The brown eyes of the substitute Shinigami, Ichigo Kurosaki, fluttered open, his head throbbed with pain, he sat up, running a hand through his spiky orange.
"Ah dammit, I feel like I got hit by a fucking freight train" Ichigo said.
"You look like it too" that voice was familiar. Ichigo looked up to see his hated rival, the blue haired sixth espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, the blue haired arrancar noticed him as well.
"Grimmjow!"
"Kurosaki!" Both of them stood up and Ichigo took Zangetsu from his back and Grimmjow unsheathed Pantera. Both of them stopped and looked around curiously.
"What the hell is this?" Ichigo inquired. Behind Grimmjow, scattered around were the rest of the Espada and Aizen, Gin and Tosen with some of the other Arrancar. The orange haired Shinigami turned around to see the rest of the Shinigami and the Vizards around him. Even a few humans, Ichigo could see Chad, Orihime and even Uryu and Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro as well.
"Itsygo!" All Ichigo saw was a flash of green and Nel was attached to the side of his head, crying her eyes out with tears of joy.
"Gah! Nel, get off of me will ya!" The orange haired Shinigami yelled, trying to pry the small Arrancar off of his head.
"All Shinigami to arms! Prepare for battle!" Yamamoto bellowed seeing Aizen and his Arrancar. The Shinigami did just that, with their Zanpakuto materializing as well The Arrancar reacted in the same way. Just when an all out war was about to break out, a voice stopped them.
"Everyone, Chill, this is my house and neutral ground for that matter, no fighting...Yet". Everyone looked to see a young man of around 19 dressed in black pants and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a red tie around his neck.
"Those who try to fight who were not permitted...it won't end well."
"Who the hell are you?" Grimmjow asked with a sneer.
"The name is Killswitch and this my friends, Is Bleach: Total Insanity, where the laws of nature don't apply...unless I want them too...I'm going to need you guys to answer questions and do dares and all that, it's whatever the readers want", Killswitch said, putting his hands in his pockets.
"And what if we refuse?" Aizen asked.
"..." Killswitch smirked evilly and snapped his fingers, a pit opened in front of Aizen with a bunch of girls jumping around, reaching for him, "Yaoi fangirls, ready and waiting." Even Aizen gulped in fear, seeing the mass below.
"Now, there are a few rules I'd like viewers to abide by...", Killswitch pulls out a piece of paper.
"Nothing Yaoi, the Yaoi fangirls are a punishment like a I said, but if I hate you enough, that could be sued for a dare..." the guys gulped and the girls just smirked at their unfortunate situation.
"All right, if a reviewer asks you to fight, you either fight or I think of a suitable dare where you would get hurt or humiliated just as badly...other than that, everything is allowed...unless I am unable to do so" Killswitch said, looking around to everyone.
"You Viewers can dare Humans, Vizards, Shinigami and Arrancar, no Bounts, those guys suck."
"Also, you guys, whoever it may be, have to do the dare, if you don't then I'll think of one for you that's just as bad, and Ichigo, since you're one of my favorite characters, you get some leeway, if it calls for it, I'll change yours a bit if it's cool with the reviewer" The deathberry sighed in relief.
"Hey thanks man" again, Killswitch smirked.
"But don't think that will get you out of some of the vicious dares or fights...like this, Ichigo, you have to french kiss Rukia for a whole five minute in front of Kaien, Renji and Byakuya."
"NANI!" Ichigo screamed, he and Rukia glowing bright red while Byakuya quirked an eyebrow and Kaien crossed his arms, doing the same as Byakuya. Renji's rage was already slowly beginning to build.
"They won't do anything until time is up...Or you can go in the pit..." Ichigo moved faster than Shunpo and had Rukia in his arms, their tongues intertwined, the lithe Shinigami and deathberry moaning in to the intense make out session. Kaien's brow continued to twitch, while Byakuya's became more and more stoic. Renji's anger became visible as red rose in his face like mercury in a thermometer.
"Ah Young Love" Urahara chimed in.
"57...58...59...RUN!" Killswitch yelled, Ichigo hadn't heard the young man but he did hear something.
"Scatter, Senbonzakura."
"Howl, Zabimaru!"
"Rankle the Seas and Heavens, Nejibana!"
"SHIIIIT!" Ichigo ran as fast as he could as he was chased down by a wave of cherry blossoms and a large wave, leaving a breathless and dazed Rukia, who quickly snapped out of her daze.
"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!" The black haired Lieutenant summoned her shikai, A glowing white curcle appeared under Byakuya, Renji and Kaien just as they reached Ichigo.
"Some no Mai: Tsukishiro!" (First Dance: White Moon) The light rose and encased both Shinigami in ice, Rukia to Ichigo and grabbed him by his collar and pulled in to another heated kiss.
"Master!" Senbonzakura yelled.
"Renji!" Chimpette and Snakey yelled.
"...Didn't see that coming" Killswitch said.
"Tch, there's no way I'm going to be playing this idiotic game" Nnoitra said with a hint of smugness in his voice.
"It's a good thing I hate you the most...Yachiru" the pink haired girl jumped on to his shoulder, smiling happily.
"Yes?" Killswitch pulled a couple items from his pockets. A can of Red Bull and a large bag of candy.
"NO!" The Shinigami yelled in protest, even Yamamoto and Kenpachi.
"There is a fate worse than death you lanky bastard, Put him in that room!", Killswitch yelled, Grimmjow and Kenpachi subdued the lanky Espada and threw him in to on to one of the many rooms. Killswitch carried Yachiru to the room as she devoured the sweets and guzzled the energy drink.
"In you go" he tossed the child in and closed the door just as her Rieatsu spiked.
"YYYYAAAAAAHHHOOOOOOO!"
"Even I think that was too far", Kenpachi said, actually feeling sorry for the Espada, well, almost.
"For the love of everything holy, Get. Me. OUT OF HERE!" Nnoitra screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Any other objections?" Everyone shook their head no and Killswitch chuckled.
"Everyone is going to hate me and love me at the same time when others start getting beat down and dared, so everyone, want to give the viewers a big goodbye before we let them go?" Everyone was quiet.
"That's cold you guys...Anyway...Tell me some dares, questions, fights you really want to see, and we'll have them here next time on Bleach: Total Insanity." He snapped his fingers and couches, games and an assortment of time killers appeared around the massive room.
"Get comfy guys and gals."
"Who wants to play a game of Strip Pool?" Yoruichi asked, Rangiku beside her , Grimmjow and Urahara were at the table in a Flash. Gin and Shuehi were punched in the face when they tried to get close. Soi-fon appeared and wrapped her legs around Grimmjow's neck, his face quickly turning purple and the Espada passed out. Soi-fon taking his place.
"Oh, looks like we've got a couple takers, Yoruichi-chan" Rangiku said with a sly smirk. Soi-fon glared at the Shop owner out of the corner of her eye.
"Whatever...I'm gonna take a nap", The Primera Coyote Starrk fell back, a large pile of pillows appearing under him.
"Starrk, You lazy bum!" Lilinette yelled. Killswitch went behind the bar to serve the people that were there. Nnoitra stumbled out of the closet, bloody, bruised and broken. Yachiru hopped on his head and jumped up and down a couple times, finally jumping on Kenpachi's back.
"This could be fun" Killswitch said, putting an arm around Kukaku's shoulders.
"Hey Get your hands off my Sister Pal!" Ganju yelled, Kaien heard this cry as Byakuya broke their prison with a blast of reiryoku.
"Kurosaki, Prepare to die" Byakuya said, the death petals rising up once again.
"Aren't you gonna stop them?" Kukaku asked.
"...Nah, I'll let them have their fun for now, as for me, I gotta go!" He dived away as multiple bombs came down courtesy of Ganju. Kaien raising after him with Nejibana.
Lame, I know, but like i said, it's for fun, some laughs, really, it's not going to be serious at all.
Send dares, questions, fights, anything, you can even dare Killswitch as long as it's not Yaoi. Hell, if you guys want to be involved in this for a chapter, let me know, want a hug from a character, by all means...
Fights, anything from normal fist fights to mud wrestling for the ladies, bring it on.
Just because Ichigo kissed Rukia doesn't mean it's only Rukia he can be with, as long as it's not Kukaku, he's got anyone, the girls are free game unless I say otherwise. Not all characters we'll be in every chapter, they may make a comment or stay quiet, it's up to reviewers and what they want to see. Fights won't be long unless they're like big battle royales. Possible lemons too, and I repeat, Possible, no promises.
Aizen Bashing, Aizen Bashing, Aizen Bashing!...Sorry...