Because my love for this couple is borderline obsessive and all I want is some redemption for the characters and relationship in season 3. This is set after the season 2 finale. Not sure if I will keep this a one-shot or continue it.
Paige stood in front of the mirror staring back at her hollow reflection. Her fingers curled forcefully around the ledge of the sink. She hated that person in the mirror. She detested the version of Paige that she had become. Perspiration dripped down her temple and she wished instead that it was tears flowing down her face. But Paige had stopped crying a long time ago. The tears would not come, instead they were replaced by a body numbing deadness. After all this time she still could not come to grips with what she had done.
"P you ready?" she heard Johnny call from downstairs.
How could she be ready? It had been weeks since they had rescued Mike from the hospital and stashed him at a safe house to recover. Weeks. Everyone had been by except for her. She couldn't face him. Not after what she had tried to do. But she had to see him eventually and after several talks with Charlie she realized that she needed to confront her demons before she could be saved from them.
"Paige andale. Hurry your ass up." Johnny yelled again followed by a loud "Ouch. What the hell was that for?"
"Shh give her time." Charlie said quietly, but not quietly enough. She knew that they tip toed around her, waiting for her to explode at any time. Paige steeled herself, trying to calm her nervous jitters. Treat it like a mission she told herself. She inhaled sharply, before walking out of the room with purpose. Ready or not it was time to go.
"Okay guys let's do this."
Paige stood in the hallway, mere inches from his door. They hadn't told him that she was coming. She wanted it that way. Paige shakingly ran her hand through her hair and she braced herself for what was to come. She wasn't sure what to expect from him. She had played this scenario over and over in her mind, but had no idea how he would really react. With a quiet determination she walked to his door and leaned against the doorframe. It didn't take long for him to look up, their eyes meeting in an intense gaze. Mike didn't say a word, but stared at her with his blue eyes that felt like they were piercing her soul.
The silence was haunting. This was not one of the scenarios she had prepared herself for. She was ready for the anger, hatred, and disgust, but this was worse. Someone had to make a move. Paige propelled herself off the doorframe and walked steadily towards his bed. With every step she took, she could feel his eyes on her.
"Can I sit here?" she questioned, pointing to the edge of his bed. He nodded and she gingerly sat on the very corner of the bed. "How are you?" she whispered. He was still on oxygen and the line of the IV snaked across his bed. Her throat immediately tightened. She had done this to him.
Mike sighed. "Cut the crap." He replied. "You know how I am." He was right. Her roommates gave her daily updates on his progress.
They sat in a bout of silence. She couldn't even look at him, suddenly finding the pattern on his comforter very interesting.
"I was so angry at you." She choked out finally, her sorry excuse for an apology.
"I know." He whispered, his voice hoarse. "And you had every right to be."
"How could you lie to me like that?" she asked. "Me of all people Mike." She thought they had something special, but apparently she was wrong.
He shook his head "I'm not going to give you excuses. That's not what you came here to hear." At this point she was wondering why she was even here. It was obvious that whatever bond they used to share was irrevocably damaged. "But everything I did, I did for you. And look at where that got me." He said bitterly, motioning to the bed and IV in his hand.
She looked up at him, shocked at his bluntness and angry at his confession.
"Me?" she asked. "That's bullshit." She wanted to leave right then. She wanted to walk out of the room and say screw you. But something made her stay. "Everything you did, you did for your own self interest. It's always been about you."
Mike hung his head. "I was so lost Paige. So caught up in the case, that I forgot about everything else." A single tear ran down his cheek. "But believe me when I say that you were always in the back of my mind."
She was not expecting Mike to be so defeated. He didn't burst out at her in anger or order her out of his room. Instead, he just sat there looking hurt, confused, and broken.
"I hate you." She said truthfully. He paused for a moment and his body went rigid as if she had physically slapped him.
"I hate you too." He replied bitterly and she knew it was true.
In that moment she realized that they had both become the monsters they were fighting. The line between black and white had blurred so much, that she was willing to kill the one man that meant the most to her. How did they move past all the hurt that they inflicted upon each other?
"I'm sorry." She continued, her voice barely audible. She looked up at him with her doe eyes. She had almost killed him. She realized now that if he had died, she never would have forgiven herself. "I'm sorry things ended up like this."
Mike looked at her with pounds of sadness in his eyes. "Me too."
With all the strength she could muster, she reached over to rest her hand in his. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, but didn't move his hand. It was a start. They sat like that in silence for what seemed like eternity.
"You know you reek right?" she said finally breaking the silence
"Ya well I asked Johnny for a sponge bath, but for some reason he turned me down."
Paige gave him a tight lipped smile. In another version of this story she would be at his beck and call. She would make him laugh and sleep besides him at night, distracting him from the pain. Words could not describe how much she wanted that version. But in this story they sat in silence, barely tolerating each other's company. They had done this to each other. They had dug their own graves.
"I'm going to take off." She sighed. "Johnny and Charlie are in the car waiting." He squeezed her hand tightly for a second, as if begging her to stay before releasing it.
"Poor Charlie."
Paige flashed him another small smile, at a loss of what else to say. She got up, smoothing down her dress as she stood.
"I'm glad you're okay." Her words sounded were insufficient to cover all the hurt she had caused, but it had to be said. With a heavy heart she gave him one last smile before walking away. Walking away from the only man that lit her soul on fire, from all her dreams and desires.
Just as she was about to step through the doorframe, she heard his voice.
"Come back tomorrow?" he asked meekly, as if testing the waters between them. Paige paused, thrown off by his question. Her heart leaped into her chest at his offer, realizing that it was exactly what she wanted. She hated him, but the prospect of living life without him was even stronger then the bitterness in her heart. Maybe in time the anger would fade.
She turned around, catching a flicker of the hope in his eyes. "I'll be here."
In this version they were broken souls desperate to connect. They were so damaged that the prospect of the broken pieces ever coming together again seemed impossible. But maybe, just maybe they could help each other. As she walked towards the car, she felt the smallest glimmer of hope as she realized it wasn't the end of the story. It was just the beginning.