Title: The Way We Get By
Author: Kayla
Pairing/Characters: Logan/Veronica, mentions of Lynn
Word Count: 796
Rating: PG-13, if that.
Summary: AU, the Kane's never existed but somehow Veronica still finds herself outcasted.
Spoilers/Warnings: Season one to be safe.
A/N: I planned this to be a one shot, but if requested otherwise, I'll make a WIP out of it.
Logan was never one to look at things and smile and nod. He was the one in your face, telling you where you went wrong in life. Honestly, that's why you hate him. But let's live in reality, hate was never what you felt for him. You hate how you made you re-exam everything. How every aspect of life has to have an answer. Most of all, you hated the weakness he caused you.
To everyone else, you're raw. You're Veronica Mars and you're rough around the edges. To everyone else, you're like that because you couldn't handle wearing pink skirts and smiling all the time like you used to. But Logan, Logan knows the real reasons. You hate the fact that Logan's the one who knows all you fragile spots.
You think you'd live in another reality, no matter the circumstances, as long as Logan wasn't in it. But you know that's not true. It doesn't matter anyway, because he's in this one. And he still knows all your secrets, all of your badly flawed elements.
But you suppose that's your fault. You were the one who let him see past the hard exterior and into the jagged heart. Of course then you didn't have a hard exterior and your heart wasn't jagged. And you've already forgiven yourself for letting him in because that was two years ago. That was when you wore pink a lot and smiled more. You know now that betrayal is evident. So you traded in your pink skirts for shorter leather ones. You swapped your smiles for sarcastic grins.
Logan was different then too. Two years ago, you think maybe he loved you. But he's changed too because he sold his soul. At least you think he did. He used to tell you that you were the only thing inside of it. And now you're sure his soul's gone because he hates you and you pretend to hate him.
You still think back on your fight. Even though it was two years ago. It's still fresh in your mind. You tell yourself you only think about Logan because you find it humorous that you ever associated yourself with him. But that's not true either, because damn your eyes. They always tend to leak water after you think about him.
Sometimes you think about his mom. The way her hair used to shine and how every time you went over to his house, she hugged you. No matter how hard you try to forget (or so you tell yourself) you'll always remember how his mother promised you were Logan's bride-to-be. You used to believe her…now you're lucky to go a day without him letting the air out of your tires.
Two years ago, you know Logan was your best friend. The memory still visits you. The night your world fell apart. You had thought everything was great but it wasn't because Lynn was dead and someone killed her and Logan wouldn't talk to you. You tried stopping by his house, cornering him at school, nothing worked. He'd mumble a reply you didn't understand and stalk away. A week later, you had finally worked out your speech and you were going to make him listen. But when you got there, he was drunk and damaged and four different kinds of bitter. He told you he hated you, and he laughed a cruel laugh. And then he cried. You tried to hold him but he pushed you away, saying you smelled like her. You reminded him of her. And she was dead.
The next day at school…you weren't even welcome at your own lunch table. 'Whore' was written on your car, and your pink skirt had your lunch all over it (courtesy of Dick Casablancas, one of Logan's cronies). You went home that night with insults sticking to your skin. No amount of soap cleansed you.
It took you a few weeks to realize, but you finally figured out your fairytale life was over. So you did what all good outcasts do…whatever the hell you wanted. You gave up your long locks for something short. You exchanged you sweet hellos for sour goodbyes and you vowed to run multiple background checks before you ever let another person see you vulnerable. But that was all two years ago. Now, well now you're a slightly snarkier senior who still pretends to hate Logan Echolls.