Hey, everyone! Um, let me warn you people, this is a romance story, but it's not fluffy, I-love-you-let's-get-married-and-live-happily-ever-after romance. It's angsty and realistic. Just a warning. If you are a fan of mushy gushy SasukexSakura fanfictions, turn away.
Disclaimer: People, I don't own Naruto. Isn't that obvious?
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The crisp autumn air blew softly, smelling sweetly of pine and flowers. The sweet melody of songbirds was carried along by the wind, the birds themselves flying along with it and flashing their bright feathers. The sun shone down through thick clouds, the clouds unusually white and full for an autumn day. Everything was calm and peaceful; the picture of happiness.
But that was all outside. Most people were also having an average, peaceful day, but Sakura Haruno was having anything but. The calm day was the polar opposite of her feelings at the moment. And what was the cause for her inner turmoil?
None other than her crush, Sasuke Uchiha.
Everyone knew about her crush; it wasn't as if she even tried to keep it a secret. But that was the problem. Everyone knew about it, and that included the prodigy himself. She expressed her feelings to him over and over, but he'd never done as much as smile at her, let alone show any interest in her. She'd tried to ignore it at first, but it was becoming quite obvious that he had no real interest in her.
But she didn't want to give up entirely. Maybe she hadn't expressed her feelings as well as she'd thought. Maybe Sasuke was just shy, or didn't know how to express his feelings for her as well. Maybe. There were so many maybes, but no definite answers.
And that left her where she was now; confused about her own feelings and Sasuke's. Yes, her own feelings. She didn't want to admit it, god she couldn't admit it, but she was seriously beginning to doubt this whole true love thing. She was only twelve, after all. Could she really love Sasuke as much as she thought she did?
She wanted to tell herself yes. Yes, she did love him that much. Yes, she would do anything for him, no matter the cost. Yes, she did believe in true love. But frankly, she wasn't sure. She just couldn't be sure. There were so many variables.
Like Ino. Everyone knew that Ino loved Sasuke just as much as Sakura did, and that meant competition. God, everyone knew that the two girls were rivals. And what was the rivalry about? Sasuke, of course. A competition over a boy; so common, yet so serious. Frankly, she couldn't just decide to give up. This was a few year long rivalry. It didn't work that way. That was quitting, and Sakura wasn't about to start becoming a quitter again.
So was her loving Sasuke part of a competition? She hated the thought, but she really had to wonder.
There was no doubting that she did in fact like Sasuke. She had a huge crush on him, and no one was going to deny that. But what she needed to know was if she loved him.
Those three words.
Those three words—I love you—were supposed to fill you with bliss and contentment. However, every time Sakura thought them, she wanted to burst out crying.
Maybe there was a difference between thinking them and speaking them. Maybe if she told Sasuke, things would be a little different. She couldn't ever remember outright telling him that she loved him.
But did she?
With a strangled cry she slammed her fist down hard on the wall, squeezing her watering eyes shut tightly and falling to her knees. Slowly, her body shaking slightly from her attempt at restraining the tears threatening to spill over her eyelids, she brought her head up, uncurling her fist.
"Come on, Sakura. Don't be like that," she scolded herself weakly, her voice quivering uneasily. Shakily, she pushed herself back into an upright position, sniffling and rubbing her jade eyes with the back of her hand.
As she pulled her hand away from her eyes, she found herself facing the mirror that hung on the wall in her bedroom. Sakura gazed into the reflective surface at herself daily, combing her hair and basically just making herself look the best so could. Every girl had the right to indulge herself in some way. Sakura just happened to pick fussing over herself in a mirror.
Normally, when she looked into the mirror, she saw a rather pretty young girl with bright jade green eyes, short, silky pink hair, and a smiling face. Now, she couldn't seem to see that. She could still see the same girl, but her once silky hair stood up in various directions, slightly knotted. She hadn't bothered to brush the night before, nor in the morning she had woken up, and seeing as she been rolling around restlessly in her bed for half the day, it didn't exactly look healthy.
Her eyes, of course, hadn't changed color, but they seemed duller to her now, and the whites of her eyes were red and glimmering with unshed tears. Faint dark lines were visible underneath each eyelid, the shadows like warnings. They weren't quite there yet, but their presence was there, and as threatening as the real thing.
But by far the most noticeable difference was her expression. No longer did she wear a bright smile, lips curled up wide and teeth shining. Her lips were pursed tightly, the corners down set in the beginning of a frown. Her whole appearance looked depressing, and it suited Sakura's mood at the moment.
And she absolutely loathed it.
Letting out something that sounded remotely like a wounded animal's cry, she curled her hand into a fist and brought it back, slamming it as hard as she could into the shimmering surface of the mirror.
The result was to be expected. She was a trained ninja, and the mirror nothing but a flimsy peace of glass. The instant her hard knuckles made contact with it, a crack formed in the glass, widening as she pressed down harder with the force of the punch. Within seconds, the whole mirror had shattered, sharp pieces flying in random directions.
As quickly as she had thrown the punch, Sakura pulled her hand his and shielded her face, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so. She heard the faint clatter as the mirror pieces fell to the ground, along with sharp stings where it sliced into her pale skin. It was a few moments before she relaxed her arms, lowering them down.
Large, reflective pieces of glass lay scattered randomly around her, small and large. She stared at them emotionlessly for a moment, before her jade eyes widened and she began to shiver. That shiver turned into a semi-violent shake, and she stumbled backwards and few steps, falling backwards onto her bed.
She became acutely aware of a throbbing, stinging pain in her right hand. She pulled it up, staring at it. Red lines streaked down her fingers, pooling at the tips before dropping down in small, slow drips, leaving dark red spots on her already red dress. She didn't notice, only stared blankly at her bleeding hand, a few small, glittering pieces of mirror stuck in it.
She was driving herself insane. What had she been thinking, punching a mirror? That wasn't her. Oh, why couldn't she just make up her mind? Did she love Sasuke or not?
She had no doubt in her mind that if she didn't find out soon, she'd go insane. Either that or she'd kill herself by punching another mirror or something worse. A small, bitter chuckle escaped her lips, and she pursed them tightly, her face going red.
What was wrong with her?
It took but a split second to make up her mind then. She had to figure this out. She just had to. And the only way she could do that would be to confront the Uchiha prodigy himself.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her speeding heart. It had suddenly become so hard to see him. She saw him nearly every day, so what made today any different? She made a face and pushed herself into a sitting position once more, placing her hands on her hips. She'd see him, and she'd tell him her feelings. She'd tell him straight out and end the turmoil inside of her. And what's more, she'd do it today.
With a swing of her legs, she hoped off her bed, feeling a little bit more energetic, though the feeling of dread hadn't entirely gone away.
Of course, there was the matter of her bleeding, glass infested hand to deal with as well. There were already blood droplets on her dress, and the shattered mirror on the floor would take some explaining. But she'd deal with that later. After she'd settled her little issue.
She turned and quickly walked out of her room, as eager to see Sasuke as she was apprehensive. She passed out of her doorway soundlessly, quietly closing the door behind her before rushing into the bathroom. She quickly rinsed her hand in cool water, hissing as the water ran over the thin slices in her hand, causing them to sting. The water ran red in the sink, and Sakura looked away. As many times as she dealt with blood, she still didn't like it.
Once all of the blood was dealt with, she began the tedious task of plucking microscopic glass shards from ultra-sensitive cuts. The first two pieces were semi-large, and therefore came out easily, if not painlessly. Her hand hadn't gotten too banged up, and there were only a few pieces of glass inside of her hand, but that was the problem. They were inside.
She did the best she could to pick out the tiny shards with her fingers, but in the end she didn't get them all out. She shrugged, decided not to worry about it. A few tiny pieces of mirror wouldn't kill her. She quickly grabbed a bandage—being a ninja, she had a few handy rolls lying around—and wrapped up her hand as quickly as she could.
Making sure there was no blood left on the sink, she exited the bathroom, quickly dashing out of her house. She was going to see Sasuke, and nothing was going to stop her now.
Except one thing; she didn't know where he was.
She sighed but shook her head, placing her hands on her hips again. She was going to find him and tell him her feelings, and nothing was going to stop her.
So she set forward in a random direction. She passed by many people; shopkeepers, children playing games, even fellow ninjas, some who she knew and some who she didn't. But no Sasuke. It was already a good few hours past noon, and the sun was getting rather low in the sky. It would start getting dark in an hour or so, and Sakura didn't think she could handle dealing with her do-I-love-him-or-not issues for another night.
With an agitated sigh, the pink-haired kunoichi plopped down on a bench, cupping her hands and resting her forehead on them. Where in gods name was he?
"Hey, Sakura!" she suddenly heard a masculine voice call out, and her head shot up eagerly. Unfortunately for her, her reflexes had worked a little bit more quickly than her brain, and she realized who the voice was a moment to late.
Naruto.
She sighed but offered up a small smile. The hyper blond kid wasn't all that bad, she had to admit, but she wasn't up for his annoying antics at the moment. On the other hand, he might know where Sasuke was...
"Hi, Sakura! Wow, you look terrible! What happened?" he asked in his normal tone, and Sakura felt herself twitch a little. Little brat... she thought irritably, but waved and smiled in actuality.
"Hehe, hi, Naruto! Um, yeah, I guess I haven't been having the best day," she replied with a nervous giggle, rubbing the back of her head with her hand self consciously, as well as hiding her bandaged hand that way. Naruto frowned, obviously noticing something odd in her tone, but passed it away as nothing.
"Sooo... Mind if I sit down?" he asked her conversationally, grinning from ear to ear. Sakura grimaced a little, but quickly replaced it with a smile and nodded. He sat down eagerly, though thankfully keeping a good distance between them.
"Well, actually, Naruto... I was wondering if maybe...you knew where Sasuke was?" she asked hesitantly, flashing him a sweet smile. Naruto's grin instantly dropped, replaced with an angry pout.
"Of course, Sasuke again! Why's it always Sasuke?" he grumbled, turning his head away from her and folding his arms. Sakura sighed. Naruto cold be so immature.
"Please, Naruto?" she asked again, batting her eyelids a little. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, not reacting.
"Please?" she asked again, leaning forward and placing her hand on his shoulder, bringing her face so close to his so that she was nearly whispering in his ear. "Naruto, it would mean so much to me..."
"Yeah, yeah, he's taking a walk over there," he grumbled, pointing lazily to his right before waving her off and turning away, but not before she saw the red flush to his cheeks. She did feel bad, using him like this, but she needed to talk to Sasuke.
"Thanks, Naruto," she said appreciatively, and she meant it. He nodded, and she stood up from the bench, her energy once more restored as she set off in an energetic jog off in the direction Naruto had pointed.
There were no other people on the path, most likely because it was starting to become dark. The sun was still up, but everything was bathed in a warm, orange glow now. The air still smelled sweetly of pines and flowers, and the songbirds still sang their merry melody, but the air held a sharp chill to it, making Sakura shiver and wrap her arms around herself tightly. She sincerely hoped she could find Sasuke soon.
She slowed down to a walk, her energy slowly seeping out of her, partly on account of the cold. What if she couldn't find Sasuke? Would it be like an omen? Did it mean to give up on him, that she really didn't feel anything more for him than a childhood crush? Oh, why was it so hard to tell?
But she couldn't give up; she just couldn't. She tightened her arms around herself, rubbing her arms, and trudged along once more, eyes scanning for any sign of life.
She was just about ready to give up when up ahead she saw a dark figure, walking slowly. The persons head was down, so it was impossible to tell who it was, but Sakura instantly felt like she knew. A wide grin erupted on her face and she exclaimed, "Sasuke!"
The person ahead of her glanced up, looking confused, and Sakura felt a wave of embarrassment and disappointed slam her when she saw that the person wasn't Sasuke at all. Her face flushing red, she ducked off to the side, scurrying to hide behind a clump of trees. As she did so, she bumped into something that didn't feel at all like a tree, and let out a soft "Oomph" as she hit it. She whirled around, joy lighting up in her face as she finally came face to face with the one and only Sasuke.
It took all of her will to restrain herself from hugging him at that very moment, and she stepped back, quickly apologizing for bumping into him. Sasuke only nodded, glancing behind her slightly longingly, as if he wanted something behind her. She hardly noticed.
"Oh, Sasuke, I've been searching everywhere for you! I was so afraid I wouldn't find you! I really need to talk to you, it's very important," she exclaimed in a rush, speaking quickly and eagerly. She'd be able to find out if she loved Sasuke after all, and better yet, if Sasuke loved her. She didn't know why, but somehow she felt that talking to him would explain everything.
"What is it?" he asked bluntly, leaning against a tree and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He seemed completely disinterested in her, and Sakura felt her small feeling of anxiety grow larger. She pushed it away.
"Sasuke, I..." she began, but found herself unable to continue. Like you? Love you? Do I? Should I say love? Should I...
"Well?" Sasuke interrupted her thoughts impatiently, glaring at her. That feeling of dread grew larger still, and Sakura suddenly knew she had, she just had, to say that she loved him.
"I love you!" she blurted out, the words tumbling out of her mouth so quickly she hardly had time to think about them. Those three words, those special three words that made your life. She wasn't even sure if they were true, but they felt so right to say.
She stared at Sasuke, suddenly needing his response, needing it even more than she had needed to say those three words. He would say those three words, andthen the two of them would be happy and full of bliss and joy.
His face didn't change. He didn't react at all, but Sakura didn't care. He had to say those three words. All he had to do was say three words and Sakura felt she would never feel sad again.
And he did. He spoke them clearly and simply, with no hesitation at all. And as he did, Sakura felt something inside of her die. She felt her heart get pierced with a thousand pieces of jagged mirror. He spoke three words, and in that moment Sakura knew that there were three words even more powerful than the ones she had spoken. Words powerful enough to destroy a person's soul.
"I hate you."
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Sooo. –coughs- Please don't kill me. ;-; I had no intention whatsoever of offending anyone. If you love the SasukexSakura pairing, great! I just...wanted to do something like this, and the two of them suited so well... You can critique and be upset; you have that right, but please don't hate me. T-T
Anyways, this is my longest fanfiction yet (pathetic, eh?) and once again, a one-shot. I like those. And I like angsty stuff. –shrugs- I'm not depressed in the least, I just like this sort of thing. Call me a freak if you wish. xD
I don't particularly like either Sakura nor Sasuke, let alone the pairing(no offense if you do like it!), and I never expected to write a story about them. o.o They just suited the part. Yeah... I also usually don't write romance, and probably will not write anything like this again. It was so weird for me. o.o
So, yeah. Review please. If you notice any grammar/spelling mistakes, or want anything clarified/fixed, please tell me! D I'd greatly appreciate it!