A/N: This has nothin to do with my other series "The Fury Scrolls". So yeah, don't be thinking
this is happening any time soon ;) To experience the TRUE feeling of this Songfic
I suggest downloading the song "You can still be free" by Savage garden!
Another Note: This isa SONGFIC. Told from the point of view of a regretfull DeathEater.
Telling of his initiation, his guilt and basically his feelings. Umm, it's kinda angsty
and depressing. It's rated pg13 because of the situation and because of the "colorful" language...
(aka, swearing) ;)
You can Still be Free
A song fic
By Ophelia
Song By Savage Garden.
Cool breeze and Autumn leaves,
Slow motion daylight...
I can go back to that cold, wet night. The day I joined the dark side. God! I was such a naive fool, all I ever wanted was power. I was a lonely, slob of a 25 year old. A basic failure. After I had left Hogwarts, I rode from muggle town to muggle town, stealing and drinking up. Ten days after my 26th birthday, I signed the eternal binding contract to Death himself. I remember the crunch of leaves as they led me to the hidden den. I had been brought there to pass my loyalty test, my initiation. Hardly morning, rains streaming down my back, I killed her.
A lone pair of watchful eyes
Oversee the living
Feel the presence all around...
He was watching me the whole time, the red eyes burned into the back of my head as I looked at the frightened muggle girl standing in front of me. He was the one who decided if I lived, if I passed the test. Only now do I know that I was already fucking dead. It's so clear, that night, I didn't want to... Kill I mean. I still wanted to have a sence of belonging. It was just bursting in me. I wanted to run from him, from that place. But I couldn't, he was all around. everywhere. I can still feel his evil gaze and the snakelike voice, "Hurry now! Kill her... show me your loyalty to the Dark Side... Or ar you afraid? Because we do not tolerate fools." Of course I was afraid! Shit, I wanted to scream outloud. But fear overwhelmed me. Two minutes later, she became my victim. My first victim of many.
A tortured soul
A wound unhealing
No regrets or promises...
I heard him say "Welcome. You have proven your loyalty. Welcome to the family." Family? "And like family, you have an eternal bond with me. Forever is eternity. Your loyalty to the darkside shall never waver, for there are consequences." I relived that night over and over in my head. I started drinking again, to escape my guilt. To make the fear dull down. To make me forget the dark mark that was incrypted to my arm. The horrid eyes always watching what I was doing. "Forever..." I would often slip into pits of depression where I would only crawl out to do the "Masters" bidding. I must have killed 50 harmless muggles and various wizards for him. at the time, I thought it was for me too...
The past is gone
But you can still be free..
If time would set you free...
Do you know how many times I wished that I could go back in time? Not have killed that first, harmless girl? Not have that undieing lust for power? Neither do I... They say time heals all wounds. That's bull. It's just giving you more time to see how bad I fucked my life up. It seems all my questions go unanswered, I once asked the Dark Lord "Why must the calling hurt?" and he simply spat that venomous liquid in his mouth at me... I have a scar right under my eye...
Time to Spread your wings,
To take to flight
The life endeavor
Aim for the burning sun,
You're trapped inside...
It's been ten long years since that fateful, rainy day. I've tried to leave before, but fear brought me running back. Not to mention the torture. Have you any idea how painful it is to endure 2 hours, straight, of the cruciatus curse? I do. But I'm determined this time. I'm going to break these chains. I'm going to be free...
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
But it's a long long way to go...
The ministry granted me immunity when I confessed. I remember shouting "Immunity to what?! He's more powerful than you think..." I blew the socks of that asshole Fudge. I feel better, more calm than I've ever been, since I told them those names. But I can still those anguished screams, the rain falling, the burning flesh...
Keep Moving way up high
You see the light
It shines forever
Sail through the crimson skies
The purest light,
That sets you free...
I had this drean last night. I was flying over this huge battle, wizard and beast. Evil agains good. Killing, mauling, everything that He told us would happen, the day we were victorious. It was ttrue war... Then there was this mountain, and at the top was the brightest, most cleansing light. I flew higher, below me was the blood stained battle field, staining the sky death. I kept reaching for the light, and it got brighter... then green. I opened my eyes and I was back at that stormy night. "Avada Kedavra!" I heard myself shout. Then I woke up, surprised I was still alive. Surprised that He hadn't come yet. But I know he will. But I'll be free of his evil ways by then.
Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You're free to fly tonight
And you can still be free
And go to the high wind
Don't stop can go high
This night is strangly familiar. It was my night, 10 years ago. No, it was his night. Gained another soul... It scorches, burns, just as much as it did when he gave it to me. But it's gone forever. The dark mark that has plagued my being is faded. I'm finally happy...
Free to fly tonight...
He's come now, to take my happiness from me. My freedom... and I am strangly calm.
But you can still be free.
If time will set you free.
Disclaimer: The song is © by the sexy Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones of Savage Garden. DeathEaters, Voldemort, Fudge and AvadaKedavra are all ©JK Rowling (the master genious) The idea is ©ME! and umm.... yes!