I want you to want me
Disclaimer: none of the recognized characters belong to me they belong to blue heelers and channel 7. Songs used from Avril levigne
Jo was sitting on top of Pj, holding his hands above his head kissing and biting at his neck he moaned and she looked up at him. With one move he flipped her so she was on her back and he was pinning her wrists down. Keeping one hand on her wrists he moved the other onto her chest, she shut her eyes as he replaced his hand with his mouth biting and licking, she gasped at his touch, feeling him moving inside her. The last thought she could remember was that she knew he didn't really care and that in the morning he would go back to pretending she wasn't there. The next morning Jo woke up and found Pj had already gone. "Typical" she got up and walked into the bathroom, showered and left. When she got to the station she realized no one lese was there but Pj, she walked in and saw him in the locker room. Her stomach churned at the though of last night and how she had allowed him to use her again, she couldn't help it she knew it was wrong, that he didn't really love her but she thought if she just let him have what he wanted she could kid herself into thinking he really did. He looked over at her as she entered. "Hi, I didn't wake you up when I left did I?" "No" "good" at that he left brushing past her as he walked out. She sighed and lightly banged her head on the wall. Eventually everyone else arrived and she could distract herself with work. Pj got called out on a case and took Evan, Suzie was out somewhere and Tom was in his office, leaving just Jo and Ben alone. She needed to talk to someone and she knew Ben well. "Can I ask you something" "Sure, fire away" "If you were doing something that you knew was bad for you but you couldn't stop, what would you do?" Ben walked over to her desk and sat down across from her. "Well it depends on what it is I'm doing" she looked at him for a minute trying to decide if she should just tell him everything, he already knew she was sleeping with him. "Ok well you know I'm sleeping with Pj right" "yeah" "well, I'm in love with him, and I told him" "you, what, what did he say?" "he told me he didn't love me" "Oh Jo I'm so sorry" "yeah well I mean I could get over that, probably but he still. . . God I don't know, this is just so screwed up" she dropped her head onto the desk and Ben got up and knelt down beside her "Jo, look at me" she picked her head up off the desk and looked at him. "I know right now things seem really bad but they will get better, they have to" "I don't know that they will, sometimes I think he's thinking of Maggie while he's having sex with me" tears started to fall from her eyes and Ben wiped them away. "Forget him Jo, tell him to get stuffed, you deserve better" she leant against him and he put his arms around her. "God why couldn't I have fallen for someone like you Ben, someone who wipes away my tears instead of causing them" Just then Pj and Jonsey walked in talking they stopped when they saw Jo and Ben, she pulled away from him and he let her go, she quickly turned her back on them and wiped her eyes, Jonsey walked towards her, "are you ok?" "yeah I'm fine, thanks" Pj walked into Toms office.
Later that night Ben is at the pub and Jo and Pj are at home alone, she's in the shower and Pj, hearing the water goes into the bathroom "hey" "Pj, we cant" "why not we're home alone, Ben wont be back for ages". As he talks he slowly takes off his cloths and walks towards her. She just stares at him pleading with herself to just tell him no, he steps into the shower, the steaming water hitting him, sliding his hand up her side he lets it rest on the side of her face, he moves closer to her their bodies touching, he kisses her deeply "I need you Jo" a single tear slides down her face but he doesn't notice because it mixes with the water. Once again she gives into him letting him do what he wants, after he's gone she leans back against the wall and cry's.
When Pj gets out he dries himself gets dressed and goes to the Imperial, he walks over to where Tom, Ben and Jonsey are sitting and orders a drink. Ben looks over at him "where's Jo?" "ah she stayed home didn't feel like coming out" "right, Pj can I have a word?" "ok" as the two walk away Tom asks Jonsey if he knows what's going on and Jonsey shakes his head. Ben goes into an empty room and Pj follows him. "Before you came here what did you do?" "what?" "where you with Jo?" "I don't see how that's got anything to do with you" "its got something to do with me Pj because I care about her" "and you think I don't" "no quite frankly I don't, because if you did you wouldn't treat her the way you do" "and how do I treat her exactly" "you know Pj you're my mate and everything but lately you've been acting like a real pig to her" "Ben what the hell are you talking about" "maybe you should go home and talk to Jo" he turns around and walks out leaving Pj dumb founded.
Back at the house Jo is feeling like she is going insane she cant handle this anymore, she starts getting angry at him for treating her like this, she pulls on a singlet and a pair of jeans and walks through the house she has to get out of there. It was pouring rain and as she opened the door and steps out she bumps straight into the one person she desperately didn't want to see. Pj grabbed her arms to stop her falling and she pushes him off her and runs, into the dark night she doesn't hear Pj coming after her, she doesn't notice that she is being soaked. She runs through the park where Pj finally catches up to her, he grabs her arm and spins her around to face him, "what is the matter with you" she stares at him for a second and then raises her right arm and slaps him hard across the face" for a minute he is to shocked to say anything he just looks at her. By now they are both drenched and breathing heavily from running neither of them are talking the only sound is the pounding of the rain. As Pj stares at her he sees how hurt she is he hates that he is the cause of it, and, finally he gets it. "Oh God Jo I'm so sorry", she's crying once again because of him, he moves forward but she moves away from him. "Pj, do you love me" he stood there for a second still looking at her, harder than he had ever looked at her before, "I don't know" "Will you ever love me, or is this just some game you want to keep playing" "Jo I never meant to hurt you, I didn't know that I was" "But you were, and you should have known" she was yelling at him and she didn't care she had to make him understand. "I know and I get that now, please give me a chance to prove it to you" "I don't know that I can" she said it so softly that he barely heard it, but for the first time he wanted to hold her, not so that he could get her into bed but so he could stop her from crying, to make her understand that he did need her that he did . . . what that he did love her? Did he love her? Is that why this was hurting him so much. She turned around and started to walk back in the direction of the house, he had to do something now or it would be to late "Jo, Jo wait!" she stopped but didn't turn around to look at him his eyes started to sting with tears, "please, don't leave me Jo, I do" "Do what?" "love you, I know it just sounds like another empty promise but I swear to God Jo, I don't know what I would do if you left me."