Sirius woke up with a headache. He dreamt he'd been sorted into Hufflepuff and his mother had made Kreacher chase him around Hogwarts. The loathsome toad would wallop him with a broomstick whenever he slowed down while all the other first years cheered. He rubbed his eyes awake in irritation. Leave it to his mother to haunt him in his sleep.
A grin spread across his face. Today was the day.
Sirius sprang out of bed and into the hot bath that was waiting for him. Twenty minutes later, he was on the table wolfing down breakfast as fast as he could. His mother watched him disdainfully, sipping her tea the entire while. His father was rifling through the Daily Prophet. Sirius would be surprised if he'd even known he was there. He tried to ignore his parents and Regulus's watchful eyes and concentrate on the meal in front of him. His younger brother would be fine without him. The entire family doted on him. In fact, he'd probably be better off without Sirius to get him in any rows with their mother. Yet, he could not help but feel relieved when his mother cleared her throat.
"You are one in a long line of Black wizards and witches Hogwarts has hosted. I expect you to behave in a manner befitting our roots." Her eyes were hard. "If you step out of line, you will answer for it."
Sirius forced a solemn expression on his face and stood up. They'd delivered the rest of the speech the night before and the warning had been far more pronounced then. Recalling the day before made it easier to repress his excitement. "Yes, mother."
He wasn't going to give the crazy bat any reason to rethink home tutoring, not when he was so close to getting out of there. But then, this was to be the last time he was to have breakfast with her for months.
He swiveled at the door and curtsied at the general table. "Worry not, mother. I will bring honour to the noble and most ancient house of Black."
His mother's eyes were narrowed dangerously as he made his satisfied exit.
Platform Nine and Three Quarters bustled happily as friends and families reunited after a long summer apart. The loud laughter of wizards and witches as they grappled against the tide of people to reach one another reverberated across the platform. Parents watched wistfully as their children clamored towards the train, some shouting out last minute advice, others fussing over the younger ones.
The Blacks did not clamor. Walburga stood with Cygnus and Druella, disdainfully watching everyone. Narcissa and Andromeda dutifully stood next to them, murmuring as Druella hissed instructions for who they should and should not interact with and a long list of sins their parents were guilty of. Sirius stood as far away from them as was permissible, his eyes darting enviously at the carefree crowd in front of him.
"You should head to your compartments." Walburga's voice had taken on the cool, distant tone she reserved for company.
This was all the permission Sirius had been waiting for. He nodded stiffly at his mother and aunt and then strode towards the train as fast as his legs would carry him. His heart was pounding in excitement. He was leaving for Hogwarts.
The inside of the train was somehow louder than the outside. People shouted over one another, lightheartedly jostling bags and grabbing food from whoever was carrying any. Two boys on the other end of the train were jumping up and down while still locked in a hug. For a split second, Sirius felt lost.
"You can sit with us if you want. We'll introduce you to some of our housemates."
Andromeda's reassuring voice was the impetus necessary for Sirius to recover.
"I'll be fine, thanks." He said hastily.
He was not going to spend his first day at Hogwarts with the Malfoys or Mulcibers. He scrambled across the train, throwing open compartments until he found one there was room in. Its sole occupant was a small, thin boy with light brown hair that fell to his forehead. Sirius wouldn't have believed he was a first year if he hadn't been on the train. The boy's eyes were tired and the circles around them seemed to get darker when he noticed Sirius's scrutiny.
Cursing himself mentally, Sirius beamed and reached out his hand. "Hallo. Care if I sit here, mate?"
The boy shrugged almost helplessly and gestured towards the seat across from him. Sirius collapsed next to the window, throwing his bag at his feet. The boy seemed to have recovered somewhat and was now returning the scrutiny Sirius had directed at him earlier.
"I've heard there's a Giant Squid in the lake"
"A Giant Squid?"
Sirius grinned. "Reckon it's dangerous to swim with?"
Before the boy could answer, the door was thrown open once more. A girl with a shock of red hair and a small, apologetic smile stood in its place.
"Do you mind if I wave to my parents from your window? My compartment's facing the other way and I don't want them to worry."
Sure enough, a couple outside the window was peering nervously everywhere. As soon as they saw the red-head, they began to wave madly. Their enthusiasm was matched by the girl, who reached over Sirius's bag and flapped both her hands in response. A sulky, older looking girl standing at their side gave a half-hearted wave as the train sounded and began to move.
The three watched in silence as the figures became smaller and smaller.
"Thanks. This is all new to them, you know. They're still getting used to the idea of sending me to some mad school where I'll learn to turn people into toads. At least, my sister says it's all mad."
"All of this? You mean magic?" Sirius exclaimed incredulously.
Yeah. I didn't know what it was for the longest time. Magic, I mean."
"My mum's been worried too," the thin boy murmured sympathetically. The two shared a small, doleful smile. "But they know it's what's best for us. Or at least -"
"Do you mean to say you have one of those things? The ones muggles use to get to places and they just race to where you're going? You reckon you can show me how they work? I'll teach you how to turn your sister into a frog in return!"
Before the girl could do any more than look at Sirius with perplexed amusement, a boy appeared at the back. He had black, oily hair offset by a surly expression. An interestingly hooked nose pronounced the haughty way he looked around at everyone.
"Lilly, the compartment will be full if we don't hurry back."
"We were talking," Sirius retorted at the corner of the head he could make out over Lily's shoulder. He gestured at her enthusiastically. "Go on, tell us about the motors. The ones with two wheels."
"I'll just be a minute, Sev."
"Lily. We need to go."
"Lily, we need to goo." Sirius mimicked the boy's voice.
The girl's face immediately became stony. "There's no need to be rude. Let's go, Sev."
The compartment door closed behind her and Sirius and Lupin were once more left alone.
Sirius was crestfallen - his only opportunity to learn about those fantastic things had just slammed the door in his face.
"What a prat!"
Dejected, he kicked his bag and turned to look outside the window.
"They're called cars."
Startled, Sirius looked up at the boy in front of him.
"My mum has one. Those motors? The four-wheeled ones? They're called cars. The two-wheeled ones are called motorcycles. Muggles use them to get to places."
The boy's voice was soft but firm. It was as if he'd been practicing the speech in his head. Now that it was over, he was a little out of breath, his eyes avoiding Sirius'.
Sirius beamed at him, simultaneously awestruck and pleased.
"So you've been in one of those?"
"I've been in cars." The boy looked uncertain. He shrugged. "They're no giant squid."
"They're way cooler."
The boy smiled at him properly this time. Not in the perfunctory, wary way he had earlier. This time he smiled ear to ear and then looked surprised. It was as though he'd forgotten that he could.
"I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."
"Sirius. So, Remus Lupin," Sirius stood up and bowed. "What do I need to do to make you tell me everything you know about these cars?"
Remus turned pink. Sirius was mildly impressed he could.
"You can tell me about the giant squid."
Sirius sank back in his chair and immediately began to weave a tale of terror. Remus was a perfect listener. Every now and then, he would egg him on by asking perfectly innocent questions until the giant squid had become an eighteen-tentacled monster that had a preference for boys with oily black hair and flitted through the nightmares of teenage boys. As the distance between Sirius and the rest of his family increased, he finally began to relax.
Chapter 2
Sirius was surprised when the train screeched to a halt. He and Remus had talked endlessly, snacking on wonderful things the witch with the trolley had had. Granted he'd done most of the talking, but Remus had seemed quite interested. They'd played two games of chess, both of which Lupin had easily 'd surprised Sirius with the enthusiasm with which he'd dug into his food. Remus ate ravenously and had generously shared the most wonderful sandwiches Sirius had ever had.
At first, Sirius couldn't help but wonder at how long it had been since the boy had had a nice meal. His thoughts flitted back to Regulus again and again. Something in Lupins eyes made him feel like he was sitting across from his younger brother. Despite this, Sirius could not remember the last time he had been so at ease. Lupin was miles easier to talk to than anyone he had ever known. Neither one of them had a care in the world. When the train screeched to a halt, he was pleasantly taken aback.
"I can't wait to see the inside of the castle. Bet it's even cooler than the dungeons in Wizengamot," Sirius declared, hopping from one foot to the other as he gathered his bag and dove out of the compartment. "The food had better be good. Aren't you starved?"
When Sirius turned around for his new friend to affirm that he, too, was starved, he found he was surrounded by strangers. Bewildered, he looked around and tried to spot Remus in the throng of first years. He caught sight of a small, forlorn figure standing at the back.
"What are you standing here for?" Sirius asked in astonishment.
Lupin looked at him, equal part embarrassed and uncomfortable.
"C'mon, we want to be the first ones to get there. Don't you want to see what it's going to be like?"
Lupin had indeed been delighted when they'd caught sight of the castle on the train. He had prattled on about all the things he'd read on the castle for about a full minute before turning pink and falling silent. Sirius had been quite pleased; that was the longest Lupin had spoken for. Now, he seemed to shrink in on himself as Sirius tried to drag him forward.
Sirius looked at him in amazement, trying to decipher the longing and the terror visible on the boy's face.
"You're right, mate. Castle can wait for us a little while longer. We can drink in the view until then," Sirius said. He gestured at the cold water, the billowing wind, and the first years desperately clutching onto their belongings.
Remus managed a small smile. Encouraged, Sirius reverted to an amiable recollection of the time his uncle had pushed a first-year in the water to try and see what would happen. Somehow, both of them ended up in the water and they'd been best mates since.
A man with a massive beard and a cheerful, loud voice shouted for them to mount the boat. The man was struggling with something Sirius couldn't quite make out. Gingerly climbing onto the boat, Sirius looked in interest at the two boys already sitting inside.
"Great weather,"
"Only if you enjoy the thought of drowning," said one of the boys drily.
"There's worse ways to go-you could be eaten alive by a werewolf." said Sirius without skipping a beat.
Despite himself, Remus gasped out a laugh. The first boy seemed amused too.
"Or have your head blown off by a dragon."
"Could be chased into a volcano by a hippogriff," Sirius shot back.
"Ripped to shreds by mermaids!"
"Eaten by giant spiders!"
"Squashed by a troll!"
"Kissed by a dementor!"
Everyone winced. The boy grinned and pushed his dark hair back. "We could take 'em. We're going to Hogwarts-where dwell the brave of heart!"
"You're not going to dwell anywhere 'cept the bottom of this lake if you don't stop tossing the boat around," said Sirius, as the boat tipped dangerously to the right.
"Scared?" The boy seemed delighted at the prospect. "I'll protect you from the cold, dark water."
"It's you who'll need protecting. The squid's going to mistake you for one of its babies if you fall in there."
"My dad said there was a giant squid! I thought he was trying to pull one over on me! What do you reckon it looks like?"
"Could look like a tentacled wrackspurt. Could just look like a squirt with mop for hair and glasses."
"I'm at least as tall as you!"
"No you're not!" snorted Sirius.
A minute later, the two were standing on their toes trying to see which one of them was taller. Remus watched in faint amusement. The fourth boy simply looked at them in disgust, clutching onto the boat each times large wave crashed into it. As the two boys started to measure themselves using their wands, the shore mercifully put an end to their efforts.
"Saved by the castle," grinned Sirius.
"You're going to need saving when I get you to that dementor," said the boy, playfully shoving Sirius off the boat. "I'm James Potter, by the way."
Sirius was stunned for a second. Not a Potter, surely?
"I'm Sirius," he said, in a sullen voice.
"What, no last name?" James sounded a bit reproachful at the sudden change in tone.
Sirius grunted noncommittally. He'd been having a good time. He'd almost been able to pretend he wasn't heir to the Black name and fortune for the last few hours. But now he remembered it was his duty to uphold the family legacy. His responsibilities waited for him inside the castle. He miserably kicked a rock and pushed his hands inside his pockets.
James was still speaking. He shoved Sirius playfully. "Go on, at least tell me which House you want to be in."
"I'm going to wager a guess and say you want to be in Gryffindor?" Sirius sneered. The fourth boy was grinning nastily.
"What's wrong with Gryffindor?" asked James defensively.
Sirius didn't respond. He clearly did not want to continue the conversation. James seemed a bit hurt but he shrugged and turned towards Remus, the large grin back on his face.
"How about you? Do you have a name? Or a House you want to be sorted in?"
"He'll be a Ravenclaw. Been driving me mad with all the books he's read," Sirius said with a grin.
"I'm Remus Lupin," Remus still looked tense. "I don't really mind any House. I'm just glad to be here."
"You mean to be a wizard?" James looked at him quizzically. He threw his hands up. "I don't know how muggles live without magic," he continued in a sympathetic voice. "They don't even have broomsticks. Imagine not knowing what Quidditch is."
James continued to list the grievances Muggles ought to have. Remus and Sirius were now rigid with tension. Remus was fidgeting next to the red-haired girl now. The first years had been ushered in a hall with a high ceiling and lights that reminded Sirius of Grimmauld Place. Recalling his house worsened the knots in his stomach. James was still prattling on. He seemed a nice bloke and knew a whole lot about Quidditch but Sirius couldn't be friends with a Potter. His mother would never hear of it. And he was likely to never meet Remus again once he was sorted into Slytherin. He'd have to hang out with the likes of Crabbe and Mulciber. Narcissa would report his every thought to his mother and he'd never have a moment of peace.
He was distracted from his unhappy musing by mewling sounds near him. A short, chubby boy was whimpering as two other boys bumped into him repeatedly. The boy dropped the bag he was holding and scrambled on the ground to pick it up. The two boys kicked him as he knelt. A squeal of pain escaped him.
Sirius was enraged. He strode towards the two boys furiously, ready to use his wand and his fist, he hadn't yet decided which. Right as he neared them, James Potter rushed forward and pushed one of the boys to the ground. His expression mirrored Sirius.
James' voice was strained. "What sort of a dung beetle hits someone half their size?"
"The kind of dung beetle that forgets everyone else doesn't live in dung and won't want it around them." The menacing edge in Sirius's voice was unmistakable.
"We're just having a little fun. Get him jumping," sneered the bigger of the two boys.
"Yeah, well how about we have a little fun with you. What do you reckon, Sirius? Slime charm?"
"Could stick their legs together so they can do a little jumping too," Sirius remarked casually. He had no idea how to perform the spell, but really, how hard could it be? He felt a strange sort of companionship as James moved closer to him so that they faced both boys, hiding the wimpering mess.
The boys looked worried. All four had just drawn their wands when a stern looking witch strode out. Almost as if they had rehearsed it, Sirius and James pulled their wands into their robes and turned to look at the witch with perfectly blank faces. The witch paused for a second and looked at them coolly.
She seemed to think better of it for the time. Turning around to face the rest of the class, she commenced her greeting speech. Sirius and James heaved a sigh of relief, grinning at each other. The last thing Sirius wanted was to have an Owl sent to his mother.
"You're all right, mate. Wouldn't mind having you watch my back. We could show them all."
Sirius snorted. James looked at him quizzically. Before he could ask him anything, he was distracted by the end of the witch's speech. James' hand shot up. Without waiting, he asked,
"Can we be sorted in a new house?"
The witch gave him a steely look.
James persisted. "If the Sorting Hat doesn't like us, do we have to spend the next seven years with the house elves? Mine knows a few tricks I wouldn't mind learning."
Giggles rippled across the room.
The witch pursed her lips. "You can only be sorted in one of the four houses. But if you wish to spend your year with the elves, arrangements can be made. I know they would be delighted to teach you how to bake their famous treacle tarts in time for our first lesson."
Laughter burst out and James joined in. He didn't seem remotely embarrassed and drunk in the attention. Sirius was now closer to where Lupin stood.
"Follow me now, all of you!"
"I wouldn't want to be on her bad side for too long," muttered Sirius to Lupin.
As Sirius glanced at him, he realized Lupin was white as a sheet.
"I don't belong here."
Sirius wasn't sure he heard him correctly.
"What was that?"
"I shouldn't be here. I should leave."
He seemed near tears.
Sirius looked at him in horror and pity. Fighting the impulse to shake the boy, he clicked his tongue at him sympathetically, the way his uncle used to.
"Believe me mate, I've thought of leaving a hundred times already. I'm a Black- we all get sorted into Slytherin and go on to do mad, pure-blood things and tell muggles they can stuff it. I don't want any of that. But I figure that's for later. For now, there's us and a few years to ignore all that. And maybe to fight some pixies along the way."
Remus looked at him in speechless bewilderment.
"You belong here, you know that right? We all do, even when we don't. Least that's what I tell myself," Sirius ended self-consciously.
An awkward silence fell between them as the first years stood on their toes to examine the magnificence of the Great Hall. Even Sirius was impressed. Their examinations were interrupted by witch as she began to call out names. Each name was followed by a timid first year trepidly approaching the hat as if worried it was going to eat them. When the hat would call out a house, applause would burst out and the first year would scamper off, looking surprised that it hadn't unhinged its hidden jaws and swallowed them whole.
"Black, Sirius."
Sirius's heart was pounding uncontrollably. "Straight to the guillotine for me," he grimaced.
James stared at Sirius blankly, shocked at the revelation. Sirius tried to smile as if he had no care in the world. It must not have been very convincing because Lupin looked at him with far too much understanding for his liking.
"There's no rule that says you have to be a Slytherin," Remus said softly.
It was Sirius's turn to look bewildered.
"There's no rule that says if you're a Black, you're a Slytherin. Just like there's no rule that says I can't study at Hogwarts. We choose what we become." Remus's face was fierce.
Sirius simply looked at him. His stomach was in knots. He was so conflicted, but he had no idea what about. All he knew was that he wanted to trust Lupin's words and escape the cold halls of Grimmauld place. He was away, he was free, he wanted to be free. Why then did he feel more trapped than he ever had felt in his life?
"Black, Sirius." Professor McGonagall's voice was a note sharper. Titters broke across the Great Hall.
"That's my cue." This time, Sirius managed a convincing smile as he mimicked having his head rolled off. A ghost near the Gryffindor table sniffed indignantly.
"We can still make them jump after, mate."
James' cheerful voice startled Sirius. Now his headache was back. What was Potter playing at? As if he could ever be friends with a Black. All Sirius could remember while walking up to the hat was the dream he'd had that morning. A choice, Lupin had said. Sirius's choice? His mother's?
He was relieved when the hat touched his forehead. It would know what to do. There wasn't any choice, there was just what was.
But there is also what could be, croaked a voice in Sirius's head. Was that the hat or had he finally lost his marbles?
You are a Black. You would be a formidable Slytherin. But that's not the only road there is.
But Sirius didn't know what he would be if not a Slytherin. What was the point of a bloody choice if he couldn't make up his own mind? Regulus's face swam forward. If he made a choice, perhaps Regulus could have one too when he came. What was it that James had said? We could show them all.
Very well then.
Gryffindor!
The last word had been screamed out for the students to hear. A hush fell across the hall for a few seconds before scattered, halfhearted applause broke out. Sirius Orion Black, the third of his name, was now the first Black to be a Gryffindor. So much for honouring the family crest.