A/N: heellllloooooooo guys!!!!, I'm back with a new story!!. Geez, I just
love doing one-shot, less stressful than multi-chapter fic. If you notice,
most of my stories are one-shot. So, on with the story!
Disclaimer : they say, if you love someone, you have to let him go, so...go Kenshin, you're not mine....:(...HHHUUUAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!
RED FLAG DAY!.
"Hey Busu, you broke my head!!!!" Yahiko's scream could be heard throughout Tokyo. His hands were wandering on his head, trying to make sure it was still there.
"As if you can do anything with it!!!!!!!!." Kaoru's scream almost made the walls vibrate. "Come here you brat!!!." She broke into a run, shaking the earth beneath her as she chased the poor Tokyo Samurai.. "Hiiiyaaahhhh!!"
"Hahah..come and get me, you ugly old hag!!!!" Yahiko, unable to use his head, only provoked Kaoru further. He ran as fast as he could along the corridor, turning around several times to see a fierce Kaoru going after him.
"What did you say, you shrimp???!!!!" Kaoru raced up faster, when she saw....
She stopped, screeching. Yahiko kept on running, but when he looked back at Kaoru, he noticed she was not running after him anymore. Instead, she was smiling broadly. He wondered why. But still, he kept on running, and running and running till....
"Urrkkk!!!!" he got the answer instantly. The crash with Misao rolled them both on the floor.
"Yiiiioouuchhh!!!" Misao that was walking out from the kitchen to bring her Aoshi-sama a cup of tea was now sprawled on top of Yahiko, the cup landed nicely on the floor, spilling out all of its content. "Now look at what you did, brat!!!!!!" she gripped the tray tightly then smashed it into Yahiko's face. "That was for Aoshi-sama!!!!"
Yahiko was pinned to the floor with Misao's legs straddling him, and her hands choking him. "Ugh...Busu chased me!!!, not my fault!!!." His hands were flailing wildly. "Hey weasel!!!. Lemme gooo!!!!!"
"SHADDUP!!!!" Misao gripped his neck tighter, shaking him wildly. "You're gonna pay for this!!!!!"
Then they heard a soft voice. "Sure you are, Yahiko-chan...." Looming above him was an evil Kaoru, looking ready to eat him. "Misao-chan, now we can tie him up and burn him, ne?"
"No, I'll rip his body into pieces first!!!" Misao's eyes were burning and she grinned, showing off gleaming teeth. "Limb by limb...."
"Then I'll tear his heart out and squeeze it like a sponge!!!!" Kaoru continued, eyes glinting with ultimate evil.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" their eerie laughter filled the air. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
"UUGGHH!!!!HELP ME!!!I DON'T WANNA DIE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Aoshi, as usual, was out on the porch, meditating. His stoic demeanor remained the same for hours. As for Kenshin, he had already slumped in his spot after trying to imitate, well, not imitate, but trying his hands at meditating as well.
"Ne, Aoshi-san, how do you do that?. My uh, backside is numb from hours of sitting." Kenshin rubbed his bottom, but couldn't feel any sensation at all. Oh Kami, I think I've gone crippled!!!. My pretty ass...
Still keeping his eyes closed, Aoshi started his explanation to the poor rurouni. "The sea and the beach are like the body and the soul. The sea, always moving, gently and violently compared to the stillness of the beach, but still"
"Orooo.....sessha hasn't gone to the beach for such a loooonngg time, Aoshi-san." Kenshin cut him short. The truth was, Aoshi was going around the bush but he preferred to cut the bush off. I'm starting to wonder how this ninja boy taught his students when he was the Okashira before...poor those ninjas, and Miss Misao.
Misao had told him that Kaoru asked him to go to the market to buy some food for the celebration tonight. I should be going now, or it'd be too late.
He started to stand when
"Oi, Kenshin!!!. You see the fox here today?" yes, that was Sano, chewing his fishbone as usual.
"Megumi-dono?, no, sessha hasn't seen her today." He replied, shaking his head. "Why?."
"Nothing." The rooster-head looked around, then he saw
"Hey, ninja boy. There you are!!." He smacked Aoshi in his back with loud 'whack'.
Aoshi's head jerked forward, his eyes looked as if they'd jumped out of the socket any second later. So this was how a 'surprised' Aoshi looked like.
"Er, Sano...the wave shouldn't be too strong...." Kenshin said with caution. I don't want a pissed ninja here...
Sano blinked his eyes a couple of times, then bent down, eyes the same level with Kenshin's. "Wave?..what wave?"
Ignoring him, Kenshin addressed Aoshi. "Ano..Aoshi-san, guess the sea is quite rough today, ne?". He turned his head, facing Sano. "Gomen, Sano, sessha has to go to the market now." Without further explanation, he turned and headed straight to the gate.
"Oi, wait for me, I'm coming with ya!!!." He spit his fishbone out and followed Kenshin. Maybe he can snatch a few goodies in town later. Suddenly, he stopped. An idea popped up in his head. hehehehehehe...
"Hey, ninja boy!. Come along!!!." He started back to Aoshi.
Aoshi, furious that an uninvited 'wind' has wrecked a 'storm' in his 'sea', he refused the invitation by shutting his eyes tighter.
"Ninja boy, get your butt off the floor, since you're eating tonight, you should be carrying the food too!." Sano smirked, and all but dragged Aoshi from his peaceful 'sea' to the crowded market. "You don't wanna let that skinny guy out there to carry things alone, right, ninja boy?"
"Don't call me ninja boy." Aoshi hissed. Sano raised his eyebrow, and smirked again.
"Ice box finally speaks!!." He grinned.
Aoshi replied with a death glare. "Or ice box."
So the guys were off to the market.
Meanwhile, at the dojo.....
"Geez..what makes you real pissed off today, weasel?" Yahiko asked while scrubbing the floor.
A kunai missed his ear with a 'swish'.
"We beautiful ladies never talk with a slave. And you, watch your tongue or you'll lose it soon!!." Misao yelled from the porch while sitting with Kaoru. Instead of brewing a new cup of tea for her Aoshi-sama, she and Kaoru sat together, sipping tea while torturing Yahiko. What a peaceful evening.....
The men have all gone to the market to buy the stuff they need tonight. So the evening was quiet and nice enough, with Yahiko's constant muttering and bickering.
"Ne Misao-chan, what makes you real angry today?. I mean, you beat Yahiko real good just now." Kaoru asked while sipping her hot tea slowly.
"He spilled my Aoshi-sama's tea!!!." Misao pursed her lips, her cup halfway to her mouth.
Kaoru raised one eyebrow, "Your Aoshi-sama?."
"..........."
"Misao-chan?"
"............"
"You treat him like a God, but that good-for-nothing guy never even pay any attention to you." She remarked.
"Whaaaat??!!!" Misao choked. "Good-for-nothing???!!!!."
Kaoru looked straight into Misao's fire-lighted eyes. "Yes. A shrimp. He never speaks to you. Let alone ask you out."
"Tsk...how cruel...I never knew you're this cruel, Kaoru-chaaannnn!!!!" Misao whined. "That's the truth. Why, he even" Misao cut her off. "Huh!!." She stood up straight. "That skinny Himura is worse!." "Oh yeah?!!" Kaoru stood up straight, facing Misao. "Why is that, Misao?!" Misao imitated Kenshin's voice. "Kaoru-dono...sesha this..sessha that...that man is pathetic!!."
"You....."
Now both girls looked at each other with deathly glares, hands firmly locked on their hips, ready for battle.
"And he hasn't even gotten the blasted courage to ask you out, Kaoru!!!"
"Hmmpphh!!." Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest. "The pot calls the kettle black!."
"Your rurouni is chicken!!" Misao stuck her tongue out.
"Whhhhaaaaattt!!!!!!!. Your Aoshi is" Kaoru was ready to rip Misao's tongue out when suddenly a shrieking laughter interrupted.
"OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!" we know who's that. "Tanuki and weasel fighting, I see."
"Get out of this, Megumi!!!." Kaoru warned.
"Yeah, get out you slimy fox. This is between us!!."Misao growled. "Himura is a CHICKEN!!!!!" she repeated.
"No way!!!!. He's just....just...shy." Kaoru admitted sulkily. "or waiting for the right moment." She amended.
"Ken-san will never like lil' children like you, tanuki." Megumi flipped her long black hair over her shoulders. "He likes me!."
"Just keep your hands on that rooster-head!!!!" Kaoru yelled at the top of her lungs.
Megumi smoothed her long hair. "I prefer to have them both."
"Wicked slimy fox!!!!. Wait till I get you!!!!." Kaoru screamed. "Misao, gimme my bokken!."
"Ken-san certainly prefers feminine women, like me." Megumi still hasn't budged from her spot. "You are too boyish."
"..........."
"What, no argument?" Megumi smirked. "You don't give up this easily,ne?"
"............................."
Misao went closer to Kaoru. "Kao-chan?."
".................."
There were tiny crystal beads on the corners of her eyes. Her azure eyes looked misty, her cheeks slightly flushed. Megumi has hit a sensitive spot.
"Megumi, apologize!!." Misao commanded.
They all sit around the table. Kaoru looked down, defeated. Misao tried to calm her. Megumi looked only slightly uneasy.
"Come on, Kaoru-chan. What's wrong?. You don't get upset easily." Megumi poured herself a cup of tea, though uninvited. "What's wrong?." She prodded again.
"..........." Silence.
Then, "It's...." Kaoru finally opened her mouth.
Megumi and Misao waited patiently. Well, it's not everyday you get to hear secrets from Kaoru.
"I'M HAVING MY MENSTRUAL!!!!!!!." Kaoru wailed. "It's damn freaking annoying!!!!!."
Megumi and Misao blinked, then simultaneously replied. "Me too!!."
"That explains why we are all so grumpy today." Megumi huffed.
"You're grumpy everyday, fox!." Kaoru spat.
"No need to be so cruel, tanuki." Megumi spat back.
An innocent Misao asked, "Why?"
"You tell her, Megumi. You're the doctor." Kaoru sipped her tea.
"Oh right, we have a kid right here." She elegantly made herself more comfortable, ignoring death threats from Misao. "You see, during the menstrual cycle, your hormones are quite unbalanced. At some times, your estrogen level is higher than your progesterone level, but this may change during the cycle. These changes, actually, affects your moods and so........"
Meanwhile, on the bridge....
"Sessha thought you're not coming along, Aoshi." Kenshin smiled his rurouni smile at Aoshi, whose face was very sour since he was hauled out of his peaceful 'sea'.
"Say thanks to that rooster-head." Aoshi hissed slowly.
"I heard that, ninja boy!." Sano growled.
"Maa..maa...sessha doesn't need two boys tagging along to the market." Kenshin, being the baka deshi as always, failed to use the right words to sooth the two 'boys'.
"Did you say 'boys', Kenshin?." Sano gripped the opening of his gi tightly and brought his eyes closer to Kenshin's. "You come along with me tonight, and let's see who's the real 'man' , Kenshin!."
"Oroooo...." Kenshin gulped. Of course I'm a man. I am, after all, the infamous Hitokiri Battousai!." He groped for air, croaking. "That's not a good idea, Sano. Sessha has to help Kaoru-dono with the clean-up tonight. After the celebration."
He let Kenshin down, with a thud, then walked away chewing his fishbone. "Uh..oh..that's right. Well, next time."
"Why don't you ask Aoshi. Sessha's sure heAAARRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Sano turned around, saw nothing, then he heard the ever so deafening scream above his head. "WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!"
Kenshin, the legendary Hitokiri Battousai who had killed millions, maybe trillions screamed when he tried to save himself from falling after accidentally stepping on a blasted banana skin. Who would've thought that the deadly Battousai can scream so LOUD!!. In his attempt to save his pretty butt from smashing the wooden bridge, he had launched a high jump using his godly speed. Thanks to his wonderful reflexes, he didn't land directly on the bridge. However, in his haste and panic, he missed his target and went flying down on poor Sanosuke, crashing his fishbone, and accidentally sent them straight into the river below!.
Aoshi just blinked, unable to take the sight of the screaming Battousai any longer. Is this the man I fought with before?. Is this?. Is it him?!! THIS CAN'T BE!!!IT'S A SHAME TO LOSE AGAINST A MAN LIKE THIS!!!
Meanwhile, Kenshin and Sano rocketed into the river with a LOUD SPLASH!!!!. Then SPLISH!!AARRGGGHHH!!!SPLASH!!!PPFFRRTTTT!!!!!!DAMN...PPFFRTT...RUROU..SPLAASSHHH !!!!!!
Kenshin, due to his sorry height was soaked in the river before he finally arose and took gulps of air and water at the same time. The water reached his chin, so he had to stand upright to avoid 'drinking' the water. His long hair was plastered on his face like a wet towel, blocking his whole view. He struggled to push them back, spurting water in the process. His vision was blurred still but he could hear faint screams. Faint?. If it's Sano then it will never be faint...then it must be his own ears. He bent slightly on his sides, knocking the water out of his ears, and brain. Then the voice got louder, higher pitched. Okay, now that's really Sano. He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his view. When finally he did clear his view, what he saw made him want to sink back again and laughed his heart out.
Sano was thrashing wildly in the river like a poor baby!.
With his height, he's only soaked from his shoulders downwards. But he was thrashing hysterically, his eyes were closed tightly and his hands were flailing helplessly as if he was going to die any second. He kept shouting, "DAMN KENSHIN...ppffrrttt...DAMN!..ICAN'TSWIM!!!"
Kenshin stared at him, open-mouthed. He looked up and saw Aoshi looking down at them, eyes wide with disbelief. Aoshi's surely getting schizophrenia or manic depression after this. He must be having trouble with whatever he was seeing. The Great Battousai screaming like a girl and the brutal Zanza thrashing like a kid. Which one is worse?.
Kenshin stood still. He still couldn't believe his eyes. Maybe they're playing stupid tricks on me.." He rubbed his eyes again, ferociously this time. Unfortunately, the scene before him was still the same. Sano thrashing in the shallow river.
Aoshi, who has broken out from his stupor, finally decided to save that poor baka rooster-head's ass. He jumped into the river, in all his ninja- ish glory and landed in an elegant splash in front of the rooster head. Smirking slightly for his black elegant ninja outfit was soaked and drenched; he started to 'save' Sano, with pure disgust.
He took out his kodachis, one in each hand, and drew one long sword against Sano's throat. "SHADDUP, YOU MORON!." He growled savagely. Seeing no reaction from the still-thrashing rooster head, he drew up his left hand and smashed his fist under Sano's chin. Now that does it!!
Sano was thrown back, stupefied. Slowly scanning his surroundings, he stood up, rubbing his aching jaw. "Why'd you do that??!!"
Sheathing his kodachis, Aoshi drawled, "To stop you from screaming like a baby!."
Still rubbing his jaw, Sano eyed Kenshin. "If it's not for the damn rurouni, nobody will be down here."
"Not my fault. It was the banana skin." Kenshin innocently replied.
The ninja boy was not about to be left out. He mumbled something, at least. "Now I'm wet."
"I know that ninja." Sano replied. "I should spread the word of the fearless Zanza crying for life!" Aoshi spat back. "......"
Kenshin smiled wickedly. Yeah, Aoshi!!. Yeah!!!.
They all walked out from their nice 'swim', everybody mumbling and blaming each other. "where's that stinkin' banana skin?"..mumbles mumbles "saved your ass, rooster!"...mumbles "stop it..." mumbles mumbles
They walked, and walked, occasionally stopped to wring their clothes in feeble attempt to dry them up. Not long after that, they all detected three blazing and flaring kis, ready to kill. They paused for a while, and searched for the source of the deadly battle auras. Simultaneously they all looked up and saw...three beasts in women bodies looking down at them with fire in their eyes, and smokes gushing out of their earlobes and flaring nostrils. Three very powerful kis enclosed in the bodies of, who else but Kaoru's, Misao's and even that ever-so-elegant Megumi's.
"Uh..Kenshin...." Sano fidgeted nervously.
"Ano..." Kenshin gulped.
"......." As always.....the Ice Box never really said anything....
Kaoru, Misao and Megumi looked fierce enough to kill the whole Japan, or as the Kenshin-gumi usually said, fierce enough to go-Battousai. Kaoru had a frown on her white face, making her looked like a ghost hungry for revenge. Misao had slits for her eyes then, her hands across her chest, her foot idly tapping the dojo floor. Megumi had an evil smirk on her face, her hands resting on her hips.
The foul-mouthed Sano never knew when to value his life. "Yo kitsune!. What's up?!"
'Kitsune' just glared back at him.
Sano nudged Kenshin with his elbow. Kenshin opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly he heard a faint cry.
"They've gone crazy today, Kenshin.... I am their slave, forever!!!!" It was Yahiko. He was...he was....Sano, Kenshin and Aoshi found it hard to believe. Yahiko was doing laundry!!!!.
The air was still for several seconds.
"Hey, that's my job!!!!." Kenshin spoke in near scream.
Heads were turned to his direction. "Anou...sessha just feel sorry for Yahiko, that's all." He answered sheepishly.
"You feel sorry, Kenshiiinnnn?."Kaoru asked softly, or rather purred.
"Sessha does, Kaoru-dono, really." Kenshin nodded. Sano and Aoshi nodded as well.
"Well....WE ARE SORRIER!!!!" Kaoru whacked his head with a magical bokken that appeared from nowhere.
"Ackk!!." Came Kenshin's reply. Guess she keeps that around all the time.
"Geez...that hurts!." Sano eyed Kenshin. then he eyed Megumi, giving her his sexy stare and grin. "Hey Fox, I'm wet here. Gimme a towel to dry myself up, or you can do it for me?."
"THE HELL WITH TOWELS!!!!." Her blood-curdling scream nearly made him jump. "FREEZE YOUR STUPID ASS OUT THERE!!"
Kaoru stopped whacking Kenshin. "Now where's the stuff we asked you to buy?!!. And why are you all wet?!!"
"Orororo Kaoru-dono...sessha.." Kenshin stuttered.
"Don't you dono or sessha me, rurouni!." Kaoru cut in.
Stubborn Sano tried to enter the dojo, but he was sent sprawling on the lawn by Kaoru. "DON'T YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY FEET IN MY HOUSE!!!!."
"Got that, rooster head?" Megumi squeezed in.
"We have a feast tonight, and it's already evening and you haven't even bought one single thing!!!. Don't ever think to get in my house in that wet clothes!!!!" Kaoru continued.
Mentally shaking his head over the incidents before him, Aoshi merely shrugged and looked at Misao, silently asking for dry towels. Misao, as if she understood his meaning, immediately went into the house. Heh..knew the girl has the hots for me!. Hah!!pity you Battousai. He smirked in pride. Kenshin and Sano 'hmph-ed'.
Misao came running back with a fresh towel in her hands. Going forwards, she thrust the towel out for the great okashira. "You want this, Aoshi- samaaaa......?"
Aoshi, so confident that he'll get the towel after all, merely nodded.
Misao lifted her brows, taking back the towel and hugged it to her bosom. "That's not enough, Aoshi-sama!."
Aoshi raised one eyebrow, questioning her actions. Kaoru has stopped whacking Kenshin and Megumi has stopped beating Sano, everyone was waiting for Misao's next reaction.
Misao just smiled, and hugged the towel tighter. She raised up her left hand to inspect her nails. "Umm...should I give it to you?."
Aoshi mentally nodded vigorously. On the outside, his demeanor was always the same. Stoic, cold and unyielding.
She let down her hand, looked at Aoshi straight in his eyes, and spat out, "You can freeze your sorry ass out there this time!!!!MHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" She stuck her tongue out and marched back inside, followed by Kaoru and Megumi. Aoshi stood stock-still, his jaw hanging open, his eyes blinking in utter disbelief. His little sweet innocent angel Misao has turned into a monster!!. Leave her to tanuki and fox for a day, and you get this... I...I......... Now he was 'truly' speechless.....
"Wow!. Can't believe the weasel had it in her!!." We know who's stupid enough to say that. "Hey Kenshin, I've told you this several times before."
"What?"
"Women are scary." Sano nodded vigorously. "See what weasel did to Ice Box."
Kenshin did so. "Ororo...now the 'sea' has gone silent, ne Aoshi?." Aoshi was so still you can mistake him as a statue. He looked as if he has just received a death penalty. Now you know how it feels to be rejected, ne Aoshi?
And so the ex-fighter-for-hire, the ex-Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu and the ex-Hitokiri Battousai 'freeze their sorry asses' out there, literally drying themselves up in the sun. "Think of it as sunbathing, guys!." Sano said, trying to make himself better. Yahiko continued scrubbing the clothes while muttering curses for Busu and Weasel, one curse for one scrub.
Late that evening, three grown men marched their way to the market in stiff clothes and stiff stares. Sano repeated over and over again, "Watch your steps,Kenshin.". Aoshi kept giving Kenshin death glares that clearly said, "You step on 'anything' again, and I'll tear off your skin like people do on bananas!.". Kenshin shuddered all the way to the market.
They bought all the necessary things and went straight home and dumped all the things in the kitchen.
The girls were all busy, preparing for the feast tonight. They had their sleeves all rolled up cooking for tonight. It wasn't much of a feast actually, just a small gathering when Aoshi and Misao were there. But looking at the atmosphere, nobody will think a feast was on the way. A funeral looked much more fitting.
Kenshin, worried that Kaoru might burn the kitchen, strolled in and offered his help. Unfortunately for him...
"Get out!!." Three female-hitokiri-Battousais snarled back at him.
"Hai, hai..sessha will get out.." Kenshin nervously agreed.
"Sent out, Kenshin?." Sano smirked when he saw Kenshin running out from the kitchen. Aoshi beside him was still, statue-ish.
"Hmmpphh.."
"What's wrong with the girls today?. Even your 'territory' is conquered." Sano said, meaning the kitchen.
"Busu and Weasel just got crazy today. I wonder why." Yahiko spoke silently. "Even Megumi acts weird."
The feast proceeded in silence. Even Yahiko was not wolfing down his food. I was right, it looked like a funeral. The girls sat together, side by side while the guys sat on their opposite. The air was full of hostility; you can almost see electric sparks flying across the groups. The tension was unbearable it might explode any minute then. Doctor Genzai was grabbed by Sano to join the guys, so he was separated from her grandchildren. Ayame and Suzume, weren't forgotten, they were pulled by the girls to join the female squad.
And nobody, not even that lousy Sano dared to criticize the unfortunate meal cooked by Kaoru.
"Well!." Announced Kaoru, "now that we've finished, let's go, girls!!." She stood up quickly, and waited for Megumi and Misao.
"You guys do the washing up!." Misao cheered, eyes riveted to Aoshi, mentally imagining how he'd look like surrounded with soaps and suds.
"We wouldn't want to be sweating coz we have sexy handsome guys to chase tonight!!!"Megumi continued.
"Hey, Kitsune, I'm sexy enough!!." Sano yelled.
"And dumb as well." Megumi quipped. Sano sweat-dropped.
"IT'S GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!" Kaoru cheered, followed by Misao and Megumi. "OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!" her shrill laughter echoed down the corridor as they walked to their rooms.
They watched the girls walk away in confusion. Are they possessed by demons while the guys were out at the market?. Even Aoshi looked confused and helpless. Yahiko was slumped at one corner, trying to fight indigestion.
Kenshin broke the silence. "Anou..it's not safe for women to wander at the streets at night." He scratched his head.
"They don't wander, they plan to 'roam' the streets, Battousai." Aoshi replied.
"Wow, ninja!. Very observant!!"Sano whacked Aoshi's back.
"I was trained to do that." He replied. "Whatever is wrong with them, anyway?"
Now that's the shock of the century. Kenshin, Sano and Yahiko blinked a couple of times. The enigma, the genius Aoshi finally asked a question. Aoshi answers, not asks!.
"I heard they said something about....men..mens..." Yahiko scratched his head and rolled his eyes, trying to recall the scene.
Aoshi was the first to dash at Yahiko and held him by his neck. Eyes threatening, all three males growled savagely at him. "Did you say men, Yahiko?!!" Aoshi whispered softly.
Yahiko struggled to break free from Aoshi's death grip. "No..wait, I haven't finished yet."
"Phew!." Aoshi released him. "Then, what's that?"
"It's...it's...menst..." Sano shook Yahiko's small body. "Whaaattt???!!!!!"
"It's menstrual. Yeah, they were talking about menstrual. Menstrual, what's that?. A poison?" At last, Yahiko got the damn word out.
All three males gaped back at him. "Did you say menstrual?"
Yahiko nodded.
All of them burst out laughing. Yeah, even Aoshi.
Kenshin was the first to stop laughing. His face was lightly tinted with red. Oro!. I thought Kaoru has found another man!!!.
Sano clutched his belly, still unable to stop. Hah!!...I thought I've lost my sexiness!!!
Aoshi rolled on the floor. He was the most relieved after all. My Misao- chan still loves me!!!!!hahaha!!!she's still MY angel!!! See Battousai?! Sagara??!!hahahaha!!!
"Oi!! Why are you guys laughing?!! It's not funny, I was enslaved for the whole day because of this!!. This menstrual thing, whatever it is, is very powerful!!." Yahiko sulked in the corner alone, watching those three guys laughing until they cried. Even Doctor Genzai was chuckling. What's this menstrual thing, anyway? "Oi, tell me!!!"
"Wait till you get older, Yahiko-CHAN!!!" Sano laughed at him.
"Tell me!!! Hey, come on!!" Yahiko urged.
"Sessha thinks we have to wait until you get older, Yahiko." Kenshin gently patted Yahiko's back while drying his own eyes.
Aoshi merely nodded. Doctor Genzai finally said, "I'll tell you later, ne Yahiko-chan?"
Yahiko refused.
Kenshin started. "It's an..."
"Adult thing." Sano finished.
"Is it evil?." Yahiko asked silently.
"Oh my..." Kenshin gawked. He almost ran to Kaoru and smooch her there and then. Dressed in a dark blue kimono, with motifs of butterflies and small intricate flowers adorning her outfit, dark raven hair tied up in a matching blue ribbon, her pouty lips lightly tinted with red, and her white face blushing slightly, she was incomparable. Orooo!!Guaranteed to turn every man on!!. Especially a particular rurouni!!. Oh no, can't let her out tonight! Can't let her out!!!!
"Hey sexy lady!!!. Come on here!!" Sano walked over to Megumi in his sexy stride, catching the slender woman by her waist and pulled her closer for a kiss. Different from her usually doctor-ish style, Megumi had on a vibrant ruby kimono, as if matching the fiery desire Sano had for her. Her long shiny hair was lightly blown by the soft breeze. Megumi eyed him with a sexy glance. Gosh! Didn't know fox can be this sexy!!. I'll definitely screw her up tonight!!!!woof!!
"............." The Ice Box never really said anything. Misao had gone very far to make sure she'd look desirable tonight, but the only thing that fool Aoshi managed to do was gawk at her. The only sound he managed to tear out was only a croak. Oh my, now he was truly speechless, again. His chibi Misao was not a lil' girl anymore. Look at her boobs, Aoshi. That's a WOMAN!!!. Not a girl!!. You must be dumb, or blind all these years!!. Kami look at her!!!. Oh my GOD!!! Misao had left her long hair free from the braid she usually had. The soft tresses lay across her slim back sexily, moving with volume when she moved around. The kimono she wore, an emerald green kimono contrasted with her white skin, plus the light tint on her lips, made her look older, more matured, and sexier.
"Come on, girls!!!. Tonight is ours!!!." Kaoru, as the squad leader, cheered.
Megumi slapped Sano away, "Yeah, I can't bear looking at this thick- headed man anymore!."
"Anou..Kaoru-dono...it's quite dangerous to" Kenshin started his lectures on safety measures around Tokyo before he was stopped by Misao.
"Shut up, Himura." Misao held out a set of flashing kunai in her hand. "I have this, and Kaoru-chan is strong enough."
"How about my Kitsune?!!" Sano wailed.
"Ugghhh...let's go girls!!." Megumi stomped away, followed by Sano.
"Kaoru-dono, sessha just.."
Kaoru cut in. "We're going to the Akabeko only." She lied, of course.
"Maa..you've been my dinner so why do you need another dinner?" Kenshin asked quickly.
"Whhhaaaattt??!!" Kaoru screamed.
"Huh?." Kenshin stuttered. "I mean, I've been your dinner, so...."
"Whhhaattt???!!!!" she screamed louder.
"No!!..No!!" Kenshin fell face-first to the floor. "sessha means.."
"I know what you mean, and no. we're still going out." Kaoru, still red from Kenshin's misspoken sentence, grabbed Misao's hand, leaving behind a silly looking rurouni and a blinking Aoshi. Poor Aoshi, too many surprises in a day.
"Come on, Megumi!." They passed Megumi. "Where's Sano?"
Megumi smiled her evil smile. "Oh, I just put him to sleep." She shrugged.
"That insufferable man, if he's really a man!!." Megumi frowned.
Far from the group of 'she-beasts', three men in long robes and hats sat huddled around a small table, eavesdropping.
"She questioned my manliness!!!!." Sano growled.
"Watch out, idiot. You'll give us in." Kenshin hissed.
"Oooppss..sorry." Sano grinned, scratching his head. "Oww..my head still hurts.."
Aoshi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Someone tell me why I have to dress in this ridiculous outfit!."
"I know you love your ninja outfit more." Sano whacked his back. "Think of your lil' Misao, wolfed down by some bastards!."
Aoshi immediately let his guard up, his senses alert.
"Aoshi-sama is waaaaayyy colder, Kaoru-chan!!" Misao replied to Kaoru's earlier remark about Kenshin.
"Hear that, ninja?!!." Sano grinned. "Give her some lovin', will ya?"
Aoshi glared.
"Nobody's colder than Kenshin!." Kaoru huffed. "Hmph!!"
"And you too, Kenshin!!." Sano continued giving advices.
"We don't maul our women like you do yours!!!." Kenshin and Aoshi defended themselves.
"And the problem is...", Tae started. "I LOVE HIM..." Kaoru, Megumi and Misao finished simultaneously.
Tae sighed. The men went, "AWWWW....."
"So, what's the plan for tonight, Kaoru-chan?" Misao chirped cheerily, her cheeks lightly tinted with pink from the amount of sake she downed in. Surprisingly, she still managed to keep her wits together.
"I thought we're going man-hunting, right Megumi?" Kaoru turned her head to find a smiling fox beside her.
"Yeah, one of my patients asked me to visit him there sometimes. OHOHOHOHOHOH!!!" her shrieks of laughter filled the streets.
Somehow, they managed to make out a growl in between Megumi's insane laughter. They scanned the area around, but unable to see anyone. So they continued walking, ehem..I mean, man-hunting.
Up in the tree above the cunning man-huntresses, a mad man was struggling to jump down. And two men were trying to keep him up.
"Damn that patient of hers!!!. I'll kill him myself!!!" Sano growled loud.
"You know you shouldn't kill, Sano. It tarnishes your soul, and then.."Kenshin put his hands on his hips, lecturing him.
"Oh shut up, rurouni. We're not up to it now!." It's Aoshi. Who would've thought Aoshi could be so rude? Oh yes, when his beloved Misao is concerned, that is.
The girls resumed their man-hunting, at the same time aware of someone, or rather "someones" tailing behind them. They acted as usual, as if not noticing anything, but kept their ears alert.
Suddenly,..
"Up there!!!." Misao shouted. Without wasting a second she threw her kunais at their target.
The men were caught off-balance. And they fell to a painful heap in front of the girls. Still in their fashionable robes and hats, they were unrecognizable. And that, made it worse for them.
Kaoru attacked them with her bokken, breaking several bones in process. Misao used her kempo. And Megumi, she knew how to retaliate too, she was preparing a poison.
Not after when the hungry man-huntresses have calmed down a lil' bit did the manage to squeal a protest.
"Oroooooooooooo.." it trailed down into a whisper.
"Damn!" was only a croak.
"............" he never really said anything. Too shocked for being beaten by his own student.
The girls looked at each other. Each recognizing these stupid, ball-for- brains idiots' voice. Slowly, they lifted the hat and robes to reveal, three gorgeous guys with bumps and bruises all over.
They blinked several times.
She must be crying, regretting what she had done to me. Heh heh.. Kenshin, Sano and Aoshi thought.
Then they looked at each other again.
She must be thinking that her action is unforgivable.
Then they broke into laughter, loud laughter.
Blink blink.
"Serves you right to be spying on us!!. MWAHAHAHA!!!!."
"Uh..come on, Fox. You said you love me!. Now come and gimme a kiss." Sano tried to lift a hand to hold his fox.
"What??!!. You eavesdropped too?!!" Megumi stepped on his outstretched hand.
"Ouch!"
"We didn't eavesdrop. We..um..overheard it." Kenshin nervously answered.
"You too, Kenshin?!!!!" Kaoru wailed.
"Don't forget me!. I was there too!!." Aoshi never knew when to remain silent and when not to.
"Damn you, Aoshi!!." Misao hurled her kunais at Aoshi.
"Hey, why'd you drop the 'sama'?" It's Aoshi again.
"Come on, fox. I've been waiting for years to hear that!. I love you baby, yes, that's right!. I do. Why don't we just stop pretending and let love guides us??!!!" Sano was practically shouting his love declarations out for the world to hear.
"..........." Megumi was overwhelmed. "Sometimes, you are not an idiot after all."
The others thought the same, too. Kaoru stopped beating Kenshin with her bokken. Misao stopped poking kunais into her Aoshi.
"Koishii...Sano's right. I won't pretend anymore, Kaoru. I love you, and I'll love you forever." Kenshin's palm was caressing Kaoru's cheek lovingly, his eyes shining with love.
"Oh Kenshin...I never thought you would love me. I love you, but.. I know I'll never be the" Kaoru stopped when Kenshin's lips found hers.
"Aoshi-sama..." Misao started nervously.
"I'd like it better if you just call me Aoshi, Misao." Aoshi held her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"Do you?" Misao's uncertain eyes met his finally.
"Yes, yes I do, Misao. I love you." He pulled her for a hug, but Misao struggled free.
She was jumping around. "Aoshi loves me!. Aoshi loves me!. Aoshi loves me!"
Sigh...
So they all went back hand in hand. Kenshin and Kaoru had a dreamy look on their face. Sano and Megumi looked sly and cunning as always. Aoshi tried to smile while Misao smiled from ear to ear.
"I'll still kill the bastard you know, Kenshin." Sano broke the lovely silence.
"Sessha thinks you should thank him, Sano." Kenshin, always the grateful one.
"Ne, that's my plan for tomorrow. Tonight, I'll just curl up in bed with my fox here. Heh hehe heh..." Sano's eyes drifted lazily to Megumi's delicious curves.
They all had the same plan in their head. Men, you know them.
"Don't get so tuned up, Sano. And to the rest of you guys, too. We're having our period now, so, shall I say, no entry?" Megumi smiled wickedly. "MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!" the girls joined in.
"ORO?!!"
"DAMMIT!!"
".............."
-owari-
A/N: phew! Finished!. I took a long while to finish this one though. Sorry for the –intended-to-be-romantic scene. I'm not up to being mushy-mushy, lovey-dovey tonight. I'm having a head-splitting headache now..owww...this is not my best, but I think it'll be enough now, I won't be posting any story anytime soon, coz I'm going to college, and guess I'll have to spend less time on writing. I have several stories in store for you, but I intend to write at least 10 chapters before posting it. Come to think of it, it's good if someone can donate a laptop to me, so I may write anytime I want. You gimme a laptop....puulllleeezzzeeee???
Uh, ok. If a laptop's not possible, how bout donating me a review? Heheh heh
Disclaimer : they say, if you love someone, you have to let him go, so...go Kenshin, you're not mine....:(...HHHUUUAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!
RED FLAG DAY!.
"Hey Busu, you broke my head!!!!" Yahiko's scream could be heard throughout Tokyo. His hands were wandering on his head, trying to make sure it was still there.
"As if you can do anything with it!!!!!!!!." Kaoru's scream almost made the walls vibrate. "Come here you brat!!!." She broke into a run, shaking the earth beneath her as she chased the poor Tokyo Samurai.. "Hiiiyaaahhhh!!"
"Hahah..come and get me, you ugly old hag!!!!" Yahiko, unable to use his head, only provoked Kaoru further. He ran as fast as he could along the corridor, turning around several times to see a fierce Kaoru going after him.
"What did you say, you shrimp???!!!!" Kaoru raced up faster, when she saw....
She stopped, screeching. Yahiko kept on running, but when he looked back at Kaoru, he noticed she was not running after him anymore. Instead, she was smiling broadly. He wondered why. But still, he kept on running, and running and running till....
"Urrkkk!!!!" he got the answer instantly. The crash with Misao rolled them both on the floor.
"Yiiiioouuchhh!!!" Misao that was walking out from the kitchen to bring her Aoshi-sama a cup of tea was now sprawled on top of Yahiko, the cup landed nicely on the floor, spilling out all of its content. "Now look at what you did, brat!!!!!!" she gripped the tray tightly then smashed it into Yahiko's face. "That was for Aoshi-sama!!!!"
Yahiko was pinned to the floor with Misao's legs straddling him, and her hands choking him. "Ugh...Busu chased me!!!, not my fault!!!." His hands were flailing wildly. "Hey weasel!!!. Lemme gooo!!!!!"
"SHADDUP!!!!" Misao gripped his neck tighter, shaking him wildly. "You're gonna pay for this!!!!!"
Then they heard a soft voice. "Sure you are, Yahiko-chan...." Looming above him was an evil Kaoru, looking ready to eat him. "Misao-chan, now we can tie him up and burn him, ne?"
"No, I'll rip his body into pieces first!!!" Misao's eyes were burning and she grinned, showing off gleaming teeth. "Limb by limb...."
"Then I'll tear his heart out and squeeze it like a sponge!!!!" Kaoru continued, eyes glinting with ultimate evil.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" their eerie laughter filled the air. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
"UUGGHH!!!!HELP ME!!!I DON'T WANNA DIE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Aoshi, as usual, was out on the porch, meditating. His stoic demeanor remained the same for hours. As for Kenshin, he had already slumped in his spot after trying to imitate, well, not imitate, but trying his hands at meditating as well.
"Ne, Aoshi-san, how do you do that?. My uh, backside is numb from hours of sitting." Kenshin rubbed his bottom, but couldn't feel any sensation at all. Oh Kami, I think I've gone crippled!!!. My pretty ass...
Still keeping his eyes closed, Aoshi started his explanation to the poor rurouni. "The sea and the beach are like the body and the soul. The sea, always moving, gently and violently compared to the stillness of the beach, but still"
"Orooo.....sessha hasn't gone to the beach for such a loooonngg time, Aoshi-san." Kenshin cut him short. The truth was, Aoshi was going around the bush but he preferred to cut the bush off. I'm starting to wonder how this ninja boy taught his students when he was the Okashira before...poor those ninjas, and Miss Misao.
Misao had told him that Kaoru asked him to go to the market to buy some food for the celebration tonight. I should be going now, or it'd be too late.
He started to stand when
"Oi, Kenshin!!!. You see the fox here today?" yes, that was Sano, chewing his fishbone as usual.
"Megumi-dono?, no, sessha hasn't seen her today." He replied, shaking his head. "Why?."
"Nothing." The rooster-head looked around, then he saw
"Hey, ninja boy. There you are!!." He smacked Aoshi in his back with loud 'whack'.
Aoshi's head jerked forward, his eyes looked as if they'd jumped out of the socket any second later. So this was how a 'surprised' Aoshi looked like.
"Er, Sano...the wave shouldn't be too strong...." Kenshin said with caution. I don't want a pissed ninja here...
Sano blinked his eyes a couple of times, then bent down, eyes the same level with Kenshin's. "Wave?..what wave?"
Ignoring him, Kenshin addressed Aoshi. "Ano..Aoshi-san, guess the sea is quite rough today, ne?". He turned his head, facing Sano. "Gomen, Sano, sessha has to go to the market now." Without further explanation, he turned and headed straight to the gate.
"Oi, wait for me, I'm coming with ya!!!." He spit his fishbone out and followed Kenshin. Maybe he can snatch a few goodies in town later. Suddenly, he stopped. An idea popped up in his head. hehehehehehe...
"Hey, ninja boy!. Come along!!!." He started back to Aoshi.
Aoshi, furious that an uninvited 'wind' has wrecked a 'storm' in his 'sea', he refused the invitation by shutting his eyes tighter.
"Ninja boy, get your butt off the floor, since you're eating tonight, you should be carrying the food too!." Sano smirked, and all but dragged Aoshi from his peaceful 'sea' to the crowded market. "You don't wanna let that skinny guy out there to carry things alone, right, ninja boy?"
"Don't call me ninja boy." Aoshi hissed. Sano raised his eyebrow, and smirked again.
"Ice box finally speaks!!." He grinned.
Aoshi replied with a death glare. "Or ice box."
So the guys were off to the market.
Meanwhile, at the dojo.....
"Geez..what makes you real pissed off today, weasel?" Yahiko asked while scrubbing the floor.
A kunai missed his ear with a 'swish'.
"We beautiful ladies never talk with a slave. And you, watch your tongue or you'll lose it soon!!." Misao yelled from the porch while sitting with Kaoru. Instead of brewing a new cup of tea for her Aoshi-sama, she and Kaoru sat together, sipping tea while torturing Yahiko. What a peaceful evening.....
The men have all gone to the market to buy the stuff they need tonight. So the evening was quiet and nice enough, with Yahiko's constant muttering and bickering.
"Ne Misao-chan, what makes you real angry today?. I mean, you beat Yahiko real good just now." Kaoru asked while sipping her hot tea slowly.
"He spilled my Aoshi-sama's tea!!!." Misao pursed her lips, her cup halfway to her mouth.
Kaoru raised one eyebrow, "Your Aoshi-sama?."
"..........."
"Misao-chan?"
"............"
"You treat him like a God, but that good-for-nothing guy never even pay any attention to you." She remarked.
"Whaaaat??!!!" Misao choked. "Good-for-nothing???!!!!."
Kaoru looked straight into Misao's fire-lighted eyes. "Yes. A shrimp. He never speaks to you. Let alone ask you out."
"Tsk...how cruel...I never knew you're this cruel, Kaoru-chaaannnn!!!!" Misao whined. "That's the truth. Why, he even" Misao cut her off. "Huh!!." She stood up straight. "That skinny Himura is worse!." "Oh yeah?!!" Kaoru stood up straight, facing Misao. "Why is that, Misao?!" Misao imitated Kenshin's voice. "Kaoru-dono...sesha this..sessha that...that man is pathetic!!."
"You....."
Now both girls looked at each other with deathly glares, hands firmly locked on their hips, ready for battle.
"And he hasn't even gotten the blasted courage to ask you out, Kaoru!!!"
"Hmmpphh!!." Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest. "The pot calls the kettle black!."
"Your rurouni is chicken!!" Misao stuck her tongue out.
"Whhhhaaaaattt!!!!!!!. Your Aoshi is" Kaoru was ready to rip Misao's tongue out when suddenly a shrieking laughter interrupted.
"OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!" we know who's that. "Tanuki and weasel fighting, I see."
"Get out of this, Megumi!!!." Kaoru warned.
"Yeah, get out you slimy fox. This is between us!!."Misao growled. "Himura is a CHICKEN!!!!!" she repeated.
"No way!!!!. He's just....just...shy." Kaoru admitted sulkily. "or waiting for the right moment." She amended.
"Ken-san will never like lil' children like you, tanuki." Megumi flipped her long black hair over her shoulders. "He likes me!."
"Just keep your hands on that rooster-head!!!!" Kaoru yelled at the top of her lungs.
Megumi smoothed her long hair. "I prefer to have them both."
"Wicked slimy fox!!!!. Wait till I get you!!!!." Kaoru screamed. "Misao, gimme my bokken!."
"Ken-san certainly prefers feminine women, like me." Megumi still hasn't budged from her spot. "You are too boyish."
"..........."
"What, no argument?" Megumi smirked. "You don't give up this easily,ne?"
"............................."
Misao went closer to Kaoru. "Kao-chan?."
".................."
There were tiny crystal beads on the corners of her eyes. Her azure eyes looked misty, her cheeks slightly flushed. Megumi has hit a sensitive spot.
"Megumi, apologize!!." Misao commanded.
They all sit around the table. Kaoru looked down, defeated. Misao tried to calm her. Megumi looked only slightly uneasy.
"Come on, Kaoru-chan. What's wrong?. You don't get upset easily." Megumi poured herself a cup of tea, though uninvited. "What's wrong?." She prodded again.
"..........." Silence.
Then, "It's...." Kaoru finally opened her mouth.
Megumi and Misao waited patiently. Well, it's not everyday you get to hear secrets from Kaoru.
"I'M HAVING MY MENSTRUAL!!!!!!!." Kaoru wailed. "It's damn freaking annoying!!!!!."
Megumi and Misao blinked, then simultaneously replied. "Me too!!."
"That explains why we are all so grumpy today." Megumi huffed.
"You're grumpy everyday, fox!." Kaoru spat.
"No need to be so cruel, tanuki." Megumi spat back.
An innocent Misao asked, "Why?"
"You tell her, Megumi. You're the doctor." Kaoru sipped her tea.
"Oh right, we have a kid right here." She elegantly made herself more comfortable, ignoring death threats from Misao. "You see, during the menstrual cycle, your hormones are quite unbalanced. At some times, your estrogen level is higher than your progesterone level, but this may change during the cycle. These changes, actually, affects your moods and so........"
Meanwhile, on the bridge....
"Sessha thought you're not coming along, Aoshi." Kenshin smiled his rurouni smile at Aoshi, whose face was very sour since he was hauled out of his peaceful 'sea'.
"Say thanks to that rooster-head." Aoshi hissed slowly.
"I heard that, ninja boy!." Sano growled.
"Maa..maa...sessha doesn't need two boys tagging along to the market." Kenshin, being the baka deshi as always, failed to use the right words to sooth the two 'boys'.
"Did you say 'boys', Kenshin?." Sano gripped the opening of his gi tightly and brought his eyes closer to Kenshin's. "You come along with me tonight, and let's see who's the real 'man' , Kenshin!."
"Oroooo...." Kenshin gulped. Of course I'm a man. I am, after all, the infamous Hitokiri Battousai!." He groped for air, croaking. "That's not a good idea, Sano. Sessha has to help Kaoru-dono with the clean-up tonight. After the celebration."
He let Kenshin down, with a thud, then walked away chewing his fishbone. "Uh..oh..that's right. Well, next time."
"Why don't you ask Aoshi. Sessha's sure heAAARRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Sano turned around, saw nothing, then he heard the ever so deafening scream above his head. "WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!"
Kenshin, the legendary Hitokiri Battousai who had killed millions, maybe trillions screamed when he tried to save himself from falling after accidentally stepping on a blasted banana skin. Who would've thought that the deadly Battousai can scream so LOUD!!. In his attempt to save his pretty butt from smashing the wooden bridge, he had launched a high jump using his godly speed. Thanks to his wonderful reflexes, he didn't land directly on the bridge. However, in his haste and panic, he missed his target and went flying down on poor Sanosuke, crashing his fishbone, and accidentally sent them straight into the river below!.
Aoshi just blinked, unable to take the sight of the screaming Battousai any longer. Is this the man I fought with before?. Is this?. Is it him?!! THIS CAN'T BE!!!IT'S A SHAME TO LOSE AGAINST A MAN LIKE THIS!!!
Meanwhile, Kenshin and Sano rocketed into the river with a LOUD SPLASH!!!!. Then SPLISH!!AARRGGGHHH!!!SPLASH!!!PPFFRRTTTT!!!!!!DAMN...PPFFRTT...RUROU..SPLAASSHHH !!!!!!
Kenshin, due to his sorry height was soaked in the river before he finally arose and took gulps of air and water at the same time. The water reached his chin, so he had to stand upright to avoid 'drinking' the water. His long hair was plastered on his face like a wet towel, blocking his whole view. He struggled to push them back, spurting water in the process. His vision was blurred still but he could hear faint screams. Faint?. If it's Sano then it will never be faint...then it must be his own ears. He bent slightly on his sides, knocking the water out of his ears, and brain. Then the voice got louder, higher pitched. Okay, now that's really Sano. He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his view. When finally he did clear his view, what he saw made him want to sink back again and laughed his heart out.
Sano was thrashing wildly in the river like a poor baby!.
With his height, he's only soaked from his shoulders downwards. But he was thrashing hysterically, his eyes were closed tightly and his hands were flailing helplessly as if he was going to die any second. He kept shouting, "DAMN KENSHIN...ppffrrttt...DAMN!..ICAN'TSWIM!!!"
Kenshin stared at him, open-mouthed. He looked up and saw Aoshi looking down at them, eyes wide with disbelief. Aoshi's surely getting schizophrenia or manic depression after this. He must be having trouble with whatever he was seeing. The Great Battousai screaming like a girl and the brutal Zanza thrashing like a kid. Which one is worse?.
Kenshin stood still. He still couldn't believe his eyes. Maybe they're playing stupid tricks on me.." He rubbed his eyes again, ferociously this time. Unfortunately, the scene before him was still the same. Sano thrashing in the shallow river.
Aoshi, who has broken out from his stupor, finally decided to save that poor baka rooster-head's ass. He jumped into the river, in all his ninja- ish glory and landed in an elegant splash in front of the rooster head. Smirking slightly for his black elegant ninja outfit was soaked and drenched; he started to 'save' Sano, with pure disgust.
He took out his kodachis, one in each hand, and drew one long sword against Sano's throat. "SHADDUP, YOU MORON!." He growled savagely. Seeing no reaction from the still-thrashing rooster head, he drew up his left hand and smashed his fist under Sano's chin. Now that does it!!
Sano was thrown back, stupefied. Slowly scanning his surroundings, he stood up, rubbing his aching jaw. "Why'd you do that??!!"
Sheathing his kodachis, Aoshi drawled, "To stop you from screaming like a baby!."
Still rubbing his jaw, Sano eyed Kenshin. "If it's not for the damn rurouni, nobody will be down here."
"Not my fault. It was the banana skin." Kenshin innocently replied.
The ninja boy was not about to be left out. He mumbled something, at least. "Now I'm wet."
"I know that ninja." Sano replied. "I should spread the word of the fearless Zanza crying for life!" Aoshi spat back. "......"
Kenshin smiled wickedly. Yeah, Aoshi!!. Yeah!!!.
They all walked out from their nice 'swim', everybody mumbling and blaming each other. "where's that stinkin' banana skin?"..mumbles mumbles "saved your ass, rooster!"...mumbles "stop it..." mumbles mumbles
They walked, and walked, occasionally stopped to wring their clothes in feeble attempt to dry them up. Not long after that, they all detected three blazing and flaring kis, ready to kill. They paused for a while, and searched for the source of the deadly battle auras. Simultaneously they all looked up and saw...three beasts in women bodies looking down at them with fire in their eyes, and smokes gushing out of their earlobes and flaring nostrils. Three very powerful kis enclosed in the bodies of, who else but Kaoru's, Misao's and even that ever-so-elegant Megumi's.
"Uh..Kenshin...." Sano fidgeted nervously.
"Ano..." Kenshin gulped.
"......." As always.....the Ice Box never really said anything....
Kaoru, Misao and Megumi looked fierce enough to kill the whole Japan, or as the Kenshin-gumi usually said, fierce enough to go-Battousai. Kaoru had a frown on her white face, making her looked like a ghost hungry for revenge. Misao had slits for her eyes then, her hands across her chest, her foot idly tapping the dojo floor. Megumi had an evil smirk on her face, her hands resting on her hips.
The foul-mouthed Sano never knew when to value his life. "Yo kitsune!. What's up?!"
'Kitsune' just glared back at him.
Sano nudged Kenshin with his elbow. Kenshin opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly he heard a faint cry.
"They've gone crazy today, Kenshin.... I am their slave, forever!!!!" It was Yahiko. He was...he was....Sano, Kenshin and Aoshi found it hard to believe. Yahiko was doing laundry!!!!.
The air was still for several seconds.
"Hey, that's my job!!!!." Kenshin spoke in near scream.
Heads were turned to his direction. "Anou...sessha just feel sorry for Yahiko, that's all." He answered sheepishly.
"You feel sorry, Kenshiiinnnn?."Kaoru asked softly, or rather purred.
"Sessha does, Kaoru-dono, really." Kenshin nodded. Sano and Aoshi nodded as well.
"Well....WE ARE SORRIER!!!!" Kaoru whacked his head with a magical bokken that appeared from nowhere.
"Ackk!!." Came Kenshin's reply. Guess she keeps that around all the time.
"Geez...that hurts!." Sano eyed Kenshin. then he eyed Megumi, giving her his sexy stare and grin. "Hey Fox, I'm wet here. Gimme a towel to dry myself up, or you can do it for me?."
"THE HELL WITH TOWELS!!!!." Her blood-curdling scream nearly made him jump. "FREEZE YOUR STUPID ASS OUT THERE!!"
Kaoru stopped whacking Kenshin. "Now where's the stuff we asked you to buy?!!. And why are you all wet?!!"
"Orororo Kaoru-dono...sessha.." Kenshin stuttered.
"Don't you dono or sessha me, rurouni!." Kaoru cut in.
Stubborn Sano tried to enter the dojo, but he was sent sprawling on the lawn by Kaoru. "DON'T YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY FEET IN MY HOUSE!!!!."
"Got that, rooster head?" Megumi squeezed in.
"We have a feast tonight, and it's already evening and you haven't even bought one single thing!!!. Don't ever think to get in my house in that wet clothes!!!!" Kaoru continued.
Mentally shaking his head over the incidents before him, Aoshi merely shrugged and looked at Misao, silently asking for dry towels. Misao, as if she understood his meaning, immediately went into the house. Heh..knew the girl has the hots for me!. Hah!!pity you Battousai. He smirked in pride. Kenshin and Sano 'hmph-ed'.
Misao came running back with a fresh towel in her hands. Going forwards, she thrust the towel out for the great okashira. "You want this, Aoshi- samaaaa......?"
Aoshi, so confident that he'll get the towel after all, merely nodded.
Misao lifted her brows, taking back the towel and hugged it to her bosom. "That's not enough, Aoshi-sama!."
Aoshi raised one eyebrow, questioning her actions. Kaoru has stopped whacking Kenshin and Megumi has stopped beating Sano, everyone was waiting for Misao's next reaction.
Misao just smiled, and hugged the towel tighter. She raised up her left hand to inspect her nails. "Umm...should I give it to you?."
Aoshi mentally nodded vigorously. On the outside, his demeanor was always the same. Stoic, cold and unyielding.
She let down her hand, looked at Aoshi straight in his eyes, and spat out, "You can freeze your sorry ass out there this time!!!!MHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" She stuck her tongue out and marched back inside, followed by Kaoru and Megumi. Aoshi stood stock-still, his jaw hanging open, his eyes blinking in utter disbelief. His little sweet innocent angel Misao has turned into a monster!!. Leave her to tanuki and fox for a day, and you get this... I...I......... Now he was 'truly' speechless.....
"Wow!. Can't believe the weasel had it in her!!." We know who's stupid enough to say that. "Hey Kenshin, I've told you this several times before."
"What?"
"Women are scary." Sano nodded vigorously. "See what weasel did to Ice Box."
Kenshin did so. "Ororo...now the 'sea' has gone silent, ne Aoshi?." Aoshi was so still you can mistake him as a statue. He looked as if he has just received a death penalty. Now you know how it feels to be rejected, ne Aoshi?
And so the ex-fighter-for-hire, the ex-Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu and the ex-Hitokiri Battousai 'freeze their sorry asses' out there, literally drying themselves up in the sun. "Think of it as sunbathing, guys!." Sano said, trying to make himself better. Yahiko continued scrubbing the clothes while muttering curses for Busu and Weasel, one curse for one scrub.
Late that evening, three grown men marched their way to the market in stiff clothes and stiff stares. Sano repeated over and over again, "Watch your steps,Kenshin.". Aoshi kept giving Kenshin death glares that clearly said, "You step on 'anything' again, and I'll tear off your skin like people do on bananas!.". Kenshin shuddered all the way to the market.
They bought all the necessary things and went straight home and dumped all the things in the kitchen.
The girls were all busy, preparing for the feast tonight. They had their sleeves all rolled up cooking for tonight. It wasn't much of a feast actually, just a small gathering when Aoshi and Misao were there. But looking at the atmosphere, nobody will think a feast was on the way. A funeral looked much more fitting.
Kenshin, worried that Kaoru might burn the kitchen, strolled in and offered his help. Unfortunately for him...
"Get out!!." Three female-hitokiri-Battousais snarled back at him.
"Hai, hai..sessha will get out.." Kenshin nervously agreed.
"Sent out, Kenshin?." Sano smirked when he saw Kenshin running out from the kitchen. Aoshi beside him was still, statue-ish.
"Hmmpphh.."
"What's wrong with the girls today?. Even your 'territory' is conquered." Sano said, meaning the kitchen.
"Busu and Weasel just got crazy today. I wonder why." Yahiko spoke silently. "Even Megumi acts weird."
The feast proceeded in silence. Even Yahiko was not wolfing down his food. I was right, it looked like a funeral. The girls sat together, side by side while the guys sat on their opposite. The air was full of hostility; you can almost see electric sparks flying across the groups. The tension was unbearable it might explode any minute then. Doctor Genzai was grabbed by Sano to join the guys, so he was separated from her grandchildren. Ayame and Suzume, weren't forgotten, they were pulled by the girls to join the female squad.
And nobody, not even that lousy Sano dared to criticize the unfortunate meal cooked by Kaoru.
"Well!." Announced Kaoru, "now that we've finished, let's go, girls!!." She stood up quickly, and waited for Megumi and Misao.
"You guys do the washing up!." Misao cheered, eyes riveted to Aoshi, mentally imagining how he'd look like surrounded with soaps and suds.
"We wouldn't want to be sweating coz we have sexy handsome guys to chase tonight!!!"Megumi continued.
"Hey, Kitsune, I'm sexy enough!!." Sano yelled.
"And dumb as well." Megumi quipped. Sano sweat-dropped.
"IT'S GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!" Kaoru cheered, followed by Misao and Megumi. "OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!" her shrill laughter echoed down the corridor as they walked to their rooms.
They watched the girls walk away in confusion. Are they possessed by demons while the guys were out at the market?. Even Aoshi looked confused and helpless. Yahiko was slumped at one corner, trying to fight indigestion.
Kenshin broke the silence. "Anou..it's not safe for women to wander at the streets at night." He scratched his head.
"They don't wander, they plan to 'roam' the streets, Battousai." Aoshi replied.
"Wow, ninja!. Very observant!!"Sano whacked Aoshi's back.
"I was trained to do that." He replied. "Whatever is wrong with them, anyway?"
Now that's the shock of the century. Kenshin, Sano and Yahiko blinked a couple of times. The enigma, the genius Aoshi finally asked a question. Aoshi answers, not asks!.
"I heard they said something about....men..mens..." Yahiko scratched his head and rolled his eyes, trying to recall the scene.
Aoshi was the first to dash at Yahiko and held him by his neck. Eyes threatening, all three males growled savagely at him. "Did you say men, Yahiko?!!" Aoshi whispered softly.
Yahiko struggled to break free from Aoshi's death grip. "No..wait, I haven't finished yet."
"Phew!." Aoshi released him. "Then, what's that?"
"It's...it's...menst..." Sano shook Yahiko's small body. "Whaaattt???!!!!!"
"It's menstrual. Yeah, they were talking about menstrual. Menstrual, what's that?. A poison?" At last, Yahiko got the damn word out.
All three males gaped back at him. "Did you say menstrual?"
Yahiko nodded.
All of them burst out laughing. Yeah, even Aoshi.
Kenshin was the first to stop laughing. His face was lightly tinted with red. Oro!. I thought Kaoru has found another man!!!.
Sano clutched his belly, still unable to stop. Hah!!...I thought I've lost my sexiness!!!
Aoshi rolled on the floor. He was the most relieved after all. My Misao- chan still loves me!!!!!hahaha!!!she's still MY angel!!! See Battousai?! Sagara??!!hahahaha!!!
"Oi!! Why are you guys laughing?!! It's not funny, I was enslaved for the whole day because of this!!. This menstrual thing, whatever it is, is very powerful!!." Yahiko sulked in the corner alone, watching those three guys laughing until they cried. Even Doctor Genzai was chuckling. What's this menstrual thing, anyway? "Oi, tell me!!!"
"Wait till you get older, Yahiko-CHAN!!!" Sano laughed at him.
"Tell me!!! Hey, come on!!" Yahiko urged.
"Sessha thinks we have to wait until you get older, Yahiko." Kenshin gently patted Yahiko's back while drying his own eyes.
Aoshi merely nodded. Doctor Genzai finally said, "I'll tell you later, ne Yahiko-chan?"
Yahiko refused.
Kenshin started. "It's an..."
"Adult thing." Sano finished.
"Is it evil?." Yahiko asked silently.
"Oh my..." Kenshin gawked. He almost ran to Kaoru and smooch her there and then. Dressed in a dark blue kimono, with motifs of butterflies and small intricate flowers adorning her outfit, dark raven hair tied up in a matching blue ribbon, her pouty lips lightly tinted with red, and her white face blushing slightly, she was incomparable. Orooo!!Guaranteed to turn every man on!!. Especially a particular rurouni!!. Oh no, can't let her out tonight! Can't let her out!!!!
"Hey sexy lady!!!. Come on here!!" Sano walked over to Megumi in his sexy stride, catching the slender woman by her waist and pulled her closer for a kiss. Different from her usually doctor-ish style, Megumi had on a vibrant ruby kimono, as if matching the fiery desire Sano had for her. Her long shiny hair was lightly blown by the soft breeze. Megumi eyed him with a sexy glance. Gosh! Didn't know fox can be this sexy!!. I'll definitely screw her up tonight!!!!woof!!
"............." The Ice Box never really said anything. Misao had gone very far to make sure she'd look desirable tonight, but the only thing that fool Aoshi managed to do was gawk at her. The only sound he managed to tear out was only a croak. Oh my, now he was truly speechless, again. His chibi Misao was not a lil' girl anymore. Look at her boobs, Aoshi. That's a WOMAN!!!. Not a girl!!. You must be dumb, or blind all these years!!. Kami look at her!!!. Oh my GOD!!! Misao had left her long hair free from the braid she usually had. The soft tresses lay across her slim back sexily, moving with volume when she moved around. The kimono she wore, an emerald green kimono contrasted with her white skin, plus the light tint on her lips, made her look older, more matured, and sexier.
"Come on, girls!!!. Tonight is ours!!!." Kaoru, as the squad leader, cheered.
Megumi slapped Sano away, "Yeah, I can't bear looking at this thick- headed man anymore!."
"Anou..Kaoru-dono...it's quite dangerous to" Kenshin started his lectures on safety measures around Tokyo before he was stopped by Misao.
"Shut up, Himura." Misao held out a set of flashing kunai in her hand. "I have this, and Kaoru-chan is strong enough."
"How about my Kitsune?!!" Sano wailed.
"Ugghhh...let's go girls!!." Megumi stomped away, followed by Sano.
"Kaoru-dono, sessha just.."
Kaoru cut in. "We're going to the Akabeko only." She lied, of course.
"Maa..you've been my dinner so why do you need another dinner?" Kenshin asked quickly.
"Whhhaaaattt??!!" Kaoru screamed.
"Huh?." Kenshin stuttered. "I mean, I've been your dinner, so...."
"Whhhaattt???!!!!" she screamed louder.
"No!!..No!!" Kenshin fell face-first to the floor. "sessha means.."
"I know what you mean, and no. we're still going out." Kaoru, still red from Kenshin's misspoken sentence, grabbed Misao's hand, leaving behind a silly looking rurouni and a blinking Aoshi. Poor Aoshi, too many surprises in a day.
"Come on, Megumi!." They passed Megumi. "Where's Sano?"
Megumi smiled her evil smile. "Oh, I just put him to sleep." She shrugged.
"That insufferable man, if he's really a man!!." Megumi frowned.
Far from the group of 'she-beasts', three men in long robes and hats sat huddled around a small table, eavesdropping.
"She questioned my manliness!!!!." Sano growled.
"Watch out, idiot. You'll give us in." Kenshin hissed.
"Oooppss..sorry." Sano grinned, scratching his head. "Oww..my head still hurts.."
Aoshi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Someone tell me why I have to dress in this ridiculous outfit!."
"I know you love your ninja outfit more." Sano whacked his back. "Think of your lil' Misao, wolfed down by some bastards!."
Aoshi immediately let his guard up, his senses alert.
"Aoshi-sama is waaaaayyy colder, Kaoru-chan!!" Misao replied to Kaoru's earlier remark about Kenshin.
"Hear that, ninja?!!." Sano grinned. "Give her some lovin', will ya?"
Aoshi glared.
"Nobody's colder than Kenshin!." Kaoru huffed. "Hmph!!"
"And you too, Kenshin!!." Sano continued giving advices.
"We don't maul our women like you do yours!!!." Kenshin and Aoshi defended themselves.
"And the problem is...", Tae started. "I LOVE HIM..." Kaoru, Megumi and Misao finished simultaneously.
Tae sighed. The men went, "AWWWW....."
"So, what's the plan for tonight, Kaoru-chan?" Misao chirped cheerily, her cheeks lightly tinted with pink from the amount of sake she downed in. Surprisingly, she still managed to keep her wits together.
"I thought we're going man-hunting, right Megumi?" Kaoru turned her head to find a smiling fox beside her.
"Yeah, one of my patients asked me to visit him there sometimes. OHOHOHOHOHOH!!!" her shrieks of laughter filled the streets.
Somehow, they managed to make out a growl in between Megumi's insane laughter. They scanned the area around, but unable to see anyone. So they continued walking, ehem..I mean, man-hunting.
Up in the tree above the cunning man-huntresses, a mad man was struggling to jump down. And two men were trying to keep him up.
"Damn that patient of hers!!!. I'll kill him myself!!!" Sano growled loud.
"You know you shouldn't kill, Sano. It tarnishes your soul, and then.."Kenshin put his hands on his hips, lecturing him.
"Oh shut up, rurouni. We're not up to it now!." It's Aoshi. Who would've thought Aoshi could be so rude? Oh yes, when his beloved Misao is concerned, that is.
The girls resumed their man-hunting, at the same time aware of someone, or rather "someones" tailing behind them. They acted as usual, as if not noticing anything, but kept their ears alert.
Suddenly,..
"Up there!!!." Misao shouted. Without wasting a second she threw her kunais at their target.
The men were caught off-balance. And they fell to a painful heap in front of the girls. Still in their fashionable robes and hats, they were unrecognizable. And that, made it worse for them.
Kaoru attacked them with her bokken, breaking several bones in process. Misao used her kempo. And Megumi, she knew how to retaliate too, she was preparing a poison.
Not after when the hungry man-huntresses have calmed down a lil' bit did the manage to squeal a protest.
"Oroooooooooooo.." it trailed down into a whisper.
"Damn!" was only a croak.
"............" he never really said anything. Too shocked for being beaten by his own student.
The girls looked at each other. Each recognizing these stupid, ball-for- brains idiots' voice. Slowly, they lifted the hat and robes to reveal, three gorgeous guys with bumps and bruises all over.
They blinked several times.
She must be crying, regretting what she had done to me. Heh heh.. Kenshin, Sano and Aoshi thought.
Then they looked at each other again.
She must be thinking that her action is unforgivable.
Then they broke into laughter, loud laughter.
Blink blink.
"Serves you right to be spying on us!!. MWAHAHAHA!!!!."
"Uh..come on, Fox. You said you love me!. Now come and gimme a kiss." Sano tried to lift a hand to hold his fox.
"What??!!. You eavesdropped too?!!" Megumi stepped on his outstretched hand.
"Ouch!"
"We didn't eavesdrop. We..um..overheard it." Kenshin nervously answered.
"You too, Kenshin?!!!!" Kaoru wailed.
"Don't forget me!. I was there too!!." Aoshi never knew when to remain silent and when not to.
"Damn you, Aoshi!!." Misao hurled her kunais at Aoshi.
"Hey, why'd you drop the 'sama'?" It's Aoshi again.
"Come on, fox. I've been waiting for years to hear that!. I love you baby, yes, that's right!. I do. Why don't we just stop pretending and let love guides us??!!!" Sano was practically shouting his love declarations out for the world to hear.
"..........." Megumi was overwhelmed. "Sometimes, you are not an idiot after all."
The others thought the same, too. Kaoru stopped beating Kenshin with her bokken. Misao stopped poking kunais into her Aoshi.
"Koishii...Sano's right. I won't pretend anymore, Kaoru. I love you, and I'll love you forever." Kenshin's palm was caressing Kaoru's cheek lovingly, his eyes shining with love.
"Oh Kenshin...I never thought you would love me. I love you, but.. I know I'll never be the" Kaoru stopped when Kenshin's lips found hers.
"Aoshi-sama..." Misao started nervously.
"I'd like it better if you just call me Aoshi, Misao." Aoshi held her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"Do you?" Misao's uncertain eyes met his finally.
"Yes, yes I do, Misao. I love you." He pulled her for a hug, but Misao struggled free.
She was jumping around. "Aoshi loves me!. Aoshi loves me!. Aoshi loves me!"
Sigh...
So they all went back hand in hand. Kenshin and Kaoru had a dreamy look on their face. Sano and Megumi looked sly and cunning as always. Aoshi tried to smile while Misao smiled from ear to ear.
"I'll still kill the bastard you know, Kenshin." Sano broke the lovely silence.
"Sessha thinks you should thank him, Sano." Kenshin, always the grateful one.
"Ne, that's my plan for tomorrow. Tonight, I'll just curl up in bed with my fox here. Heh hehe heh..." Sano's eyes drifted lazily to Megumi's delicious curves.
They all had the same plan in their head. Men, you know them.
"Don't get so tuned up, Sano. And to the rest of you guys, too. We're having our period now, so, shall I say, no entry?" Megumi smiled wickedly. "MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!" the girls joined in.
"ORO?!!"
"DAMMIT!!"
".............."
-owari-
A/N: phew! Finished!. I took a long while to finish this one though. Sorry for the –intended-to-be-romantic scene. I'm not up to being mushy-mushy, lovey-dovey tonight. I'm having a head-splitting headache now..owww...this is not my best, but I think it'll be enough now, I won't be posting any story anytime soon, coz I'm going to college, and guess I'll have to spend less time on writing. I have several stories in store for you, but I intend to write at least 10 chapters before posting it. Come to think of it, it's good if someone can donate a laptop to me, so I may write anytime I want. You gimme a laptop....puulllleeezzzeeee???
Uh, ok. If a laptop's not possible, how bout donating me a review? Heheh heh