A/N: Okay, so this is my first time writing fic, just keep that in mine while you're reading. I'm sorry if it's terrible. I don't own anything.
She can count on one hand how many times she's seen her husband in tears or close to them in their two decades of marriage.
The first time was after his mother died. Not quite a year into their marriage, she lost her battle with cancer and left Fitz devastated. Several nights a week, early in the morning, Mellie would find him in the corner of their room with a glass of scotch and his mother's old blanket.
"It's okay, you know? To cry, I mean." she told him one night, crouched next to the chair with a gentle hand resting on his knee.
He hadn't said a word, just grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly before placing the now empty glass on the table beside him. Mellie had taken his hand and pulled him to stand, leading him back to the bed and slowly stripped him of his clothes. As he hovered over her, a few tears slipped from his eyes and she pulled him closer to her, hoping to relieve the pain if only for a little while.
The second was after she gave birth to little Jerry. When he held the little blue bundle in his arms and looked down at an exhausted Mellie in the hospital bed with a silly smile on his face and tears in his eyes. "He's perfect." he whispered to her. "You're perfect."
All she'd managed was a small smile and a gentle shake of her head. Seeing Fitz with the baby brought tears to her own eyes and she took a shaky breath when she heard him talking to their son.
"Hey there, buddy. I'm your daddy." he moved closer to the bed, to Mellie, and looked from her to his son. "And that's your mommy." His voice cracked and his expression changed to one of nothing but love. "I know you're gonna love her almost as much as I do."
The third time was a week after Fitz was elected governor. Mellie had decided on a trip back home to North Carolina to visit her parents before her life was turned upside down and she couldn't get away.
She couldn't tell you the exact details herself, she only remembers bits and pieces (most of which other people have told her). From what the doctors said, she was lucky to have even survived the car accident. It'd been storming badly and the rain had made it difficult to see. Her car flipped just a few miles away from her parents' house. They were the ones that found her.
Mellie's father had made the call to Fitz who was in a meeting at the time, but as soon as he recognized the number, he jumped out of his seat and left the room. "Son?" a deep, southern accent came through. "You need to get down here as soon as you can."
His heart stopped for a minute before he could respond. "What happened?"
"Our Mellie was in an accident, it's not looking too good."
Despite several protests from his team, Fitz was on the next flight out because "come hell or high water, I'm going to be there for my wife, damn it!"
He worked from the side of her hospital bed for almost two weeks, refusing to leave her side until she woke up.
"You could try talking to her," one of the nurses suggested with a smile. "sometimes that helps."
After the nurse left the room, he moved his chair closer to his wife's bed and slowly reached for her hand, lacing his fingers through his. Fitz cleared his throat and studied her face, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you...I need you to come back to me, Mellie, because I don't know how to do this without you. I don't. Me and little Jerry, we need you. He needs his mommy." He started rubbing lazy circles on the back of her hand, the way she'd do when she was trying to calm him down. "You've gotta wake up, baby, please." That's when the tears started falling. There was a very real possibility that his wife wasn't going to wake up
The first thing he noticed was the change in her heartbeat, and then the flutter of her eyelids. Next came a gentle squeeze of his hand. He was out of his chair in seconds, standing by her side when her eyes fully opened. "Hey, pretty baby." Aside from the few tears still falling, a small smile formed on his face.
"Hi." her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "I heard you, you know. I need you too. It's just you and me. And baby Jerry."
He leaned down to kiss his wife softly. "You and me." He agreed.
The fourth time wasn't until they'd been in the White House, after Olivia told Fitz what his father had done to his wife. He'd rushed to her side, something he hadn't done in years, and pulled her into his arms. "I fought him. I f-" she gasped. "I fought."
"Shh." he muttered against her temple and hugged her to his side tighter. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every-" his voice broke, "everything. For what he did to you, for what I've done to you. I'm sorry."
The fifth time was just a few days later. After their son passed away. After they'd won the reelection. He didn't stay to celebrate, instead he made his way to the Oval Office and Mellie followed behind him. She kept her distance, but as soon as his knees hit the floor she was at his side taking his hand into hers and kneeling beside him.
She did everything she could to keep herself together for him. Letting herself cry along with him wouldn't help, so she held his hand tightly and combed the back of his head with her free fingers. "What can I do, Fitz?" she almost pleaded with him.
There was silence for a long moment and then, "Just...just be here."
Giving a slight nod, Mellie brought her hand to the side of his head and slowly pulled him against her chest, silently hoping it'd be good enough. At least for now.