Confession to a Cactus
Sam looked up from her computer screen yet again and saw that her new cactus and her violets were still not getting along. She sighed, got up and moved her cactus over next to her computer. It was the weirdest thing. Two days ago Janet had given her the cactus. Sam was delighted and put it next to her violets in the lab. But for some reason the violets and her cactus had started growing in opposite directions away from each other. And Sam couldn't figure out why.
-Couldn't you guys just get along? I mean you're both part of the Kingdom Plantae. You both need water, soil, sunlight and Carbon dioxide to live. Can't you overlook our differences and focus on your commonalities?
Just then Sam heard a knock on the door. She looked up and saw Jack standing there grinning at her.
-I wonder, do they ever talk back?
Sam blushed when she realized Jack had heard her imploring her plants.
-What can I do for you, Colonel?
-I'm going fishing.
-Oh?
-Teal'c refuses to go with me. Jonas had a blast last time, but he's on Kelowna for some negotiations.
-And?
-And I want you to go with me.
Sam smiled.
-I'd love to, sir, but I was just working on a new book and....
-I thought you were just talking to your plants?
-Um, they momentarily distracted me from my work.
-Ach. You're sure then?
Sam nodded.
-I'm sure.
-Ok. Have fun writing your book...and good luck with your plants.
-Thanks. Catch me a big one.
-Can do.
With that he walked out and headed for the lift. Jack got in and pushed the button for the surface. Halfway up he paused the lift. Maybe he wouldn't go fishing after all. What was the point? It wasn't about fishing, it never had been.
After Jack left Sam went back to working on her book. This book sure was coming a lot slower than the last one. Of course for the last one she had the alien armband and was able to write a thousand page book in under 2 hours. It sure would be nice to have that armband back. Then she remembered the events that occurred after t he incident with the armband: the zatarc detectors, Martouf's death ...ok, maybe she didn't want the armband back. She sighed and looked over at her cactus. It seemed to be frowning at her.
-I know what you're thinking, cactus. You're thinking that if all I'm going to do is sit around and mope then I should have gone with Jack. Well, right now moping sounds pretty darn good. What about the book you ask? The book was just a ruse, not to lie to Jack but myself. I don't have any inspiration for writing right now, but even if I did I couldn't write because you're distracting me. So, I made up the whole book thing. I had to have a reason to not go with him besides the real one. What's the real reason you ask? Well, cactus, you're pretty observant, you've probably figured it out for yourself by now. I can't go fishing with Jack because I'm in love with him. Gosh, it felt good to say that out loud. Oh cactus, you're really starting to annoy me now. You think I should go fishing with him because I'm in love with him? You are rather naive for a cactus aren't you? Would you like me to explain? Ok.
Sam took a deep breath and calmed herself.
-I've been in love with Jack for what? 3 years, 4 years? Something like that. And over the 7 years I've known him Jack has asked me to go fishing many a time. And every time I've refused. I want to go fishing, really I do, but I know what will happen if I do. I mean think about it. The 2 of us alone, at his cabin with nothing but fish for company. That's a recipe for disaster. For the past 3 or 4 years I have struggled to separate my personal feelings for him from our work. At times it has been hard, impossible even. There are times when he looks at me, when he says something, that just melts my heart and I want to fall into his arms and never leave. I know that if I go fishing with him something will happen, something that will ruin our friendship and our working relationship. And as much as I love him, I don't want that to happen. I wish there was some way to change those stupid regs, but there's not. So, why get my hopes up and my heart racing by going fishing? It's better to leave well enough alone and just stay here and mope. Do you understand now, cactus? I love Jack, but it's just not meant to be.
With that she went back to her typing even though she had nothing to write about. There was nothing to write because it had all been said.
What Sam didn't realize was that someone had been standing there the entire time she was talking to her cactus. Tears silently trailed down his cheeks. Part of him wanted to go in, tell her he had heard everything and wrap his arms around her. But the other part said that Sam was right. She always was. He walked out into the hallway and headed once more for the lift. Maybe he would go fishing after all.