*I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTORS IN THIS STORY THEY ARE OWNED BY STEVEN MOFFET, MARK GATEISS AND ARE BASIED ON THE WORKS OF AURTHER CONAN DOYAL. *

Chapter One: "Yoo-hoo"

"What the hell do you mean she's not dead!? Sherlock if you're doing this because you're bored, brother or no, I will find you and I will slap you senseless" shouted Mycroft Holmes down his mobile. He looked around to find himself still in one of the lounges of the Diogenes club. Taking in a deep breath, he apologised to the other members. Who unlike him were sat in silence, which is a tradition of the Diogenes. Walking down the hall to his privet room he placed the phone back to his ear. "Sherlock, what are you talking about? Irene Adler is dead. Yes I told John to tell you otherwise, but she is dead. I made sure it was her myself…"

"Yourself? Since when did you become a pathologist brother?"

"Sherlock don't be petty! She is dead." Mycroft sighed as he poured his brandy and continued talking as he did so. Phone pressed to his ear by his shoulder Mr Holmes spoke of all the ways he knew that the woman was dead. He was cut off by the clicking tone as his younger brother hung up. Mycroft had known that Sherlock had grown close to her. To what extent he did not know after all this was Sherlock Holmes the Virgin and she affectingly called him. It was then that his phone beeped. Upon unlocking it came an email from his dear brother containing an image that made the whole world seem to stop. There was Irene Adler getting into a blue convertible Jaguar outside of 221B Baker Street plain as day.

He was straight onto the phone with the top agents of MI6, MI5, the FBI and the CIA. Meetings where set up and surveillance of the highest level ordered. Irene Adler was once again number one on his hit list.

Sherlock sat down with a smirk knowing exactly what his brother would be doing. It was amazing the trouble one woman could cause in a matter of minutes. His smirk grew into a smile when he received a message from his dear brother:

Why is she back Sherlock? How? – Mycroft

She didn't say. – SH

What exactly did she say? – Mycroft

She didn't. – SH

Sherlock don't make me order you. – Mycroft

Sherlock picked up his phone and called his royalist of a brother. "I'd like to see you try Mycroft." He snarled down the receiver as his brother answered.

"I want to know how she can still be alive." He shouted

"I'm assuming that you're not in the Diogenes brother. You could be thrown out for that volume. And anyway you and John said she was in America."

A sigh came down the phone. "It was you." Mycroft felt like screaming. Another thing to add to the long list of reasons to 'get rid' of Sherlock. "….." He had no idea what to say next and he didn't have to think much longer as the click of the phone hanging up sounded.

The smile faded from Sherlock's face at the realisation that she was back. He had to admit that his brother was right to question her arrival. All she had done was turn up to baker street, sit in his flat waiting for him to come back and then go when he came. Not saying a single word, not even to Mrs Hudson, who hadn't know she had been in the house. The window? She seems to like those. Must be one of her 'things' as she would put it. Sherlock took up his violin and began to pluck it absentmindedly as he entered his mind palace.

The room that had her name above it was so much different to all of the others. There were only two rooms that where always locked in there. One belonged to her and the other to a Miss Molly Hooper, who was soon to be Mrs Rowland. Molly's room had a new lock on it, two to be exact. He rarely entered it anymore. When he stayed with her he learned who she really was and he gave her a larger room than before with a lock to restrain himself from going in to often.

Irene's on the other hand was far different to her's. Molly's was decorated like an up market hotel, cream and blue prints covered the main wall where the fire place sat. Its roaring flames giving off a golden glow that filled the room reflecting of very piece of gilding on the books to the mirrors. It was so inviting, sometimes when he was out in Eastern Europe, he would lay were he could for the night and imagine he was there. Just sat there. But Irene's room was so very different. Dark purple, almost black, wallpaper covered all of the walls, the furniture was the exact same as Molly's with its plush stuffing except the woman's was rose red compared to the white gold and blue coloured ones in Molly's.

He slowly turn the lock on Irene's door and walked in. There she sat up on an exact copy of his leather chair in the middle of the room. Everything had been moved to a side. How did she do that? It was his bloody mind palace not her's. He took a step closer and the room elongated, with every step he took she went further back. It was only when he gave in and turned to the door again he felt her arms around him. "You're not going to leave me now are you?"

Her voice was as smooth as cream. His body turned against his will. There it was. Her smirk that made her eyes glow with mischief. "Why are you here Irene?" it sounded more like a statement than a question. There again it was possibly the only way you could get her to do anything if you talked to her like that.

"This is my room."

"Irene, I mean it why are you here? Why are you back in London?" he suddenly wished he was back in Molly's room. He wished to be sat with her and even with that annoying ginger cat of her's. Irene's smirk grew.

"Telling you would be playing fair." She held her mobile in her hand and shuck it once or twice slowly. He felt distant and the sound of Mrs Hudson's "yoo-hoo" brought him back. His eyes flu open.

"Your phone was beeping" smile Mrs Hudson as she placed his cup of tea on the table beside him.

"Two messages?" he frowned.

"What dearie?"

"Nothing." 'Two messages?' he thought as he unlocked it. One from Molly and One from Irene. He didn't bother deleting Irene's number. Sherlock had had a feeling she would come back one day. He opened Irene's first though it was Molly's that was at the top.

Telling would be playing fair – IA

Molly's message was far more interesting and more precious. She never text him anymore. 'To busy being Tom's fiancé' he thought he was even considering not answering, but that would be idiotic.

Can you ring the home number please? Get me out of here Holmes. I'm going to kill him. – Molly x

If you kill him…can I use him for experiments? – SH

You do that already remember? "It was an experiment to see the effect of the drug Mrs Ferns used on her husband constantly. He's dead and Mike said no like John and Greg…." – Molly x

And? He was fine. – SH

Please Sherlock just do it. – Molly x

Fine – SH

Picking up the house phone he deled her number, which he knew off by heart, for work reasons of cause. "Hello."

"What do you want?" Snarled Tom.

"Now. Now Tom play nice for Molly's sake." Holmes couldn't help but smirk.

"She's not here…"

Sherlock cut him off straight away. "Yes she is Tom I can hear in the background. Less that's some other young woman in your living room. You have no sisters and no extended family, and your female friends I know. So in less you're cheating on her. Which would be a very stupid thing to do when I'm involved. Now. Put. Her. On." Holmes couldn't stand him at the best of times.

"Look you….. Hello? Sherlock…." Molly had snatched the phone from her fiancé "Sherlock what did you want?"

"Need some things from Bart's. Could you?"

"That's why you called?"

"Yes why?"

"Fine, but next time text. And do you always have to get him fired up?" She was good at this. In fact very good at this.

"He'd get jealous. Are you doing this because you're bored Molly?"

"Shut up. And no he wouldn't. Tom knows that the only reason you call or text is for work."

"Well let me tell him that then. Put it on speaker-phone."

"If you promise to be nice."

"Aren't I always?" he smirked at her sigh as she click the button for speaker-phone. "Right, Tom listen to me. The only reason why I ring or text Molly is about work. However if you continue to be jealous or suspicious I think I may have to have an affair with Molly just to settle your mind. After all I know she wants me and who can blame her."

"SHERLOCK! You know what I'm not going to help you tonight or the whole of this week!" she growled down the phone. "Apologize NOW! Sherlock."

He couldn't hold in the laughter. "Fine. I'm so dreadfully sorry Tom. It was in terribly bad taste of me to say such a thing. I…." a growl came down the phone and then he was cut off as Molly ended the call.

Still laughing Sherlock put the phone back in the stand and sat back down. He was still chuckling when John and Mary reappeared.

"What are you laughing at?" asked Mary with amusement. She hadn't seen Sherlock laugh like that in a long time.

"Molly Hooper." He smile "Well Molly and Tom" snarled at that name.

"Oh god what have you done to them now?"

"Him."

"No, Sherlock. Them, you piss off Tom which you always do, they have a fight and she gets upset….."

"She started it."

"What?"

"She told me to ring and annoy him because she was sick of him and being bored."

"Wow. She's good." Laughed Mary as she sat down.

"Sorry." Now John was really lost and it seemed that now Sherlock was going the same way. Sherlock saying that Molly was bored and wanted an argument with Tom. He didn't want to think about it really. If it was anything like what he and Mary did after a fight he really really didn't want know. Though was she really that desperate?

"Oh, you two will never cess to amaze me when it comes to you and understanding us women. I'm surprised you haven't notice Sherlock. There again you have the case of 'the woman's return' to deal with…"

Sherlock had totally forgotten about Irene Adler.

"…shall I tell you what you missed Sherlock?"

"Missed? Missed what?"

Mary sighed and went on to explain that Molly wanted rid of Tom and the best way to do that is get Holmes involved. Hoping Tom would get too jealous and leave her. Both men just looked at her blankly as if she was specking in another language.

"Wait. Why do you think I'm interested in Irene Adler?" He said with a furrowed brow. For the rest of the day he pondered whether he was bothered about Irene at all. She hadn't changed at all, clearly she liked been the centre of attention still. And Molly, why would she get him involved and why did he agree to get involved in something like that?