A/N: This was inspired by lightsthatguideus's, "50 things Tony Stark isn't allowed can never, ever do." I read it and thought it was insanly hilarious. So, I desired to write this. Coulson lives. He is only mentioned a few times though.
50 things that Thor Shouldn't be Permitted to do.
1.) Thor should never be permitted to go into 'Walmart' alone. He will proceed to ask, "Where are the walls?" and thus, trying to rip a wall from it's foundation to buy. (Note: This'll be for your well being too, you don't want to get sued.)
2.) Thor is not allowed to join the fandom. Any fandom. It will lead to many tears shed and 'Team _' shirts bought.
3.) Thor is no longer allowed in McDonalds after the whole, "You're a woman?" incident. We don't need any more lawyers hounding us.
4.) Thor is not allowed to get a puppy. He will name it Loki, and the rest of the Avengers do not want to fight another battle.
5.) Thor is also not allowed to get a puppy and name it 'Buckwheat.' A childrens cartoon show is nothing to go by. (No matter what Tony says.)
6.) Thor is most definatly not permitted to attend a Willow Smith concert and 'whip his hair' it will cause freak of nature storms. (And Tony to buy a new Bentley because his last one suffered excessive lightning.)
7.) Thor is never permitted to buy a Red Solo Cup and go around singing the song in Banner's ear. (Banner hates Country and this will lead to excessive property damage.)
8.) Thor is not allowed to start a band and name it, "Ass-Guard." No matter what Tony says it is not catchy and certainly not okay.
9.)Thor is not allowed to take Steve to Rite-Aid and play with the automatic doors. Chances are, Steve will get stuck (again) and Thor will panic. (At least don't let him bring Mjolnir.)
10.)Thor is NEVER under ANY circumstances allowed to go to Disney Land again. He will, 'Slay the foul dragon!' and you will pay for property damage.
11.) Thor is not allowed to go to a bar with Tony. Tony will leave him there and the poor soul will get taken home by some 'girl'. (We do not want a repeat of New Year's.)
12.) Thor is not allowed to watch ANY trix commercial, because he will start sobbing and demand to know why Midgardian children are so selfish with their breakfast foods.
13.) Thor is not allowed to use a cell-phone.
14.) Thor and Tony are not allowed to be alone with said cell-phone.
15.) Thor is not permitted to let Tony teach him how to 'sext'.
16.) Thor is not permitted to ask Natasha what 'BDSM' means after being TAUGHT how to sext. (It will lead to many injuries.)
17.) Thor is not permitted to take Midgardian vocabulary lessons from Steve. Girls are not 'dames'.
18.) Thor is not permitted to call Coulson a fangirl, Tony is just being rude.
19.) Thor is not allowed to ask Coulson where his Captain America panties are.
20.) Thor is not allowed to learn anything from Tony. Including that 'panties' are trading cards.
21.) Thor is not allowed to be alone with Tony. Period.
22.) Thor is never to suggest that they 'Party like it's Asgard.' (You will get horns stuck into you, mate.)
23.) Thor is not allowed to watch 'Ring' before bed.
24.) Thor is not allowed to ask Natasha to sleep in her bed after nightmares of watching the 'Ring'.
25.) Thor is not allowed to have a sleepover with Steve. (At least don't give them access to a kitchen.)
26.) Thor and Steve are not to attempt baking cookies. Ever.
27.) Thor is not allowed to invite Loki over for a sleepover.
28.) Thor is not permitted to invite Loki over at all.
29.) Thor is not allowed in Tony's lab alone. Ever.
30.) Thor is not allowed to repeatedly poke Bruce with an electrifying scrwe driver because he is dared to.
31.) Thor and Tony are not to be permitted to play Truth or Dare together.
32.) Thor is not allowed to bungee jump. Under any circumstances.
33.) Thor is not allowed around smokers. Because when they ask him to, 'Light them up.' he gets the wrong impression.
34.) Thor is not to be used as a light bulb during power outages.
35.) Thor is not permitted to ask Tony to show him 'fanfiction' because he heard females on the street boasting about it.
36.) Thor is not allowed to write Avengers fanfiction.
37.) Thor is not allowed to write fanfiction about Avenger's meetings. (At least don't let Fury know.)
38.) Thor is not allowed to adopt a penpal.
39.) Thor is not allowed to become a wheather man.
40.) Thor is never to be permitted to touch Coulson's trading cards.
41.) No one is to teach Thor how to drive a car.
42.) Thor is not allowed to ask for a car.
43.) Thor is not allowed around cars at all.
44.) Thor is not permitted to do the cinnamon challenge.
45.) Thor is not permitted to do the salt and ice challenge.
46.) Thor is not allowed to watch any Youtube.
47.) Thor is not allowed to join tumblr.
48.) Thor is not allowed to make a tumblr under his brother's name and post about rainbows.
49.) Thor is not allowed around a computer.
50.) Thor is not allowed to use the tesseract to find other wordly beings to, 'Have a party out of this world.'