This all started with a crush.
Crushes are dangerous. If you've ever had one, you'll understand the stupid things they will make you do. In my case, the things I did were, definitely, exceptionally, extremely stupid. But they were necessary. Life saving, life changing necessary.
I guess this whole mess starts with first year. I saw her at once. Her luscious hair falling past her flawless waist, her deep green eyes that you could stare into for hours… I was in love with Lily Potter.
I mean, how can you not be? She was top in every class, she was gorgeous, and could you hear her sing? It was a song from an angel. There was only one flaw with the flawless girl. She was friends with Sniveleus. Sniveleus Greasy.
I speak, of course, of Severus Snape. Or, as she called him, Sev. It was disgusting. Seeing the flawless girl being friends with a slimeball. Despicable. Horrid.
In retrospect, even though he was awful, it was partly my fault. I shouldn't have bullied him like that. But I was trying to save a beautiful girl from a slimeball. From that perspective, it sounds pretty reasonable.
This all starts in first year. We were all eleven years old, and as nervous as hell. We stuck with the ones we knew. I, unfortunately, had no older cousins that enjoyed my amazing company. I sat in an empty compartment, basically praying that someone would come and sit with me. I mean, someone had to sit with me, right? Because I'm adorable.
After about five minutes of tense worry, another first year opened the compartment.
"Hi, I'm Sirius. May I sit here? I can't seem to find another place to sit." He smiled a bright smile that almost blinded me.
"Yeah, sure. I'm James Potter, by the way." I replied. He sat down on the seat parallel to mine.
"Potter? I've heard of them, somewhere. Don't you have a really big family, big pureblood status?" He asked me.
"Yeah," I replied. "But I don't like those 'pureblood, halfblood, muggle-born' statuses. We're all witches and wizards, right?" I asked him, hoping he wasn't a pureblood brat.
"Wow, that's exactly what I was thinking! My mum made me memorize a ton of famous pureblood statuses. I don't really see the point of it. It's not like, right before I'm about to be murdered by You-Know-Who, he'll ask me about the blood status about a bunch of random wizards!"
Hmm… I thought silently, Sirius, the Dog Star…Not a nice mum… Not a nice family… Blood Status…
"Are you Sirius Black? I asked him.
"Oh, yeah. But I hate You-Know-Who, and the blood status, and all the things that purebloods should love."
"Wow, that's…different…" I was wondering whether this was an act or something.
"I'll understand if you don't trust me. I come from a very Dark family. But I don't want to be that way."
I was debating whether to trust him or not, when the compartment door opened up.
"Hello, I'm Remus Lupin. May I sit here? I can't seem to find a compartment that will let me sit with them. Something about the state of my robes."
His robes were something odd. They were scratched, dirty, and had quite a few holes. Despite this, we let him sit down. I don't judge someone by their looks, much less their robes. He sat down next to me, and began to look down as if he didn't belong. I knew this feeling, the feeling that my baby sister had. Refusing to let anyone not have confidence, I asked him a few questions.
"So, Remus, what's your opinion on the current state of Hogwarts? Do you think that we need more security, thanks to You Know Who?"
He looked up, a glimmer of joy in his face.
"I've read Hogwarts, A History, and it says that no one can simply walk or fly or apparate in without permission. I don't think that Voldemort will have permission to walk through the front door."
At once, Sirius and I gasped at the bravery of this strange boy.
"You…you said that name!" Sirius said, turning white.
"He'll come get you!" I said, as white as an albino.
"Hello? Evil Dark wizard?" He called sarcastically. "I think that he's a little busy." He said, and then we all laughed for a bit.
"It's just a little bit of a habit, you know? We're all scared of him." Sirius said.
"I second that!" I replied.
"Well, he is quite evil. But I think that we should be reasonably scared of him. Be scared of what you know he is. Be scared of what would possibly happen. Be aware. But don't be so paralyzed with fear that you crumble under pressure. Be aware of the truth. Don't be scared of the rumors." Lupin preached
Sirius and I stared at this young eleven year old and his words of wisdom. At the same time, the compartment door opened for the third time.
"Hi, um, I'm Peter. May I sit here?" A timid little boy had come into the compartment, with a face (and I mean this in the kindest way) like a small little rat. Cruel description, but accurate.
"Sure. I'm Remus Lupin. This is Sirius, and James." Remus replied to his request.
Did I know at this time that the boys that I was sitting with would become the best pals in the whole world? No, I wasn't a Seer. Did I know then that they were all hiding great secrets? Lupin was a werewolf? Sirius was abused? Pettigrew was a traitor? I didn't know any of this. If I did, my years at Hogwarts would be extremely different. We would still play tricks, of course, but we would have been a trio. Looking back, I don't miss Pettigrew, the traitor. I miss the man he used to be. The one that would be timid with jokes, would be slightly intimidated with us, but felt like he belonged. I would have forced Padfoot to move into me. The years at Hogwarts would be different. But they would be so less fun.