A/N
Hello!
This story was a request from ILoveStanMarsh after winning one of our Q.Q.R. contests. This was honestly the first time that me and Maggie wrote serious Style and we never expected to, so I hope you guys like it. This fic is mostly humorous at the beginning with only minor Style, but near the end, there is a lot of it so...yeah. Kenny kind of managed to weasel his way in more then we expected. Hopefully that's not a problem for anyone!
Congratulations ILoveStanMarsh and enjoy! :)
DISCLAIMER: Me and Maggie own nothing. All of the characters in this story belong to the great guys who make South Park.
WARNINGS: Swearing, Character death, and Slash
~.~
"Dude this is going to be so awesome!" an excited Stan Marsh exclaimed.
"Yeah, I've been waiting all year for this hayride; I heard that it's sick!" Kyle responded.
"Ugh…this is gonna suck." Cartman mumbled.
After a long, two hour wait, the group of friends had finally reached the beginning of the line. Among them were Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Wendy, and Bebe.
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?" Wendy asked. "It's really annoying."
"Yeah dude, if you're going to complain the whole time, why don't you just leave?" Kyle suggested.
"That's a great idea, Kahl! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!" Cartman said while getting out of the line and walking into the distance.
When the group was sure that Cartman was out of hearing range, they all cheered.
"Yeah! We finally got rid of him!" Clyde exclaimed.
"It took long enough…" Craig mumbled.
"Aw, come on, fellers." Butters cut in. "Don't you think that we're being a little mean to Eric?"
"Pfft, no! He deserves it!" Bebe answered.
"Yeah, Bebe's right. He's just such an asshole. We're better off without him." Wendy agreed.
"W-Well ok then…"
"Hey!" Clyde interrupted. "It's our turn!"
"GAH! FINALLY!" Tweek screeched.
As the nine friends piled into the cart, a feeling of deep foreboding overwhelmed them.
"Uh…guys…I changed my mind. I don't want to ride this. Let's watch a movie or something instead." Clyde stated.
"Yeah, something doesn't feel right about this hayride…" Bebe added.
Before the group could exit the cart, however, the wooden door slammed shut.
"What the..?" Craig began. Before he could finish his sentence, though, shrieks and screams emitted from the people waiting in line.
"SOMEONE GET THE DRIVER!" a random man yelled. "THE TRACTOR IS BEGINNING TO ROLL DOWN THE HILL!"
"THERE'RE CHILDREN IN THE CART! SOMEONE HELPTHEM!" an old woman in the line cried.
"Wait…the tractor is rolling downhill? But isn't downhill that way?" Wendy asked while pointing to the usual tractor route.
"This farm is on a mountain. So that means…." Stan, who had now just realized the gravity the situation, slowly turned around and saw what he had feared most. "…Shit."
"GAH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Tweek screeched just before the tractor rolled over the edge of the fifty-foot cliff.
"AHHHH!" Everyone screamed as the tractor spiraled uncontrollably down the rocky terrain.
"GET UNDER THE SEATS!" Clyde yelled. Unfortunately, as he tried to slide under the seat, he lost his balance and flew off the side of the cart.
"CLYDE!" Tweek screeched. The only response he got from his former friend was a sickening thud as his body hit the solid ground.
"It's ok, Tweek." Kyle said, crawling over to his friend to reassure him. As he made his way to Tweek, however, the cart hit a bump and Kyle went flying off the side, just as Clyde did.
"KYLE, NO!" Stan cried as he came out from under the seat, grabbed is friend's hand, and pulled him to safety.
"Woah, thanks man." Kyle whispered.
"No problem, dude." Stan said while patting his friend on the back.
"Hey, I think we're on flat ground again!" Bebe pointed out.
The eight friends peeked out from behind the cart's walls, only to see that they had ended up in the middle of nowhere.
"W-where are we?" Butters asked looking around.
"GAH! Guys…"
"I have no idea." Stan answered.
"NNG! GUYS…"
"Well this is just great." Craig started. "You guys invited me to go on a haunted hayride, and I agreed. Then we ended up getting a defective tractor that rolled down a fifty-foot cliff, which ended up killing my best friend."
"Stop complaining Craig!" Stan yelled.
"Yeah." Kenny agreed. "Stuff just happens."
"GUYS…" Tweek continued.
"Oh really? Stuff just happens. You drop your lunch tray and have to go without eating. You trip on your shoelace and fall down the stairs. Hell, you even believe that the creepy old man in the white van really does have candy. That stuff just happens."
"Hey, hey!" Wendy cut in. "We can argue about this later but for now, let's try to find a way out of this place."
"Wendy's right, if we keep arguing; we'll never get out of here." Kyle agreed.
"GAH! GUYS SHUT UP THE FUCK UP FOR ONE MINUTE!" Tweek screeched.
Everyone, surprised by the blonde's outburst, went silent.
"WE'RE SINKING!"
"What?" Butters yelped while looking over the edge of the cart only to find that they, just as Tweek said, were in fact sinking. "Oh, hamburgers!"
"IS THAT QUICKSAND?" Tweek asked.
"I don't know. Why don't you find out?" Craig sarcastically replied.
"GAH! OK!" Tweek replied while stretching out his hand to touch the bubbling sand.
"No! Wait!" Craig shouted, but he was too late; for his friend had already been sucked into the deadly pit.
"Shit…"
"Nice going Craig!" Wendy yelled, fuming with rage. "You killed Tweek!"
"You bastard!" Kenny added in.
Everyone stared.
"What?"
"Hey, uh…guys?" Bebe began.
"W-what?" Butters asked.
"I think we're about to die, too…"
"Why do you say that?" Wendy, who was clearly confused, asked.
"We're already neck deep in the sand." Bebe simply stated.
"WHAT!" Everyone bellowed in unison, looking down.
"How did we manage to sink so quickly?" Kyle asked nervously.
"I don't know dude!" Stan replied.
"I can't die…Not now! I swore I'd outlive fatass." Kyle muttered while grabbing hold of Stan's hand from under the sand.
"Kyle, we won't die." Stan reassured.
"Bye, Stan! I love you!" Wendy called from across the cart.
"I love you too, babe!" Stan replied.
"I just wanted to tell all of you guys that I love you!" Kenny started. "Stan, you're the man. Kyle, we've been through some pretty awesome times together, bro! Wendy, you can be really annoying sometimes, but you're pretty cool. Craig, you're boss. Butters, I love you little buddy. And Bebe…" Kenny paused to wink.
"Oh God, what?"
"…you're hot!"
"Kenny I swear if I could slap you right now…mph!" Bebe was unable to finish, for just like everyone else, the quicksand had completely covered her mouth.
Everyone stood in silence and waited for their long-awaited fate. When the group was completely covered in quicksand, instead of dying, as they thought would happen, they fell below the earth and into a pitch black, cave-like area.
"H-hello?" Butters asked, hoping to get a response.
"Heeey, so I'm not dead after all. That's a first!" Kenny exclaimed.
"Kenny is that you?" Bebe asked.
"Yeah, why? Are you scared? Want a hug?"
The only sound that could be heard after that was Bebe's hand across Kenny's cheek.
"Ow! That hurt!"
Just then, the dark area was illuminated by a sinister, orange wall of fire.
"Ahh!" Bebe shrieked.
Everyone turned to the screaming girl only to discover that she had become completely engulfed in flames.
"Bebe! Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!" Wendy cried, trying desperately to get her best friend to extinguish herself.
Unfortunately, in all of her pain, Bebe completely ignored her friend and burned alive right in front of her friends.
"Woah…" Kenny muttered while looking at the singed body of the girl lying in front of him "Shit just got real."
Everyone in the cart looked around at each other with horrified glances, ignoring Kenny's previous comment.
"Stan, this is getting really bad. Everyone is dying! What if…what if we're next…?" Kyle trailed off.
"Kyle, it'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."
Kyle smiled. "Thanks dude."
"Aw …" Kenny cooed while munching on popcorn. "That's so sweet!"
"Hey, where did you get that?" Craig asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What's it to ya?"
"Please," Wendy snorted, "Stan's with me."
"I don't know Wendy," Kenny teased in a sing-song voice, "it looks like you have some competition now."
"Oh hamburgers…that's not good." Butters intervened.
"No I don't!"
"You're going to have to prove that he still likes you." Craig mocked.
"Fine!" Wendy said while getting up from where she was previously sitting and moving onto Stan's lap.
"Hey Stan."
"Uh…hi Wendy..."
"Wanna make-out?"
"N-Not right now…"
"Why not?" Wendy pouted.
"Because now's not a good time."
Wendy, desperately wanting to prove that the other boys' theories were wrong, ignored her boyfriend's objections and began to make out with him anyway. Stan, who was shocked by Wendy's sudden actions, instinctively pushed her off him. Unfortunately, Stan was sitting right at the edge of the cart and his shove was just hard enough to send her toppling over the wall. Wendy screamed as she fell onto the jagged ground below the cart.
"Wendy!" Stan called. "Oh no, I killed my girlfriend!"
"Haha, smooth dude." Kenny joked.
"I'm a horrible person!"
"At least she didn't get hit by a van. That hurts like a bitch."
"That looked painful. I hurt her so much…"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Shut up, Kenny!" Kyle shouted.
"Ok sor-ry!"
"Dude he has a point, you know." Craig stated. "It could have been worse."
"Yeah! She could've ended up being a stinky pile of ashes like Bebe." Butters added.
"How am I going to live with myself?" Stan continued.
"Look Stan. The damage has already been done, dude. We have to move on." Kyle explained.
"Y-yeah, Kyle's right." Butters agreed.
Stan, who was still overcome by sadness, looked at the ground. "Ok…"
"It's ok Stan!" Kenny said, trying to comfort his friend, "I'll probably be the next to die anyway, so maybe if I see Wendy, I can revive her before I come back to life."
"Kenny? What are you talking about? Once you die, you don't come back to life." Kyle stated.
"Ugh, Kyle we went over this already! I. Can't. Die. I'm immortal."
"Really? Then it must be pretty cool being able to come back to life over and over."
Kenny, who was now exasperated at his friend's momentary ignorance, sighed. "We already went over this, too. Do any of you guys know what it feels like to be stabbed? Shot? Decapitated? Burned…well Bebe does now…Run over? IT HURTS LIKE HELL!"
"Ok, ok, calm down. I'm sorry!"
"Yeah." Kenny mumbled. "You were after you ran me over with that big rig right after you got your license…"
Kyle raised his eyebrow. "Kenny, I've never…"
Kenny released a long-suffering sigh. "Kyle, just take my word for it. You did."
"Pfft." Stan inturrupted. "What are you talking about-"
He was cut off by a look from the blonde.
"Okay, okay." He backed off, and tried to cut the tension by staring off into the area outside of their cart, and mention the first thing he saw. "Hey, what's a Hello-Kitty doll doing here? Those things aren't scary!"
Butters gasped. "OH! That poor dolly! He's probably scared with all those big monsters! It's okay, little fella, I'll save you!" he said, as he climbed down from the cart.
"BUTTERS! NO! DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTH-" Stan shouted, but it was too late. Butters had already reached the now-seemingly possessed doll, which was attacking him with its sharp, shiny teeth.
The last any of them heard from him that night were his far off cries of 'FELLAS! HELP!'
Stan gulped. "Guys. Maybe we should go help him."
"Stan! No!" Kyle tried to convince him. "Then you'll die, too!"
"But-"
"Kyle's right." Kenny, the apparent (according to the others in the cart) 'death expert', interjected. "Don't become a martyr for nothing. Especially if the person brought it upon themselves." He then turned away from the others, mumbling. "I learned that the hard way. Ungrateful bastards…"
Thanks to Kenny's somewhat random ramblings, the tension broke. Well, as much as it could break, considering another of their friends had just died.
"Hey, what's that over there?" Craig asked, trying to change the subject.
"It looks like…" Kyle began "…a white van."
"What's a van doing down here?" Stan questioned.
"Hey Kenny, I dare you to go touch the van." Craig challenged.
"No way dude! There could be a creepy, old pedophile in there and trust me, that awkward moment when you realize that the old man really doesn't really have candy is almost worse than getting hit by a van!" Kenny babbled.
"Whatever, Kenny." Craig said as he hopped over the side of the cart and strolled over to the van.
After a few minutes of wandering around the van and observing it, Craig, who decided that the scene was safe, crawled inside it.
"Hey, where did Craig go?" Kyle asked.
"I think he went inside the van." Stan answered.
"What!" Kenny shouted. "He's gonna fucking die! Why didn't you guys stop him?"
"Why didn't you?" Kyle asked.
"That doesn't matter now, but we have to save…!"
All of a sudden, the three remaining boys heard a scream and turned toward the van, which was now shacking violently.
"What the…?" Stan began.
"Rape!" Kenny yelled. "I'll save you dude!"
Before Kenny could save his friend, though, a rock fell into the cart and hit the blonde boy's head.
"KENNY!"
That was the last thing heard before Kenny fell unconscious.
"Now I have to save Kenny and Craig!" Kyle exclaimed.
"No dude, they're both going to die!"
"But Stan…"
"Please dude, you're the only person I have left."
Kyle thought this over for a moment, sighed, and then looked at the ground at his unconscious friend.
"Aw, Kyle…" Stan muttered.
"I just don't get. How could something that all of us wanted to do on a boring Friday night turn this deadly?" Kyle asked, his voice rising, as if about to cry.
Stan, sensing his Kyle's despair, opened his arms and turned toward his friend. "Come here, dude."
Kyle crawled into his friend's lap and stared blankly into the distance. The two were quiet for what seemed like forever until Stan broke the silence.
"The van stopped shaking."
"That probably means that Craig died, too."
"Well we can't be sure about that. He could still be alive."
Kyle looked up at his friend. "Stan, we lost almost everyone. Clyde, Tweek, Bebe, Wendy, Butters, Kenny and now, possibly Craig…what makes you think he'd be alive?"
"I don't know, dude. How do you know for sure that Kenny's dead?" Stan asked.
"Well considering that everyone else died I just assumed…"
"That he died, too?" Stan finished.
"Yeah. Hey Stan…"
"What?"
"I'm going to at least try to save Kenny."
"No…Kyle please don't."
"I have to! He's our friend!"
"No, I won't let you."
"Stan, let me go." Kyle demanded trying to squirm out of his friend's arms.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
Kyle sighed in defeat. "Why not? Why are you being such and overprotective asshole?"
"Because Kyle…I…I…I love you…"
Kyle froze. "W-wait w-what? Like brotherly love or love-love?"
"Love-love." Stan confessed.
"Oh…" Kyle looked around nervously for a few minutes before setting his eyes on Stan's lips and leaning forward.
Stan, realizing what Kyle was planning to do and refusing to let his one chance go to waste, captured Kyle's lips with his own. Kyle was nervous at first, but as he warmed up to the kiss and began to respond, he could feel Stan smile into it.
It was at that moment that Kenny, who seemed to have a special talent for ruining moments, chose to awake from his rock-induced slumber. "Wha-? Oh, hey, I guess for once I'm not… WHAT THE HELL?"
Stan and Kyle leaped apart, but not wanting to lie to they're friend, could only defend themselves with matching "uhhs…"
"WHAT? WHAT DID I MISS? I MUST HAVE ACTUALLY DIED. I'M HALLUCINATING! I'M…" He cut himself off, and gained a thoughtful look. After a moment, he continued. "Oh, who am I kidding?"
Kyle gave him an odd look. "Wait, what?"
Kenny brushed him off "Please. Kyle was obviously going to end up with you, me, or Cartman. And you," he waved toward Stan, "were the most obvious choice."
Kyle's jaw dropped. "B-but…I didn't think I was…" he paused, becoming indignant. "Wait, Cartman? CARTMAN? Why would I end up with-"
Stan gave him a look. "He has a point."
"But, Cart-"
Not wishing to fight with his newly found boyfriend, he chose this moment to point out- "Hey, look, I think we're back to the beginning of the ride."
As they left their cart, they realized that their friends were not, in fact, dead, seeing that they were standing near the exit, eating ice cream.
After seeing Stan, Kyle, and Kenny's confused glances, Clyde decided to explain.
"Apparently Stan was the one being targeted, so they 'killed' the rest of us to freak him out… well, except for Kyle for… obvious reasons."
"But wait…" Kyle began, "Did you guys know that this was all set up?"
"Not until we 'died'." Bebe answered.
"But how…" Stan began.
"They were filming the whole thing." Craig said matter-of-factly.
"Yeah." Said Wendy. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay for your best friend?"
"Uh." Responded Stan intelligently.
"Don't even try defending yourself, we are so over."
"Hey!" said Kenny, trying to break the awkward tension. "At least we're all alive, right?"
As they agreed, made up, and began to leave, they made a pact that, since nothing good had come of their trip, they wouldn't return in the years to come.
But as Stan and Kyle looked to each other's eyes and linked hands, they couldn't help but disagree. And, after a bit of thought, the others believed the same.
Ok, maybe not nothing.
~.~
A/N
Yup. That was the one-shot. I hope you guys liked it!
Review and Stuff. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows! Bye! :D