"You wanna piece of me?" snarled gripply, while pressing the knife to bripply's throat
"Is that a promise? Because, yes… I would LOVE a piece of you."
That was all the two UA instructors needed to hear. They ripped off their clothes, and proceeded to have the most intense knife sex of their lives, resulting in 14 consecutive climaxes, and their corresponding deaths. Examiners of the bodies were uncertain of the cause of death.
"Could 'ave been the dopamine on accoun' oftha orgasms…" said the commissioner.
"… Or coulda' been oll the knives thems stuffied up their butts. It's a mystery to us oll."
"Yo comishy, dawgg I'm feeling like it was the knives," shouted officer Blackmin, to thunderous cheers and laughter. The precinct was laughing with Blackmin, not at him. Officer Blackmin was the only African American in a police department made up of predominantly white millennials. Ergo, everyone wanted to be his friend.
"Now you's 'ilarious Blackmin! We should try ourselves some of tha' knife sex sometime, as friends n'such."
"Not only is dat a terrible and fatal idea, but I aint yo friend… B-Hole." The entire precinct irrupted once again. Men were keeled over onto the floors, their faces red with laughter. Tears rolled down their faces. One man even died from the joke, a detail no one would have noticed were it not for the commissioner. The commissioner was the only living organism in the precinct who did not appreciate the joke, as he was a man wof low self-esteem who did not take kindly to rejection.
It had taken him all of his courage to invite officer blackmin to knife sex, and thusly took even more from the commissioner to force back his tears. If a few more moments had passed by, the commissioner would have embarrassingly retreated into the seclusion of his office. The commissioner was readying himself to do just that when his eyes fell upon the motionless officer lying on the floor. "T'ank the stars," muttered the commissioner as he approached the carcass.
"Oll righ'! Tha's anough ou'a er'yone! A mans jus' died from the comediacy a' Blackmin's joke."
"Comediacy?" Shouted Blackmin. "More like, some nigga betta get dis man a dictionary, IMEDIACY!" His remarks were met with more laughter, enough to muffle that one guy trying to explain the grammatical errors of Blackmin's zinger. "That doesn't sound right either- "that guy was quickly introduced to a knee meeting his crotch as the knee's supplier gave him a look of "You're going to blow this for us, you fudge-face!" With this one glaring look, that guy clamped his mouth shut, and proceeded to fall to the ground with a feminine, high-pitched groan; achieved courtesy of this guy's now tenderized genitalia.
To be continued