Dating a multi-billionaire director is hard. Being pregnant with a multi-billionaire director's kid is harder. Missing your multi-billionaire director while being pregnant with his kid is probably not the situation you wished to be in, but here you are.
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and no one told you life was gonna be this gay.
March 10th, 2017
5:30pm
Your fingers moved deftly over the expanse of the piano as a gentle melody started up and you lost yourself in your performance as memories of Dave and that shitty half-smile that he gave to everyone except you fluttered into your psyche. You got the real deal, the full smile and every time he thought to grace you with its presence, it made your heart beat fast and your fingers flew faster and fluidly over the piano. It was therapeutic to be able to make beautiful noise even though you felt as if your world was falling apart steadily.
Dave had been gone for what felt like months with only short appearances every now and then. You were asleep during these instances, and when you read his messages left behind on your pesterchum, you felt the cold stab of something in your heart.
You bow your head as tears slowly dripped down your face, you felt like a kid for acting like this. He hadn't abandoned you, these things were out of his control and he couldn't help it. It had only been a month since he had left and yet, your emotional reserves were drained and if it weren't for the beautiful music you were producing, you don't know where you would be at this moment.
Friends periodically ignored your frantic, and somewhat shitty, attempts to talk about what a toll Dave's absence had taken on you. You figure that when he comes back, your relationship would be stronger than ever. If you could survive this long without each other, it boded pretty well.
You finally hear your phone go off just as you finish the chorus to a new song you had been trying out and you pause as you pick up the device and read the red text that sent pangs through your entire body. You missed him again.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:06 -
TG: sup
TG: karkat
TG: karkat
TG: earth to karkat
TG: karkat you there
TG: strider to grumpykat
TG: i finally touched down in houston, details will come later
TG: well im assuming youre off doing something with tz or egderp
TG: ill check back later
TG: i love you kitkat
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:15 -
CG: DAVE?
CG: FUCK. I'M SORRY.
CG: ARE YOU STILL THERE?
CG: I'M GLAD YOU HAD A SAFE FLIGHT AND I LOVE YOU TOO, DAVE.
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:29 -
Minutes pass as you waited with tears falling down your face, where they then pooled on the piano keys. He was gone yet again and if you hadn't been fucking around with your piano, you probably would have been able to have a small conversation with him. No matter how draining the conversations were for you afterwards when he inevitably had to leave again, they were always worth it.
You set your phone down again and took a deep breath as you stare down at the piano keys, pressing a few experimentally. The melodic tone sent shivers through your body and you imagined Dave sitting beside you, fucking up your small song with shitty raps as a huge shit-eating grin lit up his face. It seemed like the type of the thing he would do, and after you inevitably chewed him out for it, he would kiss you and kiss you until you eventually forgave his asshole tendencies. It wasn't hard to forgive Dave, you could never even find it in you to really be angry with him.
You close your eyes as you pictured a favorite memory of yours.
Dave had been baking all day for your birthday and he had actually put effort into producing a cake that fell a little flat of actually deserving the name of the word 'cake', but you didn't tell him this. You just wiped the flour from his nose and smiled at the complete mess that was your boyfriend. He had flour in his hair, egg yolk on his hands, batter on his shitty broken record shirt, and he had icing on his cheek. You're not sure how he could've possibly fucked up this badly and you looked down at the cake. It was burnt in a few places and the icing was messy. Cake bits littered around where he had spread the icing too hard and you smiled as you looked back at him.
'How long did this take you, Strider?'
The shit-eating grin that he gave you produced butterflies in your stomach and you swallowed hard.
'I burnt the first three cakes, so I'd say about... three hours? Maybe four?'
You wrapped your arms around him, not caring about the batter that got on you, 'Is that so? I'm glad you didn't end up asking Jane to help you. It means more that you went through the hassle of this by yourself.' He admitted.
Dave wrapped his own arms around you gently and he buried his face into your hair, 'I'd do anything to bring that smile to your face and I was going to present it to you all romantic-like but you came home a little too early.' He teased you softly.
'You're a dork, Strider.' You mumble into his chest affectionately.
'Yeah, but I'm your dork.' He kissed your head as he gently used your shirt to clean his hands off. Asshole.
The memory dissipated as you opened your eyes. You swallowed back your tears as your fingers flew over the keys fast. You didn't even know what you were playing anymore, but the melody made your insides ache along to it and your eyes smarted again.
Later that night, only when your fingers and back grew stiff from your constant playing, did you finally stop and you closed the piano lid slowly. It was tempting to play through the pain, but Dave's disappointed face flashed through your mind and you decided against this as you stood up on wobbly legs. You hadn't tried to move much for hours and the sudden movement made your head swim from disorientation and you steadied yourself against the piano before grabbing your phone and making a beeline to your bedroom.
You crashed hard as soon as you grabbed one of Dave's dirty shirts from the hamper and laid it on his pillow, which you had taken the liberty of sleeping with as of late. It was unsanitary but if anyone brought it up, you'd tell them to go fuck themselves.
March 11th, 2017
11:00am
Waking was the worst part of the day. You could almost pretend that Dave's warm body was pressed up against you but once you opened your eyes, the small smile that had started on your lips faded away. Another day, another empty bed.
You dragged yourself through the motions of your daily ritual only for Dave's sake. You brush your teeth, shower, and dress in one of Dave's ridiculous shirts that you both had bought on your trip to Disneyland two years before you even got together. It brought back memories and it was one of the last times that all of your friends had gotten together before you all went your separate ways across the globe. You recall all of the shitty rides that the bastard had convinced you to get on with him and you smile as a warmth filled your body.
It was short-lived as the silence of the house descended upon you and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before grabbing your keys and abruptly leaving the house. You needed some fresh air to clear your head.
3:45pm
You watch as the small, orange kitten explored its new home and you sit down on the hardwood floor as you set up the carrier. You didn't let the small baby out of your sight for even a second, who knows what the demon child would get up to.
Honestly, you don't really know how to explain yourself other than the fact that you had gotten pretty lonely and as the kitten waddled up to you, you can't help but to think that you made the right choice
3:57pm
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:57 -
CG: SO.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY BUSY WITH DIRECTING AND OTHER THINGS THAT I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT BUT I WENT OUTSIDE TODAY. ASTONISHING, I KNOW.
CG: ANYWAYS, WE NOW HAVE A KITTEN.
CG: SO, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO NAME THE GUY YET BUT WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.
CG: IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A PICTURE TO SATIATE YOUR CURIOSITY THAT I'M SURE YOU'RE EXPERIENCING BY NOW.
CG: /OrangeBallOfEvil
CG: WELL, I GUESS I'LL LEAVE YOU TO DO WHATEVER IT IS DIRECTORS DO OTHER THAN DIRECT SHITTY MOVIES THAT HAVE NO REAL PLOT.
CG: I LOVE YOU, DAVE
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:03 -
- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:08 -
TG: fuck
TG: im here
TG: that's gay
TG: getting a kitten
TG: especially a ginger kitten
TG: if i come back and you have no soul, im blaming that little fuzzball
TG: hell, the small demon probably will take over everything
TG: come home, catch you in bed with that kitten
TG: therell be a maury episode dedicated to it
TG: 'gay troll caught cheating on director boyfriend with kitten'
TG: itll be between dr phil breaking up yet another mother/daughter fight and maury telling three different men that the chick they slept with had a baby and one of them is a daddy
TG: i mean
TG: i know you wouldn't cheat on me with a kitty kitty, but like
TG: man idk
TG: tbh im done directing for the day, so ill just sit around and wait to talk to you
TG: unless i can talk to the gay karkalicious troll
TG: speaking of which, are you two present?
TG: i swear, its like youre barry and other barry
TG: get it?
CG: OKAY. LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN COMPARING ME TO A CYBORG.
CG: AND BEASTILIATY?
TG: OH PRAISE THE LAWRD HE ALIVE
TG: and i couldnt help myself
TG: bad, tasteless jokes are my thing
TG: i missed you, gorgeous
CG: WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING THAT I MISSED YOU AND YOUR MUG TOO.
TG: i would hope that you missed me
TG: so, hey
TG: barry
TG: and other barry
TG: its me
TG: your sexy katya with the removable robo vagina
CG: YOU'RE NOT EVEN RUSSIAN, DAVE.
TG: cant a man dream
TG: besides
TG: its been awhile since ive been in a russian
TG: my sexy, cherry flavored russian
CG: OH MY GOD.
CG: THAT BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER SUBJECT THAT WE SHOULD DISCUSS RIGHT AWAY.
CG:
CG: I MIGHT BE PREGNANT.
TG: youre what
TG: YOURE WHAT
TG: Y O U
TG: W H A T
CG: I'M PREGNANT, OKAY?
TG: i
TG: oh god
TG: oh fuck
TG: oh jesus fucking christ in a minivan full of kfc chicken
CG: DAVE?
TG: oh my living cock
TG: oh shitting duck balloons
TG: youre pregnant
TG: you are pregnant
CG: YES, I AM PREGNANT AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE, IT'S YOURS, FUCKNUT.
TG: well, i would hope so
TG: cause im almost 800% positive youve only been fucking me
TG: and id be very ashamed of that small little panicky thing if i wasnt the father
TG: just be like
TG: oh fuck
TG: gimme a sec
CG:
CG: IT'S BEEN A SECOND. WHAT'RE WE GOING TO DO? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT HUMANS AND TROLLS COULD REPRODUCE TOGETHER.
TG: i just googled it
TG: yeah, they can, however, its usually trolls getting humans pregnant
TG: not the other way around
TG: um, idk what were gonna do
TG: you should schedule a doctors appointment, see how far along you are and if everything is good so far though
CG: DAVE, I REALLY WISH YOU WERE HERE. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING GRUBS.
TG: ill have to talk to my coworkers and everything, but im getting a plane ticket for this weekend
TG: i am not letting you be alone during this
CG: YOU'RE COMING HOME?
TG: yes, im coming home
TG: what else would i be doing, joining the kkk and shaving my head to rename myself alec baldwin
CG: DAVE, OH MY GOD.
CG: WELL, NOW THAT THE WOULD BE ROMANTIC MOMENT IS RUINED BECAUSE OF *SOMEONE* IT'S GETTING KIND OF LATE AND I'M HUNGRY. I SHOULD GET OFF AND MAKE SOMETHING. UNLESS, YOU WANT TO CALL ME?
TG: ill call you
TG: cant wait to hear your voice
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:34 -
After closing the app, a genuine smile graced your lips and you walked off to the kitchen as you waited for his call. Soon, 'What's New Pussycat' rang out through the kitchen and you answered your phone right away. You're not really sure when that song had become Dave's ring tone but you weren't in the mood to change it.
"Dave?" Your voice came out gruff from disuse and you cleared your throat before trying again. "Dave?"
"BWAH, BWAH, WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT!?" Dave's voice had never been more pleasing to hear, nor had it ever been as dorky. He let out a small chuckle. "Hey, Karkat." He spoke normally this time, and it was as if every and all boners united and made a heavenly choir.
"So, you're the asshole who changed your own ring tone to something so annoying that I'm pretty sure it just gave our grub brain damage." You drawled out slowly in an annoyed tone.
"Well, first of all, our unborn child is becoming educated, and besides that, it probably can't hear yet. Maybe. I don't know. But, you should set up an appointment to see a doctor. Unless you rather wait until I get there so that I can come with you." There was the sound of bedsprings squeaking, and it was clear to you that Dave was currently in bed.
You pause as you let this information sink in and you put a pizza in the oven, "David Elisabeth Strider, I swear to God if you're masturbating while talking to me, then I'll… Well, I don't really know what I'd do but we're supposed to be talking about important things and if I know you half as well as I think I do, I know you're probably getting off to my voice and picturing me naked." You frowned as you sat down at the kitchen table.
"Well, I'm picturing you naked now, since you brought it up."
"You're impossible." You huffed softly as you made yourself comfortable. "And I have an appointment scheduled on Monday."
"I'm not even masturbating, you're safe." He chuckled.
Your stomach lurched and you groaned quietly as your eyes darted to the shitty R2D2 trash can that sat innocently beside the table, "Shut the… fuck up." You pulled the trash can close and there went your breakfast.
"Karkat?! Karkat, are you okay!? Babe?!" Dave sounded pretty concerned, and so very much heard you lose your breakfast.
You sent a small glare towards your phone and your stomach lurched again, this time you only dry-heaved and you groaned. The acrid taste in your mouth was overwhelming and you just really wanted it to stop.
"Karkat, when you're able to, get some water and lay down, okay? I'll be flying in in about two or three days, so you won't have to be alone for very long." Dave's voice was riddled with concern and worry, he usually babied you when you were sick, and it probably killed him to not be able to be there to take care of you.
You cleaned yourself up after the dry heaving finally stopped and then you laid down on the cool linoleum. It felt nice on your hot cheeks. "Are you going to hang up on me now?" You asked in a voice that was rougher than usual.
"No, I'm not going to hang up on you. Honestly, I'm half-tempted see if you would be willing to Skype call so that I can make sure you're okay."
You snorted a little, "You worry too much, Strider." You pulled your device away from your ear and you hit the video option anyways. Soon, you were staring at your pasty grey face and you made a face at the camera.
"What a sexy face you got there." Dave joked, turning his video on. Sure enough, he was in bed, wearing clothes for once. Dave was never known to wear more than a pair of boxers to bed. But here he was, with a shirt on, in bed, with messy hair and that dorky smile of his. It made your heart pound heavily in your chest.
"I missed you." You finally whisper and you wiped at your eyes when tears threatened to fall down.
"I missed you, too." He whispered back, moving to lay down. "I'll be there soon, Karkat, you don't have to miss me for much longer."
"Lalonde and Egbert are going to have to fight me for your attention when you get back. I don't care that she released another wizard book and I don't care that Egbert finally met Nicolas Cage and realized that, hey, he's a shitty actor and he wasted years of his life admiring the man. I just want you to pay attention to me for at least a day before you eventually go back around and talk to your friends. I just want a day with you." You whispered.
"Honestly, the only other person you'll have to fight for for my attention will have to be our unborn child, and I'll be with you for at least four days before I catch up with friends. You're what matters most to me." He whispered back.
You shifted on the floor uncomfortably and sigh, "I feel like a dictator. If you really want to spend your first few days back with your friends, it's okay. I just want some time too." You gazed at Dave's face gently.
"You're not a dictator, babe. I'm wanting to spend time with you because it's what I want. I missed you, and I'm going to spend time with you." He smiled softly at him. "I'm going to spend time with the both of you, and we're going to discuss what we'll be doing."
"Okay, Strider. That sounds agreeable." You ran your thumb over his face gently and sigh again. "When will you have to go back?"
"Not sure, I'll have to discuss it with some people, producers and such. Might be two months, might be longer. I'm just going to say that it's-"
"I want to go with you when you have to go back." You interrupted. "I know you won't have a lot of time for me but I'll feel better if we can at least share a bed together."
He swallowed hard, "Really? You'll come back with me?" His voice was filled with relief, and his eyes were starting to glisten.
"Yes, really, you asshole. Why wouldn't I want to be with you?" You huffed as an orange kitten climbed onto your chest and pawed at the screen. "Brave Sir Robin would like to come with us too."
"Brave Sir Robin can come with us, and he'll share a bed with us if you don't mind." He gave you a small smile. "But, you've never offered to come with me, and besides that, I've always been worried about your job."
Guilt blossomed in the center of your chest and you looked away from the screen, "I just… The Hollywood scene may be for some people but I don't really like the idea of having your assistants flock all over me and besides, I'd feel more like a bed warmer than anything." You worry your lip as you think about LA. "But, I suppose I could find something to do while you're busy directing people around."
"Karkat, you won't be a bed warmer, and I could make sure my assistants don't flock you." He whispered softly.
"Okay." A small smile stirred at your lips and you looked back at him, "I may have gotten fired a week ago from my job."
"And there's my classy Kitten that I know and love." He gave a loving look. "I'll stay long enough to join you at your appointment and have catch up time with you, and some friends, then we'll come back here together "
You roll your eyes at your boyfriend and you sat up a little, "Yeah, okay. And for the record, I only got fired because they found out that I had mafia connections." A thought occurred to you and you frowned. "What if the media find out about me and my… family? Won't it ruin your image?"
"First of all, if the media started digging into your shit to try and ruin my image, they've got another thing coming. Besides, I've got mafia connections as well, and it's not just from you, so if anything, I'd rather my own image get tainted by my own hand than some TMZ intern trying to throw dirt at you."
You purse your lips and you take your pizza out of the oven and you flipped the camera to show him it, "Jealous, Strider?" You smirked a little.
"Yes, because I have Chinese food and I miss having you cook for me and babying me because of my lack of kitchen skills." He said sarcastically, smiling lovingly at him.
"Flattery will get you everywhere." You cut your pizza up and then sat down at the table with it. "Are you sure you can't fly back earlier?"
"I can try and fly after shooting tomorrow, but I'll end up there pretty late at night. You'd probably be asleep when I get home."
"I'll leave the door unlocked for you." You assure him.
"Thank you." He smiled softly.