I have been soooo busy lately! Please forgive me! I was half asleep and this came to mind because of Nothing by The Script. Later on, iHeartRadio decided to torture me with Someday by Nickelback and I was nearly in tears when I wrote this entire thing. It's just depressing drabble, for the most part. It's really late so if most of it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry!
I felt dead as Ukitake and Kyoraku dragged me towards the bar down the street. "After a couple drinks, it'll be like she never existed." I was assured. They forced me into the seat and a drink was set in front of me. I growled and unwillingly sipped it. The night dragged on, my sips turned to gulps and I quickly understood she's was ingrained in my mind and was refusing to leave. I took another gulp and slid from the high stool. "Hitsugaya?" I glanced back at the two men still sitting at the bar. "If I'm fast enough, she'll change her mind and come back to me." I staggered towards the door cursing my intoxicated brain for not communicating with my brain. One thing was loud and clear over the muffled dimness; Karin Kurosaki. I knew if I got there in time, she'd change her mind. I felt a grip on my shoulder. "Karin." I uttered looking back. Juushiro sighed.
"No... She's in the world of the living. She has to move on." I heard his words, but their meaning didn't register. It was like he didn't speak. "I can change her mind." I growled, pulling away. Kyoraku was in front of me blocking me from running down the street. "M-move!" I protested loudly. "Didn't you hear me? If I hurry I can catch her!"
"Didn't you hear us, boy? She's gone! You can't catch something that isn't there!" Rage filled me. "NO! I NEED TO GET TO KARIN KUROSAKI! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER!" I Screamed. I ignored the stares of people staring on both sides of the street. At this point, I was too drunk and depressed to care. I knew if Karin saw me like this, she'd realize that I need her. "Ugh! Quit fighting us! Captain Hitsugaya! Calm down!" I hated the sound of my rank. She'd used it when she said goodbye. All I wanted was to hear her say 'Toshiro' like she did so many times before. But nothing reached my ears but the sound of my rank and my damned last name as my two comrades dragged me away from the bar and farther away from Karin. "WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" I shouted in frustration. Why wasn't anyone listening!? I struggled worse than before, determined to break free. A paralyzing kido was used to sedate me. I fell motionless to the ground. I struggled uselessly against the invisible bonds, knowing it was futile. It was pointless. I began to wonder if it was worth being alive anymore, though if I were alive, I'd be asleep in Karin's arms in the World of the Living. Quitting wasn't in my nature, but I felt it was my only option. Even death wouldn't bring me closer to her.
I let out a scream of grief and frustration. The torn up look in his eyes when I called him 'Captain Hitsugaya' haunted me every time my eyes closed. It's been three years since that mistake. I grabbed my phone off the kitchen table in my little apartment, knocking a glass of milk off the table and smashing the glass off the floor. I stared at it for a brief moment before whipping around and sending the phone through the mirror. Glass shattered into my face and across my arms. I spun and walked barefoot through the milk and broken pieces, ignoring the horrific pain that shredded through the soles of my feet. I grabbed my suitcase and slammed it onto the bed in the center of the agonizingly quiet room. I grabbed everything in my first three drawers and shoved it roughly into the suitcase, pulling the lid shut over it. I zipped it numbly and through tears, managed to pull boots on over my bloody feet. I ripped a black jacket off the hook by the door and pulled it over my bloody arms.
I needed to escape. I left the door to my apartment carelessly ajar as I made for my tiny car. I shoved my suitcase into the back seat and slammed the door, climbing into the front moments later. I hit the gas as the engine came to life. I refused to slow down as I cleared the first intersection, then the second. I almost decided to come to a stop at the third, seeing the light turn to yellow, but instead punched it the second before it turned red. I looked to my left and gasped as a coal truck flashed in my vision. The sound of crunching metal was the last thing I heard.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. I always wondered if that was true. I learned then it was. As glass and little chunks of coal flew by my face, memories glittered in their sparkling surface and time seemed to slow.
Toshiro, my mother, my brother, my sister, my father, the boys I used to play soccer with, the memories of of all the cuts and scrapes that eventually turned to scars, the laughing and carrying on at my high school graduation earlier that spring, my last Christmas with my family and Rukia who my brother proposed to that new year's eve, how much Valentine's Day hurt because that was the last time I saw Toshiro, my first meeting with him in this very intersection, his ridiculously white hair that I instantly fell in love with, the second meeting and watching the sunset together, the first time we played soccer and he'd been worried about my leg the entire time, the winter after that when he came back to play with me again, visiting Grandma Haru, our first kiss he'd almost chickened out of, his face the next summer when I showed up to the beach in a bikini that fit probably a bit too tight, that night when we watched the fireworks, the rest of that blissful night... The glass and coal sped back up as reality crashed down on me. I was dying, and I had no time to fix my stupidity. Everything went black.
I stepped onto earth in order to meet a giant commotion in a familiar intersection. I ran as fast as my gigai would allow me to. I swallowed the Soul Candy and stopped, letting the mod soul join the rest of the crowd. There was no way a wreck that caused this much noise wouldn't have fatalities. One soul started back the center of the street towards me. Her face was pale and her hair was as black as night. Grey-Blue eyes met mine with a slightly sorrowful look. I could tell just by looking at her that there was something she regretted.
"Kar-..." She pressed a hand to my lips.
"I'm sorry." She murmured. Before she had another opportunity to speak, I pulled her against me.
"I love you." I said, squeezing my eyes shut. Her slender arms wrapped around my back and she buried her face in my neck. I felt her lighten before she vanished completely. I swallowed, looking up at my gigai and the mod soul in it.
"She was the only fatality, sir." I nodded.
"Let's go home, then." He looked confused. I looked back over my shoulder at the replica of myself.
"Isn't there someone here you want to see, sir?" I small smile played on my lips.
"No. She's in Soul Society. She was the one who died." His eyes widened.
"I'm sorry, sir." I was already walking away. I could only hope she was somewhere easily find-able.
"Granny, I'm back. I bought jelly beans like you told me to." I yelled through the house, scratching the back of my head.
"Ah... Karin! There's someone I want you to meet! My grandson is visiting!" I raised an eyebrow but ventured to the back room. A short white haired man in a white and green hiyori stood there, arms crossed and sly smirk across his lips. I noted the danger in his eyes as he squared his shoulders.
"Ca-..." With one stride, he crossed the floor and covered my mouth with his hand. With the other, he pushed on my upper hip until I was pressed against the wall.
"Don't you EVER call me 'Captain Hitsugaya' again, Karin." He ordered. He leaned down and slowly ran his hand down my jaw and neck until it was resting on my collar bone. "Say my name." He whispered into my ear. I felt the blood creeping into my face. "Say it." He demanded again. Slowly, I turned my head until my lips brushed his ear.
"Toshiro..."
Not the ending I thought this story would have... But I like it. Let me know what you think!