Yay, my second-ever Cars fic! And another one-shot!
This is loosely based off the video game. I was watching my little brother play "Sheriff's Hot Pursuit" where he has to chase down 3 speeders. One of them, I was shocked to find out, was Mia Miata! (At least, I think she's a Miata.) After watching him play it at least three times, I was inspired to write a fic about it, which he read and loved! So...here you go, 9-year-old approved!
"(Nebbercracker's house) turned into a monster, so I blew it up."-DJ from Monster House
Mamma Mia!
Sum: One shot of Mack's diesel fuel, and Mia goes ballistic! Taken from the video game. One-shot fic.
Mia Miata was on her lunch break at Flo's V8, where she and her sister Tia worked. Whle she maxed and relaxed, she talked to Mack Truck, Lightning McQueen's driver. She loved hearing stories about her hero, and had come to respect the jolly truck himself.
"So how did you and Lightning meet?" she asked.
"Well, I'd been working for the Rusteze team for 3 seasons already," he explained, "Our last driver had retired, and the guys sent me to Nashville to check out the fresh talent.
"When I got there, I started hanging out with some of the other trucks and checking out the scene. There was a lot of talent, but other teams were pickin' 'em off like chicken heads.
"All of a sudden, this bright red streak zooms right by me in a flash of blinding light. I said, 'Whoa! That kid's fast as lightning!' And the coach in charge of the thing said to me, 'That's what his parents named him: Lightning McQueen!'
"It was amazing watching him go! If we had a hot rod like him, the Rusteze team would be in the clear! So after he was done, the coach calls him over and says, 'Hey, McQueen! Someone from the Piston Cup circle wants to talk to ya!'
"Of course, Lightning was kinda nervous, but I was real friendly with him. I said, 'Hey, kid. You got a lot of real talent out there that we could sure use. How'd you like to join the Rusteze racing team?' He agreed right off the bat. He kissed his family goodbye, and I packed him up and drove him back to Texas. We've been friends ever since."
"That is so sweet, Mack," Mia smiled, then noticed he was still filling up. "Uh, Mack? Do you really need all that?"
"Oh, absolutely," he said brightly, "I drive Lightning all over the country, you know. I've got to have my diesel! Especially Flo's fuel; this stuff will keep me geared for weeks!"
"Cool! Can I try some?"
"Absolutely not!" His voice turned serious. "Diesel fuel is for big trucks like me. No offense, Mia, but you're a sports car; your tank isn't built to run on diesel."
"But it's just gas," she said calmly, "What's the difference?"
"There's a huge difference, kid," he said, "The fuel I run on is important to my job. It's strong, and it has to be for me to drive so far for so long. It keeps me awake for it. It's too strong for you, Mia. Get it?"
"Got it."
"Good." Ding! He nudged the nozzle back in place and drove off to Willy's Butte to get Lightning. Mia watched him go and looked back at the green gas nozzle; it was dripping a bit.
'Shame to let good fuel go to waste,' she thought, 'I'm half down, anyway.'
Making sure no one was looking, she circled around next to the nozzle. After one more glance, she took a breath and stepped on the fuel pedal for about 2 seconds and quickly got back out and waited.
'Hm,' she thought, 'This isn't so bad. Maybe Mack was wrong. I don't see what the big'--
Suddenly, her eyes popped; one of them squinted as a click went inside her clockwork. Her oil pressure gave the equivalent of an adrenaline rush, and she barely noticed her twin park next to her.
"Hi, Mia!" she greeted, "What's up?"
"TOWANDA!!!!" Mia screamed as her tires screeched. She bee-lined out of the café and into town, leaving an open-mouthed Tia next to a pair of black skid marks. Flo came up.
"What's wrong with Mia?" she asked.
"I don't know!" Tia said, then panicked, "But I've gotta help her! You stay here, I'll get the Sheriff!" She zoomed off. Flo turned and saw the diesel pump dripping.
"Oh, Mia," she shook her hood, "You teens just never learn."
Tia found the Sheriff at Luigi's store with Mater and the two Italianos. She skidded sideways to a tilting halt.
"Oh, my gosh," she panted, "Sheriff, I need your help! It's my sister, Mia! She's gone beserk!"
"Hold up," Mater interrupted, "Is anyoe else hearin' Lynard Skynard's 'Free Bird'?" They looked behind them just in time to see Mia zoom down Main Street (from Stanley's direction) blasting the song and singing, "Won't you fly-y...Free...Bird!" right past them.
"Mamma Mia!" Guido exclaimed.
"No," Tia corrected, "that's my sister Mia!"
"Que?" he said, confused. While Luigi explained the Italian expression to Tia, the other men sprang into action.
"She's headed toward Willy's Butte!" Sheriff said with authority, "If she hits that turn, she'll go straight into the cactus! Mater, come with me! We'll try and bump her toward Tree Track. Better get the spikes."
"Yes, sir!" Mater bobbed his hood.
"Please be careful, Sheriff!" Tia said anxiously, then asked, "You aren't gonna arrest her, are you?"
"Sorry, darling," he said, starting out at a cruise, "Reckless endangerment's a misdemeanor around here, and if she's on something, that makes it worse. But I promise I won't hurt her. C'mon, Mater!" They sped off. Tia followed them as far as the Cozy Cone. Sally came out to join her.
"What's going on, Tia?" she asked in her sweet voice.
"Something's wrong with Mia!" she sobbed as she leaned on the older Porsche, "I don't know what it is, but she's been tearing through town and now she's gonna hurt herself, and the Sheriff's gonna arrest her!" She started pacing around her nervously.
"He can't arrest Mia!" she continued, "She's too sensitive for the big house!" Sally chuckled and calmed her down.
Meanwhile, Mia was tearing down the dirt track of the butte singing, "Dig a tunna, dig–dig a tunna," over and over to herself. She was on the first turn with the cliff curve when the Sheriff called out to her.
"MIA!" he yelled, "THIS IS THE SHERIFF! PULL OVER NOW, OR YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF!" But Mia was so jazzed up that even though she knew he was there, she couldn't comprehend his warning. She was heading to the tricky turn now, and fast. Sheriff sped up. She was now singing, "And then the dragon comes in the..." And just as he swung around and side-bumped her around the turn, she finished, "NIGHT...!" Without realizing her life had just been saved, she continued on her way yelling, "LOOK, MA! I'M GOIN' FAST!" Sheriff paused for a second of frustration.
"Stinkin' teenagers!" He revved up and left a cloud of dust in his wake as he picked the chase back up.
He and Mater found her doing laps on a circular trail surrounded by trees (like the area behind the motel in the video game) playing and singing VeggieTales songs.
"I can be your friend, LA LA LA!"
"Let's go, Mater!" The Sheriff turned on his light and took after her, blaring his siren. Mater dragged behind him a line of spikes he'd gotten from the shack and laid it across the trail as the Sheriff had told him to. He hid in the bushes just as they came racing around the bend. The Sheriff screeched to a halt, but Mia ran right over the spikes, squeaked with surprise, and coasted to a wobbly stop.
"Whooooo..." she wobbled, "Hot wings." The Sheriff cruised in front of her with a stony face. Mater joined him.
"Havin' fun, city girl?" Sheriff asked sharply.
"Pretty lights," she said with a goofy grin, "Do they make words?" The Sheriff shared a flat sideways glance with Mater and nodded in her direction. Mater took the signal and positioned himself behind the crashed Miata.
"Just relax, darlin,'" he said, readying his tow hook, "Everthang's gonna be okay. Just sing a song to yourself, and we'll be home before you know it." That was his nurturing way with ladies and children, and Mia was both.
So The Sheriff drove back to town with Mater towing Mia, fuel-crashed and blown out, singing to herself in stupid ectasy.
"Behind the clouds," she sang, "the sun is shi-ining. Believe me, even though you can't quite make it out..."
"Ohh..." Mia moaned and squinted; a bright light was glaring on her, and she felt suspended.
"What happened?" she croaked, then felt something jab her in the rear end.
"CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" she jumped, now fully awake, "WHAT IS THAT?"
"Calm down, short shot," said Doc Hudson's voice, "And stop moving, or it'll stick."
"Doc," she asked, "what happened? How did I get here?"
"I done brung you!" Mater proclaimed, "You was all jazzed up on I-don't-know-what, and you started tearin' up the town, and the Sheriff saved you from Willy's Butte, and we ran you down with spikes! (...) You mean you don't remember?"
"No," she said blankly, "All I remember is talking to Mack, and then I blacked out!"
"You usually do," said Doc in front of her, "when you're wildly drunk on diesel fuel!"
"Huh?!" she said, "Drunk?! What do you mean?"
"I knew when Mater dragged you in here that you were either high or drunk." Mia shifted uncomfortably.
"How could you tell?" she asked in a small voice.
"Your tires were blown, and you were singing 'Shake Your Booty' from KC and the Sunshine Band," he answered blandly, "Besides that, I just drained your tank and found diesel mixed in with your own gas!" He glared at her and asked, "You want to explain that, miss hotshot?" She gulped, then the doors burst open to admit her twin sister.
"Mia!" Tia cried out as she skidded to her, "Thank heaven you're all right! You had me totally freaked out! You were singing and blasting music and quoting movies and left tire marks on the café lot!" Mia gasped!
"The café?" she said, "Oh, lug nuts! Flo's gonna total me!"
"I'm not gonna total you, Mia," said Flo as she entered, "but I am suspending you from work."
"Yes, Flo," she nodded.
"And I hereby sentence you to rehab," said Doc, "You'll be at Sarge's camp runnin' laps and giving miles for the next 6 weeks. Sheriff, I trust you'll supervise?"
"You bet, Doc," Sheriff nodded. Mia started to cry.
"This is more than I deserve," she stated, "Thanks, Doc. Thanks, Flo. Thank you Sheriff, Mater, Tia. I promise I'll do better."
From then on, Radiator Springs saw a much kinder, gentler, tamer Mia Miata.
THE
END
Author's Review:
Okay, references...
Towanda is the name of an Amazon woman that was mentioned often in the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes."
'Free Bird' is, obviously from the classic rock band Lynard Skynard.
"Dig a tunna" is from The Lion King 1 1/2.
"Too sensitive for the big house" is from Spongebob!
"And then the dragon comes in the...NIGHT!" is from an early Strong Bad e-mail from the cartoon site, "Look, Ma" line (though I haven't seen it yet) is from Talladega Nights with Ricky Bobby.
"I Can Be Your Friend" is a classic hit from VeggieTales! Yay!
"Hot wings" is another line from Spongebob (episode "Survival of the Idiots" when Sandy knocks out Patrick!)
If you don't know what "Behind The Clouds" is from, you are, by definition, a mook (ask SuperLobsterBoy!) ;)
I hate every song from KC and the Sunshine Band, partly because 3 of their hits ALL HAVE THE SAME BEAT. I'm serious! "Shake Your Booty," "Do A Little Dance," and "That's The Way (I Like It)" are all the same beat!
I made up that story that Mack told her in the beginning; I don't know why. It just popped into my head.
