He can see it in her eyes. Seven years of practice made it easy for him to read her features better than anyone else. She has been asked to make a decision, a big one, and no matter what she choses to do next, he'll be there by her side, but the truth is, her two options will affect their life in so many levels.
He's sitting in his usual spot next to her desk, observing her, her gaze heavy as she closes the file and stands up to clean the murder board, her moves calculated and slow, as if she's sipping in the moment. Castle knows what's running through her mind: that could have possibly been her last case before she becomes captain, or worse, it could have been her last case ever if she choses to run for state senator.
She must have been really deep in thought because when he touches her shoulder she startles.
"Ready to go home?" He asks and she gives him a soft smile. What would she do without that wonderful man, always giving her the deserved space to figure things out.
"Yes, let's go" She grabs her jacket and with tangled arms the couple leaves the precinct to what could possibly be a last time.
The next morning Beckett wakes up throwing up, leaving Castle very concerned. She doesn't eat anything for breakfast saying she won't be able to hold the food for long. The last time he had seen her in this level of stress was the day they got Bracken arrested for good, she had been taking trips to the bathroom the whole day.
"We can cancel you know? Mother and Alexis would completely understand" Castle suggests having a feeling the car drive wasn't a very good idea giving her condition.
"No way, we're both needing this getaway. It'll be good. Plus, I'm already feeling better" She added standing up ready to grab her toothbrush.
"If you say so, I'm no one to argue" Castle clarifies coming from behind her as she starts to brush her teeth and wrapping his arms around her waist. Their eyes locked in the bathroom mirror.
"Besides our wedding day, this will be the first time we're going to the Hamptons as a married couple." He sees the smile behind her foamy mouth. She spits the toothpaste to talk.
"I can't believe it has almost been a year"
"Time flies" He smiles, somewhat nostalgic.
"Before we know we'll be going to the Hamptons with our children" She giggles at her own comment but he can't help but be a bit taken back by her words. Yes, they had talked about it, multiple times actually, and now, the way she says it, makes him want to turn those talks into reality.
"We could always start trying" He blurts out before his mind can stop him. Beckett spits the water out and locks eyes with him again through the mirror, then gets a hold of his arms around her, keeping him close.
"There's nothing else I want more in the world right now" He kisses her neck and she applies more pressure on the way her back rests against his chest.
"I sense a 'but' coming" Castle says and he's pretty sure he even knows what it is about.
"With the job change do you really think it'd be a good time? I mean, shouldn't we be looking for stability right now?" Once again, he can read her, the way her eyes brighten at the topic and the way she unconsciously pulls him closer to her. She wants this as much as he does, she's just scared.
He spins her around so her back is turned to the mirror and they're able to talk eye to eye. His hand finds her cheek and she leans in to the touch.
"What if…" he starts and the curiosity and the bright smile on her face glow brighter than the sun. How is it possible not to love this woman? "you drop the pill and we just go with the flow?"
"When it happens, happens?" Castle can't help but crash his smile to hers, but quickly pulling back to speak.
"No pressure applied. Let's let mother nature do its job"
"We're gonna have a baby" Beckett suddenly blurts louder than they both expected and can't contain her excitement much longer, he just observes her, amused by the way she transitions from this sick person throwing up to this overjoyed mother-to-be. "I love you" she adds and before he can say it back, she jumps at him meeting their lips fiercely and needy.
Castle can't help but realize how much she's changed over their relationship course, two years before she couldn't even bare to talk about their future, afraid of losing everything they'd build over the beginning of their partnership, and now, she's openly and willingly talking to him about a life changing event that might mean them spending the rest of their lives together.
They arrive at their Hamptons house right before lunch time. Castle's glad Beckett didn't feel nauseous during the car ride and was really hopping lunch was already ready so she could eat something, since her dinner from the night before was flushed down the toilet that morning.
"We're hereee" Castle screams as he opens the front door and Beckett just rolls her eyes with a smirk at his childish ways. Alexis comes running from the kitchen to greet them both with hugs.
"I was just about to place the food on the table, you hungry?"
"Starving" The detective replies and a weight is lifted off Castle's shoulders.
"Good, because I made your favorite, spaghetti carbonara, dad's recipe" Alexis tells Kate and she can't stop the flush of adoration from the girl to creep up her body. Linking her arm to Beckett's after they had placed their bags on the foyer, the two girls walk to the table where Martha was already placing the food.
Later that night, after Martha is off to sleep and Alexis is out with some local friends, Castle pours two wine glasses and heads to the couch where his wife awaits him. The lights are all turned off with the exception of the one on the small table next to the couch, the Hamptons never felt like home until she came along.
He sits down next to her and she moves closer, their morning love making had definitely arose in her the craving for more. He hands her the wine and as soon as her hands touch the glass, he watches her eyes go wide, nose twisting, body stiffening and suddenly she turns as white as chalk.
"Oh my god" She whispers, her nose twisting a bit more and she closes her eyes. He immediately gets a hold of her wine "I'm gonna throw up" and then she runs as fast as she can to the nearest bathroom there is. He's on her feet as soon as he enters the bathroom, holding back her hair as the good husband he is.
"I'm going to make us some tea, go outside to breath some fresh air, it'll help."
When Castle steps onto porch with two mugs of chamomile tea and a blanket, Beckett is sitting on the swing bench facing the sea, eyes focused on the waves hitting the shoreline. He places the mugs on the small coffee table and sits next to her draping the blanket on both their backs, she instantly pulls her knees up to her chest as her head enchases on the crock of his neck, sniffing in his scent. His arms automatically wrapped around her, heart breaking as the first tears start rolling down her cheeks. Castle rests his chin on the top of her head, holding her tight against him.
What was wrong with her? When had Kate Beckett been one to cry over the stress of making a decision? He was aware she'd let her weapons down around him long ago, but this? This was not her.
"Talk to me Kate, what's on your mind?" He kisses her head once again. "Is it about the offers? Because you know that no matter what you chose I'll always be here to back you up, and you can do anything you want, you're more than capable"
She moves her head up so she can meet his blue eyes. "I'm just really confused, I don't know what to chose. Being Captain sounds so amazing, being able to stay with the boys, next to my roots, that precinct has been my whole life, but on the other hand, becoming senator will give me the ability to change the world in ways I never thought I'd be able to reach" She stops to sob in her own ocean of tears. "And then there was the baby talk" He immediately interrupts her.
"It wasn't my intention to stress you out with that, I'm sorry"
"No babe, no, the exact opposite." She grabs his face between her palms. "I can't wait any longer to have a baby, hell, we should've started trying on our wedding night!" He giggles a little "The point is, I'm regretting a little we didn't start trying sooner. If we had a small bundle of joy with us right now, I have a feeling my decision would be instantaneous, I wouldn't think twice because deep down I knew which one was the adequate choice for us to raise our baby."
"Then make your choice based on that." He stated and her answer, like she predicted, was instantaneous.
"I want to stay in the precinct" Beckett smiles up at him, his palm pushing back the hairs on her forehead. "That's what I want for me" she pecks his lips "and our family"
"Wonderful choice, Captain Beckett."