Chapter 1: 1X1: Levy's Request

This is CRACK. Complete and utterly senseless FLUFF CRACK.

Warning: It contains BL and Gay references but it's all in good fun and humour, but most importantly to help quell this growing BL fangirl in me. I blamed my friends and Fujoshi Kanajo for this.

There are no explict scenes in this story. But there are refs to it. So if you don't feel comfortable with Gay, I advise you to close this window. If you're still here, then read on at my first attempt to do a CRACK story about BL and fairy tail.

Keywords:
Fujoshi: female fans of manga and novels that feature romantic relationships between men
BL: Boy Love AKA GAY
uke: 受（the boy who is the 'girl' in the r/ship)
seme/top: 攻 (the boy who is the 'boy' in the r/ship) (well, duh.)
CRACK: completely implausible and/or bizarre r/ship, usually for a laugh
X: the denote a sexual r/ship between the two parties
S&M: Sadist & Masochist

Levy McGarden love books.

In her room in Fairy Hills, bookshelves reaching the ceiling were filled with every imaginable kind of books. However, there was a small shelf in an inconspicuous corner of her room where she kept her babies.

That was her dirty little secret.

The small shelf held less than fifteen books but they were as precious to her as the one ring was to Gollum.

Well-thumbed through, dog-eared pages, slightly crumpled and torn front covers but Levy loved them.

So you may wonder what sort of books that would be her dirty little secret.

Well…

It was any other day in the guild; Levy was sitting on a bench with her nose buried in the latest spell book. And just like every other day. Natsu and Gray would be fighting.

Levy looked up and watched with a keen eye at the ongoing verbal battle that would climaxed in Gray stripping and Natsu breathing fire.

And then she smirked.

And wondered why she never thought of that possibility before.

Ah…she could pictured it clearly now.

The stubborn fiery uke that refused to admit that he lusted for the cold-hearted male that ignited desires foreign to him.

Levy's smirk widened.

That story would make such a fine addition to her collection.

Yes, the small shelf in the inconspicuous corner of her room was for her BL novels( or comics). But then you see, Levy doesn't just read any BL novels (or comics).

She reads Fairy Tail BL.

And then you wonder who the hell would write (or draw) Fairy Tail BL…

Lucy sighed as she slumped face-forward at the bar, she could faintly hear Natsu and Gray arguing senselessly behind her. She groaned and wondered if this was her punishment for running away from home.

"Ne, Lucy. Rough day?" Mirajane smiled as she leaned from the opposite side of the bar.

Lucy groaned in response. "I need to get a job but those two idiots are engaged in a verbal battle so frequently that I think it'll be a matter of time before I'm evicted from my apartment."

Mirajane smiled sympathetically. "There, there Lucy. Have a drink, I'm sure things will work out in the end."

Lucy lifted her head and declined the drink Mirajane offered; it's too early in the day to get drunk.

"Lu-Chan!" A cheerful voice called as Lucy turned to see Levy who was wearing a wide and excited grin on her face.

"Hi Levy-Chan," she greeted back with a smile that faded when she realized that Levy's smile seemed a bit off.

"I got an idea for a story for you," she said happily, oblivious to the horror growing on the stellar mage's face.

"L-Levy-chan, it's ok. I got a lot of ideas floating in my head, so much ideas that I-"

"I want a Gray 'X' Natsu BL story," Levy carried on as though Lucy wasn't babbling on and on about her endless muse.

Lucy felt herself twitched.

"Y-You want me t-to, Na-Na-tsu and dear god,"

And she promptly slumped face-forward again on the bar. She could stand writing Jet and Droy. She could stand writing about the bizzare love between Alzack and Elfman. But to write about Natsu and Gray? Her teammates? She would never be able to work with them or even look them in the eyes again without the guilty conscience screaming in her subconscious that she made them have sex together.

Why! Why! Why do these things keep happening to me! Lucy wailed in her mind.

"Lu-chan? Lu-chan?" Levy called as she poked the blonde on her arm.

"You promised me to write stories for me…"

"I did no such thing! I was blackmailed into it! And it wasn't even my book!" Lucy cried out in despair.

"Ah Lucy, we are all grown women, we have needs and sometimes it takes something a little different to satisfy those needs, but if you don't I might have to accidentally slip your secret that…"

"OK! OK! I'll write it!" Lucy said hastily as she glanced around nervously.

Levy smiled widened. "You're the best Lu-Chan! I know that a lot would expect Natsu to top but I want to read Natsu as uke. You could write something along the lines of his passion being ignited by Gray's constant stripping! And Oo! Put in the reason that Gray's constant need to shed clothes as sexual repression satisfy only by the feel of Natsu's body rubbing all over-"

"LEVY! I get it! Spare me the details!" Lucy cried, covering her ears. She was on the verge of tears at being coerced into writing something so…so…deviant.

Levy smiled sweetly. And Lucy felt wary, such a twisted little soul inside something so adorable and innocent.

Maybe that's why Gajeel is so attracted to her.

What an S&M couple.

One taking pleasure in torturing physically, the other prefers using psychological torture.

She wondered for a brief moment who would be the dominant one in bed.

And then she was picturing her best friend having sex with her guild mate while she was sitting next to her. She turned red.

And when she realized she just thought of them as S&M. She was horrified.

Then when she realized that the phrase 'S&M' actually crossed her mind. Lucy wanted to weep.

"I don't think I ever read Natsu as a seme before, it will be refreshing to see Natsu in reversed role for a change. But then, Natsu and Gray pairing has always been one of more popular ones," Mirajane said thoughtfully.

Lucy stared at her. Did she just-

"Mirajane-san, don't tell me you read…" Lucy gulped unable to finish to the sentence.

Mirajane's eyes crinkled in a smile. "Well, being the bartender I tend to observe a lot and it was pure coincidence that I stumbled upon this hidden club about BL in Fairy Tail."

"Dear God, I'm surrounded by hormonal-crazy females who are in dire need of some testosterone in their sex lives," Lucy whispered to herself.

Both of her companions seemed oblivious to Lucy's words as Levy's eyes sparkled with excitemen at MiraJane's words. "Oooh Mirajane-san! I can't believe you actually ship Natsu and Gray! I must introduce you to this REALLY superb Natsu-Gray author then!"

Mirajane giggled. "I'm actually more LaxusMystogan fan," she confessed with a serene smile and then looking around before beckoning both girls closer. "Did you know that ever since Laxus was banished, Mystogan has been drinking rum a lot more and he doesn't drink at all."

Levy squealed like a lovestruck schoolgirl while Lucy was debating with herself whether twelve noon was too early to start drinking.

"Are you serious? This is BIG NEWS! I mean why would Mystogan drink unless he wanted to forget something! People don't just start drinking because they wanted to! NOO! There must be some sort of emotional trigger. Like…like LONGING or DESPAIR! Oh! Mirajane-san! This is HUGE! "Levy rushed out in full fangirl mode .

Lucy stared in disbelief. Missing rum equals to Mystogan drinking equals to Mystogan missing Laxus equals to Mystogan and Laxus together.

Wow…Maybe Levy and Mirajane should be the ones writing instead.

"Ne, Lu-chan! I changed my mind! I want a Laxus 'X' Mystogan drunken sex story!"

Well, how was it? Drop a review yeah?

Unfortunately, I'm not done. The BL fangirl in me seem to be growing rather than shrinking...

BL is like a pandora box. -fujoshi kanajo

I have never agreed with anything more than that in my life.