Author's note: This was cooked up in my little mind as a "what if?" situation. There really is no point to it. Rating is for suggestive content. Enjoy.
A scream broke through the silence of the hallway... no, scratch that, the entire HOUSE. Dante winced, his afternoon snooze in his favorite easy chair broken by his roommate's shrill cries.
The hell? he thought lazily, considering at first to make some smart-ass quip about her breaking a nail, but quickly thought better of it. She'd likely break them while breaking his arm. Or both.
"Something wrong?" he called, opening only one eye as the rattling of the windowpanes and loud stomping signaling that she was treading rather furiously down the stairs.
"SPARDA!" she yelled, a mix of confusion and worried fury on her face, a rather amusing combination in his mind, were it not for the panicked gleam in her eyes. With a sigh he sat up fully to acknowledge her, waiting patiently for the rant on the tip of her tongue.
"What the HELL did you do to me last night!?!" she demanded.
Hells, but he had to grin. "You want a summary or all the nice, juicy details, babe?" A strand of silver hair fell roguishly over one side of his face. That had been one HELL of a night. Hence, his much-needed nap. She'd pay for ruining that later. "Well?"
But Trish was in no mood at all for his teasing. "I'm... ugh..." she seemed disgusted and frazzled all the same, ready to rip her hair out. She ran a hand through it in frustration, glaring at him as best she could. Wait, were her eyes burning?!
"What, babe?" now he was just plain confused. Was she complaining? He thought she'd had fun. He knew he did.
"I'M STILL BLEEDING!" she roared, red in the face. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"
A pause.
A very long, pregnant pause.
"You're... still bleeding."
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!"
"...*snort*"
Blinkblink. Her anger seemed to fade drastically. "W-what?"
Dante, however, could not answer, as he nearly fell out of the chair laughing, throwing a cushion over his face in a failing attempt to stop.
"Goddamned half-breed, tell me what's GOING ON!"
"You... ahaha... *snicker* that... wasn't me, babe..."
"..." Her fury rose again, making her wonder what in the world was making her so damned moody.
A few seconds later, he was still grinning like the devil himself, shaking his head in complete amusement. "My my, but little Trish has grown up..."
"What the hell?!" Ok, now she was at her wits' end.
Reaching into his pocket, Dante flipped a coin at her. "Here's a quarter. Buy yourself a tampon." And with that, he stood, gave her a mockery of a bow, and strolled leisurely out of the room.
Another long silence.
"DANTE SPARDA!!! GET BACK HERE!!"