Note: the formatting on this website sucks, so just imagine the emails have the full addresses. Based on a mix of movie and book canon. Timestamps on emails are either just before or during the scene at it precedes. They'll be more important later.

To: bluegreen118

From: frommywindow1

Date: Nov 11 5:38 PM

Subject: RE: College !

Blue,

It's funny, I've always dreamed of going to college, to go be as out and gay as humanly possible. But now I'm here, it's just so surreal. I'm sure you understand - there's just something freeing about being Out.

I mean, it's not like I'm walking around campus with a rainbow on my shirt every day, but just knowing if someone asks, I don't need to lie anymore res good. Like I can do anything. I almost didn't believe I'd get here.

Thank you, Blue, for making me feel brave enough to come out. I couldn't have done it without you.

I kind of wish you were here right now, just so I had someone to experience being Out with. Someone who really gets the experience.

Jacques

/

Internally, Simon was freaking out. And perhaps a bit externally too.

"This isn't funny!" he told his best friend Abby, as she laughed at him. It's full on, doubled over belly laughs. She looked like she was about to fall over.

Simon felt more and more ridiculous by the second.

"It so is, Simon," Abby said finally as she finally stopped laughing and wiped away a tear. "Your parents are so sweet."

"They think I'm seeing someone! That I have a boyfriend!"

"Don't you?" she asked and gave him a knowing glance. "What about the email guy?"

"No," Simon said, feeling himself blush at the thought of Blue. He almost regretted the fact he'd drunkenly confessed the whole email story to Abby the week before at a party she'd dragged him too.

He'd first met Blue on a message board for closeted teens when Simon was a senior in high school, one of those places Simon had frequented but never had the guts to post on let alone talk to anyone on until bluegreen118 - now simply Blue - had made a post that Simon had felt an instant connection to.

They didn't even know each other's names, having decided to stick to anonymity in case anyone ever found their emails - Georgia wasn't exactly the best place to be an openly gay teenager.

But despite the anonymity, Blue had been a rock in Simon's life. He was the one who'd helped Simon finally get the guts to come out to his family. Simon still remembered the conversation - how nervous he'd felt before he'd finally blurted out the truth and felt an incredible weight leave his shoulders. His parents had been good about it, just as Simon had hoped, but it was another thing to actually know for sure.

A month had passed since then, and his parents had joked about finding him a boyfriend and Simon didn't think they were serious until they'd mentioned that they knew Martin Addison's brother was gay, and apparently single too. At which point he'd panicked and told them he had a boyfriend already.

Naturally, they'd been very excited and asked about a hundred questions at once, to which Simon had snappishly replied they could as him next time they skyped with him. That had only made them more excited.

"Then just tell them that you're not seeing anyone," Abby said. "Confess the truth."

"You didn't see their faces. How could I let them down?"

Simon knew logically that Martin's brother might not be awful, but he didn't like the idea of his parents intervening in his love life. Just because they'd found one other gay guy out there it didn't mean Simon wanted to date him. It was just too weird to date someone from Shady Creek, especially someone he probably didn't have anything in common with besides liking men.

"Then just find someone. I'm sure there's some guy out there who wouldn't find being your pretend boyfriend," Abby said and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Simon shook his head. "I can't just ask some random stranger to be my boyfriend for a Skype call - and what if they invite him over for Thanksgiving? I don't want a stranger in my house. Also, it's not like I know any other gay or bi guys yet."

"Haven't you at least gone to the LGBT social events?" Abby asked.

"Not yet," Simon admitted. He'd tried a couple of times, but every time he was about to go out he found some excuse not to go. University of Georgia did have a relatively pleasant community out there - Simon had obsessively looked over the facebook page for the LGBT society over and over as soon as he'd gotten his acceptance letter. But he still wasn't sure if he was ready to try yet.

"Then I'll find you a boy," Abby said with a smile. "I think Nick might know someone."

"Nick?" Simon asked skeptically. "He's the straightest guy I know. And he's not even in Georgia currently."

"Yeah, but he's friends with that guy Garrett from my stats, who mentioned he has a gay friend. We were thinking about setting you up with him," Abby replied. "But I guess this works too."

"Thanks - wait. Set me up?" Simon asked. He was glad he'd met Abby during one of his history lectures, really, but he didn't know how he felt about her conspiring with one of his childhood best friends to set him up with a guy.

"Simon, you've barely even tried to get out there. Shouldn't college be about being your best self?"

"I know," Simon said "I just. Wasn't ready before."

"Is this because of Blue?" Abby asked, giving him a Look.

"I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. I like him," Simon replied, looking down. He was well aware his crush was hopeless with a capital H, but that still didn't stop him daydreaming about what it might be like to kiss Blue, whoever he might be.

They'd never even exchanged pictures, and sometimes Simon wondered if Blue might be a catfish, but he didn't think so. There was something that felt real about Blue, despite all the anonymity. Little things that just felt too real to have been constructed by some creep on the internet.

So, he might not know what he looks like, but what Simon does know is this: Blue is 18, just started college and lived in Savannah and attending college somewhere in Georgia. Now, Simon's not quite sure where Blue decided to go to college, but he wondered. They'd talked about it in vague terms before - discussing options about which ones were more LGBT friendly than others, daydreaming about being able to move all the way to the more progressive cities like New York or San Francisco.

Sometimes, Simon imagined they'd ended up at the same college - that any guy he saw around campus was Blue. But there's at least eight colleges near Savannah, and at least eighteen more in Georgia itself (Simon should know. He'd looked it up). So, the chances of Blue going to the same college weren't exactly great odds.

"Then why not ask him to meet, or at least get a picture?" Abby asked.

"I don't want to pressure him,' Simon said. "And it's worked for us so far."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Well, suit yourself. I've got work to do."

/

To: frommywindow1

From: bluegreen118

Date: Nov 4 7:00 PM

Subject: RE: College !

Jacques,

There's no need to thank me. You're the brave one here - I only did it a couple weeks ago. You've been out a whole month already, which is better than me.

And I get what you mean - I'm glad I did it. I don't regret telling my parents, although I wished I could've gotten it over in one go like you did. There's something about coming out to both your parents separately that's supremely awkward. I don't regret it though. You were right about that.

I kind of wish you were here too, honestly.

Blue

/

There was a loud knock on Bram's bedroom door, a second of warning, before his best friend and roommate Garrett Laughlin burst in. "Yo, you decent?"

"Of course I am," Bram said.

"Had to be sure - didn't know if you were getting any hot action with some dude," Garrett said.

Bram blushed. "I'm not hooking up with anyone," he said. "Why are you here?"

"I've got a favour to ask - well, Nick's friend Abby does technically," Garrett said. Bram braced himself. "They've got this gay friend -"

"Are you trying to set me up?" Bram cut in. "Because you know just because we're both gay doesn't mean we're gonna fall in love."

"Not exactly. Simon needs a fake boyfriend," Garrett said. "And I know that, but, for the record, I think you would like Simon if we were setting up a date. Which we're not."

"What does he need a fake boyfriend for?" Bram asked.

"His parents are apparently trying to set him up with this dude from Shady Creek and Simon doesn't want that. So he apparently lied and said he was already dating someone. And now his parents wanna meet the dude."

"I don't know," Bram said. "That seems a little ridiculous. Why don't you do it? You already know Simon."

"Do I look like I could pass as a gay guy?" Garrett asked, gesturing to himself. "I couldn't. I'm too much of a ladies man. It's a blessing and a curse."

Bram rolled his eyes. Garrett hadn't even been on more than maybe three dates since the semester had started. He was the first person Bram had ever officially come out to - they'd met during the summer at a state soccer tournament and they'd gotten along really well so Bram had decided to come out to him at the end of the tournament. And by luck, Garrett had been pretty cool about it and even suggested they share a dorm.

Bram even considered them best friends by this point - he didn't really talk to anyone he knew back in high school, all those friendships fizzling out as they all moved to various colleges across the country.

"Come on, I'll show you what he looks like," Garrett said, and pulled out his phone. "Here - look."

Bram looked at the profile Garrett had pulled up - Simon Spier. Bram had to admit, Simon wasn't a bad looking guy.

"See?" Garrett said. "He totally looks like your type."

"I don't have a type," Bram argued.

Garrett rolled his eyes. "I'm your best friend. I know you."

Bram looked away. "I mean. What if I'm already seeing someone?"

Garrett gave him a look. "Is this about that email guy?"

Bram blushed. "No," he lied.

Garrett didn't look convinced.

"Fine. Maybe it is," Bram said, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut about the whole thing.

"Well, you don't have to date him for real, and doesn't this email dude not know who you are anyway?"

"I guess," Bram said, although he felt a little weird about the idea. It almost felt like cheating. Not that there was any sort of actual relationship between them.

As much as he didn't want to admit it to himself, Bram was seriously getting a crush Jacques - the guy he'd been emailing. It had all sort of happened one day when he'd gotten the message reaching out over his first post on the ClosetLife message boards. It had been a little strange at first to see someone actually respond to his post, but once they started talking Bram had felt an instant connection with the guy. He didn't even know his real name - a choice they'd made together back in high school and still hadn't broken the habit of. It was just easier to talk to someone without a face.

He did worry sometimes that Jacques wasn't actually real - that he was some invented persona of a creep preying on kids, but Bram hadn't gotten any odd vibes from the guy. At least even if Jacques wasn't a real teenager, this stranger had finally given him the courage to come out for real.

"So, it doesn't matter," Garrett said. "Fake being this guy's boyfriend for like an hour and help him out forever. It's simple - and you probably won't even need to change your facebook status."

"First of all, we're not even Facebook friends, and second, do you think that's even necessary?"

Garrett shrugged. Maybe not, but who knows?"

"You said it was only a skype call," Bram said.

"You never know," Garrett said.

"Are you trying to set me up with him?" Bram asked.

Garrett shook his head. "No, he really does need a fake boyfriend, I swear. I'll get him to message you."

"I don't know," Bram said.

"Look - it's not that bad, and you get to make a whole new gay friend out of it too - Simon's a pretty chill dude. He's friends with Nick and Leah, and both of them are cool as fuck."

Bram thought about it for a minute. It was a little ridiculous, but he did need to find more gay friends - he didn't have any yet (apart from Jacques, but it wasn't like they could just hang out together for real) and he'd been too shy to even try going to any of the LGBT social events or the resource centre. Maybe this would be a good start.

"Okay, fine. Tell him I'll do it."

"You're the best, Greenfield," Garrett said, tapping away at his phone.

Bram really hoped this wasn't going to backfire.

/

To: bluegreen118

From: frommywindow1

Date: Nov 6 8:22 AM

Subject: Desperate Times

Blue,

Do you ever accidentally agree to something, knowing full well it's probably a bad idea? Because that's what these 8am lectures feel like, amongst other things. Unfortunately not even this iced coffee can save me now.

Send help,

Jacques

/

"I found you a boyfriend," Abby said gleefully as she sat down beside Simon in the cafeteria at lunch.

"Already?" Simon asked skeptically.

"Duh," Abby said. "I said I could find you someone."

"Who is it?" Simon asked.

Abby pulled out her phone, typing in something before she showed Simon the screen.

"Bram Greenfeld?" Simon said, reading the name out loud.

"Yeah, he's a friend of Garrett's. They share a dorm."

Simon had never been that close to Garrett in high school. They'd sort of run in the same circle, and got along alright, but it wasn't more than a friendship born out of the fact they shared a mutual friend in Nick.

"So, do you like him?" Abby asked.

"He's cute," Simon said, looking over the picture. It was true - Bram wasn't exactly a bad looking guy, according to his profile picture - dark skin, a nice smile and dark brown eyes. The photo looked like had been taken mid-laugh, like someone had snapped a candid right at the perfect moment.

Abby wasn't friends with him, so there wasn't much info to glean off the profile, but the photos were cute. A few of them were action shots from soccer games which showed off some really incredible soccer calves.

"I knew you'd like him," Abby said proudly.

"You know he's not going to be my actual boyfriend, right?"

"I know, but I think you two would be cute together. And look, I know you're still holding out for that Blue guy, but still. It might not hurt to try."

"Does he actually want to do this or is this an elaborate plan to set me up?"

"No, Garrett asked already. Bram's cool with it."

"Oh," Simon said. "He knows what this is, right?"

"Yeah, he's aware of the situation."

"Good, because I don't think I could handle that right now," Simon said. Although it was nice to think a guy like Bram could be into him, Blue was the one he wanted. Even if he didn't exactly know much about what Blue looked like.

"And it's not," Abby said. "So, let me tell you about your boyfriend: he's from Savannah, definitely gay and currently very single. Played soccer in high school, but not anymore. And pretty hot too - Not bad for your first college boyfriend."

Simon's heart rate picked up at the mention of Savannah. He wondered if Bram had met Blue, or maybe even was Blue, but he dismissed the thought. It was too much of a long shot - Savannah was a whole lot bigger than his hometown of Shady Creek. There were too many people out there and he didn't know if he could handle the disappointment of mistaking someone for Blue.

"Okay, when are we meeting him?"

"Add him on Facebook," Abby said. "Make your own plans. This is your fake boyfriend, not mine."

Simon sent a request, surprised to find Bram almost immediately accepted it.

"I'll message him later. I'm still so tired," Simon said, thinking wistfully about the nap he was planning to take later that day. Except now he kind of wanted to spend that time looking through Bram's profile (so sue him. It wasn't like he was confident enough to just openly check out dudes yet, so Facebook stalking it was).

"An 8am class is good for you," Abby argued. "Means you can really make the most of the day."

"Is it really making the most of the day when I need to drink ten iced coffees to survive?" Simon argued. He'd already had two today, and was still feeling like he might fall asleep at any second.

"If you keep doing it you won't need coffee."

"Impossible. Everyone needs coffee."

Suddenly, Simon's phone buzzed with a notification - Bram had sent him a message already. Curious, he opened it.

Bram: Hey, Garrett told me about your boyfriend problem. I'd be happy to help you out.

Simon: Hi :) sorry if it's weird, but seriously, you've saved my life.

Bram: It's really okay. I don't mind helping a friend of Garrett's.

Simon: We should meet up soon. Just so I know who my boyfriend is.

Bram: Good thinking. When?

Simon: Coffee Bar tomorrow 2?

Bram: Works for me.

Simon sighed in relief. "Abby, I love you," he said.

Abby smiled. "As you should."

/

To: frommywindow1

From: bluegreen118

Date: Nov 6 9:43 AM

Subject: RE: Desperate Times

Jacques

I've definitely made a few questionable decisions lately, but I like to think that just because I'm doing them for a friend it might not be so bad. Good luck with those 8am classes.

I'll see you at my 10am starts. :)

Blue

/

Simon: Hey you coming?

Bram looked down at his phone, feeling a rush of nervousness. Was he actually doing this? It felt like something that only happened in movies, and even then only to straight people. He should've just said no, but Simon was really cute and he did need more gay friends. So, why not enjoy the company of a hot guy and get to know him too? It couldn't be so bad.

He'd talked with Jacques all the time about stepping outside of his comfort zone, so wasn't this at least a step forward? It was better than being too shy to ever go out to meet another gay person.

Bram: I'm almost there.

He took a deep breath and slid his phone back into his pocket, glancing at the sign on the shop to make sure he'd gotten the right one. He knew it was, but checking again somehow made him feel just a little less anxious about this ridiculous thing he was going to do.

Once he was inside, he spotted Simon almost immediately, head down and obviously checking something on his phone. After Simon had sent him a friend request, Bram had admittedly spent a couple of hours scrolling through Simon's profile. Apparently Simon had only come out recently too, and even then there were very few posts about being gay on his profile. But what he did have were a lot of photos. And sue him for looking through a cute guy's photos.

"Simon, right?" Bram said as he sat down. "Hey."

Simon looked up from his phone, looking a little startled. "Bram," he said. "Hi."

"So, you need a fake boyfriend," he said, feeling a little awkward. How did you even begin a conversation about this kind of thing?

"Yeah, thanks again," Simon said with a nervous laugh. "You've just saved my life."

"It's fine," Bram said.

There was a bit of an awkward pause, as both of them tried to figure out what to say next. "Do you want anything?" Simon asked. "I mean, it's the least I can do."

"Oh, sure. Just an iced coffee, with milk," Bram said, thinking about the message Jacques had sent earlier that day about the iced coffees he was apparently living off to cope with his hellishly early starts.

"One iced coffee with milk coming up," Simon said, and got up to go order. Bram tried not to feel a little guilty as he walked Simon leave. Of all the people to be fake dating, Simon definitely wasn't the worst.

As always, when he thought about boys, his mind drifted to Jacques. He knew his feelings were perhaps a little ridiculous, considering he'd never even seen an actual photo of the guy. But that was how their emails worked - anonymous was easier because it was so much better to confess to someone who you never had to put a face to. But despite the lack of pictures or real names, Bram felt like he'd really gotten to know Jacques. Every single time he saw an email appear in his inbox it often took all of his self control not to immediately respond to it - and even then, he'd read it at least twice before composing the perfect response.

They managed to email at least once a day, sometimes more often if Bram sent an email at the right time. It was hard to judge when the other was free once college started, but as time went by Bram was more and more adept at judging the times when he'd be more likely to get another response from Jacques sooner rather than later.

He wondered a lot about meeting - in his head, he had this fantasy that he'd see Jacques and just know. That they'd look over at each other and meet eyes, and Jacques would smile, and then they'd walk off into the sunset. Or something. He knew it wasn't a realistic fantasy in the slightest, but he couldn't stop picturing it.

"One iced coffee with milk, for Bram," Simon said and placed the cup in front of him.

"Thanks," Bram replied, taking a sip. It tasted pretty good - a little cold, but he could see how someone could get sucked into drinking them all the time.

Simon sat back down at his seat, an iced coffee of his own, sans milk, in his hands.

"So um, I should probably let you know I'm sort of into someone?" Simon said after a moment. "Just so you know it's not like I'm going to get attached. This really isn't a set up."

Bram let out a sigh of relief. "Oh yeah, uh, me too actually. It's sort of a long distance thing," he said, not feeling too bad because it wasn't entirely a lie.

"Oh, wow," Simon said. "Is he cool with you doing this?"

"It's not official or anything," Bram replied, although he did secretly wish it was. Jacques was a funny guy, and always so sweet. More often than not, he had to resist the urge to ask to meet, or reveal too much about himself. He was falling, and hard for this guy.

And besides, would Jacques even like him, anyway? Sure, they'd jokingly flirted before, and he had sent that email saying he wished Bram (Blue) was right there with him, but that didn't mean anything. Jacques probably thought he was out of state.

But Bram was almost a little sure he and Jacques went to the same school - it was just the little things, but Bram didn't want to say anything. Not until Jacques said something himself.

"Oh, well, good," Simon said. "So I should probably warn you about my parents, just so you're, um, prepared."

"Are they bad?" Bram asked.

Simon shook his head. "No. if anything they're a little too supportive," Simon said. "They're both democrats and pretty liberal otherwise. So, I kind of always knew they'd be cool, but I didn't have the guts to come out to them until recently."

"I know the feeling," Bram said. "I was so scared when I was coming out to my parents, but they were cool with it."

"My dad didn't stop making bad jokes for weeks after," Simon said, rolling his eyes. "I had to tell him Grindr wasn't just facebook for gay people."

Bram laughed at that. "At least they're enthusiastic."

"Maybe a little too enthusiastic. I really didn't think they were serious about finding me a boyfriend until they mentioned Martin's brother."

"You don't like him?"

"I don't know him. If I'm going to date, I kind of wanted to do it on my own terms," Simon said with a frown.

"So how do you want to do this?"

"We skype every week, so we've got a few days to come up with a plausible story. You're free Saturday right?"

"I don't really go out much, so that works," Bram said. "I'm pretty boring."

"Oh, awesome."

"It shouldn't to be too hard, right? It's just a skype call."

"They're going to ask a lot of questions," Simon replied. "Like I said. Enthusiastic."

"So, let's get started. How did we meet?"

"Garrett? I mean, he's friends with Nick, isn't he?" Simon suggested.

"The soccer guy from out of state?" Bram asked. It made him think about Jacques, who also had a friend who was out of state. He wondered if there was any degree of separation there.

"Yeah, he's one of my best friends," Simon replied. "So, Garrett set us up, which I think my friends wanted to do anyway, so that's not entirely a lie."

Brams heart rate picked up a bit. He might be a little (a lot) hung up on Jacques, but he if he wasn't he might not have minded being set up with someone like Simon. He'd done enough Facebook stalking to know that Garrett was right - Simon was definitely his type. Not that he'd ever admit Garrett was right about this to his face. He'd never live it down.

"Well, I guess a little truth does help. So, we met because of Garrett. How long have we been dating, then?"

"I came out a month ago, maybe a little longer than that?" Simon said. "Any longer and it wouldn't make sense."

"That could work," Bran replied. He tried not to think too much about Jacques, who'd also come out about a month ago, and had frankly been the inspiration for Bram finally getting the guts to do it. He'd tested the waters with Garrett, and then after that had taken a few more months before he'd attempted to come out to his parents. In fact, Jacques saying he'd finally come out gave Bram the confidence to do it only a couple of weeks later. Telling both of his parents had been awkward, but they'd ultimately been accepting. His mom had even started asking if there were any "cute boys" he had his eye on. Bram didn't know how to explain Jacques, so he never said anything. It wasn't like he could casually drop he was maybe a little bit in love with a person he'd never met.

"Then we've been dating for a month, after Garrett introduced us. Sound good?" Simon said.

Bram nodded in response. "Easy."

A/N: wow here we are, my first fic in this fandom - I've loved the book for years and tbh that movie was Amazing (the first movie I've seen twice in cinemas in aaages), so it was probably inevitable I got involved and wrote something.

I've got four chapters + an epilogue planned, so hopefully I can stick to weekly updates (I've got some of it pre-written, so hopefully I'll be able to get this done asap).

find me on tumblr agentalien

PS. don't necessarily condone messaging strangers online without knowing they're at least an Actual Person - stay safe and all that jazz. This is just a fun little, not too serious fic that's basically constructed to be as ridiculous as possible.