First

If you asked yourself if you died right now, would you die happy, how would you answer that? Would you say, yes, I could die happy right now because my life is perfect? Would you say, wait! I didn't get everything I wanted? Would you say, no, I wanted to change the world first? Would you be able to die happy now?

My answer should have been the former. Yes, I was completely content with how my life panned out! I was, after all, the Champion of Johto and Kanto. Shouldn't I have been happy with everything I achieved? Champion of Johto and Kanto, nemesis of Team Rocket, aide of two famous Pokémon Professors, the Chosen One of the Legendary Pokémon, new Gym Leader of Mahogany Town (after my predecessor so suddenly retired)… People recognized me on the streets, randomly coming up to see if I was really Kotone, that girl who beat Wataru and Red.

And I was.

So, why was I so miserable? Why did I wake up every morning hoping that one boy, whom I knew would never come, would come to my Gym just to battle me?

I waited each day in my Gym, fighting anyone brave enough to challenge me (and not many were—it was uncanny to have a Gym Leader stronger than the Elite Four of Indigo Plateau). Each defeat gave me a sense of pleasure, providing me with a hope that he would come to challenge the notorious Undefeatable Gym Leader of Mahogany Gym. But I ended all of my battles with a victory, winning all of my battles with ease.

At least if he was here, I would have to try.

I tried not to be so arrogant about it. After all, humility was an important characteristic of a Gym Leader; I was a leader, after all. My job was to give advice, help my opponents beat me. But no one had even come close to beating me, and all of the advice and humility I threw out to my challengers did nothing.

So, how could I not be a little arrogant? I wanted a challenge. More specifically, I wanted to challenge him.

"Leader Kotone, someone is here to see you!" One of the members of my Gym hurried toward me, looking unusually excited. "He is extraordinarily talented! He says he isn't here to challenge you, and he just wants to talk. But he looks like he could give you a real thrill in battle!"

A flash of red traveled across the room, and my heartbeat sped up. Could it be—was he finally here?

But as the red came closer and closer, it grew taller and taller instead of longer and longer. This was not who I was expecting. While definitely not a disappointment to see, as I knew this man very well and enjoyed seeing him, I couldn't help but feel a certain bitterness. Why would Wataru come see me, when he saw me every so often, anyways, during my routine visits to Indigo Plateau? Yet, he never once came to see me, and I never saw him anymore.

"Hey, Champ! Or, should I say, Leader Kotone of Mahogany Gym!" I stood up from my chair and walked over to meet Wataru halfway, smiling at him despite my bitter mood. I had to admit, this was funny; usually, I was the one walking into the arena for a challenge. Today, even though he wasn't looking for a challenge, it was still the other way around.

"Hello, Wataru. What brings you out here?"

He glanced around the Gym, looking with awe at the décor and arrangement I had selected. Since I didn't have a specific type in mind when I took over the Gym, I chose a very universal arrangement, picking elements from all types of Pokémon to decorate with.

Then, staring back at me, he smiled. "I haven't had a chance to stop by your Gym, yet. I always like to see the Gym Leaders in action. Well, of course, I've already had the opportunity to see your skills, but… I figured I would stop by, anyway." Pausing, he turned to look at the emblem above my seat. "May I assume that no one has defeated you, yet?"

"Yes. I'm still undefeated. No one has come even close."

"Interesting." His brown eyes met mine again. "You know, that boy… what's his name? Silver? You two made an excellent team that time in the Dragon's Den. I'm surprised he hasn't come. He had improved tremendously from my previous encounter with him. I imagine he would do relatively well up against you."

I nodded. "I imagine so."

Then, as if something clicked in my head, I had an idea. Silver used to train at the Dragon's Den all the time; perhaps he still did. Sure, years had passed since I last saw him, and he was sure to be significantly stronger, with no need to train in the Dragon's Den. But… maybe out of habit, or pure desire, he still went there. It was worth a shot at looking.

"Ah! Thank you, Wataru!" He appeared surprised, clearly not understanding what I was thanking him for. "I'm going to go to the Dragon's Den. Thank you for stopping by, and I apologize that no trainers came today to battle me… But I need to go. Stop by again whenever you want." I grabbed my bag from behind my chair and held a hand out to Wataru. "Sorry again for leaving so soon. You just gave me an idea, that's all."

Grasping and shaking my hand, he smiled. "I'll see you soon."

Though it had been several years since my last visit to Dragon's Den, it looked no different.

Other than the fact Silver wasn't there.

My Typhlosion lit the way for me, and as I surfed over to the dock on the other side of the cave, I didn't see that red haired boy with his Feraligatr or Crobat. I didn't see any trace that he had been here recently. I didn't see anything. Maybe my efforts in coming had been for naught. Who had I been kidding? Of course, Silver wouldn't be training here anymore. It had been years and years and years!

Still, a part of me hoped he was coming. I sat down on the wet wooden floor, keeping my Typhlosion beside me to keep me warm. But as hours passed, I felt even more miserable than I probably looked. It was nearing midnight, and he wasn't coming now. Maybe Silver came to the Den in the early morning… Ah, I could only hope.

"Typhlosion, thank you for keeping me warm. But you're looking a little wet from this moist cave air. Why don't you get in your Poké Ball?" My Pokémon, though trying to look like it would be fine, returned to my Ball.

Leaning against the railing behind me, I closed my eyes. Sleeping here for a few hours wouldn't be so horrible… Maybe Silver would come in the morning.

"Hey, Kotone!"

I jumped, surprised to hear the eager voice calling my name. Looking around Mt. Moon, I spotted Silver hurrying towards me, looking uncharacteristically chipper. Had that been my imagination, or had Silver actually sounded happy to see me? Did he actually look that way, too? Shaking my head, I walked towards him, meeting him halfway. Anything that I saw now, any sign of his wanting to see me, was all part of my mind. I was the one who wanted to see him.

"You're here in Kanto, too?" I tried not to look at him while he spoke, but I could not help but hear that eagerness in his voice. Perhaps he just wanted a battle; that was always what he wanted, wasn't it? To prove that he was stronger than I was, to show off his Pokémon? Though, since Wataru had lectured him, he had been trying, at least, to improve himself and his relationship with his Pokémon.

"Yes," I replied, wanting to add an 'obviously' to it. If I wasn't here in Kanto, then how was I talking to him? I decided to smile smugly instead, but he chose to ignore it, continuing on without comment on my audacity.

"Some of the Trainers here are tough, which makes it easy to train my Pokémon!" He paused, and I finally looked at him, seeing his unsure expression. "Kotone! I know that you are strong…" Another pause. I was taken aback by this; he had admitted it to my face? Perhaps he really was changing. "But… I can't help but challenge you!"

Of course. No surprise there. But the look on his face told me that he knew he was about to lose to me again. Even I knew he would. Sure, there had obviously been some change, but he wasn't cured enough to win. His Pokémon were probably still adapting to the change.

"Fine." I called my Typhlosion forward, and the battle began.

"I see. You weren't coming to Kanto just to show off…" Silver was on his last Pokémon, his hands shaking as he threw his final Poké Ball.

I shook my head. "No, I came here for the same reason you did: to train. And, in my very humble opinion, I think we're both looking great!"

He scoffed, choosing not to reply to my statement, and continued the battle. It was finished in a matter of minutes, and he recalled his last Pokémon to its ball, looking bothered. Walking towards me, he frowned, clipping his Poké Ball back onto his belt and crying out in annoyance.

"I guess it can't be helped…" he finally murmured after a moment of silence, looking down at the rocky floor of the cave. I had to admit, I felt bad for beating him; he appeared to be trying so hard but to no avail. I was the one person he couldn't beat. "My training's still not good enough…?" It was a rhetorical question, needing no input from me. "My Pokémon are so weak, it makes me frustrated… But I can feel that they are getting better after each battle…"

I smiled, wanting desperately to just throw my arms around him. I was just so proud of him!

"Tch! They're still too weak! I need to give them more training… I know! I should take them to Dragon's Den!" He pounded a fist against his open palm, looking more determined than I had seen him since I met him. He glanced up at me, his red eyes on my brown ones. A grin, or perhaps a smirk, formed on his face, and he began to walk away.

"Bye, Silver!" I called out, waving at him, though his back was turned to me.

But as I called his name, he turned around again, waving back at me, the grin becoming an actual smile. "See ya, Kotone!"

"Wake up, stupid! Come on, wake up!"

I woke to a violent shaking, hands gripping my arms so tightly that pain shot through my whole body. Someone was shouting right in my ear, apparently trying to wake me from my slumber. I wasn't sure shouting in my ear was the best way to go about that, nor did I think shaking me was… but it got the job done. Because I was definitely awake now.

"Wake up!"

I recognized that voice. I recognized it! Opening my eyes, I looked up at the red-haired boy leaning over me, and I felt my stomach flip. He came… he actually came!

"Silver!" I yelled, flinging my arms around his neck. He jumped back in surprise, and I fell into his chest, my arms still around his neck. I let go, backing away from him to give him air and to allow myself to get a better look at him. While definitely looking more mature, his general appearance was relatively the same, making him easy to recognize.

And the frown on his face made him even easier to recognize.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" he demanded, and I blinked, taken aback by his angry tone. "Were you sleeping in here? Why didn't you go to the Pokémon Center to get rest? You could have been attacked by a wild Pokémon in here. Not to mention, you could have caught a cold. It's really wet in here."

I opened my mouth to make an excuse but closed it when his eyes softened. "I was just coming in to train, and I saw you just lying on the ground. You looked…" He stopped, eyes turned towards the ground. "Anyway… find a better place to sleep next time, got it? Man, you're stupid."

"I'm sorry. I just was trying to find you, was all. And it was really late, so I just figured I would catch some sleep here instead of going all the way back to the Pokémon Center. I'm sorry to have worried you."

"Worried?" He looked up at me now, smirking. "Oh, I wasn't worried."

I smiled; this was just like him. He hadn't changed at all, really. But I had really missed him and his indifferent attitude. He was, after all, my first rival. He had given me my first battle, and while seemingly trivial to him, it was important to me. My first Pokémon against his. He was the first person I won against. The first person I wanted to see when I got to a new town (and, often times, the first person I actually did see when I entered a new town). The first person I really wanted to beat me.

The first person I had ever loved.

"I want to battle you," I said suddenly, and Silver appeared surprised by my demand. Usually, he was the person who wanted to battle me. He made no response, though, and dropped his gaze once again to the floor. "Hey, did you hear me, Silver? I want to battle you!"

"Kotone, why—"

"Come on, just send out a Pokémon. I'm battling you, and you better give it all you've got!" I sent out my first Pokémon, and after a moment passing without any movement from Silver, he finally sent one out.

And the battle commenced.

He had changed. He was far more powerful than he ever had been; all of that training he had been doing over the past several years had definitely helped him and his team. There was a new trust built between all of his Pokémon, but they were still nothing compared to me. I was still winning.

But this was far more of a challenge than I had seen since I opened my Gym.

Finally, he sent out his Feraligatr, wiping out all of my Pokémon. Except Typhlosion. My first Pokémon, the last of my Pokémon to be sent out against his last. He had the type-advantage, and I could see in Silver's fiery eyes that he wanted to win. Even I wanted him to win, but I wasn't going to let him.

"Hey, Silver!" I called. "Look, it's like our first battle! Can't you just picture my little Cyndaquil and your little Totodile?"

"Don't remind me." But a smirk appeared on his face, just like the first time. "Things will be different this time; I'm gonna win!"

I laughed. "I don't think so!" I sent Typhlosion forward, attacking his Feraligatr with all its might; the two were both tired after only a moment—both so powerful that their attacks had been taking the energy out of them at an astounding rate. Someone needed to finish this.

Typhlosion attacked before Feraligatr could stop it. And just like that, the battle ended, another victory on my side instead of Silver's. Recalling my tired Pokémon back to its ball, Silver followed suit, his face totally hidden from my view. I had no idea what thoughts were running through his head right now; was he angry that he lost again? Was he indifferent, again? Was he frustrated with me, with his Pokémon, with himself?

"I wanted you to win," we both said at the same time. Then, looking at each other, we walked closer.

"What are you talking about?" His expression was none of those that I had expected; instead of any negative emotions, he just looked confused. And I was just as confused as he was. How could he have wanted me to win? What kind of trainer was he? He wanted his Pokémon to lose? Then again, I wasn't one to talk.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, and he crossed his arms. I sighed, saving him from having to childishly say, "I asked first," and gave him my weak explanation. "Fine. I just wanted to you to beat me. I mean, I wasn't going to lose on purpose, obviously, but I really wanted to see how much you improved. I wanted to lose. No one has beaten me yet. I just opened a Gym, and I've been bored silly because no one even stands a chance…"

He held up a hand. "You opened a Gym? When?"

I shrugged. "A while ago. Pryce retired, so I took over. But I think people have been nervous about challenging me. So, I came to find you since you never came to me. You're the only one who gives me a real challenge. I've really missed seeing you around."

The corner of Silver's mouth twitched, and I wondered if he knew I noticed. "Yeah, well…" He stopped, eyes dropping once more to the floor. Why did he not want to look at me? "I wanted you to win because I wasn't ready for a battle. I've been working with my Pokémon for years now, but I wanted to battle you when I was ready to win. I didn't feel it today. That's why I haven't tried to find you. And if I had won this battle, I wouldn't have felt as good about the victory. So, I wanted to lose. I've been battling against everyone just to prepare myself for you."

"But you sounded so sure that you would win," I noted, and he shrugged.

"Nah, that was all for show. I mean, I didn't let you win, but I was actually pretty sure I would lose as soon as you pointed out that it was my Feraligatr against your Typhlosion."

"Just like our first battle. Only with stronger Pokémon." I giggled, noticing Silver's cheeks turning to match his hair as I did so. That was odd. "Hey, Silver, will you please come find me even before you're ready to battle? It's been so long since I've seen you… We don't have to battle every single time we meet, you know. We could just… you know, hang out. Like friends."

As much as it killed me to say that word, I had to. If I had to be only friends with him to ensure that I would see him again, then so be it. I needed to see him. I couldn't just wait five or ten more years until Silver was ready to battle me. I needed him now.

"Friends?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and turning his eyes back up to mine.

"Yeah, you know, those people that hang out because they like each other and want to spend time together? I kind of think we've been rivals long enough. If we can stand here and have a conversation like this, we aren't rivals anymore, anyway. We're definitely friends already. It doesn't necessarily have to be declared to happen, stupid!"

He smiled at this, and my stomach flipped again. Maybe I was better off waiting another five or ten years to see him again.

"But… I was sort of under the impression that you liked me a little more than that…"

My whole body just shut down, all of the blood draining out of my face, my heart stopping. Oh, great, he noticed. Now, he was just going to make fun of me, and I would definitely never want to see him again. Great, great, great.

Then, reaching a hand behind my neck, he pulled my head towards his, placing his lips on mine. He had given me another first: my first kiss.

And maybe I had given him something for the first time, too.

Something worth fighting for.

Author's Note: This is terribly written! I apologize for that! And the ending sucked. I had this whole epic tale formed in my brain, and as soon as I wrote it down, it turned out to be not so good or epic. But, it is what it is, and this is what I came up with. So… if you like it, great. If you don't, I completely understand. Though, I would still be sad. And why is this so darn long?

Though, considering it's my first (and maybe only) Pokémon fanfiction, I'm pretty okay with it. Actually, I kind of want to write this same story from Silver's point of view. He's mad awesome. And cute. God, I love SoulSilvershipping.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon! It's just fun to play!