Hello! Sandra here!
I personally like one-shots. why? BECAUSE NO NEED FOR UPDATE... Haha... I'm such a lazy person... and I have a life! well, sort'off...
Any ways without further ado!
I do not own GINTAMA, credits go to sorachi-sensei.
Yato Case File: Umbrella's aren't for rainy days only
"GIN-SAAAAAN! Please walk sadaharu so I can clean the place."
"It's kagura-chan's dog, and I'm too busy reading jump!"
"Alright! Im gonna walk sadaharu any way's, Im just putting on my shoes and—"
The scene freezes with my hand reaching out for my trusted purple umbrella. Astonished eyes portray the sudden jolt of electricity I felt through my body, it's not there. Mysteriously disappearing from the rack, this could only mean one thing.
Someone stole it.
Straightening my body, I gradually gaze upon the other yorozuya residents. Ginchan, odd jobs master wouldn't have any interest in a little girl's parasol. And he was visible to my sight the whole time, reading JUMP, the possibility of him taking the said item without permission was not viable.
Megane, the straight man, currently cleaning the floor kept ranting about how he always ends up doing the same old routine every day. If my memory serves me well, the last time I used my parasol was yesterday. And megane was with ane-go that time. The glasses boy couldn't have been the perpetrator.
This could only mean that it's outside the yorozuya circle. For me to find out I had to leave.
Detective Kagura Yato is on the case.
"Gin-chan! Shinpachi! I'm going to walk sadaharu now!" I said with a cheerful tone to hide the grief of my loss. The last thing I needed was them looking at me with concern-filled eyes. Explaining my situation to them would only hinder my investigation.
"Be careful Kagura-chan!" pachi smiling and waving goodbye as he took a minute of his time to bid me farewell. As soon as I'd leave the house he would continue on his daily duties as the cleaning lady and the useless glasses person that nobody wants to be.
"Oi! Kagura! Bring back some parfait will you!" The perm head said not bothering to look up from the JUMP plastered on his face.
"Not a chance Ginchan, not a chance..."
I repeated silently in my head as I stepped outside. I patted sadaharu's head and he wagged his tail in response. I smiled bitterly looking up at the sky. Its currently 9am in the morning and the streets was buzzing with people. If I'm going to start my search I should go to the one closest to the Odd jobs place.
Right now, everyone is a suspect.
Otose-snack shop, situated right below us they could have easily snatched my parasol. Entering, a view completely opposite to the boisterous street I was in just a second ago was laid before my eyes. The dull lighting complemented the tedious atmosphere they showcased. It was understandable since the bars auspicious moments happen at night.
I sat down at a wooden stool which squeaked with the slightest movement made. Facing the window I casually demanded for a drink to quench the thirst that's been bothering my throat for the past couple of minutes.
The old lady in front wearing a dry expression on her face seemed to have acknowledged my request as she moved through the counter. She handed over a glass of white Russian. Or at least that's what it would be if it weren't for the lack of vodka and other ingredients which made it a cocktail drink.
I looked down and fidgeted the glass containing a white creamy substance, swirling it around using my right dominant hand. If I'm not mistaken Ginchan calls it calcium? Not a day pass by that I don't see the guy guzzling one every morning as if it's vital for his survival. Satisfied I drank it in one gulp and started a conversation.
"So Otose-san, you wouldn't happen to have seen a purple umbrella anywhere would you?"I inquired in a manner befitting that of professional detective.
"Huh?" staring down at me, the old lady continued. "I wouldn't know about an umbrella but I'm very certain that your rent still hasn't been paid"
A motive
"So in revenge for not paying rent you go about stealing little girls umbrellas huh!?" slamming my palms at the counter I rose up to emphasize my point.
"And what would I do with a useless umbrella?" she voiced out calmly. That's right! A mere human wouldn't understand the value of my precious parasol. Then who would?
An amanto...
I scrutinized the place and found just who I was looking for. I drew closer to a figure kneeling on the grimy floor. The place needed cleaning that badly specially after that vivacious occasion last night when a man and his colleagues celebrated his upcoming wedding ceremony. The stench of vomit and alcohol still roamed around in some parts of the room.
Clearing my mind I remember them banging at the door loudly yesterday and complaining how it's been 3 months since we last paid the rent. She had an opportunity to steal the umbrella while I was silently hiding in my closet bedroom.
"Oi Catherine..."
Scrubbing the floor with soap and water she continued to ignore my presence. As a result of my patience withering away I tapped my right foot loudly continually increasing its pace. As if finally noticing me, she looked up with a scowl evident on her face. Her hands drenched with the soapy substance and the smell of cleaning agents perfuming around us.
"What! Can't you see I'm busy? I don't have the time to play with you. I have work so leave if your just here to cause a problem." And with that she turned away.
I closed my eyes in disbelief. Thinking through her words, she probably doesn't have the time. Then who does? Someone who has the time but doesn't have a job? Like lightning a name came rushing in my mind. Squinting my eyes to narrow slits, I slowly mouthed the words...
M-A-D-A-O...
After walking for 30 minutes I arrived at my destination. "The park", children were running around playing tag. A luxury I don't have. "Lucky brats..." I sighed inwardly as I scanned for the so called MADAO or (ma)ru de (da)me na (o)ssan (good-for-nothing old man). There he was sitting at a bench, seemingly lifeless, I picked up a stick and poked his head. As if you can visibly see the soul seeping out of his mouth I quickly shouted to prevent him from crossing over the boundaries of the living and dead.
"Oiiiiii! MADAO!" He fell hard on the ground and dust covered my vision. I coughed it out to prevent any from entering my chest cavity and causing respiratory problems. It's enough that I'm daily exposed to a certain perm head's diabetic causing diet. But the possibility of me attaining tuberculosis or lung cancer is a bullet I'd gladly be dodging.
"Huh? What!?" confused he sat back up at the bench that once contained his lifeless body. To save time I quickly went down to business.
"Where is it? Huh? Where'd yah put it?" Grabbing his collar I glared at him.
"What? I swear, I thought no one owned that coin but here you can have it just spare my life!" I pocketed the coin and continued
"I meant my parasol! Where is it!?" readying my fist for tortu— I mean persuasion if needed
"I don't have it! Do you really think I'd try to steal something from you!?" The guy ain't no genius but he has a point. A worthless guy like him wouldn't dare challenge the hierarchy set by the social orders of society. I let go as he drops to the ground sobbing.
"Oh is there anyone in the world more miserable than me!?" he weeps in his hands hiding away his shame and preserving what little dignity he has.
Someone more miserable than you? Clearly that's me watching you.
I don't have time for this. Shaking my head I spot a dark figure, behind a huge tree watching me, at my peripheral vision. With my reflexes acting fast I stomped hard on the ground. A pebble rises from the earth. As soon as it reached half my height I used my left foot to kick it hard at the shape. He dodged it and ran off; I quickly made a mad dash after the said form.
He's fast! But so am I...
I jumped high aiming for him prepared to crush his skull but he stepped sideways and entered an alley. The dark alley served him well but I can still catch up. He barged in a door trying to shake me off. We entered a diner; I could tell the customers were shocked. He knocked off a waiter, lucky for him I was fast and caught the tray with the plates falling consecutively on my right hand. Dropping it at a nearby counter I headed for the door. He went straight to a U-turn road so I made a right turn expecting to cut him off through a wrecked building, but I'm met with a swarm of people in the street. Looking left and right my sharpened senses seek for the running figure.
Damn! I lost him...
I stopped to catch my breath. I was now panting heavily as I lifted my head up. Sweat dripping from my chin as I recognize the place. The streetlights were off because of the intense glow emanating from the sun but this is the place...
Yoshiwara
After running for so long I somehow manage to end up here. I might as well visit while I'm at it.
Unlike the night time where old men would flock the streets seeking for entertainment or a pass time because the ex-wife suddenly decided to visit the kids without even calling to inform him. After a few more walks I finally arrived at my appointed destination.
"Kagura-chan?" A little boy with brown hair just a few years younger than me called out with a surprised expression. Obviously this was because I look like I just ran a 10km marathon within 10 minutes while being chased by a herd of angry buffalos in the middle of the blazing hot Sahara desert.
"Hey Seita!" I shrugged still tired and sat on one of the nearby benches. Hinowa offered me some dango and tsukki handed me a glass of water. The kind host waited patiently for me to recover from my previous episode.
"WHAT! Someone stole your umbrella!?" they all said in unison after I told them my story
"Sounds a li'l farfetched don'cha think?" Tsukuyo said doubtingly while leaning on the concrete wall. Soon enough she starts letting out a smoke which made her more relaxed.
"Who would do that to kagura-chan?" Seita said with a puzzled look
"Teehee, apparently it seems like someone is playing a trick on you." Sacchan, who came out of nowhere, declared confidently. The purple haired ninja proudly displayed a conceited smile while casually averting our "How long have you been there?" stares. Setting that aside, who would dare deceive the high and mighty queen of kabukicho!?
"You're over thinking this." Hinowa stopped briefly and continued "Unless you have proof or a testimony from someone—"
"That's impossible Hinowa-san! Unless someone has been spying on you there's no way you'll find out what's been going on underneath your own nose."
Spy!? The word kept echoing in my mind. It's not like someone has been keeping an eye on us 24/7. Or is there? The idea then hits me unexpectedly like a 10 wheeler fire truck driven by a drunken elephant on a Sunday morning during the fourth of July. It appears that I just found a new lead. Smirking I stood up and waved goodbye to the lot.
The intense gaze of the sun was melting my spirit away. I'm now back to where I started, standing in front of the yorozuya. Tama was sweeping away the dust that accumulated in front of the shop. The green haired robot gave me a smile and I nodded my head lightly in response. Turning 180 degrees I'm now facing the house opposite to ours. Checking to see if the coast was clear I silently forced the door open, gently smashing the doorknob to non recognition.
Sneaking my way in the seemingly abandoned house I kept my eyes and ears open. The exterior of the place was in good condition but the insides were otherwise. The walls wore a dull brown paint coating and the floors were filthy. There really wasn't any furniture or appliances. "Sheesh,... even Ginchan had chairs" I thought as I continued walking the forsaken hallways set before me.
I came across a room with the door widely open. There, a black haired plain looking guy sat in front of the windows with binoculars enveloping his eyes. Plastic wrappers of anpan and milk cartons littered the place bearing a huge resemblance to a local dumpsite. I approached the target like a predator stalking his prey. Once near enough I spun his chair to face me startling him in the process.
"China-san?"
"Yoh! Jimmy!" I greeted him with a broad smile
"I-I didn't noticed you, w-what are you doing h-here?" The poor guy stammered, I'll cut to the chase.
"Say, you've been looking there since yesterday right?" My wide grin unfading
"W-what?" feigning ignorance I see? Quickly switching from good cop to bad cop I swiftly let out a stern and serious tone which effectively rattled the guy to yield in submission.
"Listen here jimmy, you tell me what I need to know or I'll let Tama over there know that you've been stalking her! Just think what she'll say? 'Eww, that's so creepy! Get that anpan freak away from me!'" I said with the most exaggeratedly girlish voice that I could muster on the last part.
"NO! Uh... what do you want to know?" raising both hands to the side like a crook caugth in the act, yamazaki sighs in defeat.
"I want to know if anyone suspicious entered our house yesterday and strolled away with my umbrella."
"Hmm... actually I don't remember you returning home with an umbrella." As his voice swirled in my head I felt like getting sucked into a deep black vortex, chewed by a 20 foot mammoth, and spitted out by a one eyed gorilla. As 3 seconds of my life casually passed by I shuddered in fear at the thought "I never brought it home?"
As soon as I let loose of my hold he scurried away to the farthest corner in the room. So the culprit really isn't within yorozuya premises...
Walking aimlessly I somehow arrived back in the park. The sky turned to blood as sunset befell the earth. A breeze went by, dancing gleefully among the green leaves were petals of flowers in assorted colours. The setting sun signalled everyone to return home.
Or not...?
Multiple shadows materialized in the ground. Looking up, three, five, ten no fifteen men armed to the teeth came to view. They were members of a gang which I had the pleasure beating up in pulps yesterday albeit they seem to have brought a few more.
"Is this the girl ?" asked a nasty looking guy. His hairstyle looked like it was done by a blind old man who got the idea from the age of the dinosaurs as his head now looks like a plesiosaur. Sleeves ripped off obviously trying to make a fashion statement but miserably failed.
"Yes boss! That's her!" a fellow who has a striking resemblance to a monkey said. Judging by his black reconnaissance suit, he must be the guy who followed me earlier. Clearly they had nothing better to do than take revenge for the humiliation they received from me yesterday.
"I don't really have time for this, so let's make this quick shall we?" taking my fighting stance I motioned my finger indicating that I'm ready to take them.
Annoyed at the cocky smirk I have plastered on my face they charged relentlessly at me all at once.
"GET HERRRR!"
Jumping up I sent a kick flying toward a Mohawks face, after landing I lunged upward hitting two more. The monkey looking guy caught my arm but I quickly threw him in the direction of his boss and they both went crashing in the nearby trash can.
Three guys with a baseball bat approached from behind. I narrowly dodged their attacks. I clutched my hands and the image of a purple parasol came to mind, "If I had my umbrella life would be easier and I could just blast them off the face of the earth". They caught me off guard, now rendered unable to move. One of the guys with a bat menacingly came closer and held his chosen weapon as high as he could. I closed my eyes waiting for the painful impact which never came. Opening them a familiar black uniform with his black leather shoe having an intimate moment with the face of the batter entered my sight.
No doubt about it, it was shinsengumi's first division captain Okita Sougo's foot that went face planting into the guy possibly breaking his nose in the process. In a blink of an eye he knocks the two men restraining me.
"Here, china." He said as he tossed me my long lost purple umbrella. "Hasn't anyone taught you how to pick your fights?"
"Tsk, sadist, what the hell are you doing here!?"
"Saving you." He said while parading a smug look on his face.
Using my umbrella I aimed at his head and fired a barrage of bullets. The sadist evaded it but the others aren't so lucky.
"What the hell china?!" the sandy haired man glared at me irritation and disbelief evident in his tone.
"What? You were blocking them." I said as I round housed the guy sneaking up behind me. Five men now have us surrounded. Holding each other's hands he lifted and twirled me around so that I'm able to kick them all in their heads which caused them to pass out.
"Well, at least I don't have to magically summon a random terrorist attack to keep hijikata-san quiet for skipping duty today." He said while cuffing the knocked out thugs.
The once blazing red skies now cloaked with darkness as the street begins to light up. Two stand beneath the watchful eyes of twinkling stars.
"What the hell sadist!? You stole my umbrella?"
"Idiot, you left it after you stormed off yesterday. Your brain cells are so dead they can't even decipher that you lost during our spar". He monotone which annoyed her. She felt a sudden urge to smash his head repetitively in a stone hard wall until red liquid starts gushing out of his forehead continuously in an uncontrollable manner. Feeling satisfied at the girls fuming face he drew closer inching the distance between them.
"W-what now!?" frantic at the sudden closeness
"What? Don't I get a thank you from the damsel I just saved?" Using one hand to cup her blushing red cheeks
"I wasn't a damsel you lowlife, freaking, stupid sadi—" He silenced her using his lips. His hands travelled to her shoulder, arms and rested on her waist. Kagura herself was not the type to lose. Her arm snaked around his neck deepening their sweet passionate kiss. They broke off— both panting, desperately gasping for air. Sougo patted her head gently and said.
"China..."
"Hm..?"
"Let's continue this some other time, come 'on I'll walk you home."
Two silhouette walking, hands intertwined, gradually disappeared into the streetlights of Edo.
(A/N): Tadahh! waddayathink? Im not really that good with humour am I?
Readers continually shoots author with a machine gun... *drops dead*... T.T ,
Read and Review! thank you.