New Romantic
otherwise known as:
5 Times Jane Made Lisbon Blush
A/N: I found this little story that I wrote a while ago on my laptop, clearly I wrote it back before the start of season 6 because Wainwright is still around and everyone still works at the CBI! So yeah, just to forewarn you it's old but I hope it's still a little bit good!
i.
Three days.
Three whole days.
That's how long the SCU had been without a case. The whole team had completed every possible piece of paperwork, well barring Jane who didn't do paperwork. Lisbon had resorted to reading budget reports to try and give her something to do.
Jane didn't cope well when the team didn't have a case; he'd been driving everyone completely insane. He was like a child, constantly wandering round the CBI, begging for attention and embarrassing people with his tricks. Lisbon sighed and buried her head in her hands, as she prepared for the angry phone call that she was sure Jane's disappearance would result in.
As soon as she heard her phone buzz against the hard wood of her desk she grabbed it, expecting it to be someone calling to complain about Jane. She was shocked when she saw that the caller was the man himself.
"What do you want Jane?" she snapped.
"Hello to you too Lisbon."
"What do you want Jane?" Lisbon repeated.
"I want you to come down to the basement, I have a surprise for you." He replied, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
"Jane, I don't have time for your stupid games." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Of course you have time Lisbon; we haven't had a case in three days."
"What I meant was I don't want your surprise Jane."
"That hurts Lisbon; it's a very good surprise."
"You know what fine I'll come down, but just so you know it's only because I know you're going to keep calling me and bothering me if I don't."
"Good."
And with that he hung up.
Lisbon sighed as she stood up and left her office. She marched towards the elevator, she was regretting agreeing to see Jane's 'surprise'. Whatever it was, Lisbon was pretty certain that she wouldn't enjoy it.
Arriving at the basement floor she spotted Jane at the end of the corridor, he turned and flashed her a huge grin.
"Right Jane what's this so called surprise." She snapped as soon as she reached him.
"Patience my dear all will be revealed..." He replied enigmatically.
"Jane..." Lisbon warned as he placed his hand on her back and steered her towards a door a few feet away from them.
"Voila." Jane announced swinging the door open.
"Jane, this is the file storage room." She said, staring at the shelves full of brown manila files containing decade's worth or crime.
"Yes it is." He answered bluntly, still smiling.
"Why have you dragged me down here?" she was beginning to get annoyed.
"Because it contains a wealth of unsolved cold cases just waiting to be solved!" Jane stated, as if it was obvious.
"And?" Lisbon asked, still not understanding Jane's excitement.
"And we'll never be without a case again! When we don't have a new case we can solve the cold cases."
"That's actually not a bad idea Jane," Lisbon admitted "Found any cases that might be interesting?"
"Thank you Lisbon, and yes, there's a pile there." Jane said gesturing to a pile of files perched on a desk in corner.
Lisbon strode over to files, failing to notice a box on the floor which she promptly tripped over. Jane rushed over to help her up but she brushed him off.
"I'm fine Jane," she snapped, picking up the files. "Let's take these to Wainwright and see what he thinks."
Jane followed Lisbon out of the room, as Lisbon opened the door one of the security guards passed by.
"Hey there Agent Lisbon," he greeted.
"Oh, hi Burt," Lisbon replied.
"Been collecting files have you?" he said winking.
Lisbon felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She whipped her head round to look at Jane then turned back to Burt.
"What?" she spluttered "We were just..."
She turned once again to look at Jane, silently begging him to help her dig them out of this hole. Jane beamed at her and took the files from her grasp.
"We were just collecting files." He said to Burt.
"Well your secret's safe with me," He said, adding a wink before walking away.
"It's not." Jane stated, heading towards the elevator.
Lisbon stared at him, still in shock, a familiar red colour staining her cheeks.
ii.
The idea of going into work that morning filled Lisbon with a sense of dread. She was fully aware that the whole of the CBI staff thought that she was sleeping with Jane. She inwardly cursed him as she pulled up in the CBI parking lot. Why hadn't he said something more convincing to Burt? Because he liked to see her suffer, that was why. Taking a deep breath she got out of the car and began the long, sure to be torturous walk to her office.
Immediately upon entering the building, Lisbon felt everyone's eyes on her. She resisted the urge to announce to them all that she was not, in fact, sleeping with her consultant, and just headed for the elevator as quickly as she could. On arriving at the floor of SCU she practically ran into her office and shut the door. Lisbon sank into her chair and pressed her hands to her face, groaning aloud. She was going to kill Jane, this time she was actually going to kill him. She was woken from her fantasies of killing Jane in multiple, violent, ways by a knock on her office door. Lisbon decided to ignore it; she really wasn't in the mood for people today
"Urmmm...boss..."
She raised her head from her hands to see Van Pelt, Cho and Rigsby stood in front of her looking decidedly uncomfortable.
"Boss," Rigsby started "people have been saying some stuff and we were wondering..."
"Not that we think it's true or anything." Van Pelt continued.
"We just thought we'd ask..." Rigsby added.
"Just in case you know it was..." Van Pelt and Rigsby were obviously trying to skirt around it
"Lisbon, are you sleeping with Jane?" Cho asked in his usual blunt manner.
The team looked at Lisbon expectantly, waiting eagerly for an answer.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed "It's all one huge misunderstanding."
The team breathed an audible sigh of relief.
"You can get back to work now." Lisbon snapped.
Just as the door had closed behind the team, Lisbon's phone rang. Great she though just what I need someone else asking me if it's true.
"Lisbon."
"Agent Lisbon, I need you to come to my office."
It was Wainwright, just when she thought it couldn't get any worse.
"Sure, I'll be right there." She sighed.
As she entered Wainwright's office she saw Jane perched on the sofa and immediately knew that this was about their 'relationship.'
"Boss this isn't..." she started, but Wainwright cut her off.
"Look, according to the rules there's nothing I can do about your relationship with Mr Jane, however I..."
"Boss I there is no relationship with Jane. Right Jane?" Lisbon gave Jane one of her famed stares.
"Well..." Jane was clearly enjoying this.
"You don't have to lie Agent Lisbon; you were seen coming out of the file storage room looking dishevelled." Wainwright put particular emphasis on the word.
Lisbon felt a, now familiar, blush rise to her cheeks. She looked a Jane, imploring him to tell Wainwright the truth. After a few moments Jane took pity on her.
"Luther, I can honestly say, there is nothing like that going on between myself and Lisbon. It's just gossip."
Wainwright looked dubious, but finally allowed them to leave after Lisbon also swore there was nothing going on.
Jane turned to Lisbon grinned at her.
"You'd better run Jane," Lisbon growled "Or I swear I won't be responsible for my actions."
Jane's smile faded as he saw that Lisbon's threats were serious.
"I'll just..." he said turned and walking quickly away.
That was the last time Lisbon was going to let Jane make her blush like that.
iii.
This sheriff is such a creep Lisbon though, not for the first time at this crime scene. As soon as the team had arrived he'd made no bones about saying that he'd rather deal with Rigsby and Cho. Sexist pig! He even asked Cho if it made him feel embarrassed to have a female boss. Cho, to his credit, replied with one of his usual cutting remarks and Sheriff Baker had left him alone after that. Sheriff Baker also had no problem with telling Lisbon that, whilst she was an inferior law officer, she was very attractive. She could feel him leering at her as she bent down to look at the body with Jane.
"Annoyed are we Lisbon?" Jane asked, smiling at her.
"Of course I'm annoyed!" she hissed "Not only does that Sheriff think I can't do my job, he's also trying to hit on me!"
"I think I should have a word with Sheriff Baker." Jane said, standing up.
"Jane, just leave it." Lisbon hissed, grabbing his arm to stop him walking away.
"Oh come on Lisbon, don't pretend that you wouldn't like to see him squirm."
"Well..."
"So I can go have a word with him?" Jane asked.
"Fine. But I'm coming with you." Lisbon said, standing up and following Jane to Sheriff Baker.
"Good morning Sheriff Baker, Patrick Jane CBI consultant. I don't believe we've been introduced." Jane said, holding out his hand and smiling one of his predatory smiles.
"No we haven't. Errrrm, nice to meet you Mr Jane." Sheriff Baker replied tentatively shaking Jane's hand.
"Now I've noticed that you've been trying to flirt with Agent Lisbon." Jane said, still smiling.
"Why is that any of your business?" Sheriff Baker replied, colour rising in his cheeks.
"Because Agent Lisbon is my girlfriend." It was Lisbon's turn to blush. "And as her boyfriend I don't appreciate men like you trying to hit on her."
"Look, Mr Jane I'm sorry. I didn't realise she was taken." The sheriff was clearly uncomfortable, he probably though Jane was going to punch him.
"Just don't let it happen again. I'm sure your wife wouldn't appreciate it either." Jane smirked at him before putting his arm around Lisbon and steering her towards the body.
"Jane why do you always have to do stuff like that?" Lisbon asked, a blush still staining her cheeks.
"Did you see the look on his face?" Jane asked.
At the memory both of them began to giggle like schoolchildren.
"I can't believe he bought that!" Lisbon said through laughs.
"Hey, what are you trying to say!" Jane retorted.
At the look of indignation on Jane's face, Lisbon began to laugh even harder. The sight of Lisbon laughing that was infectious, and both of them continued to laugh about their encounter with Sheriff Baker all the way back to the CBI.
vi.
"I can't believe you Jane!" Lisbon yelled.
Lisbon was mad. She wasn't completely sure why. It's not like Jane hadn't pulled worse pranks on a case. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't even give her an inkling of what he was planning this time. And now she had not only the CEO of one of the biggest companies threatening to sue her, but also the DA was threatening to get her sacked.
"Why didn't you tell me what you were planning?" She asked him.
"Deni..."
"Don't you dare say deniability god damn it! Because deniability hasn't stopped the DA trying to get me sacked!"
"Oh come on Lisbon we solved the case didn't we?"
The fact that Jane didn't seem to care about the consequences of his actions only served to anger Lisbon more.
"Sure we solved the case, but we can't charge the murderer because of your stupid plan!"
"Lisbon I'm sorry but..."
"No you're not Jane! That's your problem; you think a simple apology will make everything better! Well not this time."
"Lisbon..." Jane looked upset.
"Please Jane, just go." She sighed.
Dejectedly he left her office. Lisbon sighed and sank into her couch. She felt bad for upsetting Jane but he had to understand that he couldn't just do these things and get away with it. A few moments later, Lisbon's phone began to ring. As she answered it she closed her eyes and braced herself for the dressing down she was sure was going to come. However she was surprised when it was Jane's voice which answered.
"Lisbon, I know you don't believe me but I really am sorry."
"Jane please just..." she began but he cut her off.
"No, Lisbon I really am. Come out to the front of the building and I'll prove it."
"Jane look I'm not in the mood..."
"Please Lisbon." It was the pleading tone that convinced Lisbon that she should go see what Jane had to say.
"Okay Jane I'm on my way."
As Lisbon stepped out of the building she saw no immediate sign of Jane. That was until she heard her name being called from, what sounded like, the roof. She looked up to see Jane stood on the edge calling her name.
"Jane, what the hell are you doing?" she called up to him, terrified he might fall.
"I'm apologising properly Lisbon!" he called.
People around Lisbon were already starting to turn and look at Jane. Some of them gasped obviously thinking he was going to jump.
"I, Patrick Jane, want to apologise to Agent Teresa Lisbon in front of all these people!" he shouted so that everyone would hear. "I've been a complete idiot and I am genuinely sorry!"
Lisbon felt her cheeks grow warm, trust Jane to think of this.
"Okay Jane you can come down now!" she shouted to him.
"Not until you say you accept my apology!" was his answer.
"Fine, I accept your apology Jane! Now will you come down?"
"Sure." She saw him turn and walk away.
She smiled and shook her head as she walked back into the building. Only Jane would embarrass her as an apology.
v.
Vegas.
Exactly 530 miles away from the headquarters of the CBI.
That was where their latest case was. And it was where Jane and Lisbon had had to fly to that afternoon. Apparently the CBI could only afford to send the two of them, so the rest of the team were working the case from the office in Sacramento. The case was the murder of a very wealthy and powerful Californian national named Robert Burton. After his death the family had insisted that the CBI be put on the case.
When they arrived at the hotel in Las Vegas, Lisbon was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. She headed to the reception desk to check in as Jane had a wander round.
"Good evening." Said the receptionist, she seemed far too chirpy for Lisbon's liking.
"Hi, I'm wanting to check in. It's Teresa Lisbon." She said.
The young woman behind the desk typed something very quickly into the computer.
"Ah yes, Miss Lisbon and Mr Jane, your room is..."
"What?" Lisbon snapped "Jane and I are sharing a room?"
"Why yes of course." The receptionist said, looking puzzled "You are a couple aren't you?"
Just as Lisbon was about to answer, Jane appeared at her side a put his arm around her.
"What seems to be the problem Lisbon?" he asked.
"Well it appears that the CBI has only booked us one room." She snapped.
"Of course they have Lisbon my dear." He said. "After all we are engaged."
Lisbon's face flushed, and she was paralysed with shock. Jane leant down as if to kiss her cheek and whispered in her ear.
"We're supposed to be undercover, didn't you get that memo."
"Apparently not." She muttered under her breath as Jane collected the keys from the receptionist.
He squeezed Lisbon's hip and guided her towards the elevator.
"Just so you know Jane, you're sleeping on the floor." She huffed, before flouncing away from him.