Disclaimer: I don't own KHR and I don't wish to (not exactly). Though I wouldn't mind owning the publishing company so that I could have an advanced copy. =)
Unspoken
Tsuna must have put a great deal of thought when he designed the base. But he could have at least included some magazines in the reference room or at least books with illustration in them. Assassinations and their Relevance to the World is not as interesting as the title seems.
It's Friday night and I'm sitting across Gokudera in the reference room. Tsuna and the girls went out for dinner. We were invited to join them but Gokudera refused and I decided to go along with him. That seems to be happening a lot more often lately. That's kind of unusual for Gokudera considering how devoted he is to Tsuna.
Right now he's just looking through agent's reports regarding the Giglio Nero family's activities. We may have changed the future but the Giglio Nero family's movements are still being monitored closely. Especially now when we're nearing the 10 year mark.
Hmmm…I wish he'd tie his hair back. It looks so much better that way.
This must be the third time I thought that. There's nothing interesting to look at in the reference room apart from Gokudera. Gokudera's always interesting to look at. Mesmerizing too.
His pale skin looks so soft and so does his hair. He's grown it a little longer these past few years and it looks absolutely gorgeous. His eyes are downcast as he looks at the reports but I can remember them clearly enough. I should since I could never take mine off them. His fingers are long and slender; totally not like mine. I can never understand how he manages that when he works with so much dynamite. He sure can do a lot of things with those hands.
I can feel my face heating up. I just remembered how useful those hands of his really are.
Haha, I think I just got caught because the next second he comes at me with a "What are you staring at, baseball-freak?!"
"Maa, maa, calm down, Gokudera. I wasn't thinking anything. Really."
"Normally, that wouldn't be unlike you but the blush gives you away, idiot!"
"Then you already know what I'm thinking about, right?" I reach out and tuck his hair behind his ear, leaning over across the table to reach him. I move in closer and start kissing him. He resists me at first. He always does, but it's only a matter of time…and technique.
I start with his lower lips. Biting it teasingly and running my tongue over it. Next, his upper lip. I lightly tug at them and slip my tongue between his lips. I could feel his gritted teeth. I explore his mouth slowly, waiting for access. Seconds later I'm granted my wish and he's kissing me back. This is also the time that my mind goes blank and everything runs on instinct. Gods! Just his kisses are already mind-blowing.
I'm starting to run out of breath and I reluctantly pull away. I'm already way too excited. It's time to take this to the next level.
I whisper in his ear. "Hayato, come on over here."
--x--X--x--
"Hayato, come on over here."
Fuck! I knew it was gonna come to this. Whenever we're alone together it almost always ends up with us screwing around. He's kissing me again; slowly pulling back so that I have to slowly get up and lean over to continue the kiss. I should stop right now but I can't. What the hell does this bastard eat? He tastes so sweet like fruit wine. I wish I'd popped some mints before this. I must taste like cigarettes.
I'm already on my feet and leaning over as much as I can but he's still not letting go. He's got his hand on my nape. What does he want? Does he fucking think I'm climbing on top of the table?! Wrong question. Of course he does!
"Naa, Hayato. Come to me already. I'm sure you want this." He starts to kiss my neck. Light, soft kisses that trail down my neck to the top of my chest. He goes back up again and runs his tongue behind my ear. Shit! I'm really weak to this and he knows it. I can start to feel my resolve (and my knees) start to give way.
His kisses must really be laced with wine because I start feeling intoxicated enough to climb on top of the table to get to him. Before long I'm already kneeling on the table in front of him. He standing now and looking up at me. He smiles at me and says "Good, now leave everything to me."
His hands make quick work of my suit. My jacket's already discarded on the table. My shirt's half open and stripped down to my elbows. I can't move but I think that's the whole point. I can feel his eyes moving through my whole body like a caress. He starts by running his hands over my neck, my shoulder and my chest. His thumb is covering my nipple, moving it in circles. I could feel my whole body stiffen. His mouth closes over the other one doing with his tongue what his thumb is. His other hand moves down and grabs between my legs. He pulls and squeezes while his mouth works on my chest. Sucking, licking, kissing and leaving burst of red marks all over.
I bite down on my lower lip, stifling a moan. My erection's becoming painfully hard. He notices this and smirks. He even has the guts to smirk at me at a time like this! He's gonna get it from me later.
"I'll make you feel even better." His hands are already fumbling with my belt buckle and unzipping my pants as he says this. Dragging down my pants, my erection comes into full view, fluids dripping down its length from excitement. His hand grabs my balls and I bite down harder to control the sound. "Every part of you is simply gorgeous, Hayato."
"Just fucking get along with it!!!"
I couldn't control it and a gasp escapes my lips as his mouth closes around shaft. Fuck His mouth is so hot. His tongue moves (excruciatingly) slowly up and down its length. If I didn't have my hands bound I'm not sure I could have stopped myself from forcing him down. He then starts to suck me, taking in the full length and then withdrawing until only the tip remains in. When he reaches the tip he gives an extra strong suck and his tongue explores its very top. "Sto –s-stop! If you don't…I'm-I'm g-gonna…"
"Just come as much as you want." He doesn't stop and even increases the tempo. His tongue is moving all over it like tracing intricate patterns. And his hand is, all the while, fondling its base. I can't hold on.
This is the result of years of screwing experience. He knows just how to drive me over the edge.
--x--X--x--
It's still late. The sky's dark outside and the clock reads 1 in the morning. Gokudera's expression when he comes is just so sexy that just once isn't enough. After that one time in the reference room, we drove to his apartment (it's nearer) and didn't finishing screwing until just an hour before.
Sex with him feels even more amazing than the first time we did it. The more we do it, the more I want to do it over and over. I look over at him. He's sleeping soundly and I can't help but smile stupidly. I'm sure if he saw me now he'd say "What are you looking at, baseball freak?!" again. I wonder if he did, would we do it all over again? Makes me almost want to wake him up.
But no, moments like these are becoming much rarer lately and it's better to treasure them. We've been getting even busier because it's almost 10 years since the rings battle with the Varia. It should almost be the time that the battle with the Millefiore should be taking place.
Gokudera's been running himself ragged monitoring the other families to keep Tsuna safe. Though Gokudera's been spending less of his free time with Tsuna, his devotion is still intact. Over the years respect and loyalty to the boss has changed from sudden loud outbursts to a quiet but intense sentiment. Sometimes I wonder if loyalty and respect is all there really is to it.
Gokudera has always shown his feelings for Tsuna but I've never been clear about how he feels about me, about us. Tch! He has never even once called out my name in the middle of doing it.
I can't believe I'm actually getting jealous of Tsuna! The guy doesn't even have any idea what's going on. Sigh, being with Gokudera is really messing me up. And all this thinking is making my head hurt.
Moonlight is playing on Gokudera's face and I'm again reminded of how beautiful he really is. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer, burying my face in his hair. I kiss him lightly and close my eyes. Thinking is best left to people smarter than me. Right now I just want to hold him close just because I can.
--x--X--x--
When I wake up, he's already gone. My whole backside feels like hell but I get up anyway. My throat is parched and the need for a drink actually overrides the pain.
Even before entering the kitchen, I can already smell coffee. On the table was toast with scrambled eggs and bacon. Coffee was brewing in the coffee maker. Beside the food is a note.
"Remember to eat breakfast and take it easy today"
He always does this – preparing breakfast and writing a note along with it. I pour myself coffee but leave the food alone. The way I'm feeling right now anything he made would taste worst than ash. Somehow that's the impression I get when I eat food while feeling guilt. Better to just take a smoke and that's what I do.
Returning to the room, I head over to the desk and pull open the drawer. I know it's here. The drawer is filled with documents on the Allied Families but I take them all out until I reach the bottom.
There it is -- a simple box that used to hold chocolates. Inside are numerous rings, watches, even ties and cologne. And surrounding all of these are notes. Hundreds upon hundreds of little pieces of paper with messages scribbled on them. Every single note Yamamoto has ever written since we started perpetuating this mistake we call a relationship. Shit! I never realized just how many they've become. I add the latest one and shoved the box back into the drawer.
Yamamoto doesn't know I keep that box with everything he's ever given to me. It not like I'm hiding it. If Yamamoto ever saw it he would think that it was sweet, like I was saving up all his gifts. But that's not the case really.
I'm keeping them all safe because they don't belong to me. I don't own those things. Not really. More like they are on loan to me; on loan to me from the person Yamamoto will eventually come to realize he deserves.
I'm keeping them because someday I'm going to have to return all these things to that person. Because when Yamamoto chose me he had settled for fucked-up shit. He might not know it now but I do. One day he'll wake up and realize that he doesn't deserve this and he'll look for someone else. Anyone but fucked-up shit.
Damn it.
Writer's note:
This was written for a friend who requested angst and smut, who never even considered that I don't know how to write smut.
Me: "You want me to write angst and smut! But I don't know how to write SMUT! Angst, maybe, but SMUT?!"
Anyway, this is supposed to be a 2 part story, but I want to hear what you (the readers) think. If a lot of people think it sucks and ought to be burned and buried, then consider it done. =)