Just another one of my weird fanfics. After watching a lot of Dane Cook and Brian Regan. And a little Russell Peters. Yesh, my favourite comedians. Because I'm just weird like that.

This is also based on -cough- what actually happens to me in school... -cough-

Yeah, I have a cold, that's why I'm coughing so much.

And YES, more creativity with titles. Again.

"Sakura. Not your greatest." How could Kakashi-sensei ever know what my greatest was? Not like he ever really payed attention to the loser girl at the back of the class, trying not to think about that filthy orange book that he reads.

I grimaced at the geography test paper that was just handed out to me. In big, red letters was: 56

Looks like Kakashi-sensei wasn't just being sarcastic.

But I barely managed over a fifty or sixty in math and English too.

"So, what did you guys get? I got 85!" I heard a girl ask her friends. This was the part where the other girls in my class showed off and made fun of the people who got a lower score than them. It was mostly me.

"89! I thought I was gonna do horrible!" her friend replied with fake modest air.

"92. But I got the bonus so now it's 97. Still crap though, I should have done better." That was the stupid girl who always thinks she needs to get perfect. She's just too full of herself. Really.

"Sakura, what did you get?"

I jumped as they were suddenly talking to me, and I quickly shoved the test paper into my binder. No, I was definitely not thinking about how life wasn't fair and that anyone who got over seventy percent should go die...

"Um… nothing. I… gotta go to the… bathroom! …Bye!" I said uneasily. I got up and left the classroom quickly before they could say anything else to me, but I swore I heard the conceited girl who got ninety-seven say:

"I bet she got something lower than 70."

In truth, she was right, but did she really have to automatically assume the worst of the worst of me?

But that afternoon, the bitch was the least of my worries. There was still a class SPELLING BEE that everyone in the class had to participate in. Wonderful. Yet another way to humiliate me in front of everyone at how I sucked at spelling.

"Alright, kids. Up against the wall." Time for public humiliation, I thought miserably.

"If you spell a word wrong, sit down." In front of all your classmates so they can mock you after class.

"Alright, Haruno Sakura," the teacher called after he went through a number of people. They all moved onto Round Two. What was the point in even trying? I knew I wasn't going to last very long, so why stand there for like three hours? "First word, cat."

I started walking to my seat before I even said anything. "K-A-T," I deadpanned, and sat down.

"You're being marked, Haruno," Kakashi-sensei deadpanned also, mimicking me. I can't believe he marks us on a spelling contest. It was like I got the card that said "Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200 dollars."

"Wow, that Haruno's an idiot." Another one of her friggen' friends. "Everyone knows it's spelled with two T's."

At that moment, everyone could hear a snapping noise, and it wasn't my pencil. Though that added to it.

To top off my wonderfully crappy day, it was pouring rain outside, and I had to walk home. Perfect. At least I had an umbrella. Guess it wasn't that terrible.

When I got home, I hung my umbrella to dry, then immediately started to review geography on the internet. Google was a great place to search for... well anything.

The next day would definitely be better. I convinced myself it would.

But, of course, that doesn't always happen, even when you wished it would.

I was halfway walking to school when…

It started rain.

Again.

And I left my umbrella hanging to dry in my house.

"Oh, DAM-"

All of a sudden, a car drove by and drenched me in filthy muddy water. I was ready to kill myself at that moment. Or at least the person nearest me.

"What the HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"

"Alright, I know EVERYONE'S happy about me coming late this morning…" Kakashi smiled. How scary.

Everyone stared at him.

"…So that's why we're having a… POP QUIZ!" Kakashi finished, actually throwing his hands up like it was a party. "On GEOGRAPHY!"

Everyone groaned. A geography pop quiz on the day after they got their geography tests back? He's got to be joking.

"Alright, you will have twenty minutes… get to work!"

Okay… I studied last night. This shouldn't be that hard…

"57, Sakura. Not your greatest… again."

Thanks for rubbing that in, Kakashi-sensei.

But at least I did better. Even if it was by only one percent.

"Yes! 90! I did better than last time!"

"94! Me too!"

Okay… everyone else did better too…

"95… I… no! I… I did worse than last time!"

Ha… well serves her right. That ugly conceited bitc-

"Oh wait, the bonus! I actually got 100! Yay!"

Holy crap. Why the hell was there a bonus on a QUIZ?! Aside from that, a quiz was supposed to be EASY! With EASY questions!

"Sakura, what did you get?"

I knew this would come eventually. Good thing I was prepared.

"I did better too…" I murmered.

Well at least it wasn't lying. I really did get a better score than last time.

"I'm… gonna go to the bathroom now… again…" I said blankly. Wow, prepared my ass.

I walked off just as I did the other day.

"Pfft. What, did she get 71 this time?"

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to control myself.

But that wasn't really such a smart idea since I bumped into someone in the hall and we both fell over backwards from the impact. It kinda hurt so I decided to stay there on the floor, staring at the ceiling. There really was no point in getting up. Physically and psycologically. I was already rock bottom. And I didn't really have to go to the bathroom, so there was no hurry.

"Oh, sorry. Here let me help you up-" the guy who I bumped into started to say. Obviously they didn't think staying on the floor was very sensible. He picked up his books and got off the floor like the world was ending and didn't want to die before handing in his science project.

"No," I said stubbornly.

"…Um, excuse me?"

"I said, no, I won't let you help me up," I explained clearly.

"…Er… Okay, do you want me to get your books off the floor-"

"No." I inwardly spat at his politeness. He sounded like he should be the old lady at the end of the street handing out bunches of candy to little kids on Halloween, and then lying about how cute their costumes were.

"Well, what do you want?" he said, getting frustrated. I could tell. I was really doing this on purpose to get him mad. And it was kinda fun.

"I want you to leave me alone and get on with your fabulous life, because mine surely isn't half as great as yours is. It's probably like a quarter- No, not even. More like this much-" I help up a thumb and forefinger almost touching, "-of your fabulous life."

"Uh, do you need me to get you a doctor or a therapist perhaps-" he started again, sounding unsure.

"NO! For the last god damn time, NO!" I screamed, crossing my arms.

"…Yeah, I'm gonna go get a doctor…" he said, walking off.

"NO!" I was going to get up to try and stop him, but in the process of getting up, I somehow accidentally stuck my leg out in front of him and he tripped, landing face flat on the floor. At least now I didn't feel so bad anymore. We were now in the same place. On the dirty, pathetic floor.

"Oh, sorry-" I began.

I stopped when I spotted his pop quiz paper, that we had to do this morning, fall out of his bag and there were three big red numbers on it that said 105.

My jaw dropped. 105?? Not only did he get perfect, but he got the bonus five percent!

Then I spotted something else on the paper.

Uchiha Sasuke

Ugh. You've gotta be kidding me. I bumped in this guy? He was the guy who was popular. He was the guy who was good at EVERYTHING. Yes, EVERTHING! He was the guy who was probably that one of every (guessing) twenty people in the world who had a photographic memory. And I was definitely not one of them. Oh, most definitely not. I'd be like the last person God would pick to have a photographic memory.

"Damn… life isn't fair…" I muttered, lying back on the floor. Why? WHY did he have to get 105...

"Why? Because I got one-oh-five on the pop quiz?" He was off the floor and standing on two feet once again. But wait a second...

Woah! He can read minds? Probably why he gets 105's on quizzes. OH-EM-GEE! He CHEATS! CHEATER, CHEATER!

"How did you know?!" My suspscious tone made a sudden entrance.

"Because my quiz paper fell out of my bag and you were staring at it for like a full minute," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was.

Ah. Scratch the reading minds theory. He's clearly way too observant to be human. That's it. He's a really smart alien.

"Anyway, it's not my fault you got a 57 percent," he said airily.

Wait, woahh again.

"How did you know I got a 57??" I almost screamed. Oh my god, back to the reading minds theory! I repeat! Back to the reading minds theo-

"I sit beside you in class," he enunciated each word as if I couldn't hear regular English properly.

…Well anyway, out of ideas. This is probably why I'm getting 50's in school.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me yet, genius?" I asked sarcastically.

"Maybe that the bell's going to ring in a few seconds and hoards of students are going to step on you like you're a doormat if you don't get off the floor."

…

RIIIIIING

Dammit.

I officially hated him, and his evil, annoying smart-ness.

I was about to walk away with the little itty-bitty dignity that I had left, when Sasuke called out to me.

"Hey! Just so you know, the text book has ALL the answers in it!"

"90. Good job, Sakura."
And before you ask, no, Sakura did not cheat on the test. She merely studied off the answers from the textbook. How very smart, ne? If only I could do that.

-Lynn/SiLLyKiTTyx3