A/N;
Haven't written anything Maximum Ride-related in ages. I haven't written anything in ages, actually. Lack of inspiration I guess.
This is for Bellables. Get well soon, twinny.
-Rain
Eight years.
Eight long years.
Almost nine, actually. Probably. He'd dared to ask Jeb how long it had been since the day he was taken for that experiment, and Jeb had told him he was six when it happened. Just a kid, and yet so old.
He was fourteen. Almost fifteen. Almost nine years. Nine long years.
It wasn't easy being blind. He made it look effortless, like not being able to see didn't handicap him at all. Like the surgery hadn't scarred him, like he didn't remember what it was like.
But he did remember. He remembered the pain; he remembered waking up with aching eyes, blinking behind his blindfold to try and reduce the agony. He remembered ripping off the blindfold and feeling blood trickle down his cheeks. He remembered Max's little gasp of shock, and hearing Fang slam his fist against the steel metal of his cage.
He remembered how they'd been hurt, too. How Max refused to speak for a week; how Fang broke his arm slamming himself against the bars. Even then, they felt each other's pain as intensely as if they'd been hurt themselves.
Max never spoke about it. Fang refused to mention it. Sure, they all made jokes about him, to his face and behind it, because he did too. He laughed, because if he didn't he would cry. He would never tell the Flock how much it bothered him, how much it pained him to be useless.
He would never let Max see how mad he was, how enraged, at being left behind that first time. It had been the first time they'd had a chance to prove themselves as survivors since being rescued from the School. The first time they'd really had to protect each other, and he'd been shoved at home like an invalid.
Of course, that had all worked out as well, but it didn't stop the hurt.
He was stuck at home like an invalid now, too. Max had gone out on another one of her 'hunts for Fang', and he was charged with minding the little ones. He shook his head, shoving his freezing hands in the pockets of his jacket. It was cold out.
Fang had disappeared. Fang had disappeared after he'd almost died. After he almost wasn't saved. Maybe if he'd been able to see, maybe somehow he could've been a better help. Maybe if he wasn't blind, he could've been more than just the babysitter. Fang and Max, even though they'd all grown up in the dog crates together, were the main fighting force of the team. He could've helped...
Now Fang was gone and Max was out looking for him, launching into hyper drive to try and outrun the pain of him leaving. She was an idiot sometimes.
"Iggy?"
He knew who it was before they even spoke. Dylan; the super-perfect new addition to the Flock. He didn't mind Dylan, not really, but he was jealous of him. Even though he couldn't fly properly, and he was the newbie, Dylan could still see. Dylan was useful.
Dylan wasn't just the babysitter.
"Yo." He intoned, nodding in what he hoped was Dylan's general direction. He heard the rustle of material as Dylan sat down on the balcony beside him.
"What are you doing out here?"
"Star-gazing."
"But-"
"I'm messing with you, Dylan." Dylan had a lot to learn about the Flock's shared sense of humour, too.
"Oh."
They sat in silence, and he began drumming his fingers on his legs. One, two, three... one-two-three-four. Still, the quiet continued. Finally, he cleared his throat.
"Everyone still alive in there?"
"Yeah. Nudge almost killed Gazzy because he spilt chocolate syrup on her favourite shirt. It may or may not have been on purpose... I couldn't tell." Dylan sounded nervous. His tone was higher than usual, like he was stressed. Usually when someone's voice got like that, something bad was about to go down.
Still, it was Dylan. He figured it was just the regular kind of nervousness, like being left alone with three genetically enhanced bird kids with a taste for violence. He grimaced.
"Sorry for throwing you to the sharks, Dyl'." He offered. He felt Dylan relax next to him. When he spoke again, his voice was a little more controlled. At least he wasn't uncomfortable anymore.
"That's okay. But, ah... are you okay? I mean, with all the-"
His fist tightened, cutting Dylan off. "We've dealt with shit like this before."
The higher-pitched voice was back. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just meant..."
"I'm not going to deck you for asking me a question, Dylan. I'm actually pretty nice for a blind guy." He smiled, but it felt more like another grimace.
"What would being blind have to do with you being a nice guy?" Dylan asked.
He laughed hollowly. "I was making a blind joke. You gotta make blind jokes, Dylan, or else you're not really a part of the Flock! Iggy's blind, let's all laugh at him! Har-har-har! Go on, Dyl'! Tell me what facial expression you're making right now, go on!"
"I'm... I'm just staring at you, Iggy." Dylan replied quietly.
"I sure hope I'm staring at you too, Dylan! 'Cos I can't see, you see? Har-har-har! Now you're really a part of the Flock. You've made fun of the blind kid. Congrats, man. Go find Max and she'll give you an official certificate."
"Iggy... I can see that what happened with Fang has upset you-"
"Even a blind person could see that, Dylan."
"-and I know that he's your brother-"
"I'm blind."
"-but you can't keep doing this to yourself-"
"I'm blind."
"-or to the kids in there! They need you, because Max and Fang aren't here right now-"
"I'm blind! I'm not deaf or stupid! But they don't need me, they need Max and Fang! Hell, even you'd be better! You can see!"
"Shut up, Iggy!" Dylan roared, leaping to his feet. He was too stunned to move. "Yes, you are blind! But who gives a crap? No one here cares that you're blind! I've seen you do a bunch of stuff that no other blind person can do, so shut up! I'm a goddamn clone, but I don't tell you to make jokes about it!"
Dylan's breathing was laboured. He slowly sat down again, unfurling his wings behind him. "I... I'm sorry."
"Almost nine years." He finally replied, "That's how long I've been blind for. Max has been making blind jokes for about four or five years. They all have. The only one who didn't, not really... was Fang." He sighed, gazing skyward. He felt the tears running down his cheeks, and was reminded of the horrible blood that had oozed out of his eyes after the surgery. He touched the tears to make sure they weren't red. "Fang taught me how to live without sight. He was so quiet; he kept telling me to catch him when he snuck up on me. I trained myself to listen for the slightest things... and it got easier. Now he's gone... and I have no one to listen for anymore."
He clenched his fist. Then, he felt Dylan tap it twice. "I've seen Max do that," he explained, "it calms you down."
He coughed out a laugh, "Yeah. It lets me know she's still there. That they're all still there."
"I haven't been around all that long, Iggy. I'm eight months old. Just a clone of the real Dylan, who died. Everyone had a lot of high expectations for me. I'm not gonna lie; I do love Max. That part of me is glad Fang's gone. But... I stopped being Gunther-Hagen's puppet when I met you guys, and I'm sad that you guys are sad. It isn't fair that this happened."
"No," he echoed, "it isn't.
"But you need to get back inside. Blind or not, those kids need you. They don't need some new guy with no idea what he's doing. I don't know them, not really. You do. You're their big brother. And you need to be there for them, 'cos chances are that they're as upset as you." Dylan patted him on the shoulder, before getting to his feet.
He took a deep breath, closing his sightless eyes. "You're right. Thanks, Dylan. But... just so we're clear, this conversation never happened. Okay?"
"Alright. Sorry again for exploding at you like that."
"It's okay. I needed it." He replied. Dylan went inside, but he paused just before following. The faint sound of beating wings reached him, and for a moment he thought it was Fang. But no, the beats were too fast. It was Max, returning home from her search. He could hear her quiet sobs, and feel her sorrow.
Even now, they felt each other's pain as acutely as if it were their own.
She didn't say a word if she saw him waiting for her. After a few minutes of straining his ears, he heard her bedroom door click shut. Obviously the search had gone badly. Max was an idiot sometimes. Fang didn't want to be found, even though Max needed him desperately. Fang needed Max, too, but he'd been strong enough to leave her.
"Angel! Max said no mind-controlling!" Gazzy complained loudly from the living room, "Give me back the remote!"
Iggy needed Max. Iggy needed Fang.
But the kids...
They needed Iggy. Their blind babysitter.