She rushed to be the first one out of the class room door, not just because she was bored with the monotone teacher, tedious chemical solutions, and molecular theory, but because she thought she could steal a five minute conversation with Stiles. She stopped in the hallway, and let the other students pass her by as she realised he wasn't there... he'd probably be with Malia right now.
"Dammit Alison" the words fell out of her mouth before she could catch them and with a tear dancing on her cheek she immediately felt a tug of guilt. She breathed in deeply and strutted out of the school, abandoning her commitment to her study period in the library.
She slouched in her car, pressed her forehead to the steering wheel and took a minute to breathe. After a while she straightened herself up and slid the seatbelt across her body and turned the ignition key. She drove slowly but determinedly toward the Beacon Hills Cemetery.
She walked slowly through the grass and up to the familiar marble grave stone, and although the whole situation seemed pretty morbid to her, she crouched down onto her knees and stared at the dash in between Alison's birth and death dates and felt the familiar sensation of disbelief.
"Dammit Alison", she began in a whimper like whisper. She could still hear Allison's speech about what it was like to be in love, 'to stare at the clock until you could see them, to have them waiting for you and to not be able to breathe until you're with them'. Those words stung when Lydia heard them the first time because she did not know what it was like, but they cut deeper now that she did understand and couldn't talk to her best friend about it. Malia and Kira were great but they would never fill the void Alison had left, not to mention how profoundly awkward discussing her emotions with Malia would be...especially when it was Stiles who Lydia had fallen for, fallen hard like a tonne of bricks being plunged into the ocean in slow motion.
Lydia hated the welling feelings she got when she was around Stiles, when she was thinking of him, when she heard his voice echo in the halls, and when her phone would light up and she'd find herself hoping it was him.
"Dammit Alison" she sobbed into her sleeve. She wanted so badly to hear her laughter, to badger her for advice, to simply sit with her in silence as they got ready to go out together.
"I miss you more than any" she couldn't bring herself to justify how much she missed her, words wouldn't satisfy, and instead she rocked herself off of her knees and sat comfortably cross legged on the grass in the silence.
It had almost become dusk by the time Lydia felt strong enough to lift her head, when she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. She half jumped out of her skin at the touch and spun around to see Stiles standing there.
"Hey" he said.
"What are you doing here" Lydia demanded, still trying to catch her breath.
"I, uh, it's my parents anniversary" he stuttered.
She looked at him confused, her heart rate finally returning to normal as she took a deep breath.
"Dad and I bring flowers here for mom on their wedding anniversary" he explained, looking down at his shoes briefly.
A look of pain crossed Lydia's face, she knew how hard it was to walk into these gates and sit by a stone with nothing but flowers and memories to keep you from going insane.
"I saw you over here so I thought I'd come and see if you were alright." He paused "Are you alright?" Stiles asked, concern in his voice.
Lydia looked past Stiles' shoulder and noticed the sheriff, he waved at her before crouching back down to update his deceased wife on their son's life.
"Thanks. Yeah, I'm ok." Lydia looked back down to where Alison's name lingered. "I just like to come here sometimes... It's so hard without her here" Lydia's voice stuttered off as her tears defeated her will not to cry.
They had barely streamed all the way down to her chin before Stiles had scooped her up in what felt like the warmest embrace.
"I know" he whispered into her strawberry blonde hair as he held her tightly until her cries subsided.
Alison's death had made Lydia realise just how short life really was, but Stiles had been the one person whose faith in her and patience never ever wavered. She owed him this much, standing in between her deceased best friend and the person she was closer to than she thought possible, she decided it was her turn to be patient. In his arms she was reassured of just how perfectly they fit together, but she was sure that they would fit together just as rightly and just as tightly when he was ready. He was with Malia, but for the first time since Alison's death Lydia felt a glimpse of hope manifesting inside of her. She decided she would take her own advice and give the world something to fall in love with, she pulled away and looked up at Stiles, and she smiled a big smile. As she did, she heard Alison's cheeky words ringing in her ears 'Smile Lydia, someone could be falling in love with your smile.' And as Stiles and Lydia slid out of their embrace to walk together, there was a familiar look in those goofy brown eyes which indicated that he indeed had already fallen in love with much more than her smile.