I do not own House MD. (Sadly.)

1 little favor

He had some questions.

First of all, what present do you give to a woman? It's been a long time since he bought anything for a woman. He wasn't sure what women liked anymore.

Next question. (Well, it's actually the first again with a little more information.) What do you give to a woman for her thirty-fifth birthday? To see the bright side at least it wasn't her fortieth birthday. That would be a disaster. Then she would whine during the whole party about how old she was and how terrible her life was.

And here comes the best one.

What do you give to a woman for her thirty-fifth birthday with whom both you and your current boyfriend had a romantic relationship and/or had sex?And you haven't seen her for almost five years.

Gregory House couldn't answer any of these questions. However, he really needed to get a present for Allison Cameron. So he chose the easiest way to solve the problem. He called his best friend to do it.

"Why always me?" Wilson asked when House ordered him to 'get something for her, stat'.

"Cause you're my BFF, Jimmy. You know that, don't you?" House answered in a sarcastic tone. "Do it, do it, bitty bitty please!"

"Why doesn't Robert buy her something? He was the one who dragged you into this, right? You didn't even wanna go."

"I still don't. I'm sure she's a proud wife of a famous professor now and they have at least eight children. I really don't want to see her perfect life in Wisteria Lane."

"Okay, first of all, she lives in New York. Secondly, according to her letters she currently lives alone. But why do you even care? I thought you were happy with Robert. You know, the guy who should get something for Cameron. Not me."

"Yeah, the thing is, Robert is down in Oz right now and he only comes back for 'Ally's birthday'." House was mocking Chase's Aussie accent. He really liked to do that and he became particularly good at it in the last couple of years. "So, sadly, it will be your task to get a nice prezzy. It shouldn't be too hard. You will go shopping for her anyway, won't you?"

"I would, if I hadn't already bought her something a month ago."

House remained silent.

"Never mind, I'll do it." Wilson said in a resigned tone and hung up.

"That's my boy." House said to himself satisfied and sat down to his piano.

2 on a couch

Someone knocked on the damn door again. First it was that missionary guy who decided to save him from going to hell. Then it was the postman. And after that a neighbor who thought he played the piano too loud. He was so fed up with the front door he was thinking about walling it up. His leg hurt badly and he took too many Vicodin pills already.

"I'll never reach heaven, so what? Why do you care anyway?" House yelled from the couch.

Wilson let himself in carrying a wrapped box with a disgustingly big ribbon on the top.

"Oh, it's just you." House turned back to the TV and continued watching the OC rerun marathon. God, he missed this show.

"You're welcome." Wilson said placing the box on the coffee table and sitting next to House. "I bought a−"

"I'm not interested. Hey, look, this is the episode when Marissa almost dies in Mexico when she overdoses herself. I wonder what she took."

"Yeah, it's really interesting and very important if you wanna understand the storyline. So, when does Robert come home?"

"Tomorrow afternoon." House said without really paying attention to his friend. "Would you shut up for ten minutes? I want to hear what the guy who has nice hair but not as nice as Chase's says."

Wilson did shut up and watched the rest of the episode with his friend. He only dared to speak after the end credits.

"House, do you know what day it is tomorrow?"

"Mmm, Friday?" Seeing the expression on Wilson's face, he added, "Hey, it was a tricky question, wasn't it?"

"Tomorrow is your second anniversary with Chase."

"So?"

"So? It's traditional to get something to your boyfriend for your anniversary. Or do something special."

"Please Jimmy, we're not women. And we're not you."

"You're telling me you didn't do anything special last year either?"

"What counts as special? 'Cause we do special things every night, I'm sure we did something at that night as well. For example last week−"

"Ew. Please, don't tell me."

"I didn't really mean to but if it's the only way to shut you up… I don't want to hear more about this anniversary crap."

'At least I tried.' Wilson thought as he was heading towards the front door to go home.

3 people's past

"Are we there yet?"

House was sitting on the passenger seat next to Chase who was driving his shiny new Volkswagen. House let him buy it although he thought it was too girlish even for gay people. (And they were not gay people anyway, just two men who happened to like fucking each other. The two of them agreed on this many months ago after a little too romantic dinner, then they rented some good porn and watched it all night. But, of course, they did not just sit still in front of the TV.)

"Stop acting like a child, House. I'm tired enough without you distracting me. Do you want to die in a car crash?"

"No, Dad. Sorry." After seeing Chase's disdainful look in the mirror, he decided to continue in a non-kid tone, "Hey, aren't you dying to see Cameron's face when she finds out about us? It will be so funny."

"No. And I don't think she'll be interested, anyway." Chase saw the still excited expression on House's face so he had to drop the act. "Yes, I'm waiting for this since we got together. After all, she dumped me because of you. And now I'm the one who's got you."

"I'm the one who's got you, but whatever. It will be funny."

"Yes, it will."

4 months together

"You came!"

Allison Cameron was glad to see her ex-colleagues. Sure, they were her ex-boyfriends too, but that was a long time ago and those memories faded away. But they both looked really good. It was strange seeing them in her NY apartment.

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world!" House was sarcastic as usual, but Cameron didn't mind. She started to feel nostalgic.

"Hey, Allison, would you mind introducing us?" A tall, blond guy appeared from nowhere and embraced Cameron from behind. He grinned at House and Chase. Their face was full of disgust, but Cameron's boyfriend didn't seem to notice that.

"Oh, right, sorry. Ted, these are Drs Greg House and Robert Chase. I used to work with them. House, Chase, this is Ted. We've been going out for four months."

"Erm, congratulations." Chase's comment didn't really sound like human speech, rather like a bad cough. Cameron grimaced, but Ted only grinned some more. Then he made an excuse and walked away.

"That?" House asked, laughing. "That is your type now? You used to have better taste, you know." House pointed at Chase, then at himself. Chase was smirking too.

"I don't care what you think. At least I have someone in my life. You don't." Cameron did not exactly sound like a person who didn't care but she tried to hide it.

"How do you know?" Chase asked with a crooked smile, knowing what will come next.

"I don't see any women next to you. Or are they invisible?" Cameron looked at the men's faces and she knew something was not right. But she did not know what all that smiling meant.

"Tell her, Robert. She wouldn't believe me." House was even more excited than he was on his birthday when he found out that Wilson bought him an L Word DVD box set.

"Okay." Chase cleared his throat. "House, I mean, Greg and I are together. We've been living together for two years."

House grinned.

Chase grinned.

Cameron's jaw dropped.

House limped closer to Chase.

Chase stepped even closer to House.

Cameron just stood there. She couldn't move or talk.

At last she was able to say, "You're kidding."

"We're not." This time House was serious. To confirm his words he cupped Chase's face with his hands and kissed him long.

'God, they're not kidding.' Cameron watched them for a few seconds. Then she had to go to the bathroom. She wasn't feeling sick. The problem was she did not wanna throw up.

5 in the morning

It was still dawn, but Cameron was already having her morning shower. She was pouring some more shower gel onto her palm, although she washed her whole body at least four times in the last ten minutes.

Meanwhile, House and Chase were still sleeping in her bed beyond the wooden door.

6 minutes later

"What's the matter, Allison?"

Chase was standing in front of Cameron. He only wore his boxers. House was still lying in the bed, naked. The two men looked very pleased and happy. Cameron didn't.

"I slept with you. I slept with both of you." Cameron felt disgusted with herself.

"So what? Wasn't it good?" House asked cheerfully. "Cause I don't think it was good. I think it was great. Huge. Just like my−"

"Shut up, House!"

The problem, thought Cameron, was that all House said was true. The night was magnificent. It was the best sex she ever had.

She never thought two men together can get her worked up like that. After coming out from the bathroom the previous day she drank an awful lot of gin tonic to distract herself. She tried to stay close to Tony all evening but he had to get to work by ten to do his night shift as a cop. After that all hell broke loose.

She started to flirt with Chase and House. Of course, all the gin didn't help her to hold herself back. The one good thing was that by the time she started kissing them on the neck, everybody else had gone home, so at least there was no witness.

It turned out House and Chase still liked women. They were not gay, just loved each other, but still wanted to have her to themselves too. It turned her on. It turned them on. So it happened.

The whole thing was new and exciting. She had them all over herself, but they didn't just give pleasure to her, they gave pleasure to each other as well. It probably lasted for hours but she couldn't remember clearly – with that amount of alcohol and that much delight, time went faster. Or maybe slower, it was hard to tell.

"Why? Do you want me to use my mouth for something else?" House didn't get the point. Chase did.

"Greg, she has a boyfriend, remember?" Chase's face looked really sad.

"I wasn't the only one last night who didn't think it was a problem. Right, Cameron?"

Cameron couldn't pretend she didn't want it to happen. She was the one who started it. But it was not her fault.

"Of course, it was the best night of my life, you know that. But it was also the worst. I'm disgusted with myself. I cheated on Ted." Cameron was almost crying. "And it's because of you two. You come here and… and you just tell me how much in love you are and how happy you are, and… and, god, you look so good."

Now she was really crying. Chase hugged her gently and started stroking her hair.

"You should go," sobbed Cameron but she hugged Chase so hard he couldn't have gone even if he wanted to.

"Are you happy, Allison?" Chase asked. "I mean, were you happy?"

Cameron shook her head.

"I wanted it to look like everything was all right. I have a good job, a good place, a good guy. But I'm afraid it's all just a big lie."

"I like the place." House smiled at Cameron and she smiled back with a big teardrop on her cheek. "Can't say this about the guy."

"Yeah, I noticed that. For that matter, he's nice. But… he's not you."

They sat in silence for a minute.

"Come back."

"What?"

"Come back, Allison," House repeated. He wasn't joking.

"I… I can't. Not like this. Having to watch you living your life together while I have to start everything from the beginning again… No."

"Who said we don't have a place for you in our life?" Chase brushed off a new teardrop appearing in the corner of Cameron's eye.

"This is crazy."

"Of course it is." House was grinning. "Now, where do you get the best breakfast in the Big Apple?"

Comments are loved and adored.