How to Have Raphael Chase You: A Beginner's Guide

1. Pull on the tails of his mask.

2. When he's stretching, tickle him.

3. Spray him with water, saying "Bad dog!"

4. Replace his sai with salad tongs.

5. Steal his Modern Ninja magazines.

6. Throw a water balloon at his face, and say "Catch me if you can!"

7. Take a tiny bouncy ball, hold it up to his head, and say "Yup, this is still bigger than his brain."

8. Paint flowers onto his belt, then coat them with water proof glue.

9. Draw on his face many girly things, such as: flowers, kittens, unicorns, etc.

10. When he is sleeping, glue on cat ears and a tail.

11. Fill his punching bag with stones, have him punch it, and say pain is hilarious.

12. Call him a pansy.

13. Call him a pretty, pretty princess.

14. When performing a kata, say "Ice Cream Kitty can do it better!"

15. Sing "Hey Mickey!" with his name instead.

16. Take Spike and give him a makeover.

17. Take him to a large rooftop, look around, shrug and say "Nope, not big enough for your ego."

18. Shove him into a closet, lock the door, and wait for him to figure out the place is filled with cockroaches.

19. Say his new nickname is Cutie Pie Snookums.

20. Sing at the top of your lungs, "RAPH AND LEO SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" and try to finish the song in front of Leo.

21. Take ice cubes, sneak up on him and dump them down his back while singing, "THE COLD NEVA BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS!"

22. Take a handful of assorted fake insects, throw them into his lap, and say, "I'm a beautiful butterfly!", with the accent.

23. Wear a shirt that says 'I'm With Stupid' with the arrow pointing at him.

24. While asleep, put bright red lipstick, blue eyeshadow and other outrageous makeup items on, and sing while he wakes up "WHOOOO IS THAT GUURL I SEEEE?"

25. Take his coffee and replace it with pure lemon juice.

26. Call him a 'kung fu frog'.

27. Paint his bedroom door bright pink.

28. Take a photo of him, draw many non-pleasing features onto it, sign your name largely onto it, and leave it where he will see it.

29. No matter what, constantly call him 'Raphie'.

30. While sleeping, use water proof paint to make him look like the Easter Bunny.

31. Tell him his plans make about as much sense as a sugared up Mikey.

32. Sing 'We Are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift.

33. Cut mask tails extra short, and stash the extra masks.

34. Sing the My Little Pony theme while following him around for a straight five minutes.

35. Play a loud trumpet into his ear.