Tears
A/N: This is a 2-3 chapy fic. This is an anguish/Romance type of story. Just read and tell me what you think. I'm not exactly that type to write anguish. So I'm trying here. But I'm a sucker for the fairy tells endings. The ones were you live happily ever after and all. Lol. This is slash people... so if you're against that I suggest you leave this part of the And for those that are against slash, but still decide to read this and send me a flame... Well it will be used to lighten up my day because I'll be laughing uncontrollably at it. So don't send me a flame. Understood? Ok then. Anyway for dose who aren't against slash sorry for going into a lil rant. Please I'll appreciate your advice for future stories or review or whatever you what to send me, that are not a flames. Oh I also wrote this 'cause there ain't that many SB/HP fics out there.
Parings: PH/SB.
Warnings: Spoilers for OotP (Book 5). This is slash. Unbeated sorry for any mistakes.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The characters I'm using are not mine. I'm also not making any profit out of this, other than sharpening up my writing skills. The owner of the characters is J. K. Rolling. NOT ME. So don't sue people. The poem that is used later on in this fic is not mine. It is by Jay Stevens, and it's called Tears. Also there are going to be some saying here, they are not mine. I got them from some of the authors of bio page and others from this book (which I forgot the name of).
Tears
Chapter 1: The walky-talky
'This is a story of pain, sorrow, happiness, and love. As I have repeated many times during the process of writing this book. But these four words... I have an extensive amount of experience of what are the meanings of these expressions at the tender age of my early twenties, twenty-one to be precise.'
'At the beginning of the second war against Voldemort, I had thought that I had lost someone dear to me. Someone that at the time was like an older brother and best friend that was really a child at heart. At the time of the unwanted departure, I was fifteen summers (or years whatever you what to call it) old. And I had already suffered great amounts of pain by that point of my life.'
'I did not have the luxury of grieving my lost friend, and I was at the point of shattering. I did not know how I made it trough the summer after my fifth year at my relative's house and after that Hogwarts. I supposed I have to give some of the credit to my "family". They unknowingly helped me, but also did not give me time to grieve for my lost companion. They also did not push me beyond my limit. They kept me busy for the whole summer and made me do house work. Moreover, I have to admit the housework did astonishing changes to my outer appearance. As for school, I studied until I was as good as Hermione. I was one of the top students of my year.
'I never had time to say goodbye to him until I had defeated Voldemort. After that task and that prophecy was completed and we acknowledged who had died for the survival of the wizadrine world as well as the muggle world, we (by we I mean the Order of the Phoenix) decided to perform a ceremony for the brave souls that helped fight. It was then that I had finally taken him out of my subconscious.'
'...I finally had time go say how much I lamented what he had to go through. That we didn't get to bond like we both wanted and still haven't. It's funny how everything turned out to be. It has definitely changed a lot, especially me.'
'I had lost all hope in my life. I was not going to kill my self, but I'm going to be honest here, the thought did cross my mine, more than one time. I didn't what to give up on what my mother, my sweet mom gave up for me so that I could live. And I am grateful for her sacrifice as well as my fathers. I wished I had more time than that of only one year to get to know them. I wish I had a decent memory of them, but when I'm in a deep dream I can see them as if when they were alive. Its weird, but sometimes I have the most vivid dreams with me companioning them. And that they accept my decision on which person I ended up with as my life partner.'
'Anyway back to the ceremony, we decided to honor those that passed away on both wars. The one in which my beloved parents died in, which also was the one were Sirius was convicted as a murderer and was sent to Azkaban, and the one were my friends, companions, along with teachers and others that I did not have time to acquaint my self with, because of my grueling training sessions with my teachers that each trained me in a specific topic, fought in.'
'It was a terrible feeling for me. I was grieving for so many people that I cared about. The feeling was over whelming, that I was positive that I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, but then instead of things getting better they told me (They as in Dumbledore) that they had chosen me to speak in memory of my godfather. He said this in front of every one from the Order. I have no idea how I managed not to brake then, but I did survived Voldemort, so I thought this was nothing but emotional pain. I could take it. I did, with an air of sadness, but I did it. I wasn't going to fall down crying and full of hurt in front of the Order members. I do have my pride after all.'
'The time passed unknown to me. I did not care in nothing but to get my speech right for Siri. I felt it was the least I could do for the man. After all he did die for me and my lack of common sense.'
'Well the day finally came, Ginny made sure I had everything needed for the speech, all from making sure I had taken a shower to seeing if I needed anything else. I don't know what I would have done with out her. Correction, I do know. I would have been a wreck. She was my anchor. And I love her for it, and she knows I do.'
'If it wasn't for that day I would have ended up marrying Ginny. That was a relief for us both. Not that we don't love each other, we do as I have stated earlier, but just not in the same sense as lovers would. Everybody expected us to settle down and marry each other. They thought that we had romantic feelings for one another. How wrong they were. Up to this day Ginny has never faltered in our friendship like my other "friends". She has stick with me through tick and thin. I am very grateful for that.'
'I still remember that day as if were yesterday. It has been one of the worst and most wonderful days of my life. It felt long and I was exhausted, but it was worth it at the end...'
"HARRY! Were are you?" Ginny screeched.
"I'm in the loo. I'll be out in a minute." Harry's muffled voice made its way to Ginny.
A few moments later the sound of a door opening and then closing was heard. Out of the room, Harry came out wearing the robe for the ceremony. They were a midnight colored black. At the end of the sleeves there was the symbol of the goddess, finely stitched with silver tread. The edges of the hood were decorated with a blood red enbroidment of a phoenix in flight right in the center. To the sides of the phoenix, there was the image of waves of fire. Underneath of the robe Harry was wearing black slacks with a black leader belt and black leader polished shoes. He was also wearing a blood red button down shirt.
"What do you think Gin? Do I look good or bad?" Harry's uncertain voice broke the silence that had appeared out of no were since he made his presence known.
"Good? That's the max of what you think you might look? Damn Harry, if you weren't gay..." Ginny's voice echoed in the silent house. "You look hot, Fine, Exquisite, and much more." Ginny's last reply rang around the room.
A deep flushing Harry made his way towards his companion and embraced her with all his might, causing Ginny to turn slightly blue in the face for the lack of oxygen. Finally letting go of the poor woman, Harry reached in to his folder that was lying on top of his desk that was situated in his over size room.
"Wish me luck, Gin. I'm going to need it today." Came Harry's nervous voice.
"You will do fine Harry. Don't worry about it. Now hurry up and les go, if we don't hurry will be late. And we can't have that." Ginny stated.
With that said, both adult's apperated at the location were the burials and ceremony would be held for this occasion.
Soon both Harry and Ginny were surrounded by people, open caskets, graves, shrines of the killed persons that they could not fine the body for, boutique of flowers, and decorations for the occasion.
All of a sudden the both of them heard an old mans call for Harry. "Harry my boy. Glad you finally made it. I was starting to get worried. We are about to start. Let me lead you to Sirius shrine." The headmaster's old somewhat weak voice made its self heard.
Just as fast Dumbledore led them to were someone had decorated a long table full of wonderful memory's that had something to do with the late man. As they became near to their destination all three persons started getting more sober and had a liquid crystal substance falling from the rim of there eyes. Tracing a strait line down there cheeks and finally falling into the ground, splattering into the nutrient rich soil. They were surrounded by silence and if either of the people were listening closely to the sound around them and not paying attention on their pain and loss, they could have heard the splattering noise of their tears.
"Harry," Dumbledore said. "you have about one hour to get ready. I'm going to start the ceremony in a minute. So I suggest getting ready, emotionally wise."
"Yes, I will." Harry said.
To his word, Dumbledore started the ceremony in a mater of moments. He had started with saying how Sirius was a lively person. Always looking for the best in people, and playing pranks and jokes on unsuspecting pass biers. It went on like this with different people going up into the podium and describing how was the late mans characteristics and who exactly was Sirius Black until finally, Harry was called up to do the same as the others.
As soon as Harry was called up, Ginny gave him an encouraging smile and squeezed his hand gently as a form of comfort and support. Harry then proceeded to the podium with a sober, but sad expression gracing his face. With regretful, but determent steeps, Harry strode straight to were Dumbledore first started the memorial.
Clearing his trough, Harry started...
"I may not have spent much time with my godfather, but what little time I did have with him, I learned what type of person he was. Some people say that you reincarnate, that your soul travels back into the world of living people. If that is true I deeply wish that his next life will be better than the one he led here. He did have fantastic situations happening to him, but he had greater sorrows in his life as he got older."
"Sirius was a great man, from what I could tell. Always had a boyish grin plastered in his face. Every once in a wile I would talk to him, to see if he could give me advise. He always had something to say to me. That man never ran out of quotes. To tell you the truth I got a little freaked at first. Thinking the jokester, prankster, almost never serious man, giving quotes out as advice. It was until I finally heard his oh so "great advice" or sayings that I got calmed down."
"He told me these following sayings and I quote 'Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel to light, go down there and light the bloody thing yourself,' 'love your enemies. It really pisses them off,' 'Nobody is perfect. I'm nobody and therefore I'm perfect,' Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go,' 'I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them,' 'Don't take life too seriously. You won't come out of it alive anyway,' 'There are two infinities—the universe and stupidity. Although I'm not so sure about the universe,' 'Everybody should belief in something, I belief that I'll have another drink,' 'I have a new philosophy. I'm going to dead one day at a time,' 'Wit is educated insolence,' and finally 'The reason husbands and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes.' The sayings always made me what to smile." By the end everyone had a small grin in there faces, all thinking that was so like Sirius.
"I know that Sirius was a hot head. I had seen him a couple of times loose it. Gratefully I never had direct experience my self. And I'm happy for that, because I know that I never made him disappointed in me no matter how short of time period."
'I'll always miss the man. Even if he was an insufferable brat at times and acting like an over grown child. But that was him, his personality, and I love him for it." All the way trough his memorial speech, Harry sounded sad and broken. He had shimmering eyes, with tears at the rims. And every once in a wile the crystal substances would be too much for his poor eyes to hold, and they would fall. Dampening his folder that had his actual speech, safely tuck inside. He had decided to go with his heart, instead of what he had written down. It felt more real, not like a fake charade.
By the end of Harry's speech, the sky had already gotten dark. It seemed that it was going to rain anytime soon. It looked as if the sky was about to fall down at the intensity of water the dark clouds contained. As soon as Harry left the podium it started to lightly drizzle, but with each passing moment the light drizzle was getting stronger. So, because if the oncoming rain the people were starting to leave.
"Harry, come let's go. It's already raining. You don't what to catch a cold, do you?" Ginny's motherly voice came from his right.
"No Gin. I want to stay a little bit longer. I want to have some personal time with out anybody here to say my final goodbye at Siri." Harry said in a life less voice.
Eyeing Harry, Ginny could tell that he needed to get something out of his chest. Normally she wouldn't have agreed to this, but seeing him in that state she decided to let him stay. "Okay Harry I'll be at our flat. Don't take to long though."
Nodding his head, Ginny left him alone with his thoughts.
Staring into the shrine, Harry noticed that the candles were still on, they had not been extinguished with the rain and that the ink in the papers was not running. Harry then realized that the objects were put in a spell to keep them safe from harm.
A minute or two ticked by and then all of a sudden Harry felt someone clap him on his shoulder. As he turn around to see who the intruder was, Harry was not surprised to see Draco Malfoy at his side. The two had Become friends during the duration of the second war against old Voldy. The both of them could read each other as an open book.
With a determined look on his face Draco asked "What's wrong Harry?"
Seeing that look on his friends face Harry knew that there was no way he could avoid answering him. "Hmmm... nothing, I just wanted to get some things out of my chest. You know." Harry replied.
"Yeah, well I guess I can see that. How about this, when you finish liberating your self of whatever you have, come inside the church. I'll wait for you there. I what to show you something that I think you are going to die of shock of." Draco said.
Thinking over what he had just heard Harry said, "I got to admit you got my Griffindorish curiosity at its peek. So yeah I'll go with you when I'm finish."
"Good." And with that Draco embraced Harry and unknowingly to the unsuspecting Harry, Draco put a little walky-talky in his pocket. With that done Draco let go of Harry and made his way to the Church, the both of them soaking wet.
A/N: well that was chapy #1. What do ya people think? R/R