His heart was beating so fast he could barely hear the words.
His angel was leaving, and this time he says it's for good.
After all these years, he was done. He couldn't keep helping them at the cost to himself and his family, so he was going back to Heaven to try to get things working properly up there, and didn't think he would be able to come back.
Sam was saying something now, but he didn't hear the words. He couldn't process the information, there was no way this was happening.
Taking a few steps forward, his hand lifts of it's own volition, reaching for the long beige overcoat that had been a symbol to him. A symbol of things always turning out right in the end. He had lost Cas before, a few times now, but to hear that this might be the last he would ever see of him was too much.
Those beautiful blue eyes turn to him, a question burning behind them, and Dean can only think of one answer to anything he could ever ask of him.
Pulling on the sleeve in his grip he yanks Cas to him, throwing him a little off balance, but catches him with both arms, pressing their chests together. His breath comes out in worried pants, his eyes searching the other for any sign that what he feels is wrong, and what he wants to do is unwanted.
Cas just gazes into his sad green eyes, not even trying to move from within his arms, after a moment sliding his own hands around the hunter's waist.
"Dean?" It's less questioning why he was holding him, more questioning what's next.
Dean says nothing, his eyes never leaving Cas's. There is so much Dean wants to say to him, so many things in his heart that he may never get the chance to say again, even in his prayers.
Time loses meaning, everything around them falls away as they stand together, arms around each other in silent conversation.
Dean shakes his head, the movement barely visible to anyone but his angel, his voice cracking with unshed tears, driven away by only his own will. "Cas...I..."
In the moment it takes for the words to leave his mouth, everything he has ever wanted to say runs through his mind 'Stay. Please don't leave me. I can't live without you. I love you.' But no words come out.
As if he could read his mind Cas winds his hand behind Dean's neck, pulling him down the few inches to connect their lips, gently, but insistant.
There is no hesitation now, no second thoughts, only the two of them, even if only for this moment, together.
Dean opens himself up to Cas's probing tongue, reciprocating with everything he is. So many years wanting, now to be so close to losing him was almost too much.
Soft moans fill the air as the two men embrace, each moment together becoming more heated. Hands slide under Dean's shirt, fumbling to get more contact as Dean all but climbs inside Cas's coat, not willing to let go of the man, the angel he'd lost too many times before.
Dean's shirt falls to the ground before an awkward throat clearing is heard. They turn to the sound, not breaking their holds on each other, staring wide eyed at Sam raising an eyebrow at them.
"You two need a minute there?" His arms cross in amusement and Dean coughs quietly, a furious blush rushing up his cheeks. "Uh, maybe?" he turns back to Cas, half smiling at the situation. "We need a minute in private, Cas?"
For a moment Cas says nothing, looking between the brothers in contemplation before a small smile spreads across his lips. "We may need more than one minute, Dean." He steps away from him, holding his hand out, indicating him to follow.
Sam laughs softly and shakes his head, turning toward the impala. "I'm goin out for some lunch. you guys have fun." Dean tosses him the keys and as he drives away Dean and Cas step silently into the motel, closing the door to anything in the world except each other.
Laying in each other's arms in Dean's bed, sated and gently smiling, Dean finally gets the courage to ask the question that's been hanging heavily in the air.
"Cas?" he asks quietly as he runs his fingers lazily through his angel's hair.
"Yes, Dean?" his eyes are closed, basking in the feel of the light touch.
"You still leaving?" He stops his movements, dreading what the answer my be. Cas is silent for a little too long, and fear begins to creep along Dean's spine. Finally Cas shifts so he's facing Dean, his expression open and honest.
"I don't think I ever could have, Dean. Not for good." The smile he gives erases all fear or doubt Dean held inside. Now that he had finally gotten where he wanted to be, everything finally felt like it could be ok. He pulls Cas close, kissing him with everything he felt for him, arms winding tightly around him.
The loud knock at the door stops them from going any further, and with a laugh Dean leans across the bed, picking up his boxers, and passing Cas his pants.
"You guys all good in there?" Sam knew better than to try to enter the room until he knew for sure he wouldn't get an eyeful of naked brother. Dean looks back to Cas, smile of pure happiness beaming across his face.
"Yea Sam. Yea. We're good."