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Gilderoy Lockhart's Hogwarts Hullaballo
Introduction
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I sit here in my office, brilliantly decorated to encompass all the facets of my incredible style. Upon entering, you shall find yourself greeted with a neat row of pictures of yours truly, smiling at you graciously, an open invitation to sit back, have a spot of tea, and enjoy yourself. In my office you'll find several collections of my complete works, all autographed, not to mention several paintings depicting the more dramatic scenes from said titles. It is from here, my safe haven, that I can properly prepare myself for the daily task of educating the future of the wizarding world.
When Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, admittedly one of the greater wizards of this day and age, asked --nay, *begged* me to teach at Hogwarts, I said, 'Why, yes, of course, Dumbledore...but only if I can teach Defense Against The Dark Arts. I feel it is absolute imperative that the youth of today learn how to properly defend themselves against all sorts of evil. And much evil plagues the world. You should be honored to have me.'
'Yes, Gilderoy,' he said, and yes, I do let him call me Gilderoy, the man thinks of me as the son he never had, you understand, 'I think you would be the very best for the job. Provided, of course, that you're not secretly housing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named under your robes.'
'Ah, Dumbledore, you cad,' I laughed. 'These robes are part of Yvonne Ogden's Worldly Wizard line. I don't even let them touch my socks in my suitcase, much less the Dark Lord.'
'Gilderoy, your lively charm and your impeccable fashion sense will lend a much-needed element to Hogwarts.'
And it was then that we sealed the deal, and I began my illustrious career as a member of the esteemed teaching staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
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Author's note and standard disclaimer:
Normally the disclaimer would go at the top, but I don't want to interrupt the flow of the story.
I don't own Gilderoy Lockhart, Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, or anything else I may have mentioned or will mention throughout the course of this. If you honestly believe that I do, then by all means, you're absolutely crazy, but hey, I'll take your money. It's not like I can't use it.
I've never written an HP fic before. In the depths of my heart, I found it to be disloyal to J.K. Rowling and her fantastic universe, a sad sack like me trying to reach her level. But this idea occurred to me late one night, and I couldn't let it go. ...What if Gilderoy had been writing a book discussing his time at Hogwarts?
Now, naturally, this "book" will never be finished, seeing as how he loses his memory in the Chamber and whathaveyou. But it should still be a fun adventure for me to embark on.
I hope that I'm getting the essence of Lockhart right. God only knows I've read HPCoS a billion times, so I think I'm spot-on, but you'll be the judge of that.
Gilderoy Lockhart's Hogwarts Hullaballo
Introduction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sit here in my office, brilliantly decorated to encompass all the facets of my incredible style. Upon entering, you shall find yourself greeted with a neat row of pictures of yours truly, smiling at you graciously, an open invitation to sit back, have a spot of tea, and enjoy yourself. In my office you'll find several collections of my complete works, all autographed, not to mention several paintings depicting the more dramatic scenes from said titles. It is from here, my safe haven, that I can properly prepare myself for the daily task of educating the future of the wizarding world.
When Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, admittedly one of the greater wizards of this day and age, asked --nay, *begged* me to teach at Hogwarts, I said, 'Why, yes, of course, Dumbledore...but only if I can teach Defense Against The Dark Arts. I feel it is absolute imperative that the youth of today learn how to properly defend themselves against all sorts of evil. And much evil plagues the world. You should be honored to have me.'
'Yes, Gilderoy,' he said, and yes, I do let him call me Gilderoy, the man thinks of me as the son he never had, you understand, 'I think you would be the very best for the job. Provided, of course, that you're not secretly housing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named under your robes.'
'Ah, Dumbledore, you cad,' I laughed. 'These robes are part of Yvonne Ogden's Worldly Wizard line. I don't even let them touch my socks in my suitcase, much less the Dark Lord.'
'Gilderoy, your lively charm and your impeccable fashion sense will lend a much-needed element to Hogwarts.'
And it was then that we sealed the deal, and I began my illustrious career as a member of the esteemed teaching staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's note and standard disclaimer:
Normally the disclaimer would go at the top, but I don't want to interrupt the flow of the story.
I don't own Gilderoy Lockhart, Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, or anything else I may have mentioned or will mention throughout the course of this. If you honestly believe that I do, then by all means, you're absolutely crazy, but hey, I'll take your money. It's not like I can't use it.
I've never written an HP fic before. In the depths of my heart, I found it to be disloyal to J.K. Rowling and her fantastic universe, a sad sack like me trying to reach her level. But this idea occurred to me late one night, and I couldn't let it go. ...What if Gilderoy had been writing a book discussing his time at Hogwarts?
Now, naturally, this "book" will never be finished, seeing as how he loses his memory in the Chamber and whathaveyou. But it should still be a fun adventure for me to embark on.
I hope that I'm getting the essence of Lockhart right. God only knows I've read HPCoS a billion times, so I think I'm spot-on, but you'll be the judge of that.