"Hey Tony!" A sly voice chirped, "How's that rash doing? Is it looking any less freakish yet?"
"Oh it's clearing up just fine! I'll be sure to return those ointments you lent me as soon as possible." Tony retorted flawlessly with a strong tone of challenge.
Smirking stubbornly, the ever hard-headed Ethel replied, "Well, at least when your skin clears you'll be one step closer to fitting in with the rest of society." She drawled.
"Fit in with society? Finally owning up to your unending desire to go out in public looking like you belong to this planet?" Tony bit right back.
From off to the side Bruce observed in clear concern for the pair. Turning to the other woman in the room, a friend of Ethel's named Analia that had tagged along, he finally spoke up.
"Why do they hate each other so much?" He asked quietly.
"Hm? Oh, they don't." Analia chuckled somewhat awkwardly.
Bruce gave her a bemused stare, "but they're saying all those terrible things to one another." He protested.
Analia just laughed, "that's how they...express their friendship?" She trailed off, "it's hard to explain, but I guess they just enjoy it. It's like their game...I think?"
"Are they always like this?"
"Yes?"
Bruce just shook his head, "I couldn't imagine hearing that kind of talk between friends all the time."
"I can," Analia chirped, "I was there when Tony mistook Ethel's car for one of the field targets! I've been here since the very first insult!"
Bruce stares at the somewhat too-cheerful woman, "Why is that a good thing?"
"I never said it was a good thing." Analia replied with a confused frown, "At least I don't think I did."
"You didn't, but you were so happy when you said-."
"That's not why I'm happy," Analia quickly intervened and gave a mischievous chuckle, "I just so happened to notice the blaster on the bench behind you."
"Maybe if your sad excuse for a goatee didn't make you look like an Asgardian reject I'd be able to stand you for more than an hour!" Ethel shouted loudly, causing Analia and Bruce to flinch with surprise.
"And they've built their friendship on these insults?" Bruce gawked.
"Insults, pranks, uncivilized acts of barbarian-level property damage?" Analia chuckles sheepishly, "Yeah, pretty much."
Bruce just shook his head, "That is the oddest-."
"It's actually pretty common," Analia interrupted, "I think the term for it is 'sarcastic soulmate'."
Bruce just shook his head and began muffling the shouts of his eccentric friend and his "sarcastic soulmate" with a nice shiny new pair of earbuds.