shaped into a boring rectangle was the basic shape of the building. The long counter she sat at went from one end of the room to the other, while behind her a few tables were scattered here and there. The glass doors not far off were chilled, frost growing on their panes.
"You know, I think I'm probably lost." Natsuki mumbled.
Nao turned from her sandwich and stared at the girl, "Lost?"
"Well I could probably find my way home eventually, but I don't think I've gone to this part of town." She smiled sheepishly.
"How can you live in this city, and not have been to every nook and corner?" The girl gave the stranger a pointed look.
Natsuki blushed and coughed, "I don't really get out much…I work as a mechanic just down the block from where I live, and the mall isn't far off either. I guess I never really ventured down this way."
Nao stared at her incredulously, "How long have you lived here, exactly?"
Natsuki rubbed the back of her head nervously, "My entire life…basically."
"Wow. You really don't get out much do you?"
"No." Natsuki laughed nervously.
Nao looked around, "So you don't live in this part of town?"
"No. I live by Garderobe."
Nao dropped the bottle of ketchup she was holding, "You live all the way down there? How did you get out here?"
Natsuki shrugged and coughed nervously, "I walked."
"You walked?! For how long?"
Natsuki looked at the clock, but the time was lost to her, "You know…I couldn't tell you." She laughed lightly.
Nao's eyes softened at the lost expression on the other girl's face, "So…we're alike, aren't we?"
Natsuki, lost in the moment, raised her eyes, "Hm?"
"We're the same." Nao said pointedly, before taking a hearty bite out of her sandwich.
Natsuki quickly remembered and nodded, "Yeah." She turned to her sandwich, and time passed both quickly and silently as the two strangers ate. The clock continued to tick, and the waitress had come in and out of the swinging double doors numerous times.
By the end of her sandwich, Natsuki's thoughts were filled with questions. Her eyes were clouded over with a seemingly lost mist. Her mouth was turned in the most unattractive of ways, and her body moved mechanically to finish the rest of her meal. Nao, who had finished a little earlier, glanced up at the slightly taller girl and watched the emotions fly across her face.
"Hello?"
Natsuki blinked a few times before turning to Nao, "What?"
"You looked a little lost. For a second there I thought you'd choked on your sandwich or something." She turned back to her own plate of fries.
Natsuki blushed, "Oh, no. Sorry, I'm just thinking about a lot right now."
"Don't think about it too much."
"What's that?"
"Don't think about it too much," she wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin and gave a soft look to the girl next to her, "I've been thinking about it the whole walk here, and even after I sat down. But I realized it just hurts more when you think about it."
Natsuki didn't respond at first, but her slumped shoulders and defeated sigh gave way her answer, "…Yeah. It's hard though."
"I know." They sat in silence.
"We'll have to face them sooner or later." Natsuki turned to the clock that read almost midnight.
"Hmm, later sounds much more appealing."
Natsuki laughed lightly and responded with a soft smile, "She's probably home by now…"
"I don't even want to know what that bastard is up to." Nao sighed and turned her stool to fully face Natsuki.
Natsuki glanced at the other girl, "You know…I don't really want to go home." She smiled slowly.
Nao smiled back and nodded, "Neither do I."
Looking around nervously, Natsuki rubbed the back of her neck, "I don't really know my way around here…" she trailed off.
Nao jumped off her stool and left cash on the counter, "You know there's a little park not too far off…" she looked at Natsuki, "Just got new street lights in. It's no Central Park but…"
Before she could finish, Natsuki stood and mimicked her earlier actions before nodding, "That sounds pretty good right now, actually. That is…if you don't mind some company." Natsuki flushed and looked at the shorter girl.
With a sigh, Nao nodded and headed out the door. With a tug on her scarf, she turned and watched as Natsuki exited the establishment. With no further conversation, the two were off down the street, freckles of snow dancing above and around them. Looking up, Natsuki stuffed her hands even deeper into her pocket and let out a breath, "Snowing."
As if barely registering the word, Nao merely hummed in response and kept her pace in order to fend off the cold. Natsuki always seemed amazed by the snow, no matter how many times she'd seen it or touched it. Every time it snowed, a look of amazement always appeared in twinkling green orbs, and she often found herself lost in the soft flakes of ice.
Glancing at the girl next to her, Nao watched as Natsuki continued to be enraptured by the frozen pieces of water floating around them. With the snow around her, it seemed like she was glowing. A faraway look upon her eyes, the girl seemed so distant, though she was standing right next to her. The sound of a car honking brought her out of her thoughts. Stunned, she stepped back, "Watch where you're walking!" An angry man with his head out of his cab window shook his fist at the two seemingly oblivious girls.
Blinking a few times, Nao growled and yelled back, "Why don't you watch where you're driving! Jackass!"
Looking at Nao, Natsuki asked, "You okay?"
Dusting off her shoulder, Nao nodded, "Yeah. God; the nerve of that guy."
Natsuki merely smiled, and the two continued on their way. Natsuki now found her eyes constantly drawn to her feet. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. There was something interesting about it, she guessed.
Nao's voice forced her to look up, "This city can be so cold." The girl shivered and rubbed the sides of her arms.
Understanding the double meaning in her words, Natsuki nodded and shook out her shoulders in an attempt to gain some heat back. Her breaths came in smoldering white puffs, visible against the city lights, "…It's oddly soothing though."
Silently agreeing, Nao watched the street for cars this time, and when it was clear, proceeded to cross. Soon, the vision of trees and a large clearing could be seen. Natsuki stared in awe. The park lit up.
"I still can't believe you haven't been to this part of town, and you've lived here for however many years."
Natsuki flushed, "It's a big city. I don't get around much."
"But this is the big city. You know, some people actually dream of living in this shit hole."
Natsuki looked around and turned to the shorter girl, "Well maybe someone just might be willing to trade."
After crossing another street, Nao looked up at her companion, "Oh? You've been thinking of leaving?"
Natsuki smiled fondly, "Don't get me wrong, I love this city. Hell, I love the city life. But, there are just too many memories here. Good and bad." Natsuki shrugged and sniffed, "I guess I just want a new pace, new memories," she smiled at Nao, "A new life."
Nao nodded, her mind still processing what the other girl had just proposed. She looked around the city. Shops were barred and closed, laundry hung off of balconies, and the alleys were filled with trash and whatever else people had managed to fit back there. Frowning slightly, Nao watched the ground with each step.
She only looked up when she felt a gentle nudge at her shoulder. She looked up at Natsuki, who was staring straight ahead, "We're here."
Shifting her gaze to the park before her, Nao nodded, "Yeah. This is it." She watched as Natsuki walked forward. She only watched the back of this stranger she had just met, as she made her way into the park. Her eyes softened, and her mouth opened slightly, her breath becoming visible with each second that passed.
Noticing a missing presence next to her, Natsuki stopped and turned sideways to look back at a still immobile Nao. With a curious look on her face, Natsuki tilted her head to the side, "What's wrong?"
Shaking her head, Nao shook her head, a light blush tinting her cheeks, "Nothing. Sorry, I got a little preoccupied…"
Nodding in understanding, Natsuki waited for the shorter girl to catch up before resuming her trek through the new environment. Her eyes could not stop moving. She took in every inch of the dimly lit park. Fireflies danced around a small pond not far off as the wind gently caressed the trees in its breeze, "You know, I wonder why I've never come out this far."
Nao watched Natsuki through her peripherals as they blindly followed the pavement.
"I guess, while I was growing up, I never really had a chance, or the mindset actually, to really go anywhere." She shrugged as her head shook, "I just didn't care." She stopped and slowly plucked a leaf from a nearby tree, "I wish I did. Even if it was just a little." She looked at Nao, "Yeah…I wish I cared a little." Sparing a smile, she continued on her way.
Nao silently took in the information and watched the pavement ahead of her. Shifting the hands in her jacket pocket, Nao shuddered and let out a breath. She slowly closed and opened her eyes before beginning softly, "I grew up with just my mom. She had to work all day and weekends to support the both of us after my dad split." The last two words were said bitterly, "She was sick a lot. But, she always told me to go have a childhood." A fond look appeared in her eyes, "Straight after school, I would come to this very park and play in that playground, right there." She smiled as she pointed to a barely lit playground.
Smiling, Natsuki headed towards it. Nao blindly followed.
"If it wasn't a good day though…I'd take a walk. I know, not the safest thing for a little girl to do. I wanted to know every inch of this city though. I'd read maps and look places up in phonebooks. Then, when I started high school, I discovered the Northern Docks. My friends and I went straight there after school from that point on. We never really did anything productive. But, it was enough just to be with them."
"Sounds like you really love this city." Natsuki eyed the swings with a strangely gleeful look.
Nao nodded, "I do. But maybe you're right." Nao looked at the playground fondly, "Maybe it's time for a change."
Finally close enough, Natsuki ran for the swings and jumped on it, grabbing the chain in one fluid motion. Nao, stunned, watched as Natsuki swung on the contraption and soon, jumped off. With a smile, Natsuki approached Nao, "I could be wrong though."
With another slow smile, she made a mad dash for the play structure and with one great leap, landed on the tips of her toes, her hands gripping the side railings. Making her way through the small corridors, Natsuki climbed up the side and sat herself atop the monkey bars. With a satisfied sigh, she looked down at Nao.
Nao merely looked up at the other girl and shifted her weight onto one foot, "Maybe."
Natsuki motioned for Nao to join her. The red head shook her head and laughed, "Come on, it's nice up here."
Nao slowly climbed up the play structure, but once she got to the point where Natsuki had to climb up the sides of it, she stopped and looked up at the girl, "This is as far as I'll go."
"Why? Not afraid of heights are ya?"
Scoffing, Nao crossed her arms, "No. But these boots are probably slippery. The last thing I need is to fall and break my leg."
Natsuki shook her head and scooted closer to the other girl before reaching her hand out, "Come on."
Nao stared at the hand, and then back at Natsuki, "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Here, take my hand."
"No way, I don't want to risk it."
Rolling her eyes, Natsuki still didn't retract her hand. Instead, she looked into the other girl's eyes and asked, "Take my hand. You trust me?"
Nao smiled and turned away playfully, "I just met you."
"That's not what I asked. Do you trust me?"
Turning back to the other girl, Nao looked deep into her eyes, and something told her to take that hand. Dumbly nodding, Nao took the other girl's hand, "…Yeah."
"Now just put your foot there, and push."
Still a bit reluctant, Nao did as she was told, and two gentle hands came and helped her up. In seconds, she was sitting atop the monkey bars next to the stranger. Natsuki nodded and leaned back, "See? It's nice up here."
Nao leaned forward and pointedly said, "Yeah. The dark silhouettes which are probably trees are really interesting."
Frowning, Natsuki sighed, "It's all about the bigger picture. Look past the blank silhouettes and what do you see?"
Nao shook her head, "More tree like silhouettes?"
Natsuki's frown deepened as she leaned forward to properly face the red head. Nao flushed at their close proximity and looked ahead again. Natsuki studied the girl's face carefully and then looked back out to the dimly lit park, "You can't see it?"
Nao looked at Natsuki, and then back out, and then at Natsuki again, "See what?"
Natsuki leaned as far as she could and stared out at the seemingly endless plain of nothingness, "Your childhood."
Nao stiffened and looked back out at the darkness, "My childhood?"
Natsuki nodded, "Can't you see it? Can't you see yourself?" Natsuki managed a smile, "If you can't, that's fine too. Sometimes, the things you miss the most, aren't always the things you remember the best." Her smile slowly faltered, "For example, I miss my parents the most. But the memories I have of them, no matter how good, are too few. I can't even remember the details that well either."
Nao watched as Natsuki stared off into space, her eyes becoming misty eyed and pensive as her speech trailed off. Nao looked at her dangling feet and then up at the night sky, "You know when a person's gone, the things you remember most aren't the big things." She turned to Natsuki, "It's the little things. My mama died just two years ago." Nao looked away, "But the things I remember the best are things like our times grocery shopping, the way she used to tease me all the time, the smile she always wore on her face, and how she would always tell me to be my own person and never let anyone tell me I couldn't do something." She turned back to Natsuki, "Not even her."
"My condolences…"
Nao shrugged, "I think she deserved it."
Natsuki tensed and looked at Nao.
"She worked hard her entire life, and the only reason she lived for as long as she did was her sheer willpower to not leave me while I was unable to take care of myself. Like I said, she was sick a lot, and the hours she worked didn't help either. She deserved peace. Rest."
Softening, Natsuki laced her fingers together, "The day I was expelled from High School, I was kicked out of my, at that time, current foster home. They said I'd never amount to anything without a good education." Natsuki became silent for a while, "They were right."
Nao nodded slowly and looked at Natsuki.
"To this day I still regret the decisions I made in High School. Hell, I could've been out of college by now. I could have a real job, a good apartment…a nice relationship. That day just ruined my life." Natsuki kept nodding.
"I'm sorry."
Natsuki smiled, "Don't be. You see, I'm content with my life the way it is. Sure, I may have my…problems, but honestly, I'm glad it didn't go any other way." She shrugged, "Life took me where it knew I would be happiest I guess. I might not be completely happy now, but I know that I will eventually find happiness."
"And how do you know this?"
"Well I met you didn't I?" Natsuki laughed, "To be honest, tonight's been one of the best nights I've had in…man, I don't even know how long."
Nao flushed and looked at her lap, "…Same here."
Clearing her throat, Natsuki turned to Nao and offered her hand, "Kuga Natsuki."
Shaking the proffered hand, Nao nodded, "Yuuki Nao."
Natsuki nodded and jumped off the monkey bars, elegantly landing on her feet. Turning back to the other girl, Natsuki stuffed her hands in her pockets and tilted her head to the side, "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Jump."
"I'm not afraid of heights."
Natsuki laughed and gave an amused smile, "I never said you were."
Flushing, Nao crossed her arms and looked down, "Move."
Raising an eyebrow, Natsuki took a few steps back, "Roomy enough?"
Looking around, Nao took a deep breath, a scowl firmly in place. After her breath, the girl gingerly hopped off the monkey bars and landed unevenly, causing her to trip forward. Natsuki was faster though, and instead of the snowy ground, Natsuki's arms enveloped her, "Thanks." Was the mumbled word after she was stood upright.
"You all right?" Concern was evident in the husky voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Sorry, I never would've let you do that if I'd known you would get hurt. It's just that I'm so used to things like this and I guess I thought you would be too…" Before Natsuki could nervously ramble any further, Nao stopped her.
"Natsuki." The use of her first name caught her attention. That was the first time Nao had said her name this entire night, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine. Really." Nodding dumbly, Natsuki replayed the voice clip in her mind over and over again. She liked the sound of her name.
"Well, if you're sure. Sorry anyways."
They stood in the middle of the park, two seemingly strangers with a similar problem to escape. Natsuki tried her best to look past the slightly younger looking girl and shivered as a breeze blew by.
Nao stared intently at Natsuki's face, her gaze tracing the outlines of the girl's features. A darkness began to seep into her eyes. Her mouth opened slightly as she gazed at the, now that she really looked, androgynously beautiful girl. She watched as Natsuki tucked her hands in her pockets and looked to the right, her voice barely a whisper, "…I really don't want to go home." It was true.
Nao, who was thinking a similar thought nodded, "Neither do I." Her eyes glazed and she looked in the opposite direction as Natsuki. Her hands stuffed themselves into her jacket pocket, and she let out a deep breath, watching as the puff slowly dissipated in the night air.
Natsuki nodded and shifted where she stood. Looking back towards the city, Natsuki glanced at Nao and caught her eyes. The pair looked at each other with similar expressions. They seemed calm and collected. Natsuki's earlier playful demeanor was gone and she was as stoic as ever. Nao felt her heart thumping in her chest. The gaze they gave each other was like a silent understanding. They were both heart broken. They were both broken in general. They needed an escape. They needed something to let them know that they were still, and could continue to be, alive.
"…Come on." Nao brushed past Natsuki and headed back into the city.
Natsuki hesitated for a second before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. After successfully collecting herself, she followed after Nao, a good meter between them as they walked.
The Hotel lobby Nao walked them to bore a comforting silence. Natsuki glanced around the room and relished in its beauty. The glamour of the city sat in this very room, not that she really paid attention.
After stepping up to the front desk, Natsuki barely registered Nao's voice as she spoke. The time flew and soon, they were in the elevator and before she knew it, she was shutting the door to their room behind her. She watched as Nao moved forward, her jeans barely containing the taut and firm bottom of her companion. Natsuki's eyes began to glaze over as she realized why she was here in the first place.
Nao looked around the lavishly decorated suite. Looking at the bed, Nao realized that they really only needed that one piece of furniture. She shrugged. If she was going to do this, she was going to enjoy it as much as possible. Her face took a calm expression. She was being watched. Without turning around, she started towards the bathroom and breathily said, "I'll be right back."
Natsuki hummed in response and finally moved forward. She watched as Nao's figure disappeared behind the bathroom door and looked at the bed, the sheer size of it causing her to shake her head.
Wordlessly, she removed her beanie before shaking out her hair, the blue strands returning to their free appearance. Staring at the beanie in her hands, Natsuki thought of Aoi. She'd been the one to give her the article of clothing. Last Christmas. Rubbing its soft material, Natsuki's frown deepened.
Sighing then, Natsuki threw the beanie carelessly on the end table next to her. Her shoes and socks came next. They too were tossed carelessly aside. She removed her vest and let it hang off the edge of the bed. While in the middle of pulling her hoodie off, the door to the bathroom opened, and she found her eyes glued to the figure emerging from it.
Donning nothing more than the underwear she'd worn under her clothes, Nao approached her. The expression on her face was unreadable, but she could see in her eyes that an aching flame resided there, both from loss and lust. Nao watched as Natsuki's expression didn't change. Her arms remained in place at the edge of her hoodie.
Nao moved towards Natsuki, who was now standing, and removed the hands at the hem of the sweater. She replaced them with her own and bid Natsuki to put her arms in the air. She removed the piece of clothing and let it fall elegantly next to her. She was now in close proximity to the girl she'd just met earlier that night.
She could feel Natsuki's breath on her hair as she stared at the taller girl's lips. Licking her own, she could feel her mind slowly begin to cloud over. Good. Placing her hands gingerly on Natsuki's shoulders, she began rubbing slowly as if to lull the other girl into a pacified state.
Natsuki said nothing, but tentatively placed her hands on the other girl's hips, rubbing circles on the spot with her thumb. Her thoughts of Aoi were slowly, very slowly, beginning to dissipate, although a snag of guilt continued to gnaw at her every being.
Ignoring the feeling, Natsuki slowly trailed her hands downwards, reaching back to caress the red head's bottom. Nao sighed and placed a kiss on the underside of her partner's chin. She continued to trail kisses up her chin until finally reaching the pink and inviting lips she'd been staring at for the past minute or so.
The moment their lips met, a surge of warmth spread across her entire being. A deep sort of fulfillment started growing within her. Chie's kisses never did anything like this to her. Even though their sole purpose tonight was of a sexual nature, the kiss felt anything but sexual. The taller girl's lips moved against her gently, as if she was afraid she'd break her if she did anything more.
Sighing at the gentleness of the experience, Nao was reluctant when Natsuki pulled away, but a mere centimeter or so. Their lips were still touching as they both just stood there and breathed. Natsuki's hands moved up to her waist and were rubbing slowly. Pulling the girl closer, Natsuki found that it was easy to mold her own body to the shorter girl.
Her mind began to drift to Aoi once more and she squeezed her eyes shut. She was about to commit what she wished Aoi never did to her. Shaking her head, she whimpered slightly and kissed Nao briefly before grazing her lips again and breathing.
Sensing the turmoil Natsuki was having, Nao shook her head and held the other girl's face gently, "Let's forget. Let's forget it all…even if it's just for one night. Make me forget, Natsuki." The desperation in her voice was not lost on the other girl.
Tightening her grip on Nao, Natsuki nodded slowly. She'd been trying to ignore the pain of it all the entire night. They both had. Now though, so deep into the night, they were emotionally exhausted and had no more strength to will the thoughts away. They needed a distraction, and they just happened to find that in each other.
It was just a coincidence how they both began to feel this strange warmth seeping into them. It was just a coincidence how just by looking into the other's eyes they could find hope and a glint of what could have been happiness. It was just a coincidence that both their emotions seemed to be struggling to fly. To soar. It was just a coincidence that their two brutally shattered hearts seemed to find comfort in one another, and fit together like the pieces of a children's puzzle. It was all just a coincidence.
Natsuki finally crushed her lips against that of the other girl's, all gentleness gone. There was something about this girl's taste. Something about the way she smelled. It filled her with something so genuinely comforting, yet brought out her raw and carnal desires. Natsuki savored the flavor and didn't realize when they'd fallen upon the mattress, clinging to each other desperately.
Nao made short work of her clothing, and she returned the favor as she unclasped the girl's bra. She rolled them over so that she was on top and unceremoniously, yanked Nao's panties down, only one leg successfully making it out of the flimsy cloth. That didn't matter though.
Greedily placing her hand on the girl's breast, Natsuki kneaded and licked at her throat as Nao struggled to breathe properly. Her eyes began to fog and her thoughts quickly lost their coherency. All she could see was Natsuki; all she could feel was Natsuki; all she could smell was Natsuki. The mere thought of it sent shivers down her spine as her legs tried to close, the wetness between her legs growing with each knead and lick.
Natsuki moved her head up to kiss the girl beneath her, a coppery taste beginning to form on her tongue, although it was currently occupied with Nao's at the moment. Sliding one hand downwards, she cupped the mound that was Nao's swollen sex, causing a shiver of excitement to run down the girl's spine as she moaned.
Natsuki released the other girl's lips as her hand began to rub at a languorous pace. Nao struggled with herself and vainly tried to get Natsuki to move at a faster pace. Natsuki was having none of that though, wanting to savor the feel of her companion's hot, wet, and inviting womanhood at the tip of her fingers. She grazed over her companion's hardened nub and nipped at the red head's neck, causing groans to escape her desperate companion's lips.
She wasn't here to tease though. In a swift movement her finger had made its way inside of the other girl. Natsuki shifted as Nao arched her back. Still caressing the shorter girl's breasts and relishing in the taste of her neck, Natsuki began to move her hand at a slow pace, trying to get comfortable within the surprisingly tight red head underneath her before slipping a second finger inside. Nao's cries were unabashed. She clung onto Natsuki as if she were a lifeline.
She tried thrusting her hips up to encourage a much less torturous pace, but Natsuki would not budge. Strong arms kept her in place as she whimpered and moaned for something Natsuki didn't seem to want to give her just yet.
Instead of increasing her pace, Natsuki slowed to a stop and pulled out. Frustrated beyond belief, Nao stirred and groaned, trying to thrust her hips up into the girl above her. Natsuki removed her lips from the girl's neck and held herself up, her eyes washed with nothing but lust. Just the sight of Natsuki was enough for Nao to completely lose herself. It was just this carnal attraction that she felt had been locked up the entire night, unknowing to her. She watched the bluenette carefully.
Natsuki felt her own sex tighten as she Nao lay below her, hair astray, lips swollen, and sweat streaking her flawlessly pale skin. Shuddering, Natsuki further spread Nao's legs and nudged them backwards, to which Nao complied. Settling herself between her partner's legs, Natsuki braced herself with her left hand as her right stroked their way up the other girl's thigh.
Nao wanted to scream, the contact was becoming too much for her to handle. She wanted to close her eyes, but was afraid that if she did, she'd wake up from this dream.
As she looked down at Nao, Natsuki contemplated her actions. Nao was beautiful though. She'd only met her, but she'd already shared things with the red headed beauty that people she'd known for much much longer had only heard a while ago. It even took her half a year to tell Aoi some of the things she shared with Nao. It just came out.
She stared at Nao, but slowly began to regain her thoughts of Aoi. She shook her head and breathed deeply. No. She didn't want to feel it. Not when much better feelings awaited her right there.
Shaking her head again, Natsuki leaned forward and captured Nao's lips with her own before thrusting her hips against Nao's. Nao immediately broke the kiss as their lower lips crashed into each other with such a pleasurable force. She barely had time to recover as Natsuki continued to thrust against her, the muscles on her bottom accented by the force she used. Nao in turn thrust up at her, trying to gain as much friction as possible.
Natsuki's breathing was heavy above her. Opening her eyes, Nao could see a strained expression on the other girl's face. The creaking of the bed hardly registered to her. Closing her eyes, Nao clung onto Natsuki's back.
Feeling nails rake across her back, Natsuki hissed in both pain and pleasure, but did not slow her pace. In fact, her thrusts became more desperate, more powerful with each second. They continued on, no words spoken for minutes. The only sound was the groaning of the bed, the pants from Natsuki, and the labored whimpers and moans from Nao.
Nao's foot arched as the panties still hanging off her ankle swayed with each thrust.
Natsuki closed her eyes and fisted the now mussed comforter with both hands; her hips grinding as fast and hard as they could possible go. Nao threw her head back against the pillow as her own hands reached back and clenched the edge of the very same pillow. She met Natsuki's pace and realized that they were both close.
Natsuki's breathing was heavy against her neck as the blue haired girl hid her face against her. She was going to lose her mind. Nao shook her head from side to side, groaning and releasing wanton cries as she was almost at her peak. She opened her mouth to form words, but found that she was unable to do so at the moment.
Natsuki felt like she was going to tear into the comforter as her release came. With a few more powerful thrusts, Natsuki felt Nao buck up against her, the red head's scream filling the room. As Nao's spasms continued Natsuki herself felt herself explode as she whimpered, "Nao…"
She tensed and continued thrusting against the other girl, but now in a slow and languid post coital manner. Once they both had a chance to catch their breath, Natsuki rolled off of the other girl and placed an arm over her eyes. Nao curled on her side and closed her eyes, trying to hold on to her heart before it took off right in front of her.
After a long while, the two's breathing finally slowed to a normal pace, yet they had yet to look at each other. Suddenly, the force of the situation hit them both. Here they were, trying to forget their problems in each other's arms, while in reality, they only made things worse.
Natsuki stared at the ceiling. Nao had her back turned to her and was facing the door. The silence seemed to go on forever until Nao shifted in her spot, "We're no better than they are."
Natsuki still didn't turn to look at her. She was right. They escaped, but only for that short period of time as they were lost in each other. Now though, things seemed worse than before. Not only were their lovers at fault, but they were also. Yet, Natsuki could no longer find the guilt that had been gnawing at her at the beginning. She shifted in her spot, "…Do you regret it?" her voice was low and tired.
Taking a few moments to answer, Nao slowly shook her head, "No."
"…Do you feel guilty about it?"
Taking another few moments to answer, another shake of the head followed, "…I don't."
Natsuki nodded slowly, "Me neither." She didn't get it. Aoi was supposed to be the love of her life. Why?
Nao closed her eyes and clung at the sheets, "Does that make us bad people?"
Natsuki sighed and closed her eyes as well, "I…I don't know." Natsuki glanced to her left and looked out the window, "It's still snowing."
Nao finally turned over to her other side and faced Natsuki, although the other girl had yet to look at her. She stared at the other girl, and her heart began to go wild. How could this be? Reaching over, Nao unconsciously grasped Natsuki's hand. Natsuki turned to look at her, and laced their hands together. Perfect fit.
She looked down at their joined hands and whispered, "How can they fit together so well?"
Nao kept her eyes locked on Natsuki's face, "…Maybe we're just too oblivious." Natsuki looked at her, "Maybe we just couldn't see what was right in front of us…Maybe…maybe it was meant to be this way." Natsuki held her eyes for the longest time. It was strange, having her own words repeated to her. It was strange, feeling how much truth they held.
Nao's hand was so warm. Thoughts of Aoi weren't even relevant to her at this point. The pain had been replaced with a different feeling. All she could understand and see was Nao. Yuuki Nao. The stranger she'd met only hours earlier. Yuuki Nao, who denied being afraid of heights. Yuuki Nao, who had her heart broken by the person she loved. Yuuki Nao, who she felt closer to than anybody else at the moment.
Nao glanced at the clock and looked back at Natsuki, "It's late, and you're probably tired." She released the hand she held and turned back towards the door before slipping under the covers, "If you want to leave…that's fine. But, if I've learned anything tonight…it's that running doesn't always work. Sometimes, facing the music and taking it with dignity is the best thing you can do."
The room was quiet as Natsuki stared at Nao's back and listened to her breathing. Parting her lips, Natsuki let out a breath before closing her eyes, "...Nao?"
"Hm?" The grunt was soft.
Natsuki turned on her side and looked at Nao, "Do you trust me?"
Nao slowly turned to face Natsuki, and found that the other girl was much closer now. So close that she could feel her breath on her face. Her expression soft, Nao replied, "I just met you."
Natsuki reached for the girl's hand, her heart beating furiously, and laced her fingers in her loose ones, "That's not what I asked…Do you trust me?"
Nao stared deeply into sincere green orbs. They shone with deep emotion, though slightly troubled. Shaking her head, Nao replied, "I do." and laced her fingers with Natsuki's, although she couldn't understand why.
Natsuki nodded and pulled the shorter girl closer to her. Holding her to her body, "Why?"
Nao snuggled into Natsuki's warmth and inhaled her scent, "I honestly couldn't tell you."
Silence reigned after that as their breathing evened, and the two were lulled into a deep sleep. Tomorrow would bring what tomorrow would bring. They could do nothing other than face it head on. Natsuki, with Nao wrapped in her arms, would have it no other way.
Hope that wasn't too horrible. My first try at real smut. Whoopee? Feedback would be appreciated via review, although just you reading it is enough. (: Thanks for reading.