An idea that was formulated one morning while listening to B52's Love Shack and consuming way too many cocoa bombs than my body required. Completely AU, separate from my other works set between S2 and S3. Sorry TomChel fans this one is not for you :( ... But everyone else please enjoy!
Bid On Me
"Ladies and Gentleman, are you ready to meet the man of your dreams?" came a husky Russo-American accented feminine voice over the sound system as the live band in the corner stopped playing, the room's attention swayed to the stage where a 5ft8 dark blonde woman with grey blue eyes stood in a tailored white suit with a black bustier underneath. Her hair was short in soft waves framing her face as she stood on the stage with a teasing smile and confidence that made anyone envious as she captivated the audience.
"Oh my god, who gave Nika a microphone." Alisha said with a chuckle as the woman on the stage informed the crowd that they could bid on weekend retreats, spa vouchers, restaurant meals, outdoor activities etc besides the main auction. She spoke with flair of a game show host as she directed people's attention to what prizes they could bid on as well as the main event.
Alisha turned to those at the banquet table reserved for Nathan James Crew. They were all decked out in semi formal wear. Andrea, Danny and Alisha were in Dress blues while Kara was dressed in a navy tank maxi dress with a silk pleated skirt. She was roughly 25 weeks pregnant and thus unable to fit into her uniform,but she looked beautiful as her hair was loose and her skin glowing with happiness. Val sat next to Alisha decked in a black suit jacket with a grey silk shirt and grey tapered pants that accentuated her fine figure. Kat was looking beautiful dressed in a knee length ruby red bustier dress with an a-line skirt and her long hair in a half up half down do. Andrea stood at the table in Navy blue v-neck silk jumpsuit with her hair out loose around her shoulders.
"She's one of the organisers." Kara said as Nika was their friend of sorts. She helped run the local childcare facilities. Group homes, foster care were overrun and rare to find as the government couldn't find qualified people or services to support them properly. So privately owned children institutes opened, they were funded by donations and time of volunteers and the government policed them to make sure they were providing appropriate facilities and environment for lost children. It wasn't a perfect solution but for now it was better than any other options. They weren't terrible places as one would expect. Yes, it was sad that they had to exist but they were more like boarding schools except the age restrictions were wider and the rules were a little more relaxed.
"But if what you came for tonight was for some fine looking Navy Sailors, then keep your eyes on the stage! Now let's thank the Hilton Hotel for hosting this event, the local businesses for supplying us with some amazingly romantic packages and all the men who agreed to participate tonight and don't forget all proceeds are going to the National Orphans' fund. So don't be afraid to bid high if you see something you like!" Nika told them with a sparkling smile, the room was filled with over a hundred people cheering and clapping. "And I guarantee you will. They're all single, all sensational and fine specimens of the male species." she added in a salacious manner which garnered a few whoops and wolf whistles.
"Really?" Alisha asked sceptically, Kara grinned while Danny felt as uncomfortable as Alisha and Val. Kat and Andrea just looked amused at the conversation as they had come purely to see Tex make a fool of himself on stage. That and Kat was given a bank to make an attempt to buy her own Dad. But looking around the room at all the women and men who came, she figured he was safe so she bid on some outdoor activities that piqued her interest.
"It's a hetero thing." Val said as if it explained everything. Danny frowned.
"If you make the winning bid, you will get a romantic evening alone with your choice of-" Nika continued speaking going over the rules of the auction and the instructions. There wasn't much, bidders were supposed to raise their numbered paddles, shaped in a red heart and yell out the number.
"Then why are you two here?" Danny asked them a little too bluntly as Kara elbowed him in the stomach to tell him as much.
"For the silent auctions. We've bid on the getaway retreats and the restaurant deals." Alisha said as she turned and smiled at Val like they were being mischievous and it was adorable. "And I have my iPhone charged for this." Alisha added holding up her phone ready to immortalise the select few of the Nathan James' crew in their glory as they were auctioned off.
"No spas for you?" Danny asked them mockingly.
"We were leaving that for you pretty boy. You look like you could use some work." Val drawled.
"Can it, you two; they are starting the bidding." Andrea told them before she took a sip of her beer looking to the stage. She'd been relishing this upcoming event for weeks ever since Mike and Tom were strong armed into volunteering as Bachelors to be auctioned off.
"This is going to be fun!" Kara said bouncing in her chair a little too excitedly for Danny's liking. They'd come to support their friends and laugh at them. It was also a good excuse for them to have some adult time.
"I don't know why we're even here." Danny said as there were not many men in the room, but more because he'd rather spend Frankie-Free time doing something other than this blatant objectification of his friends.
"Drum roll please..." Nika said and a drum roll sounded from the band. "Give a warm welcome to our first brave bachelor, His name is Eric and Petty officer 3rd Class," Miller strode out on the stage with swagger as Justin Timberlake's song 'SexyBack' played. "he's born and bred Iowan. He may look sweet and innocent but this man's pelvic sorcery is sublime." Nika said with a very feminine sigh of known pleasure even though she had no clue.
"Oh my lord." Tom said half amused and disgusted as he laughed. Miller started gyrating and moving on the stage like he were living his own version of Flashdance minus the water works and the crowd of rowdy women and some men were eating it up.
There were some things he did not need to know or see and he had a feeling the whole night was going have to be scrubbed after tonight. That or write a list of infractions given the men were in their BDU's and not acting appropriately given the moves Miller was doing out on the stage. At least, it proved that there was not enough starch in that man's uniform.
"I'm not doing that." Mike said with a dark expression, he didn't look any happier to be here than Tom did. But they were technically single and it was for charity plus Tex pointed out that they were major celebrities who'd bring in the coin. So they'd agreed to suffer the mortification of being auctioned off as a side of beef and politely sit through one meal. It wouldn't be too painful or at least that was the hope.
"It's for the kids and dancing was optional if I remember correctly." Tom said deciding it was best not to watch, he also silently hoped he didn't have to do what Miller was doing as that wasn't his style.
"Wow, the women in here are eating Miller up." Alisha said surprised as she looked around at the cheering women on Miller who danced really well. She had pegged him as a bad dancer but the man moved like Usher.
"Let's start the bidding at $100." Nika said over the noise of overexcited women.
"$100." Kara called out over the noise, Danny and Alisha looked at her. "What? I'm supporting a charity." She explained defensively, but even so a blush did streaked across her cheeks as she was bidding on a bachelor when she was married.
"You're married to me. Why would you want to have a romantic evening with Miller?" Danny asked.
"His pelvic sorcery is so strong that she's already forgotten about you." Val deadpanned before she and Alisha broke into laughter. Andrea coughed into her hand covering her own laugh.
"I still remember you, I just wanted Miller get more money than Burk as he was teasing him mercilessly about it. I'd also prefer Burk's ego not get any bigger." Kara explained to him.
"Ok, $200." Danny called out, a few women a table away turned and glared at him before one of them outbid him.
"Looks like the boys are getting into it ladies. Do we have another bid?" Nika asked, then the price went up and outside the budget Kara had set until there seemed to be a tiny bidding war that ended with Miller sold for $1500. He disappeared behind stage, Nika promised the bidder that all the men would greet their winners after the finish of the auction before moving on.
"I did not see that happening." Danny said speechless as Miller was the goofball, shy kid and sure he'd grown a lot but he wasn't an especially good looking guy.
"Awwh, is someone jealous because they don't get to know if they are worth more than a Ginger?" Val teased.
"Dude, you rocked it." Cruz said impressed with Miller who was red faced from embarrassment. He had gone first so that way if he got a low bid then he'd be able to say it was from going first when people were warming up. Nika called out Cruz to the stage and the next song came on as Cruz brushed past him and headed out.
"Yes, Miller you did us all proud." Tom remarked from the back where he and Mike stood basically hiding as they were the last two to be auctioned off. There was a slight hope that maybe people would be broke and not able to buy them. Just a hope.
"Sir, I apologise for my behaviour." Miller blustered as he realised belatedly that he probably shouldn't have done what he had in uniform.
"$1500 for charity forgives a lot Petty Officer." Tom assured him as he decided he was giving everyone a free pass giving they'd volunteered for this. Something he still couldn't believe.
"Thank you Sir." Miller replied looking relieved.
"I'm impressed, I told you if you just let loose with the dance moves then they'd go crazy." Wolf said clapping the man on the back in a brotherly manner.
"Now we gotta all beat him." Burk said.
"Want to make it interesting?" Tex asked them all, a slow grin spreading across his face as there wasn't anything more fun than a bet being made on one's own looks.
"Next up, Lieutenant Carlton Burk, Chicagoan transplant to St Louis. If I were you all, I'd skip over him for his older brother out back who won the genetic lottery of his family. But he has some redeeming qualities. He's got passable table manners." Nika said from the stage in a dry tone, her body language screaming her lack of enthusiasm.
"Nika's still sour about New Year's Eve." Alisha remarked making a 'this is awkward' face as Nika was tearing Burk to pieces but the man bore it well as he came out strutting his stuff and winking and smiling at the woman. Flexing his muscles and showing a few dance moves to 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke. The women didn't mind at all but it wasn't an effective showcase as the previous guys.
Cruz had already pulled in a smooth $1600 with a sexy salsa moves and just being him. Nishioka earned $1000 but then the man was just adorable and polite and funny. Gator got about $800 for playing his own music with the live band that was in the corner that had been playing earlier before the auction. Wright managed $950 but the man looked like a Californian Ken doll and came out shirtless which enticed the younger women in the crowd into a frenzy. Much to the disgust of Kara and those at their table as they just felt the kid took it way too far. Frankly they didn't want to see that much of him.
"Yup." Kara said before she laughed at Carlton moving on the stage oozing confidence. As he just rocked with what Nika threw at him. The crowd seemed to take her obvious dislike of him as a sign that he wasn't worth the money.
"We're not bidding on him." Danny told her as bidding started for Burk, he was already revving the crowd for more bids but it was slow go.
"Why not?" Kara asked as the bid was up to $300 and it looked like it wasn't going to get any higher.
"Cause I don't want a threesome with him." Danny said with a grin.
"But Miller does it for you?" Val asked Danny in a mockingly innocent manner.
"$600." Alisha shouted which made Val look at her. "It's for the kids." She said with a shrug.
"I can't believe Nika bombed me." Burk said as he stepped back into the back stage area, Tex had already jumped out onto the stage as the next bachelor to be auctioned. He was currently in a Q&A with Nika which was earning the man a few laughs and wolf whistles as Tex had made a point of saying he was not shaking his ass for anyone.
"Well, $800 is still something." Miller said diplomatically, he was definitely riding his own high as he knew he wasn't the best looking guy in the room but the fact that he beat Burk in what was the closest thing he'd get to a beauty competition did make him feel pretty damn awesome.
"Should've gone shirtless bro." Wright said trying not to laugh as Burk had the lowest bid of the night.
"Put on your clothes Ensign, you've displayed enough of yourself for one evening." Mike ordered Wright. The man snapped to attention and nodded pulling on his shirt and jacket buttoning up as quickly as possible. He was counting down the minutes for this to be over and didn't need to be standing around with half naked kids like Wright.
"Burk, maybe you shouldn't have taken Nika to a party and drunkenly kissed another woman." Tom said with a wry smile enjoying the look of shock and disbelief on Burk's face as he couldn't believe that he knew.
"There is a reason why the cold war lasted 45 years." Mike remarked to Tom like they were commenting on a TV show than Burk's life. But he knew the command knew everything. They might not know exactly when something happens but they always found out. Burk frowned wondering if the Captain had just cracked a joke given Nika's had Russian ancestry, she was born in America but she had deep ties to her family and culture.
"Yeah, those Ruskis can hold a grudge Dude. Even I know not to do that unless both chicks are into it." Wright said.
"Do us all a favour and be quiet." Burk told Wright.
"Awwh, give the squirt a break. He might have been plucked up by a lady but he doesn't know what to do with her." Wolf said with a smug grin.
"I so do." Wright argued.
"Kids, play nice. Only a few more sailors to be sold off and we all get to enjoy the rest of our nights." Tom said in a father like manner. But he couldn't hide his own amusement at the men as he wondered when a ruler was going to come out to play. It also made him feel old as he wondered if he was ever like that.
"$1600, do I have $1700?" Nika asked as Tex stood next to her grinning broadly at the room of men and women. This auction wasn't such a bust after all and it was just what Tex had needed to lift his spirits as the past month and half had been spent in a haze of grief and starting over. His heart still ached for the loss of Rachel but as he learned long ago, life kept moving. Now Kat was in his world, she needed him to show her how to keep moving forward and find some joy. It was why he'd volunteered for the auction. He figured it'd be a good laugh even if his daughter won the bid but the little imp had nearly left him at the mercy of a woman in her 80's. But luckily he was saved.
"Going once, going twice... Sold!" Nika announced.
Tex smiled, his pulse racing as he took a bow to room and took his leave. A happy skip in his step as he went out the back, Andrea Garnett had just laid down a lot of coin for his presence for an evening. Hell, he'd have given it to her for free but at least he knew his price would go to something worthwhile.
"Who bought you?" Wolf asked Tex as he returned to where the others were.
"A beautiful, leggy redhead. Looks like Valentine's this year won't be a bust after all." Tex said with a grin as he smacked Wolf on the back as the man headed out to the stage. Nika was already announcing Wolf as the possible Thunder in their down under if they won the bid. The old joke earning a good laugh.
He moved towards the back where Tom and Mike looked distinctly uncomfortable. He didn't blame them, they were men who preened under the veracious flattery of women cat calling and wolf whistling like bunch of construction workers. Maybe it was an age thing as Tex found the humour in it, not the juice to fuel his ego.
"Nervous?" Tex asked them.
"No, just wish it was over." Tom remarked as he was bored given half an hour had passed and he really wanted to be home with his kids and father than here. Ok, part of him was nervous. He could and did survive hell but the idea of being bid on just seemed like a new circle of hell.
"Same." Mike said.
"Well, aren't you next Captain Slattery. I'm sure there's a woman out there wanting a piece of you." Tex teased, Mike glowered at him.
"Not happening. I gave Garnett money to bid on me." Mike informed him, Tom looked to his friend impressed at his foresight and wished he'd thought of the same thing. But it was too late now.
"I think she spent it on me." Tex told Mike with a grin.
"$1800, do I hear any more bids?" Nika asked the crowd, she felt sweat roll down her back between her shoulder blades as she already counted how much money they'd raised just in the Bachelor auction so far and she was greedy for more. She'd spent four weeks putting the event together with her co-workers, she had to make a lot of doe eye looks, shed tears, and lay down so many sad stories to get all the items on bid and the volunteers from the Nathan James hadn't been easy. But luckily she was good at poker and was happy to clear some debts for bachelors. The hardest to get was Captain Chandler, the man was a celebrity and she'd made a few calls to a few interested parties to make sure he pulled in the highest amount of money. She idly wondered if that made her a pimp.
"Going once, going twice..." She dragged out the seconds and then announced "Sold!" to the crowd. "Let's thank our Aussie bloke for his time and bring out our second last Bachelor of the evening." she announced to the crowd.
She looked over her shoulder making sure Wolf was off the stage before she continued. "Now, this man was the right hand man to Captain Thomas Chandler. He is now the Captain of the Nathan James. Welcome to the stage Captain Michael Slattery!" Nika said, she turned and the music started to play overhead.
Mike walked onto the stage, his cheeks burning as he heard the catcalls and cheering. He now understood what it was like to be female in this regard. Not that he'd ever disrespect a woman like this but he felt like a piece of meat as Nika gave a run down about where he was born, his hobbies and then she made a lewd Navy reference. He wore his best 'I'm not impressed' look as he stood at the end of the stage and folded his arms looking out into the crowd daring them to think he'd make a good date for Valentine's day.
"Oh my, the XO looks pissed." Kara said with a chuckle as Mike was not in the spirit of the event but it didn't seem to affect the energy of the room as bidding started at the far side of the room. The others were laughing behind their hands afraid the X.O. could see them through the blinding stage lights.
"$500." Andrea called out, those at their table looked at her.
"Didn't you buy a date with Tex?" Val asked Andrea a little confused as the bidding continued around them. Apparently Mike's lack of enthusiasm was a winner with the women in the crowd and a couple men.
"What? I can't have two dates?" Andrea deadpanned which shut Val up as she really had no response. The others couldn't help but smile as Andrea raided her hand again making yet another bid.
"You've got a fight on your hands." Kat remarked as a redhead on the other side of the room made another bid.
"Well, I only have $200 left in my reserve." Andrea said as Mike only gave her so much money to spend on him. "$1850" Andrea called out. She couldn't help but smile as Mike was standing there sweating bullets and looking like he was ready to run for the hills. The woman on the other side of the room raised her bid.
"$2200, have a missed any other bidders out there?" Nika asked the crowd, Mike was pretty sure he was developing an ulcer and wondering if he could just write a cheque for a higher amount buying himself out. He didn't think he'd garner much attention let alone the amount so idiot was handing over for an evening with him. He felt sorry for the woman bidding on him as he considered himself married to Christine for life. He only agreed to it for Charity and to get Nika off his back as the woman took nagging to a whole new level.
"Come on ladies, this fine Sailor is only going let me auction him once." Nika told the crowd, Mike waited but no one produced a higher bid which Mike didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. "Ok, going once, going twice...Sold!" Nika announced and Mike left the stage as he didn't need to be applauded for being there. He'd just have to negotiate with whoever bought him that he'd reimburse them for their donation and save them both a very awkward evening.
He stalked out the back feeling relieved that his part of the evening being sold off like a prized stud was over. The only silver lining he'd found so far was that he had the highest bid of the night which only be out done by Tom. The man was going draw a lot of money in from the sheer fact he was the visible face of the Nathan James. He had his face painted on walls.
"Not too bad, Mike and you thought you weren't attractive." Tom joked, Mike quirked an eyebrow at him as they both didn't need to talk of such things.
"I didn't see you even spare a smile. Goes to prove that Tall, dark and brooding wins." Tex joked.
"I wasn't brooding and I definitely wasn't going to shake my ass like a two bit stripper." Mike grouched in good humour.
"Yet, someone still was interested." Tex pointed out, they stopped for a moment listening to Nika stir the crowd with describing Tom as the Nathan James' Captain like he were a romance story hero.
"My turn." Tom said as he reluctantly pushed off where he was leaning against and headed out onto stage.
TBC!