The Shipping War
By Light-Eco-Sage
Rated: Teen for mention of sex.
Summary: A dumb little poem I thought of yesterday. A parody of "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" (AKA: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas) about the Avatard Shipping War. Ship-neutral.
Disclaimer: "Avatar: The Last Airbender" is owned by Byrke. "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" is owned by whoever wrote it.
LES: Ryhming was the hardest part of writing this poem. I suck at rhymes. But I still think it turned out reasonably well.
'Twas the night before the Finale, when all through the house
Not an Avatard was stirring, not even their spouse;
Their alarms were set for the Final Battle,
Their families would soon have enough of their prattle;
The shippers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of coupling danced in their heads;
Other Avatards slept, but some would not give in
The Shipping War continued, as it always had been.
These shippers, so dedicated to their couple,
They yelled to other shippers "They're an un-couple!"
They haunted the internet, flooded fan-sites
They uploaded millions and millions of bytes
And finally, the day came, the Finale!
Perhaps the show could mend the Shipper's valley.
But, no, it only seems to get so much worse
"No! How could Bryke do this?" some Shippers would curse
The show was over now, Kataang had won
But the Shipping War had only just begun
Kataangers had canon, and cuteness, and fluff
Said other shippers: "Not enough sex, too much puff"
Zutarians, the Kataanger's mortal foe,
Said "Katara sees Aang like she sees Momo!"
Zutarians had the internet, sex, and fans
Aang and Katara's break-up was part of their plans
They never feared the Kataanger's canon.
They said: "We see your canon, and raise you our fanon!"
So the fandom was divided in two
A war between Kataangers and Zutarians too
But if you think that is all, you're mistaken
Your knowledge of the fans will soon awaken
Other shippers, canon and fanon, also raise their gun
They can't let Kataang and Zutara have all the fun
Kataang, Sukka, and Maiko,
In canon, they take the taco
But shippers of fanon are strong
They know their ships cannot be wrong
For Yaoi fans, Zukaang takes the cake
Zuko hunted Aang for months, for Heaven's sake!
Another pairing with good following is Taang
Ever since Toph joined the Gang to teach Aang
Zuko has many other ships to his name
Zuko and Toph, Zuko and Song… the fans are to blame
Tokka is one of the most popular ships
Most other ships, their popularity eclipse
There are many more ships, the number's not small
But I don't have time to go over them all
For years the war has gone on
While non-shippers sit by and yawn
The war continues, with the news of the movie
Ship Warriors think that news is just groovy
So, once again the warriors take up their arms
This time their arguments will work like charms
So the fandom exclaims as their fanfics they write
Happy Shipping to all, and to all a good fight!
LES: Just a tiny explaination. The line "We see your canon, and raise you our fanon" is not meant to imply that fanon is automatically superior to canon. You should all know that I'm a Kataanger, so I do love canon. It's just a parody of when a Zutarian says "There are X many fanfics of Zutara and Y many fanfics of Kataang. X is larger than Y. Therefore, Zutara is better." That is it. I just liked the rhyme and the pocker reference better.