Inu Kaiba: I have no idea why, but the ideas of this fic highly amuse me. Enjoy the aftermath of my depression, which is summarized in this fic. PS I've never stolen anything that expensive before, and yes I know ink tags are usually on expensive clothing, (hell, this one store has the dresses chained to the walls, so only clerks can take them off the rack) but let's just pretend they forgot to for this dress, ok? Thank Mina for the whole dress thing, too… Anyways, enjoy my fic from the second round of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Fanfiction Contest, Season 4.
-x-x-x-
"Baku, are you sure about this? I mean, isn't this… a crime?" Yugi shivered, running his hands up and down their opposing forearms. Eventually he stopped, choosing to hug himself tightly.
Bakura meanwhile, frowned, deciding he didn't like his boyfriend hugging himself. He would much prefer to be the one hugging him. And so he descended, like an evil creature of some kind, replacing the shorter boy's arms with his own, and whispering into his ear. "Everything's going to be fine, little one. You're with me, an experienced thief."
"You're just a kleptomaniac," Yugi murmured, removing the five thousand year old thief's arms from around his body, and traipsing off into the store.
Bakura was left holding his arms out in a bit of a ridiculous position, which left a couple of people staring at him. His cheeks were bright red, even the tips of his ears, and if it were possible, steam would be spewing out of his ears. He glowered at the little child gawking at him, hissing for an added bonus, spittle flying from his mouth.
The little boy cowered behind his mother's leg, who returned Bakura's evil glare with a dirty look of her own.
Bakura meanwhile, let his arms return to his sides and followed the cute little tri-color haired boy into the expensive clothing store.
As he entered, he let his gaze sweep throughout the store, locating the cameras and gauging the blind spots. He then let his hands graze the clothing racks, where with his back turned, he picked up an expensive watch. Carefully, he made it look like he had put it back, when in reality, he had slipped the watch into his pocket, and put the case back beneath some other one's.
Score 1 for Bakura and his new free, five hundred dollar value watch. Score 0 for the fancy expensive clothing store which had lost a five hundred dollar watch, and the government, which had lost all the tax money they would earn on said watch.
While Bakura busied himself with his favourite obsession, Yugi was gazing at a rack of female clothing. The bright colours and shimmery shining fabrics intrigued him, and he reached out to touch a light blue silk dress with a full skirt, puffed sleeves, and a pattern of daisies. It sounded ridiculous, but at the same time looked so beautiful. It made him feel like he was lying in a field of them, with the sun on his face.
For some reason, he imagined Kaiba lying beside him, wearing the dress. He shook his head to relieve his thoughts. Bakura wandered over, coming up behind Yugi and squeezing his butt. Yugi turned bright red and spun around, and Bakura grabbed his arm, moving his face to whisper in Yugi's ear, turning slightly so he would be in the camera's blind spot.
"We'd better hurry… just in case they think something's up. I already…" He trailed off, lest the staff in the fancy store get suspicious. There were quite a few customers inside the store, as well as them, but two men beside a ladies' clothing rack did not look conspicuous, not at all.
"Do you like it?" Bakura asked, eyes darting towards Yugi's hand, which was self-consciously stroking the fabric of the dress. It was the only one of its kind remaining, marked down for clearance, but it had at one point been worth five hundred dollars.
"I can envision Kaiba in it," Yugi said, slapping his hand over his mouth as the last syllable left his mouth.
Bakura, a seething pool of jealousy, glowered at him. "Then we'll dress him in it when we take it home."
Yugi giggled inwardly. Bakura would forever be his jealous boyfriend, but it was one of the qualities he admired about him. Although some might be bothered by such possessiveness, he thrived on it.
"This's gonna be difficult, you've been stroking it quite a bit, and it's rather bulky… I can think of nothing more than…"
He grabbed the dress, ripping off the tag and tucking it under his jacket. "RUN!" He whispered, hissing the one syllable word beneath his breath.
The two jogged briskly out of the store, and it wasn't until they reached the exit that someone uttered a cry of "HEY!"
The two hightailed it to the exit of the actual mall, hiding behind a garbage dumpster, panting.
"You're –breath- an awful –breath- kleptomaniac," Yugi wheezed, clutching his side, and trying to regain his breath as quietly as possible in case they caught the pair.
"If I wasn't with you, I would have pulled it off much cleaner. You're lucky I decided to put wigs on before we left. With unnatural coloured hair like that, it would have been a bitch to ever come back to that store again. It's one of my favourite places to steal, you know," he said, lips twisting into a pout which was very unbecoming.
Yugi burst into laughter, sides heaving with the force of his laughs, tears pricking the corners of his eyes and trailing down his cheeks at the sight of Bakura pouting.
Bakura rolled his eyes and got on his feet, lowering a hand to help the younger boy to his feet. "It's not my fault you don't realize how sexy I am. But, if you don't like me, I can always find a better piece of a-"
"No way, Baku! You're incorrigible!" Yugi huffed, puffing his cheeks up like a chipmunk.
"NOW who looks ridiculous?" Bakura quizzed, and even though it was his turn to laugh, he didn't feel the urge.
Yugi said nothing, and Bakura, feeling bad, was reaching out to comfort him. However, the boy looked up, startling him, and he pulled his hands away, cheeks reddening ever so slightly. Yugi caught on, but said nothing. They were close enough by then that there was no need to even put into words these moments.
Bakura broke the silence first. "Let's go put this dress on a snotty CEO."
-x-x-x-
Yugi, like every thief's clumsy sidekick, stumbled over the cupboard upon leaving the room, and fell to the floor with a thump. Although they managed to escape the mansion much the same way they had entered, Yugi knew Bakura would have been very cross if they had been caught.
Kaiba, who had not been awakened by the entire process, but had been startled from sleep by the thump, sat upright almost immediately. He threw the covers off, and stumbled out into the hallway, only to find it deserted. Figuring he was hearing things, he decided to go back to bed, tired as hell from way too many late nights, delighting in his only night of rest this week. Just as he was about to climb back into bed, he caught his reflection in the mirror.
His scream could have woke the dead.
Bakura and Yugi, who were crouched in a bush outside the mansion burst into peals of laughter.
"WHAT THE HELL!!"