A/N: Hey fellow Pan Am fans! After Pan Am being gone for about 5 months I've decided to upload some of my writing. Ever since November I've been writing Dean/Colette fics on the side, I've decided to upload some and share. This is my first fanfic so if I get some reviews I'll continue with it. It's going to be a quick, short story; two chapters. Reviews are always welcomed!
xG
PS. If there are any Castle fans I added a Casketty touch at the end, props to Mike Royce. If only.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pan Am or direct it or anything like that. However, I wish I did so I could put it back on air!
Enjoy!
She walked into her dark and empty apartment. So much had occurred in the past 48 hours; Bridgett's return, her planned surprise for Dean their night after Barefoot in the Park, and then suddenly they were done. She pulled out two crumbled up Beatles tickets that were supposed to be for her and Dean in row 3C, section H. It was supposed to be the best night of their lives; they were going to remember that night for the rest of their lives. Colette took off her blue Pan Am stewardess hat and bag and dropped it on the closest chair and went to change out of her uniform. She put on a pair of comfortable pants and an old Irish sweater that she had gotten from her first trip to Ireland years ago.
The night was gloomy and it was pouring buckets outside, to lighten up the mood she decided to put on some music, but that didn't help since what she had playing was the latest record that Dean had gotten for her by The Beatles. She left it on though and reached underneath her bed to pull out a silly shoe box that contained multiple items that Dean and Colette had collected over the course of their relationship. There were pictures that they took with the camera they had gotten together on their trip to Italy of them sleeping and being silly, there was Colette's recipe for her Tarte Tartin, and a silly bracelet Dean made for her out of little flowers they found when they were walking through Central Park one day. Their relationship had developed so much over the course of just three months. Soon she felt her cheeks getting wet and her eyes burning. What had she done? She placed the tickets into the box along with the rest of the memorabilia she had taken out. She got up, turned off the record player and slipped on a pair of riding boots. It was pouring outside and all Colette could think about was being wrapped up in Dean's strong arms, she then hailed a cab and told the cabbie to step on it. She was headed towards Dean's apartment.
When she got to the apartment building she took a deep breath and waved at the doorman, he recognized her from the many times that she had gone to visit Dean. She made her way to the elevator and lightly pressed the call button. All she could think of was: what if Dean was in the elevator coming down? Was Dean home? If so, was he with Bridgett? There were so many thoughts going through her mind that she didn't realize that the elevator had gotten to the lobby. The elevator ride was probably the longest elevator ride that Colette had ever taken in her life time. As she made her way towards Dean's tenth floor apartment she started to freak. What are you doing here Colette? He obviously doesn't love you. He cheated on you! You're noting going to talk to him, are you? Colette thought to herself. Once she finished asking herself all those questions she found herself in front of Dean's apartment. At least write a note, she thought. She took out a pen and a napkin that she found in her purse and wrote:
I really hate to leave you like this Dean, but I can't let myself get hurt again. I've been trying to find a way to tell you this but, I love you. I really do Dean, more than I have loved anybody else in my lifetime. It truly pains me to leave you like this, I am terribly sorry I'm not telling you this in person, but I can't bring myself to tell you this personally and face you without wanting to start crying and sobbing right in front of you. Inside the box is the secret that you had waiting for you in London. It expired already, I'm sorry Dean. I love you. I just can't be in the middle of all of this. If you need me I'm being asked to be transported to the Hong Kong hub.
Yours truly,
Colette.
She folded the note and wrote his name in her neat script handwriting, kissed it as if she were kissing Dean Goodbye, and left the note along with their box in front of his apartment for it to be found by him. She got up from the floor and wiped her tears away. She walked with her chin up and shoulders back out of the apartment building. She was strong and had learned how to handle heartbreak, but this was different; she felt a need to seem even more strong and powerful than what she already was. When Colette made her way outside she hailed a cab and told the cabbie a random address that first came to her mind. About ten minutes later she was standing at Kate's door waiting for her to answer.
"Colette! What are you doing here?" Laura asked in surprise as she opened the door, "You're soaked come on in! What brings you here?"
"It's a long story, but basically I came from Dean's apartment. Wait why are you here?" Colette asked.
"Maggie had some company if you know what I mean," there was an awkward pause between the girls and Colette started to giggle for the first time in what felt like years, "Oh gosh! Come on in, Kate is not going to be home tonight I'll get you some of Kate clothes. Talk to me, what happened?" Laura nudged
Colette started explaining to Laura how she and Dean have been in a relationship since their stop in Palm Beach after Haiti and her visit to Dean's parent's farm.
"Back at Dean's family's farm his father kept bringing up the topic of Bridgett and thought that I was Bridgett. It was really awkward during dinner because his dad kept asking what happened to her. I, being myself of course, ran and left the room and I found myself in the barn. Dean came in after about ten minutes and we fought about our relationship and what we were and how I wasn't really sure if I wanted to continue this relationship because of Bridgett and he said that she wasn't real and that I was and basically said that he loved me. We kissed and kissed… it became pretty intimate and romantic," Colette finished with a slight smile on her face and she felt her cheeks start to get warm.
"No! You had it with Dean! I knew it! Ha! I'm so telling Maggie, fifty dollars here I come!" Laura shouted.
"You had a bet! I can't believe this! You guys are so immature!" Colette said.
"So if you and Dean feel like that about each other, then why are you here soaked in Kate's apartment?" Laura asked.
"Well, tonight we came back from London and so much happened there. Bridgett showed up out of the blue and decided to surprise us. To make a long story short I told Dean that I couldn't be in the middle of this love triangle and I broke up with him. I can't believe that I did this! I love him Laura!" Colette paused to gather herself before she started crying on Laura's shoulder, "We had this box of memorabilia," Colette said slowly, "that we collected over the three months that we were together like pictures of each other, recipes that we came up with together, and other stuff like that. When we went to London I had tickets to go see the Beatles, but it was after we broke up and I didn't go. I added those in and left him a note saying that I would be getting transferred to the Hong Kong hub upon request. I left that in front of his door and came here."
"Oh my gosh Colette, you poor thing! Come here!" Laura said and gave her friend a well-deserved hug. Once she let go of her heartbroken friend she looked at her in the eyes and said, "Colette, you are one of my closest friends and I love you very much, but sweetie, go back and say what you said to me to Dean, tell him that you love him and want him back!"
"Laura I can't! I just can't!" Colette protested.
"Nope, you have to go!" Laura ordered as she pushed Colette out of Kate's apartment, "Go get him!" she added as she gave her friend one last hug.
Colette stood facing Kate's door deciding what she should do; go home and wonder if only all her life or get the love of her life back. It was clear that she didn't want to spend her life wondering if only.