Okay, so a lot of stories are likely to show how people get together. Rarely do I see a story where rather than lead up to the couple getting together, they show what happens after. This is what I'm doing here, showing the result of a secret relationship between my favourite ship and also some psychological issues I'll deal with in both the present and the past. I'll try not to bash any characters but no promises.

Oh and for the record, if any sex happens then it won't be a lemon… for now. I'm not entirely comfortable writing them yet, I'll do a lime here and there however.

Okay so I feel like I toned down the perviness unconsciously, but I feel like there wasn't many opportunities for it.

Now if things don't make sense, they will be explained so don't worry.

One more thing: beef is literally listed on Google as a synonym for flesh.

Ladies and Gentlemen and those who claim not to be either of those two genders! I present to you: Secrecy.

If he was being totally honest, Issei never really saw himself in a relationship with her. A real relationship, at least. He dreamed she would just be a part of his harem, craving him and fighting other girls for his attention. Of course, as much as he wanted the harem, he knew it would just be a pipe dream. In fact, Issei had dreamed about him being in a relationship with most girls he knew: Asia, Irina, Xenovia and so on. But he could scarcely remember dreaming about her. Perhaps, subconsciously, he had accepted how impossible he believed it to be.

But as they held each other, as he felt her warmth, her hands, her breath, her bosom and most importantly her love, he was kicking himself about how he never realised. The best part though: she knew him. She knew every tiny little detail about him, every like, every perversion, every insecurity, every bad trait he had. Hell, she even knew his favorite kind of porn. And yet, she loved him anyway.

And to be totally honest with himself, he loved her, too. She'd always been nice to him. She never cared about his perversions (she actually found them pretty attractive) and she always wanted to see him grow in power and as a person. He never truly appreciated her until now. But now he understood her. Issei had found his love for her.

"Akeno-chan, you should probably go before Buchou wakes up."

"I don't wanna. I'm in Nirvana right now," she whispered.

To be fair, so was he. Her skin felt so good against his.

Akeno booped his nose with her finger. "Besides, this isn't anything new."

Well, she wasn't wrong. Maybe if they both played it like they were sleeping, Rias wouldn't mind as much… Who was he kidding? She'd get all jealous and possessive if a random girl on the street glanced at him with anything less than disgust. Issei could put up with a bit of jealousy, if he could keep having rendezvous with his secret lover.

He laid his head back on his pillow; Akeno rested her head on his chest. Was it a school day? Closing his eyes was risky… Eh, fuck it. He closed his eyes, unconsciously moving his hand to stroke his raven-haired lover's locks. It was so soft and thick. How a girl could be so perfect, he had no idea.

'Fallen Angel plus Human multiplied by devil. Pretty sure that answers the question.' Issei felt a presence. Not a pleasant one. Not an upset one (so that ruled out Asia), but an angry one. Looks like Rias had woken up and she was pissed.

"Akeno. Issei." She didn't use any honorifics, not good. "What's going on here?"

Her sweet tone could kill a man. Issei felt a weight leave his chest. Akeno had sat up; she lightly pinched his side to signal to keep his eyes closed.

"Rias, I'm merely sharing a bed with Ise-kun. Is that so wrong?"

Rias' frown deepened. "Yes! This is a privilege me and Asia are allowed, not you!"

Akeno held her hand to her cheek. "Ara ara~! So selfish Rias-chan!" Akeno teased.

Akeno dismounted the Red Dragon, carefully crawling over Asia. She gave Rias a cheeky smile, leaving her confused. Akeno didn't need to fight her; she had already won. She had won the best prize she could possibly win. She left the room, swaying her hips in a seductive motion.

"Well, that just happened. We should probably get up." Issei startled Rias, who assumed he was still sleeping.

"Were you awake the whole time?" she demanded. Issei nodded. "So you were stroking her hair, knowing full well what you were doing?" Rias' aura grew larger.

Issei shrugged. "Thought she was Asia."

Rias stared at him. Short answers? No stuttering? Not even the slightest bit nervous? And most concerning, he wasn't drooling over her body! "Are you okay, Ise?"

He gave her a smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Have a lie in if you want, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Issei quickly removed himself from the bed, leaving Rias more concerned about him than anything she had ever been concerned about in her life.

Issei had moved up to the fourth floor via the elevator. Lucky for him the elevator stopped outside the bathroom. He stepped inside, and there she was, sitting on the sink counter with the most seductive "Won't-you-come-in?" smile he'd ever seen. Issei climbed up onto the counter. A small red blush covered both their faces. They'd done this before, almost everyday for the month they'd been together.

Akeno stopped him. "Did you lock the door?"

Issei slid off the counter, lightly closed the door and locked it. "Could've spelt trouble for us."

Akeno giggled. "It'd be on your head."

"I'm not the one who would be labeled a bad friend," Issei retorted.

Akeno shook her head. "True, but you'd be labeled as a bad fiancè." Issei froze.

"What?"

"Remember the whole Satan Red thing and the dancing and dining tests?" Issei nodded. "That was all for you to become Rias' fiancè."

Issei processed that for a moment. "Meh, whatever. Not like I was supposed to know right?" Akeno nodded. "Yeah, it was kinda shitty of them to just keep it from you. Oh, you poor thing you must be in shock," Akeno said, rubbing her leg invitingly. "Come to Mama."

Issei grinned, then climbed back up on the counter and sat in Akeno's lap. The two devils' faces were centimeters away from each other, their eyes dripping with lust. They violently locked lips, Akeno moaning into the kiss. She was in a state bliss. Issei touched her, she touched him.

She pushed him away. "We can't, not here anyway."

"Who cares," he said huskily. "You can just soundproof the room."

"They'll… walk… in…" She spoke between kisses.

"The door's locked, honey," Issei whispered.

She liked it when he called her stuff like that, it made her feel like they were married. Still, she pushed him away again. "They'll break down the door and you know it."

She wasn't wrong. Xenovia would try and break down the door if she got no answer, then they would be caught. After that, Issei would be castrated. As much as he thought it was worth it, he knew this would just drive a wedge between them and the others. They needed to be a unit, friends. Even the slightest bit of resentment could cause the team to crumble. Issei climbed down from the counter. He would always respect her wishes.

"I'll be looking forward to my birthday then," Issei said with the dumbest grin he'd ever managed.

Akeno bit her lip. "My present to you: I'll fuck you on the dining room table."

Issei laughed. "Bet ya ¥5000 that everyone finds out about us before then."

"Done." Akeno jumped down from the counter, placing a small kiss on Issei's cheek. "I'll let you use the bathroom first, baby."

Issei winked at her as she left. Alone again, he turned on the tap and splashed his face with cold water. He looked into the mirror, he saw her. Long black hair, gorgeous violet eyes and that evil look on her face.

'Wait, what?'

Would you die for me?

'Shit, not again.'

She looks a lot like me doesn't she? Although, her tits are humongous compared to mine. You're a lucky kid, Issei-kun~.

Issei punched the mirror, smashing it in the process. "Get the fuck outta my head."

Jeez, now you're gonna have seven years of bad luck!

"Go away, damn it!"

Alright, alright but I'll be back later though~!

Issei sat down against the counter, clutching his head, tears streaming from his eyes.

-A little later-

The Occult Research Club walked to school together every day, always headed by Rias Gremory. They caught the eyes of all passers-by. So many beautiful girls clumped into one cavalcade flesh. In between them all, was the lucky guy they loved. Though, Issei had become so accustomed to being surrounded by these goddesses (Ironic) that he found it rather trivial. It was the same journey everyday, nothing changed.

"So why's the order changed?" Issei looked at Xenovia with confusion plastered across his face.

"What?" He said dumbly, luckily he wasn't the only one who was confused.

"We usually walk in a certain order. From Buchou's left it usually goes Issei-kun, Asia and Koneko-chan. From her right it's Akeno-san, me, then Irina. But today Issei-kun is in between me and Akeno-san," Xenovia explained.

Issei's sweat dropped. "How do you remember that?!" Asia looked over at Issei, puffing her cheeks. 'I think she might be annoyed at me.'

"You know, I think you're right Xenovia. So tell me Issei, why has the order changed?" Rias stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Does it really matter?" Issei said, rubbing his face.

"Yes!" Rias and Asia chanted.

Issei shook his head. "Cause I wanted to be smothered between some different tit flesh for once!" he declared.

That earned him a slap. Not from Rias surprisingly, but from Asia, who walked on ahead. Rias on the other hand, well…

"Is it true, Ise?! Are my boobs not perfect enough for you?!" Rias grabbed the poor boy and pushed his head into her chest. "Just say the word and I'll do whatever you want, okay? Touch, grope, suck, I don't care!" Rias continued to rant on and on, much to the amusement of the remaining girls.

As Issei was thrown around while his face was deep in firm flesh, he could hear Xenovia laughing harder than she ever had. Although, as much as it pained him to admit… he was loving this. Even though he had drowned at all sound at this point, he was 100% sure Rias was still ranting.

Issei felt a shiver down his back, two hands grasped his chest and pulled him back into two far softer mounds of flesh. He looked up and was greeted by the gorgeous face of the love of his life. He looked forward and saw a pouting Rias, her cheeks were puffed.

"Don't give me that look, Buchou," Akeno smirked. "It's not my fault you can't keep your man~!"

Issei cringed ever so slightly. Not the most subtle jab in the world but good enough.

"As much as I'm loving this, can we please keep going?" Issei said.

"Oh? Do you like it when girls do indecent things with you in public?" Xenovia said with a smirk.

"Exhibitionist pervert." Koneko said monotonically, pointing at Issei.

"Stop doing indecent things in public, you pervert!" Irina shouted, covering her eyes.

"Mou~! Don't bully my Issei-kun!" Akeno said with a small pout.

"Oh? Your Issei? Since when did you become his master?" Rias said haughtily.

That irked Issei ever so slightly.

"I don't need to be his master to claim him as my own," Akeno said, her smile remaining.

Issei broke free of Akeno's grasp, he looked at Akeno and shook his head slightly. She understood him almost instantly and kept walking. "Are we going to keep bullying Issei-kun? We'll be late."

The group continued there little journey without much more delay, with exception of Rias and Akeno fighting over who took Issei's arm but that was par for the course. Though, Issei did feel a small bit of tension between Rias and Akeno. As they walked through the school gate they were met with more staring than usual, mostly to due to the fact Rias and Akeno were linked on each of his arms, shooting daggers at each other. And of course there were the hushed whispers from the surrounding students.

"I wonder how much he's paying them?"

"You'd think they'd try to maintain their image…"

Dude he is sooo lucky!"

"I'd kill to hit that. He must be going at it every night!"

"Dude, he's probably forcing them."

Everyday. Everyday he heard the same bullshit. If he was being honest, Issei didn't mind. He knew he had more chance of screwing them than anyone else in the world.

'Wow, I'm such a douchebag. I blame Akeno-chan.'

He was practically dragged into the school. Although when the two girls realised that they had to part ways with their love, they were considering dragging him back outside. The Occult Research Club parted in opposite directions, Issei and Akeno looked back at each other with Akeno giving the pervert a wink.

Xenovia, who was a strange sight when she lacked Asia and Irina by her side, gave Issei a large slap on the back as they walked; "So what's been going on with you and Akeno-san?".

Issei's head snapped in her direction. "What?"

"You and her seem to have gotten quite close recently."

Issei shrugged. "Really? I thought we were just as normal."

Xenovia squinted her eyes. "Maybe she's just gotten bolder recently." She tapped her chin.

'Thank God (Ow) she's so dense.'

The two entered the classroom, to which he was greeted by the raging bull known as Kiryuu. Issei would've felt her aura flare, if she had one at least. She looked as though she was ready to rip Issei's face off.

"You hurt Asia-chan's feelings!" She almost roared it.

"...I walked in between different people. She's overreacting."

This made Kiryuu even angrier. "The act of walking to and from school is a sacred thing! Even changing it slightly can hurt potential love interests!"

'I can't believe I'm listening to this.'

As Kiryuu ranted on and on and on, Issei and Xenovia slipped away. Issei knew he was gonna be destined for greatness, mostly cause he sat at the back of the class next to the window. It was a good seat with a great view, though he often got distracted during class. Probably why his grades were so low. He felt a chill; Asia was staring right at him. He stared back at her.

"Why are you so annoyed about this?" Issei said, clear irritation in his voice.

"...not good enough…" she muttered.

"What?"

"You think my body's not good enough!" Asia shouted.

Issei stared at Asia for what seemed like minutes, he began to laugh uncontrollably. "Asia.. how could.. you think that.." he said through bouts of laughter.

"Why are you laughing? Stop laughing!" Asia said through a huge pout.

"C'mon Asia! You're great, I don't even care about your tits! You're my cute little sister."

Asia sighed.

"Little sister…"

Issei knew that Asia loved him, he realised that after him and Akeno got together. But he didn't like her like that, she was a sister to him. Of course, he knew she would never act like a sister but it was nice to dream.

"The dreaded; 'like a sister to me' line. How could you, Issei-kun?" Xenovia teased.

Issei turned to her; "You'll be next Xenovia-chan."

Xenovia shivered. "Meanie," she breathed.

When the teacher entered the classroom, everyone went quiet. Rossweisse was clad in her silver suit, her long silver reached all the way down to her back. She picked up a piece of chalk and started writing on the blackboard. Issei sighed and put his head on the desk, he knew it was a matter of time before Rossweisse threw something at him and of course he was ready for it.

These past few weeks had been a blur. A good blur but a blur nonetheless. He had no clue how Rias hadn't caught him and Akeno yet. The star-crossed lovers hadn't exactly been very subtle. Somehow, despite claiming that she was always watching him, Rias hadn't noticed that Issei always went to the fourth floor bathroom in the morning. Furthermore, she hadn't noticed that Issei spent most of his time 'doing homework' with Akeno. Strange indeed. Not that he was complaining, of course. He welcomed it.

Issei's senses flared. He could feel it flying through the air. In a split second his head fired up and he caught the stray chalk.

He smirked. "Try harder next time, Rossweisse-san."

Rossweisse narrowed her eyes. "That's 'Sensei' to you, Hyoudou-kun!"

"Whatev-" Issei was cut off by the PA system.

"Can Issei Hyoudou please come to the Administrator's office please? That's Issei Hyoudou to the Administrator's office, thank you."

The whole class gave Issei stares and of course the age old, "Oooooh".

Issei got up from his desk and left the classroom, making sure to throw the chalk at Rossweisse before he did so. What could the Administrator want with him? As he climbed the stairs, he thought back to the woman on the PA system. That voice was familiar, too familiar. It's almost as if it was…

Everything went black.

-Unknown-

Everything was still black, although Issei was entirely conscious. He tried to get a grasp of his surroundings, feeling around the area. There was a spell on his eyes, he couldn't see a thing. He shivered when a husky voice filled the room.

"You think I'd stay away from you for so long?" She purred.

Issei chuckled, "You've done it everyday since we met, another day is hardly anything special."

She pushed him to the floor, releasing the spell on his eyes. Her gorgeous face was revealed to him, god those violet eyes were far too beautiful. There was one thing that was bothering him…

"Are we in the gym cupboard?" Issei asked.

"Yes, why?"

Issei laughed. "Of all the places to fuck, the gym cupboard?" Issei was still laughing.

Akeno slumped. "Do you wanna go somewhere else?"

"Shut up." Issei pulled her down, wrapping arms around her neck. Their lips crashed into each other, swirling their tongues around each other's mouths.

"Xenovia.. is.. catching on," Issei said between kisses.

Akeno pushed him back. "What? How do you know?"

"She noticed that we've gotten closer," he explained.

"What're we going to do if she finds out?"

Issei shrugged. "Let her in on it?" Akeno narrowed her eyes. "Or not."

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Now hush." Akeno pushed her lips against his once again, and the two became one.

Akeno started to move her rear end, rubbing it up and down against Issei's crotch. She let out a small moan when it pricked her own pelvis.

"It's as big as I remember it~."

"You act as if we haven't fucked in like, a month." He smirked.

"Mm, you're so cocky. Looks like I'm gonna have to punish you." Akeno dug her nails into Issei's waist.

"Wait, are you gonna-"

"Yes." She breathed.

-Akeno-

The lovers had underestimated their stamina. Massively. They only stopped because they realised it was lunchtime. They'd been at it for hours, not that they were complaining about it. To them, it seemed as though time had came to halt as they consummated their love. If Akeno hadn't soundproofed the gym cupboard, then they most certainly would have been caught. And then Issei would have been castrated and murdered.

Akeno entered her classroom, drawing looks from everyone in the room. She hadn't been in class all day, which was very unlike her. Usually she was a model student who achieved near perfect marks. However, she had become the subject of much controversy among school counselors, who noticed her grades were dropping. She claimed she didn't know why but that was a lie of course. I should start telling the truth again. The real reason her grades began to drop, well, let's just say she began indulging in some private time rather than studying.

She took her seat behind her best friend, Rias, who turned around in her own seat to speak with the devilish sadist. "Where have you been?"

Akeno smirked. "Having a secret tryst with Ise," she admitted.

"Shut up. Where were you really?"

Akeno laughed. "Something personal. Don't wanna talk about it right now."

Rias respected her wishes. The two took their bento out of their bags and started eating. They were quite enthusiastic about it today. Why? Issei had made their lunches. They both took a piece of chicken at the same time, they curled their pinkies praying to all that was unholy that the chicken would be good. They put it in their mouths…

"It's so gooood~!"

"I know right!"

Thank Satan he could cook.

"By the way, I wanted to talk to you about something," Rias said with her mouth full.

"Does it happen to be about our mutual love interest?" Akeno inquired with an impudent smirk.

"Yeah, have you noticed that he doesn't seem all there recently?" Rias asked.

"Spacing out, headaches, getting up during the night, that sorta thing? It doesn't seem like a huge cause for concern. I think he might have broke a mirror this morning."

Rias nodded. "I know I seem a little paranoid but seeing him like this is… I feel as though there's a hole in my chest. Even this morning, after you left he seemed cold. He didn't look at my body, he didn't stutter and he wasn't nervous."

Akeno sat, her chin in her hand. "Maybe he's just become more mature," Akeno suggested, knowing full well what was wrong with Issei. "He's been through a lot."

"Has he talked to you about it?" Rias asked desperately.

"Why would he talk to me about it?"

Rias sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, he seems closer to you than he is to me. He talks to you more, trains with you more and even looks at you more."

Akeno looked surprised. "I never thought I'd hear those words come from your mouth, Rias. The only thing I can suggest right now is to watch, try and figure out what's wrong with Issei-kun. Hey, why don't we go and see him right now!" For her idea, Akeno received a dumbfounded look. "What? Are you afraid of everyone finding out that you're in love with Issei Hyoudou?!" Not a single person in the room missed that one.

Rias' face went completely red as she covered Akeno's mouth. "Shut up, Akeno!"

Akeno pulled Rias' hand off of her. "Oh come on, Rias, that whole stunt this morning kinda cemented the fact that the two of us are madly in love with the pervert. You should be proud of your love for him! He's the best guy I've ever met! I'll scream it from the rooftops if I have to, I love him more than life itself!" Akeno brazenly announced, leaving most people in her class in total shock.

She got up from her desk and grabbed Rias by the hand, pulling her out of the classroom and down the hallway. As much as Akeno wanted to keep Issei all for herself, she had to keep up the appearance of being a friendly love rival. She loved Rias almost as much as Issei, so she would do anything to maintain the friendship between the two. They came up on Issei's classroom, Akeno smiled at Rias and winked. 'This is gonna be great!

She opened the door, at pace that didn't seem too desperate. The Great Ladies of Kuoh drew looks from the second year classroom, half were confused and the other half were excited. The first thing Akeno noticed was Issei's neck being wrung by Xenovia and Kiryuu. She assumed the former was angry at Issei for leaving for four periods, the latter, however, probably just wanted to wring the poor boy's neck.

On the other hand; the first thing Rias noticed was that Asia was still ignoring Ise. This wasn't much of surprise but it irked her that she took such a small thing to heart. 'Sure I acted a little annoyed but I was only playing. I guess Asia is still salty about it.'

As much as Rias cared for her little sister, when it came to Issei she would stop at nothing for him. Even if she had to play a little unfair. Rias turned to Akeno, who she was surprised to find was already smothering Issei with a huge hug. 'That little minx!'

It didn't take Rias long to join her, pulling up a chair and resting her head on his shoulder; something she found oddly relaxing. Akeno sat on his desk; of course, she did this after he was thoroughly suffocated in between her mounds. She flashed her smile, something that made Issei go as red as beetroot. He was lucky that Rias had her eyes closed or she would definitely have noticed something between the two. That didn't stop Xenovia, however.

'There is definitely something between those two. The way they look at each other is just too intimate for words. Hmph, looks like Akeno-san's won.' Xenovia mused. She smiled. If he was happy then so was she.

"The longer you stare into my eyes will end in you getting more kisses," Akeno teased.

"The more kisses you give, the longer you'll have to stay in your own room," Issei countered with a coy smirk.

Akeno feigned hurt. "How could you?! You know I can't get a wink of sleep without you there!" It took him a few seconds but Issei caught on to the joke at Rias' expense.

It was after that little exchange that Rias got involved in the conversation. Were they mocking her? In fact, how did Akeno even know about that?

"What are you two talking about?"

The two lovers laughed.

"Ise-kun told me all about Sirzechs' visit, and your little outburst," Akeno said, giggling uncontrollably.

Rias' face turned redder than her hair, she began to tremble over her words; "W-W-W-Well that was o-o-only b-b-because I-I-I-I n-need, need s-something to hug."

Issei was trying (and failing miserably) to hold in his laughter; he'd been mean enough to his lovestruck master. He winked at Akeno, while wrapping his arm around Rias's shoulder who let out a blissful sigh.

"You guys are meeeeean," Rias whined, burrowing her head into Issei's chest.

"Aww, poor Rias. I don't think I'm being that mean, considering I'm letting you get all cushy with my man." Akeno's wry smirk told that she knew exactly what she was about to hear.

Rias narrowed her eyes and took to her feet, tapping her chin mockingly.. "There you go again: your man. I would love to know what brought you to that conclusion."

'Here they go again,' Issei thought. The Oppai Dragon leaned back in his chair and was met with the smiling face of Xenovia, who gave him a quick wink and a peck on the forehead.

"How do you put up with this crap?"

Issei smirked while blushing heavily. "You're part of this crap too, y'know."

Xenovia giggled. "Yeah but I don't fight for you. I just steal you, then stuff you in a closet and try to screw you," she said pervertedly.

Issei smiled. "At least I know what to expect when you're my [Knight]."

Xenovia's face darkened. "You'll never be safe. I'll be following you every moment of your life. You'll never escape the closet…"

"Do you understand what you just said there?"

Xenovia thought for a moment. "No? What did I say?"

Issei rubbed his eyes. "I'll tell you when your older."

-After School-

Our hero stood atop the school roof, looking down over the huddled masses leave their place of education. He saw Kiba being harassed by a group of starstruck girls, he grinned to himself. Digging around in his pocket, he found a marble.

'Fuck, how long has this been in here.'

Issei aimed the marble at Kiba's head, he threw it as hard as he could. After about a second or two, all Issei heard was a loud; "Ow! What the fuck!?"

Kiba looked around until he locked eyes with Issei, who was laughing his ass off. Kiba narrowed his eyes at his best friend, before laughing alongside him even if all the girls around him were giving Issei death stares that would make even Odin shit his pants.

"You'd think after all this time being surrounded by girls, you'd learn not to act like a douche in front of them," said a monotone voice from behind.

"Maybe," Issei replied, "or maybe I do just want some form of attention from them."

"You know you don't have to act like an ass to get attention, nyaa."

Issei smirked. "Come on Koneko-chan, the only reason you paid me any attention was because I was being a perv."

Koneko rubbed against Issei's arm. "That's a little far. We're teammates. It's not like I can ignore you nyaa."

Issei rubbed her head. "Are meowing just to be cute?"

"..Maybe.."

Issei smiled at her. Looking out over the courtyard, there she was. The raven hair, the absolutely beautiful legs, the perfect face, those radiant violet eyes and of course those two huge bouncing jubblies. Those radiant violet eyes… the black hair… the violet eyes… the sadistic smile… the violet eyes…

Damn she's so fucking hot! I'm not even saying that from a narcissistic point, I would tap that till I die!

"Can you not?" Issei said, clenching his fist.

Koneko looked at Issei with confusion on her face, "Not what? Are you okay, Issei-san?"

Can you fuck her again? Cause I wanna watch. I don't know how you thought The Red Haired Slut was the hottest for so long. That half-breed hoe is goddamn perfect.

"Call her that again and I'll fucking murder you."

Koneko looked mystified. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Oh touchy. I like that. Gonna be honest with ya here bud, if I knew what you were packing down there I would've kept you for myself.

"I'd have killed you first chance I got, you bitch."

Koneko punched Issei in the gut.

"Ow, what the fuck?!" Issei was unnerved by Koneko's angry face.

"You were muttering and swearing to yourself, idiot. Are you okay?"

Issei rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry, I need to find Akeno-chan."

Issei tried to walk away. "Tried", because there was a hand with a vice-grip on his wrist.

"Okay, two things. One; what the hell was that? Two: Akeno… chan?"

Issei sighed. "I'll explain later, okay? I promise."

Koneko gave him a rare smirk but didn't let him go. "You didn't answer my second question."

Issei laughed and rubbed his eyes. "She let me touch her, so now I call her 'chan'," he said, his face twisted into a perverted grin. Koneko rolled her eyes and gave him a quick punch to the gut, causing him to keel over. Muttering something about perverts, she walked away leaving Issei to clutch his tenderized abs.

When Issei recovered from the monstrously strong girl's punch, he 'walked' down the stairs from the roof to try and find the love of his life, or at least one of the many hell-beasts after his man-jewels. It surprised him that he still drew stares of disgust from most people in the school as he walked through the halls. It just irked him… well, maybe not as much as it used to. He had something that everyone in the school, both male and female, wanted: Akeno Himejima. His pride, joy and an outlet for his perversions. Of course, Akeno felt the exact same for him. Two peas in a pod, partners in crime.

[I don't recall having a host who adored their lover as much as you do]

Issei smiled to himself; he took pride in that.

"You look cute when your quiet."

Issei turned with the speed of a bullet.

Rias stood there with a big smile on her face. She held out her hand and cupped Issei's chin, licking her lips longingly. She couldn't contain her giddiness and before Issei could react, she grappled him in a hug and mashed his face in between her overly large breasts.

"Oh! I just wanna spoil you sooooo badly!" Rias squealed.

Even though he didn't really 'love' Rias like that, he had to admit, having his face cushioned by such soft, bountiful beef was heavenly. If he wasn't being suffocated by her supple skin then the biggest, most perverted grin would be seen on his face.

Rias dragged the poor boy by the hand all the way through the school grounds, having to go back for him a few times after he tried to escape. Issei wondered where all this affection had come from. Usually she was pretty chill in school, and in public in general. Of course he knew Akeno had a hand in it, probably convinced The Prez to 'show her love in public' to 'solidify her claim' or something like that. It made Issei kinda sad that he had to outright reject her if she asked him out. Knowing his master, however, she would wait for him and end up sorely disappointed… unless Akeno was feeling particularly horny. Which, if Issei was being honest, was a lot.

Mmm, goddamn is she hot! Fuck; if I knew these devil bitches were this hot before I killed you, I would probably have begged just to get a taste.

Issei ignored her.

Hate to ask ya but, can you revive me so I can screw you and these devil bitches.

'No, go away.'

Raynare blew raspberries at him.

Oh shit, I just got the hottest thought! You know about Multiverse theory right? There's definitely a universe were me, her and your bitch are all huge sluts together! Fuuuuck!

Issei clenched his free fist. She knew just what to say to get on his nerves. Everything.

Fuck, I am getting to you. Well, I'll give you some time alone in your own head. I'm off to masturbate to the thought of me and that half breed whore. Gonna wreck myself this time.

A moment passed: silence. Issei breathed a sigh of relief; the annoying voice in his head was gone, soon to return to haunt him again. He really had to do something about that. Issei hadn't realised that Rias had already reached the grounds of the old school building, a sight that Issei truly treasured recently. However, Rias didn't pull him inside. Oh no, she pulled him off to the side, behind the many trees surrounding the area. She had a rather pleasant plan for his lips and many areas on and around his face. She pushed him against one of the trees and stole a long, loving kiss from him. She pulled away rather suddenly and spoke, while continuously planting small kisses on his forehead.

"Are you okay, Ise? You've been acting so strange recently." Rias almost sobbed, like she was cuddling a lost puppy.

"I'm fine, Buchou, just been feeling a little crappy recently. It's nothing serious." He smiled that oh so innocent smile that made Rias' legs turn to jelly.

"And the spacing out? You're not saying that's part of the malaise, are you?"

"I'm just thinking when that happens." Which was semi-true.

"What about?"

"A lot of things, exams, the future… tits." Issei's face twisted into a perverted grin.

Rias rolled her eyes and pulled Issei into a great big bear hug, pressing his face in between her rotund mounds of flesh. Once again he was dragged off but this time it was actually to the clubroom, where his lady love was waiting for him along with the rest of the club. The Red Dragon broke away from his master's vice-grip and sat down on the sofa next to his beau who leaned her head against his shoulder. Rias took her seat at her desk, resting her head on in her hand. She flipped through some papers on her desk before giving Kiba, who was sitting on the sofa opposite Issei, a quick nod.

Her [Knight] approached the her desk and took a few pieces of paper, flicking through them quickly. He stepped to the side of his master's desk and waved goodbye to everyone as the magic circle teleported him to his client. The same was done for Koneko, Xenovia, Asia, Akeno, Rossweisse, and finally: Issei.

There was a new request tonight; someone who could listen, preferably an attractive male. So of course, Kiba seemed like the optimal candidate. However, he had a request tonight already so Issei had to take up the mantle of emotional sponge for whatever poor bastard needed someone to absorb their tears and problems. Issei appeared in a beautiful apartment, black curtains and purple walls with many pictures of a drop dead gorgeous black haired woman and what seemed to be her friends alongside some male companions. The woman appeared from the shadows, she had crimson eyes and walked with a sway in her hips that would make even the most experienced men and women's crotches light ablaze. Her figure was buxom, with gorgeous curves and bust that could only be held by a supernatural being. What attracted Issei even more were those legs: long, thick, and creamy in tone. She wore a black t-shirt and black, tight jeans. The woman was looking at him as she sashayed forward, biting her lip at the sight of the dragon in front of her. She inched closer and closer and closer and closer…

"Uaghh!" The woman screamed as she tripped over, landing on top of the poor Sekiryuutei. As she lay on top of Issei, she stared at him with an intense gaze that unnerved him greatly, a hunger that almost seemed disappointed.

"Hmm, I was expecting a better looking guy. Although, your scent is intoxicating so that's pretty good," she stated.

"That's nice. Mind getting off me?"

The woman jumped off Issei and landed in the armchair just behind her. She crossed her legs and rested her head in hand, gesturing with her left for Issei to sit in the chair opposite her. He sat down and eyed the woman. She had an aura about her that just screamed supernatural.

"So this is what the Marquis of Gremory sends me? Her favorite boy toy?"

Issei narrowed his eyes. "It's what you asked for. We were gonna send Kiba, but he was busy. So you get me."

"Okay fine! Let's play a game, little devil! So, can you guess who I am?" she asked giddily.

Issei assessed her: her eyes, her mannerisms, her (smoking hot) body, and her aura. "Fallen Angel?"

She smiled. "Well done! Now can you figure out who I am?"

"Okay. This apartment seems very expensive, so you're obviously pretty high up in Fallen Angel society. Are you a leader?" She nodded. "Well, by process of elimination, that would make you-"

"Congratulations! You win! I am, as you deduced, Penemue." She smiled at The Red Dragon.

"Not really a hard deduction, you didn't really make it difficult considering that there's a picture of you, Azazel, Shemhazai and Kokabiel over there." Issei pointed over to the lamp table next to her, where indeed there was photo of Penemue and her male companions.

"Ahhh, I remember that picture! Shame I never got into Shem's boxers before that." She sighed. "That's not why you're here though."

"Why am I here, then?"

"Well, uh…" She tapped her fingers together and looked down at the carpeting. "I kindasortamaybe need a friend…"

"A friend?" Issei repeated. "Why do you need a friend?"

"Well, I don't need a friend per se. What I actually need is a male friend who doesn't wanna get in my pants, cause female friends are too much drama."

Issei narrowed his eyes before smiling. "Okay then, what do you wanna talk about?"

Penemue grinned. "Okay! My name's Penemue! I like gothic stuff, video games, hardcore gangbang porn, western music and movies. My favorite video game is Persona 3, my favorite song is Waterfalls and my favorite movie is Dr. Strange!" Penemue said all that with a flare of fangirl enthusiasm that made Issei laugh. "Your turn!"

"My name's Issei. I like anime, video games, most kinds of porn, hard rock, western comics, tits and legs. My favorite video game is Persona 5, my favorite anime is Dragon Ball Z, my favorite song is Back in Black, my favorite kinda porn is anal and Paizuri and my favorite western comic character is Batman." Issei replied.

"Holy shit! You like Persona too?!"

Issei nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I love that shit soooo much! Although I haven't played P4, only one I haven't gotten around to..."

Penemue looked genuinely shocked. "What?! Oh hell no! Let me get my emulator, I am forcing you to play this shit!" And with that, Issei was held captive playing as much of Persona 4 as he could until his time was up.

-Later-

Issei was already mapping out and planning his playstyle, which Persona's to use and what weapons to specialize in. Issei wasn't surprised that he and Penemue hit it off due to their love for the franchise. They made a contract and Penemue allowed Issei to go home (they didn't really talk much). He had spent so long there that he actually had to walk home from her apartment in town. Not that he minded; it was a nice night after all. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He'd received a text from Penemue with an attachment.

'Wait, when did I give her my number?'

The text read, 'Hey! Had a whole lot of fun tonight, we should do it again and actually talk about stuff next time! Oh, that pic is a little tastier ;) Keep making me happy and I'll send you more, with less clothes each time~!'

Issei opened the attachment, his eyes feasted upon the beautiful picture sent to him from Penemue. Her t-shirt was via her mouth lifted to where he could just see her under-boob but nothing more, she was winking at the camera. Issei bit his lip as a large blush spread across his face and perverted grin twisted from his stoic mouth.

'Holy shit! Dude, I'm getting free nudes for being a friend! Akeno-chan is gonna wanna screw her, too. This is awesome! ...No… she wanted to be friends, not a fling for me and Akeno. I'll just say thanks I guess.' Issei kept walking as he texted his reply, thanking her for the picture and telling her that he would make her a priority contract.

After about ten minutes of walking, he came upon his colossal mansion. He still wasn't used to that one. Instead of a two story house, he now lived in a giant mansion courtesy of Sirzechs. He walked through the large double doors and was met with an empty entrance hall, Issei's first though was to go to his bedroom and die from tiredness. On the other hand, it was Akeno's turn to cook dinner tonight. He smiled to himself and practically skipped toward the kitchens, the door was half open and inside was Akeno cooking with a cute 'Kiss the Cook' apron on.

Issei snuck inside, making sure she didn't see him. He prowled behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest and kissing her neck. She let out a small yelp before grinding her behind against Issei's crotch.

"Can I kiss the cook?" Issei said with a low voice.

"I'll do you one better baby," Akeno broke away from Issei's grip, she searched around a drawer until he found a pen. She doodled on her apron for a few seconds.

"I think you get the message, darling." She turned to Issei, revealing she had crossed out the 'kiss' part of her apron. It now read: 'Fuck the Cook'.

"You know that you're gonna have to hide that now, right?"

Akeno nodded with perverted grin. "But when me and you are alone in this big, lonely house, I'll wear that apron naked and you can fuck me on the counter baby."

Issei shivered. His nose started to bleed heavily. "You're gonna kill me from blood loss." Akeno grinned. "When we live together, it's gonna get a whole lot worse!" she said sadistically. She groped his crotch. "Gonna mold you into a machine."

"You gonna share that machine?" Issei replied with smirk.

Akeno didn't take that comment well, not one bit. She cupped his groin harder and made him cry out in pain. She then laughed cutely and placed a quick peck on his lips, "I love you, you big pervert!"

Issei rubbed the back of his head and chuckled, "I love you too, ya crazy sadist."

Okay. Done. Please review, would absolutely LOVE constructive criticism. Thanks for reading, reviewing, whatever. Peace!