Her strawberry blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders in loose curls. Her legs tangled, her ankles crossed, as they dangled over the edge of the porcelain surface. She went through the contacts in her phone, nervously, trying to keep herself busy. She twirled a strand of hair on her pointer finger as she looked around the cramped space. Who ever thought that she'd end up in a bathroom stall alone during her free periods? The speckled walls confined her and she was careful not to put her foot down flat in fear that toilet paper would adhere to the soles. The bell rang in the distance and Haley took this as her cue to head to the tutoring center, the one place she could be safe.
She slowly rose from the closed toilet seat and opened the door carefully. She shuffled nervously out of the lonesome bathroom into the crowded hallways full of staring eyes focused in on the girl who had left everything for her dream. They would whisper as she walked by, rumors swirling around her pretty head. They giggled as they watched her with judgmental eyes and every girl and boy alike wondered how she could ever do such a thing: leave Nathan Scott for some wanna-be rockstar.
She dips her head down and keeps her eyes focused on her shoes, avoiding looking into people's eyes but still able to feel their glares burn through her skin. They pierce her in pairs, two eyes, two burns. She's learned to accept this routine, since she brought it upon herself.
Eyes still focused on the tiled floor, she feels an arm graze her own, something that rarely happens these days since most people keep their distance. She looks up to see who would possibly touch the girl who had ruined his life and sees him. His jet black hair is messy and disheveled, his face has aged since she saw him last. The door had been being slammed in her face at that time and who could blame him? She had done him wrong, and she knew it. He stares at her with fierce green eyes, staring at her angrily before turning his head, giving her his tanned, perfect cheek. She lets her eyes linger on his face a moment and she longs to rub his smooth cheek once again, to kiss his neck and his pink lips until she's forced to stop. But she knows that can't happen. Not yet.
She moves her eyes back onto the tile below her and continues to walk. More stares. More whispers. More rumors that are probably true. You cannot make up the kind of hurt she has inflicted upon him.
The hallway seems to be endless, but she finally reaches the blue door of the tutor room. She isn't sure who she'll be helping today, but she doesn't really care. Anything to keep her busy. Anyone to keep her mind off of him. Anyone who understands.
Instead, she is met by empty tables and a silent room.
She should've known.
She should've known no one wanted to be associated with her.
It didn't matter how well she tutored.
She was the public enemy of Tree Hill High School.
She sinks into a chair slowly. Two days back and she regrets coming home. Two days. Two painful, heartwrenching, sleepless days and nights. She didn't expect to come home to opened arms, no. She only expected to be left alone. But this is worse. Silence would be easier. But instead she has been greeted by unanswered phone calls and rumors that swirl around her like a cold breeze bringing chills to her body. She hugs her knees up to her looking for a sense of protection in the place she calls home, but it is impossible.
She's never felt more alone.
She wants to scream. She wants to cry. She wants to hurt herself in the same way she hurt him. But she can't. She can't find a way to make it all okay. She can't find a way to subside the pain for a minute. His face haunts her dreams. He haunts her hallways. He haunts her classes. She finds herself scribbling his name on her notebook, signing things as Haley James-Scott. But she knows it's just wishful thinking and part of her feels like it will never go back to normal.
Whatever normal was.
Normal was not getting married at seventeen, no. Normal was not having to choose between a concert tour with the Wreckers or your husband, your true love, no. Normal was a boyfriend and having to choose who's car to take on your date that night.
But Haley had rarely known normal. She had only known Tree Hill. She had only known Nathan Scott.
She folds her arms across the circular wooden table and rests her head atop sideways so she is able to look out the window. She hopes that he'll walk by so she can just glance at him. If he can't see her, he can't burn her with grassy eyes. He will just walk to his car calmly and she'll be able to see the boy she's been in love with ever since she met.
But he won't have it. He loves her, she loves him, but he will not hurt again.
She needs to run away from everything, if only for a short while. Yes, she's only been back for two days, but it feels like an eternity is this prison-like town. A town she used to love.
She finds herself walking zombie-like through the doors of the tutor center and across the quad. The gym doors seem to scream her name and she finds herself shortly reaching for the cold metal handle to lead her inside. The doors seem less inviting than they had when she had come to Nathan's basketball games, but she enters anyway. She knows that this is not her territory, it is his, but she wants to be close to him, and this is the only way.
She walks into the dark gymnasium, the only bands of light formed on the waxy floors due to the high windows. She stands in the middle and pivots slowly. The silence scares her yet makes her feel welcomed. She's never seen it like this, so quiet and tranquil, but she doesn't mind the change. Everything seems to be changing, and this is a welcoming change. She lays across the center circle of the court with her arms and legs laying limply around her.
She closes her eyes and tries to remember a time where basketball was the most important thing in the life of a teenager at Tree Hill High. She welcomes thoughts of nights alone with Lucas playing mini-golf on the roof of Karen's Cafe. She yearns to go back to when tutoring Nathan meant nothing and he gave her reasons for not wanting to be around him. She wants back those moments, but she will never have them. All she'll have is memories and a gold ring that she keeps with her at all times.
She hears the creaking of the door, but doesn't open her eyes. Light floods in from the sunny outdoors, but it escapes quickly with the closing of the door. She hears rubber footsteps coming toward her, screeching with each step, but she pretends she's dreaming. She slows her breathing down and tries not to move.
She feels a body lie next to her, but she doesn't flinch. A small rough tress of hair pokes her cheek and she tries not to flinch, but she can't help it. She opens her eyes to see the boy sitting next to her. He isn't Nathan, but did she expect it to be?
His blonde hair is messy, but not in the dishevled way Nathan's has been. His blue eyes are electric while Nathan's are calming. He silently reaches for her hand and holds it tightly, reassuringly. She feels a tear roll down her cheek slowly and he reaches to wipe it. He gracefully swipes it and watches it evaporate into the still air of the gym.
They lay in silence while he grasps her hand. It is not the same type of love that brings these two together that brought her and Nathan together. It is a love that has withstood everything for years. Tough boyfriends, tours, love triangles, deaths, and high school. It is the hand that is familiar to her. She's held it on scary rollercoasters and while he had taught her to skate. His skin is rougher than Nathan's, but still inviting. It has always invited her. It always will.
She lets another tear roll and reaches for it before she thinks Lucas can see, but he does anyway.
"It's all gonna be okay," he assures her softly. "It's gonna be alright in the end. I promise."