Hello, lovely readers! I know this isn't Chapter 2 of my fic "360" that some of you were hoping for (don't worry, it's coming soon!), but it's another plot bunny that just wouldn't let go. I have far too many of them on my hands, so for anyone who wants to write a fic but doesn't have any ideas, I present to you this Adopt-A-Plot-Bunny fic! .:fanfare sounds:. If you would like to take this plot idea and run with it, feel free, just let me know. :3

As usual, I only own my weird ideas. Transformers, while arguably weird, are not my idea. Dammit.

--

"Sam, stop rubbing at your eyes."

"But they itch!" Sam complained, blinking furiously.

"Rubbing them isn't going to help, you know."

Sam heaved a sigh. Sometimes Bumblebee took the whole "guardian" thing a bit too far. "I know, but I can't help it," he grumbled.

"Hmm," Bumblebee said. "Maybe you should see Ratchet. We're almost to the base."

Sam suppressed a groan. Ratchet could be quite intimidating to his patients, although he really did have only the best intentions at heart. Sam did not much look forward to a full physical with him, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that if he had pinkeye or something, Ratchet would be able to tell.

The drive to the Autobots' base was a bit too short for Sam's liking, even though it consisted of a monotonous drive through triple-digit temperatures. Sam idly wondered why the government had decided that the middle of nowhere was a good place to put an air force base in the first place.

Ratchet was there to meet them at the entrance to a modified hangar. "Bumblebee tells me your eyes itch," he said to Sam by way of greeting as Sam stepped out of the aforementioned bot.

"Tattletale," Sam muttered to Bumblebee. Bumblebee gave him an innocent look, which Sam rolled his eyes at as he trooped off to the medbay behind Ratchet.

Sometimes Bumblebee really took the whole "guardian" thing too far, he reflected, absently rubbing at one eye.

"Any symptoms beyond itchy eyes?" Ratchet said, as Sam took a seat on a human-sized berth. Sam shook his head. "Sounds like allergies then," Ratchet said, kneeling down and activating the scanners in his specialized middle digit. It had amused Sam to no end when he first saw Ironhide getting a checkup—he'd thought the two bots were about to have a brawl. Cybertronians, however, did not have any particular cultural connotations assigned to the middle finger.

That still didn't stop Sam from thinking it was funny.

He tried not to blink as the scanner's bright light shone directly into his eyes. It was very difficult, especially since the light seemed to make his eyes even itchier. He was grateful when it withdrew.

Ratchet "hmm"ed thoughtfully, frowning at the scanner as though he had just noticed a nasty stain on it.

"I'll need to do that again," Ratchet sighed. "There seems to be a glitch in the scanner."

Sam groaned inwardly, but submitted to a repeat of the bright light treatment.

This time, however, Ratchet scanned over his whole body, instead of just his face. This made Sam uncomfortable; it usually meant there was something wrong with whoever was being scanned.

Ratchet continued to "hmm" and frown vaguely at Sam, as though he had said something borderline inappropriate, when the scan was done. Sam fidgeted.

"Uhh, Ratchet?" he said at last. "Is there something wrong? Do you know what's up with my eyes?"

He had almost given up hope of being answered when Ratchet finally spoke.

"Well, I know why your eyes are itchy," he said, "but I can't say I know 'what's up with' your eyes."

Sam gave him a blank stare.

"Your irises are the source of your itchiness," Ratchet said, choosing his words carefully. "Usually, they're small rings of muscle surrounding your pupils."

Sam nodded patiently, expecting more medical jargon, before realizing what Ratchet had said. "Wait, 'usually'?"

Ratchet nodded. "You are definitely not a usual case, Sam… your irises are… not composed of muscle."

"Then what are they composed of?" Sam asked, now thoroughly confused.

"…Cybertronian alloy."

--

Le gaspe, no? It makes for a good cliffhanger! .:evil laugh:. .:bricked:. XD

So basically the idea behind the fic is that residual Allspark energy is slowly turning Sam into a mech, in case you were confused by that. Beyond that, I don't know what happens... so again, if you'd like to pick up this plot bunny and run with it, feel free! Just let me know in a PM or something so I can see what wonderful weirdness I have spawned. X3