***Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters,
J.K. Rowling does and Eminem owns himself and his songs, M&M's are owned by
whoeva owns them***
Oh, Crap!
"Shut up, dammit! I'm trying to sleep!" yelled Draco to Crabbe
who was singing to himself in the shower. He muttered to himself "Wow, Crabbe can actually sing! Maybe I should steal his talent and go into
show biz". Then he fell asleep.
"Get your fat lard butt
up! It's time for class! Hey, why are
you sleeping on the toilet, Malfoy?" said Snape harshly.
"Wha--? Oh, I musta dozed after that big par—I mean studying session we had, replied Draco. That must have been why I heard Crabbe sing so loudly in the shower, cuz I'm right outside it!"
"Well, get dressed and wash
up! You have my class first period
today! It would reflect badly if you
were late."
"Yes, I have potions first!
I can whip something up to steal Crabbe's talent", Draco thought to himself.
"All I need are ingredients."
Draco then picked up his specially ordered "Potions for Cruelty and Tricks" and looked through to find something he could use. Finally, he found the "Talent Stealer", a one time, non-reversible potion that steals a certain talent from someone. Draco ripped out the page and then ran to class.
"RING, RING!!!" Snape had
rung his bell signaling the start of class.
"Yikes! I was almost late!" thought Draco as he slid into his seat. He whirled around to see the cabinet Snape had in his room and see if he had the things that the potion needed. "Timbre Solution, check! Musiweed, check! Voice Tonic….yep! Ok, I'm all set to conquer the world, well at least the pop charts. Now how am I going to get those things outta the cabinet?"
Light then flashed throughout the room, a sign that Snape had been summoned to Dumbledore's office.
"Yes! I can take them while he's there!" yelped Draco to himself.
Snape then left the room and walked upstairs. Then, Draco put a "Lucky You" spell on everyone (a spell that makes you see what you want to, such as you won a pony) and grabbed the ingredients. Then he ran out of the room leaving everyone in dazed bliss.
Draco ran up to his room and pulled out his #2 Cauldron, an Acro5001 and put every thing into the pot. Then he chanted "Ius wantus Crabbeus'sus singingus talentus" and spun around in a circle 3 times humming. When it was over, he felt no change and when back down to class where he learned that everyone was still dazed. 'Releasus' and everyone was back to their normal state.
"Now why do I have the weirdest urge to go to a disco and party down," said Hermione. "Must have been those orange beans I ate."
Suddenly, Draco had an urge to cut his hair and make it platinum blond. He shrugged it off as "puberty". Then, the changes began. He started to call Hermione a "gay-ass" instead of a "mud-blood" and started unintentionally rapped about "humping dead animals" and such.
"What is going on here?" he asked himself. He ran back to Snape's cabinet and to his surprise, it was not Voice Tonic, it was……. Voicing Hate Tonic! He had made himself a rapping fool, destined to rap about hate! "Oh, crap! I wanted to sing, not to rap about drinking and sex! I wanted girls to croon over me but now I'm going to become some friggin weird-ass! I must not let anyone know what I have become! He reached over and knocked over a bowl of M&M's. Oh, wait! I can change my name! To what though? Hmm…M&M! but not like that how about Eminem? Yes, that's perfect! Now no one will know who I am. I must hide my identity!! I will change my voice and become American."
He ran out the door, ran into Neville who was trying to balance 15 books and ran out of Hogwarts. That was the last time anyone had ever seen Draco.
1 year later……
"Hey, Harry, connect us with the Music4U channel (a wizard's 'radio' station)!" said Hermione.
"K!" said Harry as he ran over to his wand and chanted "Music 4 me, music's good too, now hook me up with….Music4U!" The sound then blared loudly.
"And now a new song from all the way from America!…….
' May I have your attention please, may I
have your attention please, will the real Slim Shady please stand up, I repeat
will the real Slim Shady please stand up.....we're gonna have a problem
here.........'
"Cool
song! I wonder who that's by?" said Harry.
"That
was a new song by Eminem. Actually, he's
live on our phone! Eminem, talk to us here!" said the announcer.
"Hey
man. I just have one thing to say. Stay
in school, live life to the fullest and scare the hell out of Potter. Peace"
"He
knows who I am……AHHHHHH"
And the screams were heard throughout the
school.
THE END
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Now that was a pointless story wasn't it? Oh,
well. Please R/R LOL