For the widows in Paradise, a gilmore girls fanfic

For the widows in Paradise, for the fatherless in Ypsilanti

"Lorelai, this thing we're doing here... me, you... I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in. Does that, uh... are you, uh, scared?"

Lorelai studied him for a moment, waiting for that familiar feeling of 'wow, back up a little, this is too much' to arrive. But it didn't come. And, somehow, she knew it wouldn't. This was different. This was Luke, her Luke, her coffee-providerfixer-of-everything-brokencatcher-of-Stella friend-and-so-much-more Luke.

Slowly she raised her eyes until they met his, and smiled.

"No, I'm not scared." She said, catching a look of surprise on his face for a split second before it was replaced by relief. "Does that surprise you?"

"No, no, I just... I don't know what I was expecting, really. I just needed to get that out there." He replied. "I guess I basically just hoped you wouldn't run screaming out the door."

"Not gonna happen."

"No?" She shook her head at his question.

"No."

"Good." He said, nodding.

"Good." She agreed, looking down at her hands for a moment. When she looked back up at him, she realized they were only inches apart. Without thinking about it, she ran her tongue over her lips, wetting them for the kiss she knew would come. As he closed the space between them, she closed her eyes.

This kiss was nothing like the kisses they had shared on the porch to the Dragonfly almost two months earlier. Those kisses had been insecure, testing. This kiss was slow and sensual, they took their time exploring each other. As their tongues met and slowly battled, Lorelai snuck one hand around Luke's neck, pulling him closer to her. He responded by letting the hand that had been resting on the seat between them run slowly up her leg until it came to rest at her waist.

"Break it up, kids, this is a classy establishment for Christ's sake!" At the sound of Maisy's voice, they jumped apart. "Really, Lucas, save it for later, and let the poor girl get a chance to eat."

Luke looked up at Lorelai and mouthed a silent 'sorry' to her, but she just smiled back.

"Thanks, Maisy, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along." She said, shooting Luke a teasing look. He rolled his eyes at her, focusing on the food Maisy had just put down in front of him.

"And this is..." He asked, getting an offended scoff from Maisy.

"You don't recognize your favourite food anymore, Lucas?" She replied, puttinganother plate in front of Lorelai.

"When has this ever been my favourite food?" Luke eyed the plate suspiciously.

"It's chicken and mashed potatoes, Luke." Lorelai offered across the table, getting the evil eye from Luke.

"I know what it is." He said sarcastically.

"You used to love this when you were a little boy, Lucas, but if you don't want it I'll get you something else." Maisy said in the tone that Luke could never argue with.

"No, Maisy, this is great." He said, sounding anything but happy about it. Maisy seemed to settle for it, though.

"Have a nice dinner." She told them before leaving their table.

"We will." Lorelai called after her before studying her food. "What is this?"

"I think it's veal." Luke concluded after a few moments. "And those are vegetables, in case you've forgotten what they look like." He pointed to an assortment of cooked carrots, string beans and cauliflower.

"I do know what vegetables look like." Lorelai sarcastically replied. "I just don't want to eat them." She looked from her plate to Luke's and back again. "Switch with me?"

"What?" Luke asked in surprise. "We can't just switch food like that."

"Why not? You're not gonna eat that, and I'm sure as hell not eating these vegetables, so let's switch." Lorelai insisted. Luke looked over towards the entrance, where Maisy was welcoming a group of girls. Hesitating for a moment, he made up his mind.

"OK, we'll switch." He handed Lorelai his plate and took hers instead. "But eat fast, so she doesn't notice."

"You've known me for eight years, when have I ever not eaten fast?"

"Good point."

The drive back to Stars Hollow was made in silence, until they passed the 'Welcome to Stars Hollow' sign.

"So... coffee?" Lorelai suggested, not wanting the night to end just yet.

Luke let out a breath of relief. He hadn't been sure about whether she'd want him to just drive her home or not.

"Sure." He replied, turning onto Main Street and stopping in front of the diner. It was well after ten, so the town square and streets around it were abandoned which they were both thankful for.

Luke turned off the ignition and got out of the car, walking around it to open Lorelai's door.

"Thank you." She said as he helped her out of the car, which was of course completely unnecessary. He didn't release her hand when she was safely on the ground, instead he held onto it as they walked up the steps to the diner.

Unlocking the door, Luke let Lorelai go inside first before he followed her, locking the door behind them. For a moment he thought about closing the blinds, but he didn't want Lorelai to think he expected anything. Because he didn't. Wanted, sure, but he didn't expect anything.

Lorelai had gone straight to the counter and was now sitting on a stool.

"You promised me coffee." She said, giving him her best puppy eyes.

"Actually, you brought up the coffee." Luke corrected her, going behind the counter.

"Yeah, well, you have to make it for me." She replied.

"You can go behind the counter, you know." He told her, instantly regretting it when he saw her eyes light up.

"Really?" She asked, hopping off the stool and walking around the counter.

"Only when there's no one else in here." Luke hurried to add, and Lorelai shrugged.

"Good enough for me." She said, getting the coffee out from the cabinetwhere she knew Luke kept it. She started pouring coffee into the filter of the coffee maker, and Luke raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"Are you sure you want it that strong?" He asked. "You'll be up all night." At the smile that started spreading on her face, he knew he had said something he'd regret.

"Oh, I plan on it." She told him, giving him a look that told him exactly what she meant.

"Jeez, Lorelai." He replied, feeling his face grow warmer.

"What?" She asked, turning the coffee maker on and taking a few steps closer to him. "You're trying to say that you haven't thought about it?"

"No, I didn't mean that... just... do you have to be so blunt about it?" Lorelai could tell that he was uncomfortable in the situation, but decided to let him suffer a little longer.

"I thought that was what you liked about me?" She asked in an innocent voice, slowly removing her jacket as she spoke.

"I do, I just..." He looked up at her and caught the teasing smile on her face. "And you're just playing with me."

"Took you long enough." She replied, closing the last of the distance between them and pulling him down into a kiss.

It didn't take him long to respond by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer.

Both of them forgetting where they were for the moment, they didn't come up for air until several minutes had passed. Realising they were still in the diner, Lorelai looked out the window, half expecting Babette, Patty and Kirk to be plastered to it. But the street outside was as deserted as it had been when they got there.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs before we have an uninvited audience?" She suggested, and Luke nodded agreeingly. She let him lead the way up the stairs, completely forgetting about the coffee.

When he closed the door to the apartment behind them, Lorelai started wandering around. Luke took his jacket off and dropped it on a chair in the kitchen, watching Lorelai explore the apartment.

"Hey, you have a CD player." She announced, finding the small boombox in the kitchen. "And CD's! You never cease to amaze me."

"I do listen to music every now and then, you know." Luke said dryly.

"Wow." Lorelai said, her back to him. "I never pictured you as the Sufjan Stenevs kinda guy." She turned around with Michigan in her hands.

"Oh, those aren't mine, Jess left them and I just listened to them one day when I was bored." Luke didn't really know why he was defending himself. True, the CD's were Jess', but he listened to them sometimes. Heck, he even liked some of the songs.

"This has some pretty good ones." Lorelai said, looking at the back of the cover. "Hey! You wanna dance?" She put the CD in the player and started it, flipping to the song she wanted.

"But we're in my apartment." Luke argued as the song started.

"So?" Lorelai shrugged, walking across the floor. "You don't wanna dance with me?" She looked up at him, sneaking her arms around his neck. He didn't even bother trying to resist her, and they started moving to the music.

"You actually found my favourite song on the CD." He admitted to her.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I have called you children, I have called you son
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in paradise, morning comes in light
Still I must obey, still I must invite

If there's anything to say
If there's anything to do
If there's any other way

I'll do anything for you

"You know, it reminds me of you?" Luke said.

"The song? Why?" Lorelai asked.

"Because I would."

She stared into his eyes for a moment, then reached up and kissed him. He took the opportunity to pull her closer as the kiss deepend.

I was dressed embarassment I was dressed in whine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?

Like a father to impress, like a mother's morning dress
If I ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you

Lorelai was starting to feel like there were too many clothes separating them, so without breaking the kiss, she let her hands slide down Luke's chest and pulled his shirt from his pants before unbuttoning the buttons. He soon followed her example, pulling her top over her head and disposing it somewhere in the room. Finishing the last button, Lorelai let his shirt go the same way.

"No fair." She mumbled against his lips as she realized he had a t-shirt on underneath the shirt. Chuckling, he pulled away for a moment, taking the t-shirt off. "Much better." She ran her hands up his now bare chest, feeling goose bumps on his skin. Their lips met again, as Luke picked her up and she wrapper her legs around his waist.

I have called you preacher, I have called you son
If you have a father or if you haven't none

I'll do anything for you

I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you

I'll do anything for you
I did everything for you

I did everything for you,
I did everything for you

I did everything for you.

Lorelai could feel Luke trying to get the clasp of her bra open, and since he was unsuccesful, she reached behind her with one hand and undid it herself before letting the garment fall to the floor. Thankful to be rid of the offending piece of clothing, Luke let one hand travel up Lorelai's side to her breast which he gently squeezed, getting a moan in return. She pulled back from him a little.

"Bed." She mumbled, and he nodded, making his way over to the bed where he pulled the covers down before sitting down on the bed, Lorelai now in his lap. He felt her hands on his chest before she started undoing his belt buckle. "Too many clothes." She announced in frustration. He chuckled a little and stood up, putting Lorelai down on the bed.

He kicked his shoes off, and she did the same. She started unbuttoning her pants, but he reached out to stop her. She seemed to understand, because she pulled her hands back. Slowly, he unbuttoned her pants and then pulled them off, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. He quickly got out of his own pants, dropping them on the floor. She moved over a little, making space for him in the bed.

Without a word, he laid down next to her and pulled the cover up over them. Scooting a little closer, she kissed him, running her tongue over his lower lip. He opened his mouth, welcoming her inside, and pulled her closer. Moaning a little, she draped her leg over his hip, pressing herself against him, and it was his turn to moan. Pulling back a little, he looked at her.

"You know, we don't have to..."

"I think it's a little late for that." She cut him off, pulling him in for another kiss as her hands traveled down his body, pushing his boxer down a little. "Can't reach." She whispered into his mouth, and he pulled the boxers the rest of the way down and off. Now the only thing separating them were her silky underwear, and they quickly went the same way as his boxers.

Satisfied that there were no more obstacles, Luke rolled them over so Lorelai was on her back, himself on top of her. Then she suddenly pushed him away a little, and he looked at her in surprise. Had she changed her mind?

"Do you have... you know?" She asked, giving him a meaning look.

"Oh, of course." He replied, reaching for his pants on the floor. "Good thing one of us is thinking." He joked, pulling out a condom from his pack pocket. Lorelai raised an eyebrow.

"Luke Danes, were you planning to get me in bed?" She asked in a playful voice.

"No, this is just... I thought..." She cut him off with a quick kiss before leaning over to retrieve her own pants, pulling another condom from her pocket.

"Relax." She told him, running her hands up his back to pull him closer for another kiss.

"You just love teasing me, don't you?" Luke mumbled, opening the foil pack and putting the condom on.

"Mmhmm." She agreed, wrapping one leg around him to encourage him, but now it was his turn to hesitate. "What?" She asked. Had he changed his mind?

"Are you completely sure about this?" He asked, staring into her eyes.

"You are seriously asking me this now?" She replied, frowning a little.

"There's no going back after this." He said, and her expression softened.

"Who said anything about going back?" She asked, reaching up to kiss him as her hand made its way between their bodies to guide him inside her.

As he slowly entered her for the first time, their eyes never left each other's

I'll do anything for you