It was a dark and stormy day in Fiore,the worst the citizens had seen all year. Rain was pouring down over a small orphanage found in the corner of the great city of Magnolia. Juvia Lockser sat on the front steps with her legs up against her chest and her arms curled securely around her legs. Her clothes had soaked up much of the rain, causing it to cling to her body and weigh her down. It didn't feel as if there was any heat left inside her. Even though the rain was far too frigid and unwavering for the rest of the city, Juvia welcomed it. The loud clanging on the tin roof and soft patter of rain on the pavement gave Juvia an escape from the yelling, currently escalating from inside the orphanage.
"I'm sorry, but we don't have any more openings. We simply cannot take her."
"You don't understand, she has no where else to go!"
"We already have too many, and our kids are already going hungry. I'm sorry."
Drip Drip Drop, she thinks as she watches water fall from the corner of the roof into a puddle on the ground. Focus on the rain. The yelling was steadying getting louder. Juvia covered her ears.
"What kind of orphanage rejects a child? You don't know what this kid has been through!"
"And you, sir, don't know what all these kids have been through! I have the responsibility to care for all of them! You have no idea the financial woes-"
Drip Drip Drop.
Her caretaker stepped out on the porch where she sat, but turned back inside.
"Fine sir, I think I understand what kind of establishment this is, and I don't want Juvia anywhere near it!" He slammed the door shut.
Without looking down at Juvia, he descended the steps.
"Let's go Juvia. We'll find you someplace better, don't worry."
Juvia could only nod, but she knew the truth.
Juvia stood up anyway and followed her caretaker out into the worsening rain, and back to the Social Service Office.
Even though Juvia had no home or family to speak of, her caretaker was forcing her to go to school. Juvia knew it mostly to get her out his way while he worked. No matter how small she seemed to make herself, it was never small enough. Today was her first day at a new school, but it was already halfway through the first semester. This meant Juvia was going to stand out.
Juvia watched the sky as she and her caretaker drove up to the school. He was advising her on how to make friends and how to pay for lunch, but she wasn't listening. It wasn't raining, but the sky was blanketed by dark gray clouds. Juvia was thankful that at least the weather understood her mood and apprehension.
Her caretaker pulled up the car to the curb.
From her window she watched as mothers and fathers hugged and kissed their children goodbye. She watched as the children wiped their cheeks or whined about their parents making a scene.
Juvia lowered herself into her seat and looked away.
"Its okay Juvia, you're going to have a good day, and I'll be here to pick you up after class, okay?" Her caretaker gave her a small smile and an awkward pat on the shoulder. He had dark circles under his eyes that seemed to weigh him down.
"Okay, off you go!"
Juvia nodded as she slowly opened the door and trudged onward into the crowd to find her classroom.
She found her classroom with little difficulty and walked up to the teacher, who stood writing on the chalkboard. As kids were filing in, she noticed them glancing her way and whispering. She tugged on the teachers skirt to get her attention.
"Oh, hello there, you must be my new student! I'm Mrs. Karen" Her teacher smiled down at her kindly. Suddenly the bell rang for class and Juvia jumped. A few kids snickered at her reaction, but Juvia refused to turn her head and acknowledge them.
"Oh thats just the bell sweetie, nothing to worry about." She turned toward her class."Okay class, we have a new student. Everyone, this is Juvia Lockser. Say hello to her."
There was a few unenthusiastic hellos.
"Okay Juvia, why don't you tell us a little about yourself, like where you're from, what you like to do, or how many siblings you have?"
Every nerve and muscle in Juvia tightened instantly. She didn't want to do this, she couldn't do this. She looked at her teacher, but she was blurry. She forced her arms to stay by her side so she wouldn't reveal her tears by wiping her eyes.
"Juvia doesn't want to." She whispered to her teacher.
"Oh nonsense! Come on now, don't be shy. We can't start class until you tell us about yourself. Turn so the class can see you." Her teacher said brightly.
Juvia did as she was told but kept her eyes on her shoes.
"Juvia is from a small city outside of here. Juvia -Juvia doesn't like-"
"Why do you talk like that?" One of the kids asked.
"Yeah, why do you keep saying your name?!"
All the other kids nodded in agreement. Some had smirks on their face, others looked mad.
"It's not normal!"
Juvia knotted her jacket in her hands.
"No, Juvia is normal. Juvia just-"
One girl with brown hair frowned deeply at her.
"No if you can't talk normal then you're not normal. Simple as that you weirdo.."
Laughter erupted from most of the class. Juvia turned her head down to hid her face.
"That is enough class! You will not make fun of Juvia for how she talks! It doesn't matter if its different, we're all going to accept her because thats the type of friendly people you should all strive to be. Now Juvia, you can go and sit at the desk in the corner. The one by the window behind Levy."
Juvia stood frozen for a second. Hot tears were silently threatening to slide down her cheeks and her lungs were refusing to fill up with air. She forced her legs to move and drag her to her seat by the window.
She folded her arms on her desk and put her head down angling it so she could see outside. She watched as the first drops of rain splattered across the window.
Her teacher droned on in the background, but Juvia focused on the rain.
Drip Drip Drop.
—-
The rest of the day passed in an agonizingly slow blur. Because it was raining, the class wasn't able to go play or eat outside. This meant they watched a movie inside the classroom while they ate, which was okay for Juvia. It spared her from sitting alone somewhere and being singled out even more.
After school ended, Juvia waited on the front steps of the school as the rest of the kids were being picked up. The rain sprinkled on the pavement as Juvia watched the children bound down the school steps and into their parents arms, ready to take them home. Her caretaker's car wasn't pulled up with the others yet and she didn't see him standing amongst the parents.
Pretty soon the crowd thinned out.
Another 15 minutes passed and only Juvia was left waiting on the stairs. Just then, the doors to the school flew open and several kids strode out. They were the detention kids.
She watched as a group of them unchained their bikes and walked past her. She recognized one from her class. As he was putting on his helmet he spotted her.
Juvia quickly looked down.
But it was too late.
"What, your parents forget about you?" He called over. She heard his friends laugh.
Juvia bowed her head in shame and sat down on the pavement curling up into a ball.
They laughed. "So pathetic." She heard them.
She waited until their laughter and footsteps faded before lifting her head into the rain.
She waited and waited until tears streamed down her face, combining with the rain.
She waited 30 more minutes before giving up and headed towards the Social Service Office.
—
She was sopping wet by the time she got back. No one noticed her as she made her way to her caretakers office and opened the door. He wasn't inside so she situated herself in the chair he had in the corner and waited. Dozens of papers lay on his desk. In the corner an old cabinet file overflowed with even more. She kept her eyes downcast and pushed herself as far she could go in the chair and curled herself up. She was cold both inside and out. She wanted to disappear. She wished she could fold up into smaller and smaller pieces until there was nothing left of Juvia Lockser.
Nobody would care anyway, she figured. She was an orphan that no one wanted. A freak who couldn't even speak right. Even if her caretaker found her an orphanage, no parent would want a defective child. She would always be alone.
With these thoughts swirling around her head and a heavy sadness encompassing her heart, she found herself falling asleep.
—-
She woke to the sound of shuffling papers. Juvia rubbed the sleep out of her eye and stood up. Her caretaker looked up from filling out a form.
"Juvia. How was school?" He asked before looking back down to continue work. He didn't question how she got to his office or seem to remember his promise to pick her up.
Juvia stared at the floor.
"Does Juvia…" She bundled her coat ends in her hands. "Does Juvia talk funny?"
Her caretaker looked up. He hadn't paid close attention before, she barely spoke more than three words at a time, but now it was painfully obvious. She talked in third person. It wasn't an occasionally thing either, he realized. It was consistent and it was most certainly not normal.
"People in class made fun of how Juvia talks. They called Juvia a freak."
He got up, walked over, and bent down in front of her.
"Listen Juvia, I'm going to take you to a doctor and-"
"Because Juvia isn't normal?" He noticed, for perhaps the first time, the sadness in her eyes. He had read her case file and had spent the last week taking care of her, but this was the first time he truly saw and empathized with her pain. It was hard because so many kids shuffled in and out of his care that sometimes he forgot they were more than just a case number. He looked at her slouched frame and hidden face but no kid who survived hardships like her was weak in any means.
"No Juvia, you are normal but I want to make sure you're okay. Don't listen to what the other kids say you hear? You're strong Juvia, so very strong, don't let the other kids take that away from you. Alright?"
She wouldn't look him in the eye, but she nodded. She didn't feel strong. She somehow felt numb and raw at the same time like something was scratching her soul apart bit by bit.
But someone thought she was strong. A little bit of hope fluttered in her chest. Someone believed in her!
She prayed she could live up to her caretakers expectation and stay strong through the rain.
—-
"Juvia appears to be experiencing a mild form of PTSD called depersonalization. Basically by referring to herself in the third person she can separate herself from reality. She does this so she won't have to deal with reality. I've seen it in people who have suffered serious trauma. The good news is she seems to have a very mild form of it and will likely grow out of it." The doctor concluded.
"So there's nothing we can do? Just wait for her to grow out of it?" Her caretaker questioned.
"Well there are different therapies-" At that Juvia stopped listening. That was earlier this morning. Currently she was waiting for the bell to ring, signaling the end of class. This was her fourth day at school and she had missed most of her morning classes today because of the doctors appointment. Even then, the school day was long.
After her appointment it was clear her caretaker didn't know what to do with her. He had already been stuck with her for a week and so far they hadn't found any permanent housing for her. Juvia was currently staying with a cranky old lady for the evenings but her old age prevented her from being able to take Juvia in permanently.
This became her life. She would suffer silently through school only to be forgotten on its steps and then head "home" to live with a senile old lady who would whack her head if she so much as cleaned a dish wrong.
Loneliness became her friend. Juvia imagined it as a tangible entity walking beside her, following her wherever she went. Others she believed could sense it nearby, which is why there appeared to be a force field around her that no one seemed to break through. Her loneliness kept her occupied by whispering to her. "There is a reason you're alone," it would say. She tried to run and hide but no matter how far she ran and no matter where she hid, it would always find her.
—-
Sitting on the steps of school a few months before school was about to end, she waited patiently for her caretaker to pick her up. She always waited diligently everyday for thirty minutes. She continued to hold the small hope that maybe she wouldn't be forgotten. Everyday was the same, but still she persisted.
Her nose was in a book, devouring a story of a life she wished could be hers, when it was suddenly ripped from her hands.
She cried out before shrinking into a ball away from the boy who held her book in his hands.
"Everyday we come out here and here you are waiting, but we all know no one ever picks you up, so when are you gonna get it through your head that no one is coming for you! Nobody wants you!"
A shaky breath escaped her as she shivered at his words.
"Hey why don't ya just shut up, Zancrow!" Juvia looked up and noticed a boy standing across from her on the steps. He had a black mohawk and his face was etched in a scowl.
"Stay out of it Gajeel! You loner freak!"
Gajeel dismissed him with a tilt of his chin.
"Keep walking, Zanecrow."
Much to Juvia's surprise he complied, but not before mumbling something about losers.
Gajeel turned toward Juvia.
"Stay away from that guy. He's a jerk." And with that, he started walking off.
Juvia jumped up. "Thank you!"
Gajeel turned back, startled. "Yeah well, whatever." and continued on his way.
Juvia sat back down and watched his retreating form until she couldn't see him anymore.
—-
About a week later, Juvia sat tapping her pencil impatiently on the desk.
She watched as the clock ever so slowly ticked off the minute of class.
Finally, the bell rang. Juvia jumped up, gathering her books as quickly as she could in her arms. She restrained herself from running out the door, choosing to walk calmly instead. After her encounters with Zanecrow Juvia decided to walk to her caretakers office right away instead of waiting. She never brought up the fact that he forgot her everyday nor about her bully. He already had too much on his plate.
Besides, she liked walking alone. It gave her a sense of freedom and peace. She took a deep breath, breathing in the crisp air. The cloudy weather still hadn't lightened up, it was heavy with rain waiting to fall..
Juvia descended the steps quickly, glad to be alone. At least she was until she turned straight into Zanecrow.
"Hey, watch it!" He yelped until he realized who it was. "Oh, well if it isn't Miss Freak. Walkin' home alone I see? What, no parents?"
Juvia flinched back before she could catch herself.
"Ha that's it, isn't it! No one wanted such poor little freak for a daughter." He sneered. His friends laughed around her.
"I don't have time to stay and chat-" He said as he shoved her to the ground. Juvia's hand sliced the gravel on the ground, splitting her hand open. Drops of blood oozed to its surface. He kicked her books into the dirt. His eye caught on something that fell out of her backpack.
"What is that ugly thing?" He questioned as he picked up her home made doll. "Ugh you can't even afford a real doll. Your poor and unwanted."
Before Juvia could stop him he smashed his foot down on her doll smothering and crushing it's face into the dirt. Tears pooled in her eyes as sobs started to rake her body.
Juvia had personally made the doll out of leftover fabric and buttons she scavenged from the old lady's house she stayed with in the evenings. It wasn't like the other girl's dolls, with their pretty hair and many glamorous outfits. Her doll was simple white fabric with buttons sewn on for eyes. She never went anywhere without it. It was her only friend.
"That is the most pathetic doll I have ever seen. Well, I'll see you tomorrow cause my parents are calling for me. Have a good day, orphan girl."
Juvia didn't move until she couldn't see him anymore. With a blurry vision she stumbled to her feet and ran to her doll. One of her eyes, a button, was hanging from a single string. Her white fabric covered in mud.
Juvia started to cry. Her whole body was shaking and her tears fell silently to the ground, matching the rain.
She hugged her precious doll to her body as close as she could.
"It's okay. It doesn't matter, I'll always love you and- and Juvia will fix you, make you all better."
Gently, so as not to make the button fall off, she placed her doll into her backpack.
She looked at her stomped up books lying crumpled by her feet. Gingerly, she picked one up and brushed the dirt off. She went to grab another one, but a hand shot down and grabbed it before she could. She looked up at the boy with the black mohawk as he roughly brushed off the dirt.
"It was that idiot Zanecrow, wasn't it?"
Juvia only stared.
Gajeel huffed and looked at her sternly before suddenly glancing away.
"That guy has it comin'."
He grabbed the rest of her books and stood up. He offered her his hand to help her up, but when she only gaped at him he started to fidget.
"You want help or not?" He asked.
She took his hand and he yanked her up.
"Name's Gajeel, by the way."
"Juvia." She said.
"Yeah you're in my class." He pushed her books into her arms.
After a beat of silence Gajeel spoke up. "Okay well, see ya." Gajeel grunted, making no effort to move.
At his comment, Juvia nodded and started to walk in the direction of her caretakers office.
Behind her, Gajeel watched until he rolled his eyes at himself. He ran back up to her. Wordlessly, he took her books from her arms and kept walking in the direction she was headed. Juvia looked at him questionably, still too stunned to say anything.
Without looking at her, Gajeel shrugged his shoulders. "M' goin' the same way, might as well."
And for the first time since her parents died, Juvia smiled.
And so that became their routine for the next two weeks. Throughout the day they kept their distance from one another, neither acknowledging the other much. But when the bell rang, they would leave school together and venture out into the world. Gajeel would always walk Juvia to the Social Service Office, but it became a game to them to go a different path each day. At first their walks would be silent, but slowly they talked more and more. One day, she and Gajeel found a gray cat wandering the alleyway trembling from the cold and crying for food. Juvia had watched as Gajeel gently took the cat in his arms and wrapped it in his sweatshirt. When he noticed her watching him he just rolled his eyes and mumbled something about it deserving a home. They bought the cat some food and a bandage to cover a cut above his eye. Gajeel carried the kitten while they walked to her caretakers office and grinned when he purred loudly as Juvia pet him goodbye. The next day after school Gajeel proudly declared to Juvia that he named the cat Pantherlilly.
"Pantherlilly? What kind of name is that?" Juvia questioned.
Gajeel smiled broadly. "A manly name, thats what!"
"Okay, whatever Gajeel says."Juvia smiled. Gajeel pushed her gently.
"My Pantherlilly is the strongest cat at Fairy Tail! Shows that idiot Natsu's cat whose boss!"
Juvia looked confused. "What's Fairy Tail?"
Gajeel was still grinning about his cat. "Ah, it's an orphanage. My old man walked out on me seven years ago and never looked back." He noticed the pity in Juvia's eyes. "Hey, don't give me that! Better this way anyway. Don't need him. 'Sides your dad works with Social Services right? Sure he's seen worse cases."
Juvia looked down at her feet. "Mr. Doranbolt is not Juvia's father."
"Oh, um I-"
"No, Juvia didn't tell you. Juvia doesn't have a home. Mr. Doranbolt keeps looking but he can't find one who will take Juvia. Especially now since no one will want a girl with mental issues."
Gajeel frowned. "You have mental issues?"
Juvia nodded but she couldn't look at Gajeel. She didn't want to scare her only friend away by admitting she was crazy, but at the same time she wanted to be liked for all her flaws.
"Juvia doesn't talk right because the doctor says Juvia is scared of the past. She said Juvia is trying to separate herself from reality."
Juvia kept her eyes on her shoes and focused on walking. She didn't want to see her only friends disgust at inability to act normal. She wouldn't be able to bear it.
"Psh, that it?"
Juvia stopped and turned back to where Gajeel stood and his arms crossed.
"Please, you're probably the most sane person I know." He looked away for a moment in thought before looking back at Juvia.
"Tell your care-person or whatever to check out Fairy Tail orphanage. Marakov will take any idiot off the street." He smiled broadly showing all his teeth. "Then you could watch Panterlilly in all his glory!"
And that is how they walked home that day. Gajeel gushed over his cat the whole way, bragging about his accomplishments, never once realizing the gift he had bestowed upon Juvia. Juvia's heart had been filled up with rocks at such a heavy weight that it threatened to crush her constantly. But his friendship lifted some of that weight off her and she felt like she could breathe again. So much so she skipped all they way to her caretakers office.
Because for the first time in her life, she had someone who cared.
AUTHORS NOTE: This is part one out of four or five chapters! I hope you like it! Please Review