Chapter 1: Edward.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summery: 50+ ways to annoy the Cullens.
This one is so over done, so I'll add my own to the pool. I'm open to suggestions people.
8888888888StupidXShinnyXVolvoXOwner88888888888
1. Tell Edward you need a week long break from him.
2. Tell Edward you need a week long break from him, in Mexico.
3. To meet some of Jaspers old friends.
4. Tell Edward your joining the army.
5. Tell Edward you want a pet wolf.
6. Get him a cat, name it Eddy.
7. Cry and accuse him of eating it when it goes missing.
8. Pay people to think disgusting thoughts.
9. Pay said people with the money you stole from his underwear drawer.
10. Put week old milk in his piano.
11. Blame it on the cat, cry if anything happens to it.
12. Ram the stupid, shinny Volvo.
13. Replace all his CD's with rap ones.
14. Refuse to be dazzled.
15. Scream and run away from him. When he looks at you hurt explain that there is a spider on his shirt.
16. Bring Jacob Black over for a slumber party.
17. Get blood transfusions.
18. Tell him your pregnant.
19. It's Jake's.
20. It's Tyler's.
21. It's Mike's.
22. It's his.
23. You were drunk and don't remember who the father was.
24. Play with pointy things.
25. Around Jasper.
26. Whine about Alaska being to dreary, suggest somewhere sunny and warm.
27. Get a cold, claim its his fault.
28. When he sings your lullaby sigh, look bored and turn the other way.
29. Tell him your not really 'in' to music.
30. Tell him Mike has a crush on him.
31. Make Alice have a false vision of you getting hurt, laugh at him when he panics.
32. Act like nothing happened.
33. Tell him his car got totaled ... Bella was driving.
34. Make his piano 'disappear.'
35. Cut off Bella's hair.
36. Change Bella.
37. Draw smiley faces on all his underwear except the really embarrassing ones Esme got him.
38. Pants him in the middle of lunch.
39. Show him the video of Bella getting attacked by James.
40. Laugh at him in the part where he cries over Bella.
41. Release the Edward Cullen Fan Group on him.
42. Make a werewolf cologne, spray his clothes with it.
43. Spray Bella with it.
44. Fake Bella's death.
45. Book all planes to Italy.
46. Put mountain lions on the endangered species list.
47. Introduce poison ivy and thistles into the meadow.
48. Loosen the legs on Edward's bed.
49. Have everyone in the school dare him to eat his entire lunch.
50. Give him the 'Talk.'
I glared at my siblings and parents as I tacked the paper onto the fridge. Bella was turning a purple color as she tried to hold in the laughter. I still could not believe Alice had hired an actor to pretend to be Bella while Emmett cut her hair off.
"This is what you are to NEVER do again. is that clear Emmett?" Emmett's face split into a grin as he nodded. I glanced over at Bella who was now leaning against Alice for support. Alice was smiling from ear to ear, she was up to something.
Jasper and Carlisle had calm expressions but they were on the edge of grinning. I wanted to smash Carlisle's face in for pretending to change Bella.
"If you have any questions about our little conversation you can always talk to me Edward." Rosalie let out a snort as she held onto a struggling cat, it was trying vainly to scratch her.
Esme was in the kitchen refusing to speak to any of us, she had barricaded herself in there after I had gone on my rampage. She was in on it somehow, she had to be.
Its was time for a little pay back.
8888888888StupidXShinnyXVolvoXOwner88888888888
If you would like to add any to this just REVIEW, ok.
So, who's next?