Title: Goodbye – part I/V
Pairing: Davy Jones/??
Beta: Thank you Lessy!
Summary: This is the first of 5 parts about the last moments aboard of the Dutchman, all written from the following POVs: Davy Jones, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Hector Barbossa, Jack Sparrow
Disclaimer: it all belongs to Disney
Goodbye
You are the love of my life.
And it is time to say goodbye – the insight struck me like a hard blow and for the first time in years it is like really feeling the hard hit again. The dark sky above us announces the end of the world. Maybe not literally, but at least the end of world we are part of, our little world will be shattered when this day will be over. The heavy clouds seem to engulf everything and everyone who tries to fight this fact of an unstoppable change of the times. The pouring rain is an unmerciful reminder that also my time will come and although I am Davy Jones, the man who rules the Sea will find no way out but I do not fear death. I never have. So different from those countless souls I have taken with me on board of the Dutchman during the years. Pathetic they all were! How can a man not accept his fate and leave this world with strength and pride? The most powerful men went down on their knees in their moment of death, when they had to face me and my crew just to beg shamelessly for their life and they all accepted all too willingly what I had to offer. What is the eternity of death compared to another 100 years on board of a ship? Nothing.
They all went with me. All but one. You.
You did not fear me and you did not fear death at all because you were not ready to die, but you were also smart enough to understand what my offer might bring for you. My mouth, hidden beneath layers of slippery tentacles, twitches up into a smile when I remember you offering me a deal. I admit I was stunned by that infamy – and impressed. No one before dared to challenge me with a business he offered. I was curious to hear what you had in mind, and in the end I fell for those black eyes with their devious sparkling.
When I became captain of the Dutchman, the ship did not have a crew at all because this ship does not need one. I was the one who changed the rules on board because I was powerful enough to do to this, and under my command the abandonment of the ship was not anymore what it had been before. Leading dead souls the way to the other side to rest in peace? Nonsense I say! They are dead and gone. Why would someone need to lead them anywhere? No. I was once a man with a ship and a crew, I was a captain myself during life and who was I to give this up in death? When Calypso made me captain of the Dutchman the Goddess of the Sea forgot one important thing: to ask me. I am Davy Jones and not one of her obedient fish creatures, unable to think alone. I am Davy Jones, captain with a crew and owner of a ship. And I found my crew indeed.
They all were men like me a long time ago and I have seen them change like I changed. Slowly, step by step, they became part of the ship. Their human bodies decayed and what rose like a phoenix were creatures that could hardly be compared to breathing human beings anymore. Wet and slippery, changed and deformed, all the seaweed, shells and corals they welcomed as part of their bodies, inviting the wights of the deep sea to be their only company for 100 years. Resignation and despair reflected clearly in their eyes and I felt nothing but merciless satisfaction.
My tentacles twitch in excitement when I remember the moment I agreed to the deal you offered. A ship for 13 years in exchange for you and your soul for 100 in return for me. I had nothing to lose. It was clear from the beginning that I was the winner in this deal. Thirteen years did not mean anything in my long immortal life, but after this brief time of patience I would own the man with the beautiful intense eyes for so long. Why do you think I agreed to this arrangement? Surely not because I wanted to show any generosity. No, I agreed because I wanted to take the owner of these eyes under my command, rule him and … love him.
Long before that night, I gave up what others may call hope and love. My heart rested in a chest, buried deeply on a lonely island for years. How many? I cannot remember, and it is not important anymore because you brought the memory of those feelings back to me with all your smirking and winking and talking. Did you ever wonder why I agreed to give you a ship like the Black Pearl? You of all people? Maybe the worst captain I have ever met in my mortal and immortal life? You, who lost the ship countless times, I bet not because such questions lie beyond your grasp. All that counted was that you had that ship you wanted so badly and that you were a proper captain. Serving Davy Jones when the time came? Rubbish. It is as if I can hear you dismissing the topic with a single word and a wave of your hand. For me it was never important because I knew that I would get what we agreed, and this was enough for me to wait and let you have the awesome time with your beloved ship.
Waiting.
That was all it was about for thirteen long years and surprised I had to find out that even in an immortal life for the eternity this could be a rather long time, passing by oh so slowly. My organ became my best friend during these years, expressing the feelings I was unable to feel without a heart beating in my chest. Always the same melody, one time in a sad, slow and melancholic rhythm until the heavy sounds of the organ nearly died away, and the other time in an aggressive, fast and disharmonious crescendo. Once I used all my tentacles to force the tones from the instrument, then I just strum on it with two of them like using the fingers I once had.
And then the time had come. Thirteen years were over and we met again on board the Pearl. It was such a joyful moment when I realised that you had not changed at all. Still the same man I granted to live back then. The sparkle was still there as well as the boyish smile – and another deal to help you to stay away from me. Maybe this was the moment I should have realised that I would never own you, that you would cause nothing but more hurt, but how could a man without a heart feel pain at all? My own stupidity – again. And still, it was one of the most wonderful moments in my life when one of my tentacles wrapped tightly around your wrist. Touching. Feeling. It was like being alive again, and for a brief moment I was able to stroke and caress your life filled body before I slowly pulled back again.
I doubt that you ever wondered why I granted this deal to take 100 souls instead of yours. Why I allowed you to try this for three days. Like you did not wonder about why I gave you the Black Pearl years ago. Questioning things was never something you did, and I am certain that you will not start with it now.
Now.
Now.
For years you were the only one who touched my heart and now you do it literally. It is like I can feel your fingers wrapped so tightly around my thumping heart and I do not want you to let it go ever again, but you make another decision. A decision against me. The stroking caress of your fingers, most welcomed and enjoyed, fades and is replaced by this strange stabbing pain. I gasp for air and cry out the hurt and betrayal as loud as I can but nobody hears me. The battle around me is too loud and the pouring rain washes everything I want to say away – and soon I will be a part of the sea, in such a different way than I have been until now.
I feel the stabbing pain deep in my chest, there where I should not be able to feel pain at all. The tentacles of my body twitch in agony. Do you fear death, Davy Jones? Who asks this I do not know and my silent answer is no. Within the blink of an eye I realise what all this means for me. I am no longer the captain of the Flying Dutchman. I am no longer bound to this terrifying body. I am no longer damned for all eternity not to feel. Unbound, free, allowed to find my own way to the other side – the side of the dead, resting in peace forever. The hint of a smile appears on my face that was once the face of a strong-willed man and that now has more in common with a beast of the sea with all its tentacles. I am surprised because I did not expect anyone to be able to kill me at all and to end this cruel life that is not even a life. But now as I see that to believe this was a mistake, and I am not angry or worried, I do not feel hate or disdain against my enemies. Peace is what I feel deep inside of me and it feels like someone lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders to allow me to breathe again. I look up into the grey sky and while I feel the rain on my face I do not care what happens around me. The sounds of battle are gone and the roar of the ocean turns into music in my ears. I am not the captain of this ship anymore and the crew is not mine to order either. Whoever will win this fight – pirates or Beckett's army – does not lie in my hands or in my interest anymore. And all this feels wonderful. The pain in my body increases and I stumble a few steps backwards, and my eyes meet yours.
Goodbye.
With the understanding the smile on my lips is washed away and the light feeling deep inside me is immediately absorbed by cruel darkness. Darkness that causes pain. Pain I have felt during all these endless years and it is still so different, so much more intense, so much worse! It feels like losing the heart I do not have anymore once again and the realisation that I have been wrong during the whole long years is the worst. I have cut out my heart to avoid to feel such pain ever again and without complaining I went through the things fate imposed on me after that – just to learn now that it was all for nothing!
Death comes as a release and with my salvation I will lose you, the one I call lover in my lonely, secret moments. Tears are welling up into my eyes. I do not want to believe it because I am the one without a heart here, the one who stands above everything – the one who loses what he wants to possess the most. And while I stand here, still staring at you and trying to ignore the insight of life's cruelty, my eyes are widening in disbelief.
I see the broken sword that pierced my heart and the slender fingers wrapped around the hilt. I see that those fingers cannot hold it any longer and the hand falls down onto the wet planks. Lifeless. And I see whose hand was put above the one that belongs to the new captain of the Dutchman.
You killed me, Jack Sparrow, love of my life.
The End Part I